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(Deadline)   Transformers 4: Dinosaurs, Explosions, and Decepticons has passed the $1 billion mark at the global box office, ensuring Michael Bay will continue to terrorize audiences for years to come   (deadline.com ) divider line
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464 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 03 Aug 2014 at 7:56 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-08-03 04:27:57 PM  
I haven't seen it.
 
2014-08-03 07:01:22 PM  

BalugaJoe: I haven't seen it.


did you like any of the other 3 movies? then do not see this one.
WTF

almost fell asleep
 
2014-08-03 07:44:24 PM  
This is why we can't have nice things.

/going to see GotG tomorrow, so maybe we do get nice things?
 
2014-08-03 07:58:47 PM  

BalugaJoe: I haven't seen it.


Did you hate any of the three previous ones?

Ignore them. This one was quite a bit better.
 
2014-08-03 08:07:45 PM  
Fark you I liked it.
/Seen it for free thanks to Marlboro
//How the fark do Marlboro know my birthday and keep send me coupons and free shiat.
 
2014-08-03 08:13:10 PM  

drjekel_mrhyde: Fark you I liked it.
/Seen it for free thanks to Marlboro
//How the fark do Marlboro know my birthday and keep send me coupons and free shiat.


Ever get free cig shiat at a club or event where they scanned your ID to give it to you?
 
2014-08-03 08:14:40 PM  

enry: This is why we can't have nice things.


I'm sure that 40 years ago, people were saying the exact same thing about the Airport/Poseidon Adventure/Towering Inferno flicks.
Then, 20 years ago, people were saying the same thing about the wave of "Die Hard on a ____" movies.

The Transformers flicks are just the latest entry in the longstanding genre of dumbass popcorn disaster porn. While they're not everyone's cup of tea, as long as people pay to see it, they have their place.

Haven't seen the new one or Dark of the Moon because I hated the first two. Shia is about as convincing as an action hero as the guys on Big Bang Theory, his parents were like nails on a chalkboard, Bay can't seem to create a black supporting character without it devolving into a racial stereotype, and John Turturro's performance was just sad. (I'm guessing those Coen Brothers/Spike Lee movies he was in didn't pay very well.)

It's not a series I enjoy, but it's hardly some harbinger of a cultural decline, like lots of people pretend it is.
 
2014-08-03 08:18:13 PM  
*scans headline*

*closes eyes*

cdn.superbwallpapers.com
 
2014-08-03 08:20:40 PM  

stoli n coke: Haven't seen the new one or Dark of the Moon because I hated the first two. Shia is about as convincing as an action hero as the guys on Big Bang Theory,


Haven't seen any of them and I know Shia is NOT in the new one.
 
2014-08-03 08:21:15 PM  
To be fair, as the first Witwicky-free Transformers film, I'm actually okay with it succeeding, even with the obligatory stupidity the franchise entails.

That, and it was always going to do gangbusters thanks to all the China pandering.

/Bay knows his reputation, and he also knows the Asian market does not care
//curious to see if Turtles has the same pattern in the overseas market, or if there's China kow-towing
 
2014-08-03 08:29:30 PM  

Strolpol: To be fair, as the first Witwicky-free Transformers film, I'm actually okay with it succeeding, even with the obligatory stupidity the franchise entails.

That, and it was always going to do gangbusters thanks to all the China pandering.

/Bay knows his reputation, and he also knows the Asian market does not care
//curious to see if Turtles has the same pattern in the overseas market, or if there's China kow-towing


Yes, because marketing your product to a billion people is "kowtowing" and not just good business sense.
 
2014-08-03 08:36:53 PM  
It wasn't terrible, but it could have been half as long and nobody would have noticed.
 
2014-08-03 08:47:19 PM  

zimbach: drjekel_mrhyde: Fark you I liked it.
/Seen it for free thanks to Marlboro
//How the fark do Marlboro know my birthday and keep send me coupons and free shiat.

Ever get free cig shiat at a club or event where they scanned your ID to give it to you?


Yeap. years ago
 
2014-08-03 08:53:30 PM  
Fark you, haters.
Your cartoon had a robot turn into a human thanks to a magical lake, so either sit in your nerd hate juice and fume or just go and see up.
Geez.
 
2014-08-03 08:58:29 PM  
If people want to watch it, who cares?  It's critically panned hard enough that we're not going to be stuck with everyone imitating it, beyond trying to turn random kid's toys from the 80s into franchises, which they're doing already.  So no skin off our noses if he keeps making 'em.
 
2014-08-03 09:00:58 PM  
I'll watch it. When it comes out on blu-Ray.
 
2014-08-03 09:01:27 PM  

B.L.Z. Bub: Strolpol: To be fair, as the first Witwicky-free Transformers film, I'm actually okay with it succeeding, even with the obligatory stupidity the franchise entails.

That, and it was always going to do gangbusters thanks to all the China pandering.

/Bay knows his reputation, and he also knows the Asian market does not care
//curious to see if Turtles has the same pattern in the overseas market, or if there's China kow-towing

Yes, because marketing your product to a billion people is "kowtowing" and not just good business sense.


I'm sure the US government being the bad guys and Chinese product and celebrity placement was necessary for the plot.

/just because it's profitable doesn't make it something we should support, especially sucking the dangling bits of a totalitarian state with terrible human rights
 
2014-08-03 09:03:37 PM  
Crazy thing is, if Paramount had the balls to actually step in and make Bay trim 30 minutes off the absurdly long run-time, theaters could have shown it once more a day and the take (theoretically) would be even higher. No reason why this had to be longer than 2 hours.
 
2014-08-03 09:16:52 PM  
Eh, the last time I went on an indie movie binge at the theaters, I saw "It's Kind of A Funny Story" and a shiatbomb called "The Freebie" that must have been saved by someone who was just short of God in the editing room.

I'd rather watch robots eff up other robots for two hours.
 
2014-08-03 09:29:12 PM  
I got dragged to this. I know people say, "well it's robots fighting each other, what did you expect?" Well I didn't expect it to be boring. Well I kind of did because I saw the first one and parts of the other ones but the point is it's a boring farking mess. I can't tell who is the good robot and who is the bad robot, I don't give a shiat about the human characters and I can't even escape to the nearby liquor store because I'm with my niece. And she felt the same way so it's not entirely because I'm old.
 
2014-08-03 09:39:20 PM  

Strolpol: B.L.Z. Bub: Strolpol: To be fair, as the first Witwicky-free Transformers film, I'm actually okay with it succeeding, even with the obligatory stupidity the franchise entails.

That, and it was always going to do gangbusters thanks to all the China pandering.

/Bay knows his reputation, and he also knows the Asian market does not care
//curious to see if Turtles has the same pattern in the overseas market, or if there's China kow-towing

Yes, because marketing your product to a billion people is "kowtowing" and not just good business sense.

I'm sure the US government being the bad guys and Chinese product and celebrity placement was necessary for the plot.

/just because it's profitable doesn't make it something we should support, especially sucking the dangling bits of a totalitarian state with terrible human rights


Eh, since when was making the U.S. government to be the bad guys a new thing in movies, or for that matter considered a bad thing on this website? And how is having Chinese celebrity and product placement sucking off the government of China? Do we suck off our own government and give tacit approval to the bad things it does just by having American celebrities and products? Should we stop featuring all things American in our media because our government does bad things? I'm not saying the U.S. government is as bad, but on the other hand the Chinese government is not as bad as other governments (they're not North Korea, for example). That doesn't make them good, but there are a lot of countries that would be denounced for the same things you mention on the same scale if only they were as big a target. Most of the world fails to live up to Western standards, but what are you going to do if you're selling on an international level, refuse to sell to such places until they change to fit your demands? Good luck with that. You'd just be martyring yourself while everyone else continues to make money.

tl;dr: If the Chinese people want your business, why is it a moral crime to sell to them (as long as you're not condoning the behavior of their government)?
 
2014-08-03 09:40:45 PM  
Meanwhile the Fark pundits say that Pacific Rim was a horrible film and you should feel bad for liking it.


/at least PR was entertaining
 
2014-08-03 09:58:11 PM  
i1182.photobucket.com
 
2014-08-03 10:01:03 PM  

stoli n coke: The Transformers flicks are just the latest entry in the longstanding genre of dumbass popcorn disaster porn.


Why do people insist on calling movies ______ porn? It isn't funny, or clever, and it doesn't make you look smart for saying it.
 
2014-08-03 10:04:06 PM  

Pokey.Clyde: stoli n coke: The Transformers flicks are just the latest entry in the longstanding genre of dumbass popcorn disaster porn.

Why do people insist on calling movies ______ porn? It isn't funny, or clever, and it doesn't make you look smart for saying it.


It offers no artistic value besides stimulation, thus, it meets the definition of porn.

That enough, Captain Pedantic?
 
2014-08-03 10:17:57 PM  

Pokey.Clyde: stoli n coke: The Transformers flicks are just the latest entry in the longstanding genre of dumbass popcorn disaster porn.

Why do people insist on calling movies ______ porn? It isn't funny, or clever, and it doesn't make you look smart for saying it.


Never go to TV Tropes then, you'll loose your mind.
 
2014-08-03 10:28:09 PM  

stoli n coke: enry: This is why we can't have nice things.

I'm sure that 40 years ago, people were saying the exact same thing about the Airport/Poseidon Adventure/Towering Inferno flicks.
Then, 20 years ago, people were saying the same thing about the wave of "Die Hard on a ____" movies.

The Transformers flicks are just the latest entry in the longstanding genre of dumbass popcorn disaster porn. While they're not everyone's cup of tea, as long as people pay to see it, they have their place.

Haven't seen the new one or Dark of the Moon because I hated the first two. Shia is about as convincing as an action hero as the guys on Big Bang Theory, his parents were like nails on a chalkboard, Bay can't seem to create a black supporting character without it devolving into a racial stereotype, and John Turturro's performance was just sad. (I'm guessing those Coen Brothers/Spike Lee movies he was in didn't pay very well.)

It's not a series I enjoy, but it's hardly some harbinger of a cultural decline, like lots of people pretend it is.


Perhaps, but you cannot say that Lethal Weapon, Start Wars or Die Hard (1), are just inherently better movies.
 
2014-08-03 10:34:26 PM  

B.L.Z. Bub: Strolpol: B.L.Z. Bub: Strolpol: To be fair, as the first Witwicky-free Transformers film, I'm actually okay with it succeeding, even with the obligatory stupidity the franchise entails.

That, and it was always going to do gangbusters thanks to all the China pandering.

/Bay knows his reputation, and he also knows the Asian market does not care
//curious to see if Turtles has the same pattern in the overseas market, or if there's China kow-towing

Yes, because marketing your product to a billion people is "kowtowing" and not just good business sense.

I'm sure the US government being the bad guys and Chinese product and celebrity placement was necessary for the plot.

/just because it's profitable doesn't make it something we should support, especially sucking the dangling bits of a totalitarian state with terrible human rights

Eh, since when was making the U.S. government to be the bad guys a new thing in movies, or for that matter considered a bad thing on this website? And how is having Chinese celebrity and product placement sucking off the government of China? Do we suck off our own government and give tacit approval to the bad things it does just by having American celebrities and products? Should we stop featuring all things American in our media because our government does bad things? I'm not saying the U.S. government is as bad, but on the other hand the Chinese government is not as bad as other governments (they're not North Korea, for example). That doesn't make them good, but there are a lot of countries that would be denounced for the same things you mention on the same scale if only they were as big a target. Most of the world fails to live up to Western standards, but what are you going to do if you're selling on an international level, refuse to sell to such places until they change to fit your demands? Good luck with that. You'd just be martyring yourself while everyone else continues to make money.

tl;dr: If the Chinese people want your business, ...


I have a problem with it when the movies are made with government assistance, like sweetheart leases for military equipment and tax breaks for the production.

Nemo's Brother: stoli n coke: enry: This is why we can't have nice things.

I'm sure that 40 years ago, people were saying the exact same thing about the Airport/Poseidon Adventure/Towering Inferno flicks.
Then, 20 years ago, people were saying the same thing about the wave of "Die Hard on a ____" movies.

The Transformers flicks are just the latest entry in the longstanding genre of dumbass popcorn disaster porn. While they're not everyone's cup of tea, as long as people pay to see it, they have their place.

Haven't seen the new one or Dark of the Moon because I hated the first two. Shia is about as convincing as an action hero as the guys on Big Bang Theory, his parents were like nails on a chalkboard, Bay can't seem to create a black supporting character without it devolving into a racial stereotype, and John Turturro's performance was just sad. (I'm guessing those Coen Brothers/Spike Lee movies he was in didn't pay very well.)

It's not a series I enjoy, but it's hardly some harbinger of a cultural decline, like lots of people pretend it is.

Perhaps, but you cannot say that Lethal Weapon, Start Wars or Die Hard (1), are just inherently better movies.


Yes, yes I can. They have clearly laid out stories told in a narrative sense and characters that you can actually discern between when they're in action scenes.
 
2014-08-03 10:37:24 PM  

Nemo's Brother: stoli n coke: enry: This is why we can't have nice things.

I'm sure that 40 years ago, people were saying the exact same thing about the Airport/Poseidon Adventure/Towering Inferno flicks.
Then, 20 years ago, people were saying the same thing about the wave of "Die Hard on a ____" movies.

The Transformers flicks are just the latest entry in the longstanding genre of dumbass popcorn disaster porn. While they're not everyone's cup of tea, as long as people pay to see it, they have their place.

Haven't seen the new one or Dark of the Moon because I hated the first two. Shia is about as convincing as an action hero as the guys on Big Bang Theory, his parents were like nails on a chalkboard, Bay can't seem to create a black supporting character without it devolving into a racial stereotype, and John Turturro's performance was just sad. (I'm guessing those Coen Brothers/Spike Lee movies he was in didn't pay very well.)

It's not a series I enjoy, but it's hardly some harbinger of a cultural decline, like lots of people pretend it is.

Perhaps, but you cannot say that Lethal Weapon, Start Wars or Die Hard (1), are just inherently better movies.


Yes. Yes, I can say without a doubt those 3 movies are better than any of these Michael Bay Transformers movies.
 
2014-08-03 10:39:58 PM  

Nemo's Brother: stoli n coke: enry: This is why we can't have nice things.

I'm sure that 40 years ago, people were saying the exact same thing about the Airport/Poseidon Adventure/Towering Inferno flicks.
Then, 20 years ago, people were saying the same thing about the wave of "Die Hard on a ____" movies.

The Transformers flicks are just the latest entry in the longstanding genre of dumbass popcorn disaster porn. While they're not everyone's cup of tea, as long as people pay to see it, they have their place.

Haven't seen the new one or Dark of the Moon because I hated the first two. Shia is about as convincing as an action hero as the guys on Big Bang Theory, his parents were like nails on a chalkboard, Bay can't seem to create a black supporting character without it devolving into a racial stereotype, and John Turturro's performance was just sad. (I'm guessing those Coen Brothers/Spike Lee movies he was in didn't pay very well.)

It's not a series I enjoy, but it's hardly some harbinger of a cultural decline, like lots of people pretend it is.

Perhaps, but you cannot say that Lethal Weapon, Start Wars or Die Hard (1), are just inherently better movies.


Not at all. Those movies were just as formulaic, but they perfected the formulas they used. The laundry list of imitators to those three movies are evidence enough.
 
2014-08-03 11:13:13 PM  

stoli n coke: Not at all. Those movies were just as formulaic, but they perfected the formulas they used. The laundry list of imitators to those three movies are evidence enough.


Transformers has had its imitators (even not counting the inevitable, and in this case somewhat situationally ironic, Chinese knockoffs), they just kinda mostly bombed.  GI Joe, etc.

Not that I disagree with your contention that those movies are unarguably better than Transformers, I just think that spawning imitators alone isn't really evidence of quality.  Anything that makes a lot of money spawns imitators, and making money has more to do with luck, timing, and marketing than the product itself.
 
2014-08-03 11:49:53 PM  
I actually thought it was the best of the bunch.  The only real complaint is that it went on at least half an hour longer than it needed to.  Just replacing the Beef with Marky Mark was a major upgrade.  That may be the only scenario in which Marky Mark qualifies as a major upgrade.
 
2014-08-04 03:13:42 AM  

Gleeman: Meanwhile the Fark pundits say that Pacific Rim was a horrible film and you should feel bad for liking it.


/at least PR was entertaining


They were playing it last week on Cinemax. I think I hadn't seen it, but based on their 30 second preview I lost interest before it even started, and watched a few minutes just to be sure. They also showed The Rock, which is a reminder Michael Bay was once capable of directing movies worth sitting through.
 
2014-08-04 04:48:03 AM  
It's like so good. Postmodern masterpiece. The entire third act is just one long fight scene on like 5 different fronts from giant robot vs spaceship scale to hand to hand fighting between humans. But in the midst of all this chaos, Stanley Tucci stares at the screen, tranquil for about 45 seconds, staring us down while sipping from a carton of Chinese (Shuhua) milk through a straw.
It was absurd, almost but brilliant, like in the eye of the storm of this global hysteria was pure capitalism. The film was making a commentary about itself.

/also optimus prime rode a dinosaur that was also a robot
//how can people complain about this movie? it's perfect on almost every level
 
2014-08-04 06:33:01 AM  

Nemo's Brother: Perhaps, but you cannot say that Lethal Weapon, Start Wars or Die Hard (1), are just inherently better movies.


I can.
 
2014-08-04 07:56:39 AM  

Mugato: Nemo's Brother: Perhaps, but you cannot say that Lethal Weapon, Start Wars or Die Hard (1), are just inherently better movies.

I can.


Aside from Lethal Weapon 3 which was kind of painful. I'm also not a huge fan of Die Hard 2, but I'll survive. And of course the three Star Wars movies they made are fantastic.
 
2014-08-04 10:19:47 AM  

B.L.Z. Bub: Strolpol: To be fair, as the first Witwicky-free Transformers film, I'm actually okay with it succeeding, even with the obligatory stupidity the franchise entails.

That, and it was always going to do gangbusters thanks to all the China pandering.

/Bay knows his reputation, and he also knows the Asian market does not care
//curious to see if Turtles has the same pattern in the overseas market, or if there's China kow-towing

Yes, because marketing your product to a billion people is "kowtowing" and not just good business sense.


The kowtwing comes in the form of the script concessions that filmmakers need to make in order to have access to the Chinese markets. This isn't about appealing to foreign audiences so much as it's about making sure that your script doesn't offend the sensibilities of an authoritarian government.

You can be as big of a fan of multiculturalism as you like and still find it disturbing that a dictatorship gets to have a (significant) say about the plots of Western films.
 
2014-08-04 11:42:26 AM  

Gleeman: Never go to TV Tropes then, you'll loose your mind ability to spell LOSE.


Adjusted.
 
2014-08-04 02:40:59 PM  

peterthx: Gleeman: Never go to TV Tropes then, you'll loose your mind ability to spell LOSE.

Adjusted.


I blame autocorrect
 
2014-08-04 03:42:56 PM  
Nicola Peltz is way cuter than Megan Fox.
The new sequels better have more of Optimus Prime riding Grimlock.
 
2014-08-04 06:53:38 PM  

square028: Nicola Peltz has the flattest ass on film ever.


FIFY
 
2014-08-04 07:03:41 PM  

peterthx: square028: Nicola Peltz has the flattest ass on film ever



HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER!


www.bromygod.com
 
2014-08-04 07:34:01 PM  

Apos: peterthx: square028: Nicola Peltz has the flattest ass on film ever


HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER!


[www.bromygod.com image 500x226]


Nope. Nicola's ass makes hers look like Kim Kardashian.
 
2014-08-04 08:19:37 PM  

peterthx: Apos: peterthx: square028: Nicola Peltz has the flattest ass on film ever


HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER!


[www.bromygod.com image 500x226]

Nope. Nicola's ass makes hers look like Kim Kardashian.

Damn.

A sound investment in gluteal surgery might be in order.
 
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