Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Legacy.com)   Pennsylvania man writes his own obituary, goes out with a laugh "at room temperature"   (legacy.com) divider line 65
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

8317 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Aug 2014 at 12:39 AM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



65 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-08-04 11:49:51 PM  
He would like to remind his friends: "Please, don't email me, I'm dead."

OK, that got a chuckle.
 
2014-08-05 12:44:28 AM  
"I'll be right back" decent epitaph.
 
2014-08-05 12:46:52 AM  

Old Man Winter: "I'll be right back" decent epitaph.


Actually, I wonder what the kids and the newfangled texting shortcuts will do to headstones. Pay by the letter might backfire.

Here lies BD
BRB LOL
 
2014-08-05 12:48:34 AM  
I just told my husband that if I go before him, I want an obit that makes people laugh. Promised to do the same for him. :D
 
2014-08-05 12:50:54 AM  
what do I want for an Epitaph?  5 words

"Game over man Game over!"
 
2014-08-05 12:53:52 AM  
Try the veal
 
2014-08-05 01:00:22 AM  
I think my headstone will read "farking lag spike"
 
2014-08-05 01:02:16 AM  

GloomCookie613: I just told my husband that if I go before him, I want an obit that makes people laugh. Promised to do the same for him. :D


Let me run this idea by you:


You are cordially invited to my viewing and funeral services to be held at XYZ funeral home on yymmdd from 9:00AM to noon sharp. Dont be late I already am. BYOB and leave your kids at home just this once OK? I'll be the one in the coffin. Pull my finger I triple dog dare you.

RSVP and smooches, the Gloomster
 
2014-08-05 01:06:01 AM  

codigo: I think my headstone will read "farking lag spike"


He was in advertising.so he could get a free tombstone.  All he had to do was put "Sex" on his headstone and somebody would buy it.
 
2014-08-05 01:11:13 AM  
www.bjwinslow.com
 
2014-08-05 01:19:20 AM  

Xcott: [www.bjwinslow.com image 500x375]


Bravo.
 
2014-08-05 01:20:17 AM  

img.fark.net

 
2014-08-05 01:20:26 AM  

Xcott: [www.bjwinslow.com image 500x375]


UsikFark: Xcott: [www.bjwinslow.com image 500x375]

Bravo.


mentalfloss.com
 
2014-08-05 01:23:54 AM  
Jesus says next time he will use a small styrofoam tombstone rather than a huge stone one.
 
2014-08-05 01:31:13 AM  

Old Man Winter: "I'll be right back" decent epitaph.


spydersden.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-08-05 01:31:26 AM  
Nicely done, clever man.
So long.
Don't get up; I'll see myself out.
 
2014-08-05 02:00:03 AM  

mikaloyd: GloomCookie613: I just told my husband that if I go before him, I want an obit that makes people laugh. Promised to do the same for him. :D

Let me run this idea by you:


You are cordially invited to my viewing and funeral services to be held at XYZ funeral home on yymmdd from 9:00AM to noon sharp. Dont be late I already am. BYOB and leave your kids at home just this once OK? I'll be the one in the coffin. Pull my finger I triple dog dare you.

RSVP and smooches, the Gloomster


A+ for the effort, but it needs more snark and silly to capture the me my friends and family know. I've already requested "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" be played at any memorial service or wake and encourage the idea of a group sing-a-long. fark being sad, be thankful you bastages had me at all! :D
 
2014-08-05 02:12:26 AM  
Hey Johnson-

FREE YOUR BODY AND SOUL
UNFOLD YOUR POWERFUL WINGS
CLIMB UP THE HIGHEST MOUNTAINS
KICK YOUR FEET UP IN THE AIR
YOU MAY NOW LIVE FOREVER
OR RETURN TO THIS EARTH
UNLESS YOU FEEL GOOD WHERE YOU ARE!
 
2014-08-05 02:15:51 AM  
www.florida-backroads-travel.com
Jackie Gleason...
 
2014-08-05 02:16:13 AM  
Now that was a helluva guy.

See you on the other side.
 
2014-08-05 02:19:05 AM  
He died doing what he loved, stealing jokes.
 
2014-08-05 02:20:01 AM  
www.calebwilde.com
 
2014-08-05 02:20:15 AM  
Then he jumps out of the coffin at the funeral, saying "just kidding"!

/or maybe not
//epic obituary
 
2014-08-05 02:23:43 AM  
www.calebwilde.com
 
2014-08-05 02:25:16 AM  

GloomCookie613: mikaloyd: GloomCookie613: I just told my husband that if I go before him, I want an obit that makes people laugh. Promised to do the same for him. :D

Let me run this idea by you:


You are cordially invited to my viewing and funeral services to be held at XYZ funeral home on yymmdd from 9:00AM to noon sharp. Dont be late I already am. BYOB and leave your kids at home just this once OK? I'll be the one in the coffin. Pull my finger I triple dog dare you.

RSVP and smooches, the Gloomster

A+ for the effort, but it needs more snark and silly to capture the me my friends and family know. I've already requested "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" be played at any memorial service or wake and encourage the idea of a group sing-a-long. fark being sad, be thankful you bastages had me at all! :D


How about . . .

img.fark.net
 
2014-08-05 02:33:06 AM  
Pretty chipper obituary considering he was only 53 when he died. Not sad or angry that he was dying at a fairly young age. And no mention of cause of death.
 
2014-08-05 02:33:53 AM  
"The clay that rests beneath this stone
As Silas Wood was widely known.
Now, lying here, I ask what good
It was to let me be S. Wood.
O Man, let not ambition trouble you,
Is the advice of Silas W."

/obscure but it remains a favorite.
 
2014-08-05 02:35:02 AM  
What a cold sense of humor.


/I want my tombstone to say "RM was a decent person"
//I hope no one laughs at that though
///the joke is that Muslims don't (usually) have tombstones
 
2014-08-05 02:57:26 AM  

eldie: Pretty chipper obituary considering he was only 53 when he died. Not sad or angry that he was dying at a fairly young age. And no mention of cause of death.


Yeah but he gave date of death and time/date of services so it was self induced and he had funeral reservations in advance or he had help writing this. Possibly a ghost writer
 
2014-08-05 03:05:36 AM  

Resident Muslim: What a cold sense of humor.


/I want my tombstone to say "RM was a decent person"
//I hope no one laughs at that though
///the joke is that Muslims don't (usually) have tombstones


Wat?

us.123rf.com
 
2014-08-05 03:06:40 AM  

codigo: I think my headstone will read "farking lag spike"


I think mine is just going to say

AFK
 
2014-08-05 04:05:11 AM  

reubendaley: GloomCookie613: mikaloyd: GloomCookie613: I just told my husband that if I go before him, I want an obit that makes people laugh. Promised to do the same for him. :D

Let me run this idea by you:


You are cordially invited to my viewing and funeral services to be held at XYZ funeral home on yymmdd from 9:00AM to noon sharp. Dont be late I already am. BYOB and leave your kids at home just this once OK? I'll be the one in the coffin. Pull my finger I triple dog dare you.

RSVP and smooches, the Gloomster

A+ for the effort, but it needs more snark and silly to capture the me my friends and family know. I've already requested "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" be played at any memorial service or wake and encourage the idea of a group sing-a-long. fark being sad, be thankful you bastages had me at all! :D

How about . . .


Ok, now that's some gold right there.
 
2014-08-05 06:10:55 AM  

GloomCookie613: mikaloyd: GloomCookie613: I just told my husband that if I go before him, I want an obit that makes people laugh. Promised to do the same for him. :D


A+ for the effort, but it needs more snark and silly to capture the me my friends and family know. I've already requested "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" be played at any memorial service or wake and encourage the idea of a group sing-a-long. fark being sad, be thankful you bastages had me at all! :D


"Amazing Grace" can be sung to various tunes; I am torn between directing the use of "the Mickey Mouse Song" or "Gilligan's Island Theme." Also, "Spirit in the Sky" by Norman Greenbaum because who doesn't want an awesome bass line as they depart. No tombstone or casket, cremation for me. Though if they could do it legally, a Viking funeral pyre on a local lake would be cool.
 
2014-08-05 06:33:10 AM  
"He will be laid to rest at Mount Olivet Cemetery, section 7N. He asks to please make note of his new address."

I liked that one.
 
2014-08-05 07:19:54 AM  
If I set up my out of office with the "Don't email me I'm dead" line... I wonder how many coworkers would bite.
 
2014-08-05 07:24:27 AM  
Cheeky obit.  I thought long and hard about something fun/different for a funeral service.  For a while It was the Python classics, Bright side of life and the universe song.  Lately though I had a change of heart to add one more song and that would be the traditional Maori Haka as sung by a horde of swedish chef muppets.  I chuckle every time I try and imagine that.
 
2014-08-05 07:44:08 AM  

GloomCookie613: mikaloyd: GloomCookie613: I just told my husband that if I go before him, I want an obit that makes people laugh. Promised to do the same for him. :D

Let me run this idea by you:


You are cordially invited to my viewing and funeral services to be held at XYZ funeral home on yymmdd from 9:00AM to noon sharp. Dont be late I already am. BYOB and leave your kids at home just this once OK? I'll be the one in the coffin. Pull my finger I triple dog dare you.

RSVP and smooches, the Gloomster

A+ for the effort, but it needs more snark and silly to capture the me my friends and family know. I've already requested "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" be played at any memorial service or wake and encourage the idea of a group sing-a-long. fark being sad, be thankful you bastages had me at all! :D


We had a sing along for my paternal grandfather.  Dude had 10 kids, two wives. and a drinking problem.  Bailed on the first wife (my grandma) after the birth of number 9 and 10.  Second wife bailed on him once the party stopped (kidney/liver failure).  By all accounts this guy was a lousy and abusive husband/father, but we still had a got-damn sing-a-long at his wake.

/Catholic Mass doesn't go for that kind of thing during the funeral.
//Farking goofy set of people.
///Proud to be a member
 
2014-08-05 07:47:01 AM  
I want cheese and pepperoni on my tombstone.
 
2014-08-05 08:21:55 AM  

The Googles Do Nothing: I want cheese and pepperoni on my tombstone.


playfulness.in

/ oblig
 
2014-08-05 08:31:11 AM  
I think I would have liked to have a beer with this guy.  RIP.
 
2014-08-05 08:42:42 AM  
I am negative surprised he was in advertising. My dad was in the ad biz for a long time; 95% of the folks he knew/worked with were either rollicking delights like Kevin there or absolute bastards.
 
2014-08-05 09:04:23 AM  
I plan to be creamated... possibly with some sort of "The stupid it burns!!... hey wait a minut....."
 
2014-08-05 09:24:24 AM  

GloomCookie613: I just told my husband that if I go before him, I want an obit that makes people laugh. Promised to do the same for him. :D


This. And instead of spending money on flowers to display at the funeral, take that money and send the flowers to my wife in a few months. She loves getting them, and I hope it would make her smile.
 
2014-08-05 10:14:40 AM  

RainbeauxSue: I am negative surprised he was in advertising. My dad was in the ad biz for a long time; 95% of the folks he knew/worked with were either rollicking delights like Kevin there or absolute bastards.


or both
 
2014-08-05 10:37:16 AM  

Unobtanium: GloomCookie613: mikaloyd: GloomCookie613: I just told my husband that if I go before him, I want an obit that makes people laugh. Promised to do the same for him. :D


A+ for the effort, but it needs more snark and silly to capture the me my friends and family know. I've already requested "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" be played at any memorial service or wake and encourage the idea of a group sing-a-long. fark being sad, be thankful you bastages had me at all! :D

"Amazing Grace" can be sung to various tunes; I am torn between directing the use of "the Mickey Mouse Song" or "Gilligan's Island Theme." Also, "Spirit in the Sky" by Norman Greenbaum because who doesn't want an awesome bass line as they depart. No tombstone or casket, cremation for me. Though if they could do it legally, a Viking funeral pyre on a local lake would be cool.


Definitely "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life"

But add "Ripple" in there as well, as an almost spiritual

And of course, Floyd's "Goodbye Cruel World"
 
2014-08-05 10:56:55 AM  
I am surprised none of the stoners in here want to go the "cremation/fertilizer" route and be smoked by their friends. I try to bury my deceased kitties under a bush or tree so they live on as the plant absorbs them (I did bury a cat under a dogwood).

I kind of doubt my cats will spring for a headstone; they will probably eat me instead.
 
2014-08-05 10:59:36 AM  

Johnson: [www.calebwilde.com image 604x429]


Sorry, but that's a Photoshop.  There's no way a bunch of Spaniards would get together to pay for a tombstone and only one would welsh out of it.
 
2014-08-05 11:39:06 AM  

Lee451: I am surprised none of the stoners in here want to go the "cremation/fertilizer" route and be smoked by their friends. I try to bury my deceased kitties under a bush or tree so they live on as the plant absorbs them (I did bury a cat under a dogwood).

I kind of doubt my cats will spring for a headstone; they will probably eat me instead.


You can't smoke ashes, silly.
 
2014-08-05 11:44:50 AM  

lindalouwho: Lee451: I am surprised none of the stoners in here want to go the "cremation/fertilizer" route and be smoked by their friends. I try to bury my deceased kitties under a bush or tree so they live on as the plant absorbs them (I did bury a cat under a dogwood).

I kind of doubt my cats will spring for a headstone; they will probably eat me instead.

You can't smoke ashes, silly.


I think he meant that the ashes would fertilize something smokable.
 
2014-08-05 11:45:05 AM  

Resident Muslim: What a cold sense of humor.


/I want my tombstone to say "RM was a decent person"
//I hope no one laughs at that though
///the joke is that Muslims don't (usually) have tombstones


I saw one in a local country graveyard that listed name and dates, and added, "He was pleasant to live with".
 
Displayed 50 of 65 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report