If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(News.com.au)   If you died right now, have you sufficiently prepared?   (news.com.au) divider line 27
    More: Unlikely  
•       •       •

268 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 04 Aug 2014 at 9:30 AM (11 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



27 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-08-04 08:34:04 AM  
The only preparations you need to make for death are plans to stop all metabolic processes.
 
2014-08-04 08:35:52 AM  
No, but if I knew I was going to die no matter what in about 3 minutes, I would wrap something amazingly funny in plastic and tin foil and then jam it where the sun don't shine. This way, when they found me, the autopsy people would crack up when they up cracked.
 
2014-08-04 08:43:21 AM  
My wife will be sufficiently cared for, with enough money to pay off all of our debt and more. No kids to fight over what belongings I have, she gets everything, except for a few things for my brother. So yeah, I'm as prepared as anyone really can be.
 
2014-08-04 08:52:43 AM  

MmmmBacon: My wife will be sufficiently cared for, with enough money to pay off all of our debt and more. No kids to fight over what belongings I have, she gets everything, except for a few things for my brother. So yeah, I'm as prepared as anyone really can be.


In all seriousness, I have enough insurance to pay off all the debt with a bit left over, and everything goes to the distaffbopper anyway.
 
2014-08-04 09:43:52 AM  
i49.photobucket.com

You can't see the eyes of the demon, until him come callin'.
 
2014-08-04 09:47:52 AM  
No, but that's not for trying. My wife refuses to talk about what I want when I die. She hates talking about death in general. The best I could do was write everything down and give it to a close friend. If I should die, he has instructions to give the envelope to her. The first line, "Now that I have your attention"
 
2014-08-04 09:49:49 AM  
I'd like to have an extra minute or two to delete my porn collection.  Other than that, I'm all set.
 
2014-08-04 09:54:53 AM  
Excellent insurance until I'm 60 when it's greatly reduced because by that time everything will be paid for. Still need to do a will but mamarita will get it all anyway. Specific instructions have been given to her and The boys. NO FUNERAL! Get rid of me the cheapest and easiest way and use any money that would be spent on a funeral for a BBQ and beer bust. The party ain't over just because I didn't show.
 
2014-08-04 10:24:58 AM  
Well, I AM wearing clean underwear.
 
2014-08-04 10:26:12 AM  
 
2014-08-04 10:26:55 AM  
 
2014-08-04 10:27:35 AM  
 
2014-08-04 10:56:22 AM  
My measly belongings aren't worth much of a fuss.  My Titleists and my truck are my only wholly-owned assets.  And this four year-old laptop.  And some art, which depends on your tastes.

And that's all I need ...
www.simplyseleta.com

If i's peace you find in dying, well then, let the time be near.
 
2014-08-04 10:56:58 AM  
All I ask of dyin' is to, go naturally.
 
2014-08-04 11:02:48 AM  

Dancin_In_Anson: Excellent insurance until I'm 60 when it's greatly reduced because by that time everything will be paid for. Still need to do a will but mamarita will get it all anyway. Specific instructions have been given to her and The boys. NO FUNERAL! Get rid of me the cheapest and easiest way and use any money that would be spent on a funeral for a BBQ and beer bust. The party ain't over just because I didn't show.


Sounds about right.

Take my body for a final ferry boat trip across the Mississippi in New Orleans.  Toss it in the middle of the stream.  Crack open a beer.  Commit my corpse to the river, then the gulf.

/i'll probably get snagged on the way down.
//on the mortal coil that juts out downriver
 
2014-08-04 11:08:40 AM  
I'm digging that hole in the backyard even as I type. It's not going to dig itself, you know.
 
2014-08-04 11:54:11 AM  

Marcus Aurelius: I'd like to have an extra minute or two to delete my porn collection.  Other than that, I'm all set.


I'd want to clear my browser history, too
 
2014-08-04 12:31:49 PM  
If I die there are plans that will go into motion to unleash my death machine to hunt all of you down.
 
2014-08-04 12:32:47 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: If I die there are plans that will go into motion to unleash my death machine to hunt all of you down.


But it's duck season.
 
2014-08-04 12:51:42 PM  
www.incrediblethings.com
 
2014-08-04 12:57:11 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: If I die


When.
 
2014-08-04 03:31:56 PM  

Crewmannumber6: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsMpAGO6VuU


Sneaker Pimps - 6 Underground
 
2014-08-04 03:50:12 PM  

NuttierThanEver: [www.incrediblethings.com image 570x280]


Shut up and take my money!
 
2014-08-04 07:29:49 PM  

doglover: No, but if I knew I was going to die no matter what in about 3 minutes, I would wrap something amazingly funny in plastic and tin foil and then jam it where the sun don't shine. This way, when they found me, the autopsy people would crack up when they up cracked.


Here ya' go.  They might laugh.  Or shiat themselves.  Either way, score!

http://explosm.net/comics/3539/
 
2014-08-04 07:32:28 PM  

Dancin_In_Anson: Excellent insurance until I'm 60 when it's greatly reduced because by that time everything will be paid for. Still need to do a will but mamarita will get it all anyway. Specific instructions have been given to her and The boys. NO FUNERAL! Get rid of me the cheapest and easiest way and use any money that would be spent on a funeral for a BBQ and beer bust. The party ain't over just because I didn't show.


I agree in principle, but funerals aren't for the dead.  Make sure they know it's OK to get together without the body and reminisce/grieve.

\Had to think about it recently.  Dodged a figurative bullet.  Love 'em while they got ya around.
 
2014-08-04 07:40:00 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-08-05 05:16:49 PM  

Dancin_In_Anson: Excellent insurance until I'm 60 when it's greatly reduced because by that time everything will be paid for. Still need to do a will but mamarita will get it all anyway. Specific instructions have been given to her and The boys. NO FUNERAL! Get rid of me the cheapest and easiest way and use any money that would be spent on a funeral for a BBQ and beer bust. The party ain't over just because I didn't show.


She might not get ANYTHING if you die intestate (without a will). GET A WILL, PEOPLE!!!
 
Displayed 27 of 27 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report