If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(CBS News)   Nine-year-old boy breaks away from the Central Park Zoo only to get picked up by the cops in Times Square, says it's the best day of his life. Parents still recovering from cardiac arrest   (cbsnews.com) divider line 53
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

6493 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Aug 2014 at 12:11 AM (16 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



53 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-08-03 09:24:36 PM  
"This was the greatest day of my life because this was the first day I was at the police station!"

I have a feeling he will have many more to look forward to.
 
2014-08-03 09:42:33 PM  
static.fjcdn.com
 
2014-08-03 11:06:12 PM  
This sounds a lot like my grandson.

/contemplates cardiac arrest
 
2014-08-03 11:11:37 PM  

fusillade762: I have a feeling he will have many more to look forward to


When my youngest daughter was about 3 years old we arrived down the Beach for a nice relaxing vacation.  She puked the whole way down, like she always did in the car, and was wiped out in the back seat when we arrived.  We were unpacking when my brother says, where's princess #2?

She was 2 blocks away, headed in the opposite direction as the beach, a block from the main thoroughfare.

That may be the most frightened I've ever been in my life, and that's considering I've been shot at a few times.
 
2014-08-03 11:35:07 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: fusillade762: I have a feeling he will have many more to look forward to

When my youngest daughter was about 3 years old we arrived down the Beach for a nice relaxing vacation.  She puked the whole way down, like she always did in the car, and was wiped out in the back seat when we arrived.  We were unpacking when my brother says, where's princess #2?

She was 2 blocks away, headed in the opposite direction as the beach, a block from the main thoroughfare.

That may be the most frightened I've ever been in my life, and that's considering I've been shot at a few times.


I have a child like that.
Just texted me for advice and did the opposite.
 
2014-08-03 11:45:21 PM  

JoieD'Zen: Marcus Aurelius: fusillade762: I have a feeling he will have many more to look forward to

When my youngest daughter was about 3 years old we arrived down the Beach for a nice relaxing vacation.  She puked the whole way down, like she always did in the car, and was wiped out in the back seat when we arrived.  We were unpacking when my brother says, where's princess #2?

She was 2 blocks away, headed in the opposite direction as the beach, a block from the main thoroughfare.

That may be the most frightened I've ever been in my life, and that's considering I've been shot at a few times.

I have a child like that.
Just texted me for advice and did the opposite.


If they're old enough to text, and they're still texting you for advice, then I bow at your feet, for you have accomplished something that I have ever failed to accomplish.
 
2014-08-03 11:46:13 PM  
And when I said "ever", I mean "never".

/but then i am dad
 
2014-08-04 12:13:48 AM  

Marcus Aurelius: fusillade762: I have a feeling he will have many more to look forward to

When my youngest daughter was about 3 years old we arrived down the Beach for a nice relaxing vacation.  She puked the whole way down, like she always did in the car, and was wiped out in the back seat when we arrived.  We were unpacking when my brother says, where's princess #2?

She was 2 blocks away, headed in the opposite direction as the beach, a block from the main thoroughfare.

That may be the most frightened I've ever been in my life, and that's considering I've been shot at a few times.


You're lucky you're not in prison, these days.
 
2014-08-04 12:14:34 AM  
cdn3.whatculture.com

/Obscure?
 
2014-08-04 12:16:07 AM  

fusillade762: "This was the greatest day of my life because this was the first day I was at the police station!"

I have a feeling he will have many more to look forward to.


My sister-in-law apparently came home from kindergarten one day and proudly exclaimed "Guess what?! Today I got to sit in the Time Out Chair!"

Knowing her as an adult, this did not surprise me in the least.
 
2014-08-04 12:18:42 AM  

Marcus Aurelius: fusillade762: I have a feeling he will have many more to look forward to

When my youngest daughter was about 3 years old we arrived down the Beach for a nice relaxing vacation.  She puked the whole way down, like she always did in the car, and was wiped out in the back seat when we arrived.  We were unpacking when my brother says, where's princess #2?

She was 2 blocks away, headed in the opposite direction as the beach, a block from the main thoroughfare.

That may be the most frightened I've ever been in my life, and that's considering I've been shot at a few times.


My (two years old at the time) son has no fear of being alone in public. My wife was sick of telling him over and over to stay in the play area at the mall, and decided she'd teach him a lesson the next time he wandered out of the enclosed space. She followed him discreetly all the way across the mall, waiting for him to have a moment of clarity and freak out. Instead he just beelined it for the first toy store he saw on his wanderings and she had to reveal herself to prevent him from shoplifting.
 
2014-08-04 12:19:10 AM  

fusillade762: "This was the greatest day of my life because this was the first day I was at the police station!"

I have a feeling he will have many more to look forward to.


img.fark.net
 
2014-08-04 12:19:31 AM  
Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?
 
2014-08-04 12:20:49 AM  
I thought the zoo had tranquilizer guns to prevent this from happening...
 
2014-08-04 12:26:45 AM  
One day he will be Sausage King of Chicago.
 
2014-08-04 12:40:54 AM  
Google maps says you take seventh avenue to get to Times Square from Central Park Zoo and Paul Simon says:

Just a come-on from the whores On Seventh Avenue
I do declare,
There were times when I was so lonesome
I took some comfort there.

So maybe the kid is precocious and he did have the greatest day of his life.
 
2014-08-04 12:42:53 AM  
My sister-in-law lost my three year old son at the Flamingo Las Vegas.  She didn't even realize it until they'd been separated for about five minutes.  She was watching the kids and herding them up to our suite and when she got there I asked her where mine was.  Panicked searching of the grounds ensued, complete with hysteria and giving descriptions to security of what he was wearing when last seen.  You don't ever want to do this.

Long story short: a lobby worker--the ones who hawk show tickets--saw him wandering the lobby aimlessly and grabbed him and sat him down until we showed up.  My kid seemed unfazed, didn't know what the fuss was about.  Sister in law got physically ill from it.  Me, I wept first from terror, then relief.

I wouldn't wish those twenty minutes on ANYONE, and I'm not exaggerating.
 
2014-08-04 12:42:56 AM  

Lord Dimwit: fusillade762: "This was the greatest day of my life because this was the first day I was at the police station!"

I have a feeling he will have many more to look forward to.

My sister-in-law apparently came home from kindergarten one day and proudly exclaimed "Guess what?! Today I got to sit in the Time Out Chair!"

Knowing her as an adult, this did not surprise me in the least.


Back in high school and college I was a pool lifeguard for the city of LA. It was pretty standard to have a time-out bench for rule breakers, and we had them at every pool.

However, at one facility I worked at the pool manager had the bright idea of creating a mock "jail", and he made this fake wall out of plywood with window openings cut out and fake bars over them. This idea lasted about a week before he had to take it down. The kids thought the "jail" was too cool, and it became a cool thing to get sent there with your friends.

Sometimes we'd have more kids in jail acting like wannabe gangstas than we'd have in the pool.
 
2014-08-04 12:52:41 AM  

slotz: My sister-in-law lost my three year old son at the Flamingo Las Vegas.  She didn't even realize it until they'd been separated for about five minutes.  She was watching the kids and herding them up to our suite and when she got there I asked her where mine was.  Panicked searching of the grounds ensued, complete with hysteria and giving descriptions to security of what he was wearing when last seen.  You don't ever want to do this.

Long story short: a lobby worker--the ones who hawk show tickets--saw him wandering the lobby aimlessly and grabbed him and sat him down until we showed up.  My kid seemed unfazed, didn't know what the fuss was about.  Sister in law got physically ill from it.  Me, I wept first from terror, then relief.

I wouldn't wish those twenty minutes on ANYONE, and I'm not exaggerating.


I did that to my father, and as a teenager no less. He and I had gone up to the local college campus to do something (he was working on his master's degree at the time). I went to the computer lab to play around on the nascent internet on a VT220 connected to a VAX with the understanding that I'd meet him in front of some specific office in the administration building at some specific time. I got there early and was reading my book, but I had gotten my office numbers mixed up and was actually one floor up from where I should've been. I read my book for an hour before finally deciding that if he was going to be that late in meeting me I'd go try and find him. As soon as I stepped out of the building a campus police officer saw me and immediately took me to my father at the campus PD, where I found him weeping. I felt awful.
 
2014-08-04 12:53:07 AM  

fusillade762: "This was the greatest day of my life because this was the first day I was at the police station!"

I have a feeling he will have many more to look forward to.


Really? You suck at being a human being.

A nine year old thrilled to be at the police station is probably going to be a productive member of society, because he or she thinks police are cool.
 
2014-08-04 01:03:20 AM  
This was the greatest day of his life because he managed to go through this experience and feel like he was in a safe environment throughout.  Naiveté  will do that to you.  Make you feel like a party in Sierra Leone.  That bubble will pop.
 
2014-08-04 01:06:33 AM  

Lord Dimwit: Marcus Aurelius: fusillade762: I have a feeling he will have many more to look forward to

When my youngest daughter was about 3 years old we arrived down the Beach for a nice relaxing vacation.  She puked the whole way down, like she always did in the car, and was wiped out in the back seat when we arrived.  We were unpacking when my brother says, where's princess #2?

She was 2 blocks away, headed in the opposite direction as the beach, a block from the main thoroughfare.

That may be the most frightened I've ever been in my life, and that's considering I've been shot at a few times.

My (two years old at the time) son has no fear of being alone in public. My wife was sick of telling him over and over to stay in the play area at the mall, and decided she'd teach him a lesson the next time he wandered out of the enclosed space. She followed him discreetly all the way across the mall, waiting for him to have a moment of clarity and freak out. Instead he just beelined it for the first toy store he saw on his wanderings and she had to reveal herself to prevent him from shoplifting.


I also want to clarify - my wife hadn't left him alone in the play area. She was sitting on the benches that lined the outside wall of the area and was watching him the whole time. He just kept trying to run out of the enclosed area (no gate, just a break in the wall.
 
2014-08-04 01:14:31 AM  

fusillade762: "This was the greatest day of my life because this was the first day I was at the police station!"

I have a feeling he will have many more to look forward to.


Probably not. He seems to have loving, caring parents.
 
2014-08-04 01:17:51 AM  

trappedspirit: This was the greatest day of his life because he managed to go through this experience and feel like he was in a safe environment throughout.  Naiveté  will do that to you.  Make you feel like a party in Sierra Leone.  That bubble will pop.


I've never heard that Sierra Leone analogy, but it's got a nice ring to it.
 
2014-08-04 01:38:43 AM  
When my younger sister was about two she had this little red tricycle that had been dinged up by the neighbor's car (she'd left it in his parking space) and had a loud squeaky wheel as a result. Rather than oil the wheel, my mom left it squeaky because she liked being able to hear the scree scree scree and know where in the apartment complex my sister was.

Now, keep in mind that this was the late 60's; kids played outside in those days without helicopter parents hovering over them. My mom could hang laundry out to dry, knowing my sister was right behind her tooling along on her tricycle with the telltale scree scree scree.

But this one day my mom was doing the laundry, talking over the fence with one of the neighbors, and she could hear my sister's tricycle, but it sounded too far away and in the wrong direction. She followed the sound, worried, because my sister was not where she was supposed to be; the sound was coming from the neighboring apartment building.

By this time my mom and the neighbor are both shouting my sister's name, frantic, calling for her to no avail. Soon, they are in the middle of the neighboring apartment complex and can hear the squeaky wheel echoing off the walls, but absolutely no sign of the little girl.

Now my mom is frantic. She can't see my sister anywhere. But she can hear the scree scree scree echoing high off the walls. It takes a minute, but she and the neighbor finally see the mynah bird in a cage on a balcony, gleefully screaming out scree scree scree in imitation of the squeaky wheel it had been hearing for months.

My mom returned to the apartment and found my sister asleep under the coffee table in the living room, right where she was supposed to be.
 
2014-08-04 02:10:58 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: When my younger sister was about two she had this little red tricycle that had been dinged up by the neighbor's car (she'd left it in his parking space) and had a loud squeaky wheel as a result. Rather than oil the wheel, my mom left it squeaky because she liked being able to hear the scree scree scree and know where in the apartment complex my sister was.

Now, keep in mind that this was the late 60's; kids played outside in those days without helicopter parents hovering over them. My mom could hang laundry out to dry, knowing my sister was right behind her tooling along on her tricycle with the telltale scree scree scree.

But this one day my mom was doing the laundry, talking over the fence with one of the neighbors, and she could hear my sister's tricycle, but it sounded too far away and in the wrong direction. She followed the sound, worried, because my sister was not where she was supposed to be; the sound was coming from the neighboring apartment building.

By this time my mom and the neighbor are both shouting my sister's name, frantic, calling for her to no avail. Soon, they are in the middle of the neighboring apartment complex and can hear the squeaky wheel echoing off the walls, but absolutely no sign of the little girl.

Now my mom is frantic. She can't see my sister anywhere. But she can hear the scree scree scree echoing high off the walls. It takes a minute, but she and the neighbor finally see the mynah bird in a cage on a balcony, gleefully screaming out scree scree scree in imitation of the squeaky wheel it had been hearing for months.

My mom returned to the apartment and found my sister asleep under the coffee table in the living room, right where she was supposed to be.


Did the "chicken" you had for dinner that night taste a bit off?
 
2014-08-04 02:35:10 AM  
I can here to make fun of the parents in the article and made the mistake of skimming the Fark comments ...WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

This is what losing a child is like. Frankly, is I had been the child's parent I would have waited until he got good and scared on the streets of New York at night to talk to an adult and waited for the police to call me.
 
2014-08-04 03:59:51 AM  
Yeah right. Those parents were probably glad to have a moment of reprieve while that lil shiat was gone.
 
2014-08-04 04:25:50 AM  

Marcus Aurelius: JoieD'Zen: Marcus Aurelius: fusillade762: I have a feeling he will have many more to look forward to

When my youngest daughter was about 3 years old we arrived down the Beach for a nice relaxing vacation.  She puked the whole way down, like she always did in the car, and was wiped out in the back seat when we arrived.  We were unpacking when my brother says, where's princess #2?

She was 2 blocks away, headed in the opposite direction as the beach, a block from the main thoroughfare.

That may be the most frightened I've ever been in my life, and that's considering I've been shot at a few times.

I have a child like that.
Just texted me for advice and did the opposite.

If they're old enough to text, and they're still texting you for advice, then I bow at your feet, for you have accomplished something that I have ever failed to accomplish.


Mine are in their thirties now and still texy me for advice. Only now they're smart enough to follow my wisdom.
 
2014-08-04 04:27:41 AM  

acad1228: Marcus Aurelius: JoieD'Zen: Marcus Aurelius: fusillade762: I have a feeling he will have many more to look forward to

When my youngest daughter was about 3 years old we arrived down the Beach for a nice relaxing vacation.  She puked the whole way down, like she always did in the car, and was wiped out in the back seat when we arrived.  We were unpacking when my brother says, where's princess #2?

She was 2 blocks away, headed in the opposite direction as the beach, a block from the main thoroughfare.

That may be the most frightened I've ever been in my life, and that's considering I've been shot at a few times.

I have a child like that.
Just texted me for advice and did the opposite.

If they're old enough to text, and they're still texting you for advice, then I bow at your feet, for you have accomplished something that I have ever failed to accomplish.

Mine are in their thirties now and still texy me for advice. Only now they're smart enough to follow my wisdom.


Text, I mean. I shouldn't post on Soma and allergy pills.
 
2014-08-04 04:33:32 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: When my younger sister was about two she had this little red tricycle that had been dinged up by the neighbor's car (she'd left it in his parking space) and had a loud squeaky wheel as a result. Rather than oil the wheel, my mom left it squeaky because she liked being able to hear the scree scree scree and know where in the apartment complex my sister was.

Now, keep in mind that this was the late 60's; kids played outside in those days without helicopter parents hovering over them. My mom could hang laundry out to dry, knowing my sister was right behind her tooling along on her tricycle with the telltale scree scree scree.

But this one day my mom was doing the laundry, talking over the fence with one of the neighbors, and she could hear my sister's tricycle, but it sounded too far away and in the wrong direction. She followed the sound, worried, because my sister was not where she was supposed to be; the sound was coming from the neighboring apartment building.

By this time my mom and the neighbor are both shouting my sister's name, frantic, calling for her to no avail. Soon, they are in the middle of the neighboring apartment complex and can hear the squeaky wheel echoing off the walls, but absolutely no sign of the little girl.

Now my mom is frantic. She can't see my sister anywhere. But she can hear the scree scree scree echoing high off the walls. It takes a minute, but she and the neighbor finally see the mynah bird in a cage on a balcony, gleefully screaming out scree scree scree in imitation of the squeaky wheel it had been hearing for months.

My mom returned to the apartment and found my sister asleep under the coffee table in the living room, right where she was supposed to be.


Okay, now that was a cool story.
 
2014-08-04 04:36:21 AM  
He didn't get picked up at Times Square, he wandered around until he got bored and turned himself into a police station. Too bad, kid; few more blocks and you could have made it to Penn Station, walked under a turnstile, and really raised a ruckus.
 
2014-08-04 04:42:48 AM  

Lord Dimwit: My (two years old at the time) son has no fear of being alone in public. My wife was sick of telling him over and over to stay in the play area at the mall, and decided she'd teach him a lesson the next time he wandered out of the enclosed space. She followed him discreetly all the way across the mall, waiting for him to have a moment of clarity and freak out. Instead he just beelined it for the first toy store he saw on his wanderings and she had to reveal herself to prevent him from shoplifting.


You just have to accept that some people are born to explore and have little fear of the unknown. It's pointless to try to force it into them, just teach basic safety & eagle scout preparation, and let them make their way in the world. I lost track of how many times I'd arrive somewhere and shock everyone by telling them I missed the bus and walked, or got bored and wandered off until I found something cool. I think I was born with a map and compass in my head, though.

/And a Nintendo controller in my hand.
//Still loathe GPS.
 
2014-08-04 06:42:16 AM  
Impossible.

There is no way that a kid that age was alone in NYC for two hours and didn't get molested, sold into sex slavery, become a drug mule, suffer a horrible accident, catch MRSA/Ebola, join a gang, or get pressed into working for a sweatshop.  At least that's what the news tells me.  Hell, the news tells us that all these risks exists in Smalltown, USA much less NYC.

I call shenanigans.
 
2014-08-04 07:58:06 AM  

Marcus Aurelius: fusillade762: I have a feeling he will have many more to look forward to

When my youngest daughter was about 3 years old we arrived down the Beach for a nice relaxing vacation.  She puked the whole way down, like she always did in the car, and was wiped out in the back seat when we arrived.  We were unpacking when my brother says, where's princess #2?

She was 2 blocks away, headed in the opposite direction as the beach, a block from the main thoroughfare.

That may be the most frightened I've ever been in my life, and that's considering I've been shot at a few times.


Try raising a child with autism who has elopement issues. We eventually got a service dog to tether him to in order to slow him down and keep him within arms reach. The real trouble began when he got bigger than the dog and learned to unlock the doors to the house.

Lifetime fear for us. I'm not sure how I haven't died of a heart attack.
 
2014-08-04 08:20:51 AM  

The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight: [cdn3.whatculture.com image 600x300]

/Obscure?


Nope...you just beat me to it.
 
2014-08-04 08:41:33 AM  
My youngest daughter (3 at the time, 17 now) woke up early one October morning, put on a bathing suit, unlocked the door and went outside to play while her father and I were sleeping. Neighbours called cps on us. Nosy bastards could have just woken us and returned her, but nooooo....
 
2014-08-04 08:43:46 AM  
...Semi-CSS:  In September of '89 we were in the process of moving from Langley AFB in Hampton VA to a new assignment in Cleveland, OH.  A friend of ours offered to watch our son while the movers were there (to keep the little one out from underfoot) and the movers packed our stuff.  Unfortunately, she suffered from migraines, came down with one, and accidentally overmedicated herself - knocked herself right out for a few hours.  At this point, our son and hers (both 3 at the time) got it into their heads that we had moved to Cleveland and left them behind.  They knew from watching Sesame Street that you took a bus to go places, so they grabbed their respective diaper bags and the friend's dog (big friendly and protective German Shepherd) and headed for the local bus stop - about 150 yards away and across a street.
    The cops get a call from a little old lady saying "there's two little white boys at the bus stop" and go to check it out.  They get there and the dog refuses to let anybody near the boys (animal control had to come get him) and they take the kids to the nearest Virginia DSS office.  Fortunately, we had contact information inside the diaper bag and everything got sorted out fairly quickly.  But it was a VERY long couple hours between our friend calling us and asking us if we had the boys, and getting everybody home.  Funny now, but damned scary then.

/BTW, I bailed out the dog and you can bet your backside he got steak
 
2014-08-04 09:28:26 AM  
Good stories, all. Thanks.
 
2014-08-04 09:30:12 AM  

AtlanticCoast63: They get there and the dog refuses to let anybody near the boys (animal control had to come get him)

Nowadays the cops would have just shot the dog.
 
2014-08-04 09:30:34 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: When my younger sister was about two she had this little red tricycle that had been dinged up by the neighbor's car (she'd left it in his parking space) and had a loud squeaky wheel as a result. Rather than oil the wheel, my mom left it squeaky because she liked being able to hear the scree scree scree and know where in the apartment complex my sister was.

Now, keep in mind that this was the late 60's; kids played outside in those days without helicopter parents hovering over them. My mom could hang laundry out to dry, knowing my sister was right behind her tooling along on her tricycle with the telltale scree scree scree.

But this one day my mom was doing the laundry, talking over the fence with one of the neighbors, and she could hear my sister's tricycle, but it sounded too far away and in the wrong direction. She followed the sound, worried, because my sister was not where she was supposed to be; the sound was coming from the neighboring apartment building.

By this time my mom and the neighbor are both shouting my sister's name, frantic, calling for her to no avail. Soon, they are in the middle of the neighboring apartment complex and can hear the squeaky wheel echoing off the walls, but absolutely no sign of the little girl.

Now my mom is frantic. She can't see my sister anywhere. But she can hear the scree scree scree echoing high off the walls. It takes a minute, but she and the neighbor finally see the mynah bird in a cage on a balcony, gleefully screaming out scree scree scree in imitation of the squeaky wheel it had been hearing for months.

My mom returned to the apartment and found my sister asleep under the coffee table in the living room, right where she was supposed to be.


Lol "under the coffee table sleeping, where she was supposed to be"?
Was that where her naps were designated? Lol.

I used to go off alone when I was a tot. Mom and dad would panic as expected. After a few times of panicked searches dad figured out where to look first. Dad was a musician and I'd go to his music room and crawl into his bass guitar case for a nap.
 
2014-08-04 09:44:01 AM  
Chris Villavicencio (vee-yah-vee-SEHN'-see-oh)

since when do they tell you how to pronounce people's last names in news articles?
 
2014-08-04 09:50:31 AM  
I was never the adventurous type as a kid, but one day when I was in elementary school (maybe second grade?) my mom told me she might be a few minutes late picking me after school to take me to gymnastics, and I should wait for her.

Well, as it happens a friend was going to gymnastics at the same place, and afraid I was going to be late, I just decided to get a ride with her and her mom.

Anyway, about halfway through the class, my dad suddenly appears in the doorway, and I get my little butt hauled home for a severe talking-to.

To this day they say it was one of the times they were most terrified. It's also one of the few times I disobeyed instructions.
 
2014-08-04 10:07:51 AM  

fusillade762: "This was the greatest day of my life because this was the first day I was at the police station!"

I have a feeling he will have many more to look forward to.


Either that or he will become a policeman. Actually, my guess is that he will become an explorer of some kind and discover unknown species of animals in some jungle. His mild autism gives him a lack of fear which could do well for him in the future if channeled correctly.
 
2014-08-04 10:34:58 AM  

SlothB77: Chris Villavicencio (vee-yah-vee-SEHN'-see-oh)

since when do they tell you how to pronounce people's last names in news articles?


Probably makes it easier for TV and radio stations that will get their inevitable "one last item" from the internet.
 
2014-08-04 10:49:24 AM  

AngryDragon: Impossible.

There is no way that a kid that age was alone in NYC for two hours and didn't get molested, sold into sex slavery, become a drug mule, suffer a horrible accident, catch MRSA/Ebola, join a gang, or get pressed into working for a sweatshop.  At least that's what the news tells me.  Hell, the news tells us that all these risks exists in Smalltown, USA much less NYC.

I call shenanigans.


Only way this could have worked, according to some farkers, if if he was open carrying his 'long guns' in the minority-infested haven of the Big Apple.
 
2014-08-04 11:39:00 AM  

OscarTamerz: Google maps says you take seventh avenue to get to Times Square from Central Park Zoo and Paul Simon says:

Just a come-on from the whores On Seventh Avenue
I do declare,
There were times when I was so lonesome
I took some comfort there.

So maybe the kid is precocious and he did have the greatest day of his life.


7th Avenue is very different from when Paul Simon was singing about it. Think Main Street USA at Disneyworld. Seriously, the odds of a kid getting in trouble between Central Park and Times Square in broad daylight, other than being run over by a delivery van or taxi, are infinitessimal.

/The Port Authority bus terminal is slightly dodgier, but the kid's from Jersey so should fit right in.
 
2014-08-04 11:44:38 AM  
All the way from the Zoo to times Square? That kind of a long walk
 
2014-08-04 01:07:34 PM  
At about 10 years old I broke away from the class at the Philly Art Museum with a friend and we went to his grandma's shop where she made us veal parm hoagies. We were in big trouble when we got back, but it was one of the best sandwiches I've ever tasted.
 
2014-08-04 01:21:43 PM  

The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight: [cdn3.whatculture.com image 600x300]

/Obscure?


no, not at all actually
 
Displayed 50 of 53 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report