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(Sydney Morning Herald)   Standing room only sections on planes could result in lower fares. Most U.S. passengers immediately qualify to be reclassified as "cargo"   (smh.com.au) divider line 38
    More: Unlikely  
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772 clicks; posted to Business » on 03 Aug 2014 at 10:46 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-08-03 09:15:13 AM  
They could also study how slave ships managed to transport so many passengers so economically. After all, why reinvent the wheel.

/not serious
//why are they?
 
2014-08-03 09:33:36 AM  
I can't think of anything that would make me hate flying more.  Even having my testicles molested by the TSA can be a pleasant experience if they finish off with a quick peck on the cheek.
 
2014-08-03 09:43:25 AM  

Candygram4Mongo: //why are they?


Fuel costs are the number one operating expense of an airliner, and they are constantly looking for ways to reduce weight, increase fuel efficiency, or fit more paying passengers on a plane all other factors equal.  Or fees - Spirit Airlines earned over 30% of its revenue from fees, I think.

I also place some blame on price-based search engines.  Mom pops her flight dates into Kayak or Priceline or whatever, picks the lowest flight, then gets hit at the gate with first-checked-bag fees, carry-on fees, fees to pick a seat with more legroom, fees to board earlier, and suddenly her $159 flight is over $200.

But I wouldn't fly an airline that had seats like this.  I hate flying so much I spend most flights in pain praying for the plane to crash.
 
2014-08-03 10:10:55 AM  
So let me get this straight.  The FAA won't let stewardesses stand during takeoff & landing...but they want customers to????

\this has as much chance of happening as me pulling up the sheets & finding a naked redhead lying underneath
 
2014-08-03 10:34:14 AM  
How about they just make the lardasses pay more?

No offense to you guys.
 
2014-08-03 10:51:06 AM  

FriarReb98: So let me get this straight.  The FAA won't let stewardesses stand during takeoff & landing...but they want customers to????

\this has as much chance of happening as me pulling up the sheets & finding a naked redhead lying underneath


If the redhead is Carrot Top, how does that affect the probabilities?
 
2014-08-03 10:56:13 AM  

Bondith: FriarReb98: So let me get this straight.  The FAA won't let stewardesses stand during takeoff & landing...but they want customers to????

\this has as much chance of happening as me pulling up the sheets & finding a naked redhead lying underneath

If the redhead is Carrot Top, how does that affect the probabilities?


You know, I was already washing my sheets today.  You really didn't need to give me a reason to burn them.
 
2014-08-03 10:56:13 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: How about they just make the lardasses pay more?

No offense to you guys.


Mad Magazine covered that decades ago
 
2014-08-03 11:23:24 AM  
This article has my satire gland tingling.

This claims there is a university study, but no links.
 
2014-08-03 11:39:19 AM  

Fantasta Potamus: This article has my satire gland tingling.

This claims there is a university study, but no links.


I am beginning to think that Poe's Law should be extended to include decisions made by airlines. They can no longer be parodied...
 
2014-08-03 11:44:07 AM  
FTFA  "You can't have a seat belt without a seat," FAA spokesman Ian Gregor said.

That has got to be the stupidest thing I've heard anyone from the FAA ever say.
 
2014-08-03 11:45:54 AM  

Candygram4Mongo: Fantasta Potamus: This article has my satire gland tingling.

This claims there is a university study, but no links.

I am beginning to think that Poe's Law should be extended to include decisions made by airlines. They can no longer be parodied...


media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com
 
2014-08-03 12:07:49 PM  
Some of you may be imagining a casual lounge-type area, kind of like the bar area on the Eurostar.

Instead you should imagine an un-air-conditioned New York elevator crammed body-to-body stopping at every floor, and, oh, look, a 400-pound woman with a backpack and the delivery boy from Little Albania Place of Food are pushing their way on and, oh, sorry, the tower just asked us to circle around again
 
2014-08-03 12:10:29 PM  
But what would I use as a floation device?
 
2014-08-03 12:51:44 PM  
Please just give us anesthesia. No one wants to be awake on a plane. Literally every problem will be solved if they just knocked out every passenger before the flight.
 
2014-08-03 12:56:09 PM  
I could totally see the FAA legalizing this while cracking down on you and your little quadcopter with the GoPro.
 
2014-08-03 01:44:59 PM  

Foxxinnia: Please just give us anesthesia. No one wants to be awake on a plane. Literally every problem will be solved if they just knocked out every passenger before the flight.


Airline passengers should all be given Vicodin.

/I had to fly on Vicodin a couple of times after an operation.
//The cramped seating, fat and loud neighboring passengers, seatback reclined in my face, and screaming children in the next row didn't bother me at all.
///God I miss that miracle drug.
 
2014-08-03 02:36:27 PM  
Honestly, at this point the airlines are just trolling. Remember that article last week about the the "upright" seats packed in like sardine cans? 8/10, frankly.
 
2014-08-03 02:59:51 PM  
SMH = shaking my head
 
2014-08-03 03:22:10 PM  
TFA:  "An airline that removes seats can accommodate about 20 percent more passengers and, as a result, offer discounts of as much as 44 percent compared with airlines that offer big comfy seats"

Hhahahahaha....  I'm tiny.  They ain't big comfy seats.
 
2014-08-03 04:58:45 PM  
 
2014-08-03 05:08:51 PM  
dont like it? pay more for your seat and get more.

only looking for the cheapest airfare? sit down and shut up.

/airline economics 101
//though it might be'stand there and shut up' if this happens
 
2014-08-03 05:19:57 PM  

rvesco: Foxxinnia: Please just give us anesthesia. No one wants to be awake on a plane. Literally every problem will be solved if they just knocked out every passenger before the flight.

Airline passengers should all be given Vicodin.

/I had to fly on Vicodin a couple of times after an operation.
//The cramped seating, fat and loud neighboring passengers, seatback reclined in my face, and screaming children in the next row didn't bother me at all.
///God I miss that miracle drug.


Just once, I'd like prescription painkillers to work as well on me as they supposedly work on everyone else.  Hell, I've used stronger stuff than that, and it doesn't actually get me drunk or into whatever zone it's supposed to get everyone else into.

\hell, I literally thing I've blacked out once (other than sleeping) in my life
 
2014-08-03 05:24:09 PM  

"...could..."

 
2014-08-03 05:48:28 PM  

syrynxx: Candygram4Mongo: //why are they?

Fuel costs are the number one operating expense of an airliner, and they are constantly looking for ways to reduce weight, increase fuel efficiency, or fit more paying passengers on a plane all other factors equal.  Or fees - Spirit Airlines earned over 30% of its revenue from fees, I think.

I also place some blame on price-based search engines.  Mom pops her flight dates into Kayak or Priceline or whatever, picks the lowest flight, then gets hit at the gate with first-checked-bag fees, carry-on fees, fees to pick a seat with more legroom, fees to board earlier, and suddenly her $159 flight is over $200.

But I wouldn't fly an airline that had seats like this.  I hate flying so much I spend most flights in pain praying for the plane to crash.


Two easy ways to make flying better.
1.  Treat people like freight.  Put the person and all of their shiat on a scale and charge by the pound.  Load people onto the plane lightest to heaviest to promote traveling light.
2.  Actually enforce the carry on bag rules.  At security your carry on should have to fit in a box that then goes through the scanner.  If you bag doesn't fit, it gets checked.
 
2014-08-03 05:53:29 PM  
Airlines in Ireland and China have looked into the concept, but none have yet put the idea into practice.

farking RyanAir. The same airline that wanted to charge people to use the toilet. fark this guy and his farking airline.
 
2014-08-03 06:02:52 PM  
put me asleep...wake me when I'm there.
 
2014-08-03 07:08:17 PM  
Take a Chance on the Mrs. Grace L. Ferguson Airline and Storm Door Company

Oh, incidentally, I want to apologize for your having to stand all the way... uh... if I can give you a little tip there every oh, half hour or so, you want to alternate your arms through those straps above your head.

img.fark.net
 
2014-08-03 07:35:16 PM  
I'm starting to see practical reasons for getting my pilot's license. This is getting stupid.
 
2014-08-03 07:46:11 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: How about they just make the lardasses pay more?

No offense to you guys.


Shirley you combine the two

Those who are too big for the seats get to stand, but in the outside rows, so that in event of a hard landing, they serve as cushions for the other standing passengers

Win win as far as I can see

i61.tinypic.com
 
2014-08-03 09:24:00 PM  

Outlaw2097: dont like it? pay more for your seat and get more exactly the same seat as the cheaper fare, sucker.


I might choose a flight other than the cheapest for any number of reasons.  The cheap flight may have an unfavorable schedule.  It may go through an airport where I don't want to connect.  The airline may break guitars.

But am I supposed to pay an extra hundred bucks just on "I wish I may, I wish I might, have a comfy seat on this flight"?  Capitalism doesn't work that way and you know it.  A legally enforceable assurance of three inches of extra legroom might be worth a hundred bucks, but you don't get any assurance at all.

The only way to pay more for a seat and get more, on most flights, is to pay through the nose for a first class ticket.  There is usually nothing between first class and sardine can, and some flights don't even have first class.  Don't tell me there's no demand.  There's plenty of demand.  The airlines would rather just pocket your hundred bucks.
 
2014-08-03 09:49:13 PM  
Just because someone did a study doesn't mean it will ever happen. No way in hell the FAA or the airlines would ever consider something like this.
 
2014-08-03 09:50:54 PM  

ReapTheChaos: Just because someone did a study doesn't mean it will ever happen. No way in hell the FAA or the airlines would ever consider something like this.


Oh, the airlines will consider it.  They might even manage to bribe persuade the FAA to allow it.  What won't happen is lower fares.
 
2014-08-03 11:08:36 PM  

syrynxx: I can't think of anything that would make me hate flying more.  Even having my testicles molested by the TSA can be a pleasant experience if they finish off with a quick peck on the cheek.


Yeah, I already equate Southwest with being like a farking cattle car, this would really suck and I'd stop flying whenever possible.
 
2014-08-03 11:14:25 PM  
Lee Jackson Beauregard:

the bigger picture i was trying to convey is that air carriers have reached a point where they can only offer so much of a low cost ticket.  the plane capacity can only be increased to such a point where the efforts do not equal a profit.  united had ted.  delta had song.  both failed because they did not understand this concept the first time.

only now will the ultra llc carriers be able to scrimp and squeeze passengers out of cash to subsidize the super low ticket.  talk to anyone who has flown spirit...they either love the low cost or hate the fees and lack of leg room and vow to never fly them again (i fall into the latter.)

airlines are a service industry.  a perceived added value means a real added cost.  thats my big take away.

...i also doubt any attempt to 'legally enforce' 3 inches in a machine traveling 3000 miles.  either take their word for it or break out a tape measure and go all subway on their asses.
 
2014-08-03 11:51:30 PM  
I geuss airlines will not be happy until a group of passengers actually tears a pilot to peices with their bare hands.
 
2014-08-04 11:03:52 AM  

teenage mutant ninja rapist: I geuss airlines will not be happy until a group of passengers actually tears a pilot to peices with their bare hands.


Don't buy tickets on the airlines that do this. The airlines don't WANT to make the experience terrible for the customers. They really don't -- they're driven by profit, sure, but they'd be happy to make that profit on expensive tickets too. But so long as everyone buys tickets by going to Kayak or Travelocity and blindly picking the lowest fare, the only way to make any money is by undercutting the competition. As much as folks like to complain about air travel, if they buy $250 Spirit ticket over a $325 United ticket, well, what do we expect to happen?
 
2014-08-04 10:53:04 PM  

dukeblue219: teenage mutant ninja rapist: I geuss airlines will not be happy until a group of passengers actually tears a pilot to peices with their bare hands.

Don't buy tickets on the airlines that do this. The airlines don't WANT to make the experience terrible for the customers. They really don't -- they're driven by profit, sure, but they'd be happy to make that profit on expensive tickets too. But so long as everyone buys tickets by going to Kayak or Travelocity and blindly picking the lowest fare, the only way to make any money is by undercutting the competition. As much as folks like to complain about air travel, if they buy $250 Spirit ticket over a $325 United ticket, well, what do we expect to happen?


So you buy the United ticket.  And United pockets the extra $75, gives you exactly the same seat as Spirit and breaks your guitar besides.
 
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