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(NYPost)   Another reason to lose weight: "The more a man's fattening belly grows outward, 'the more it eats their penis.'" Subby hasn't seen his own penis in five years, but he's got a really confused boner right now   (nypost.com) divider line 84
    More: Sad, visceral fat, romantic relationship, childhood obesity  
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7774 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Aug 2014 at 4:13 AM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-08-03 12:33:47 AM  
Same here, subby... but sometimes when I feel lonely I drive down a bumpy road and it's almost like I'm getting a handjob.
 
2014-08-03 01:25:41 AM  
Some 15% of American girls now begin puberty by first or second grade

Does anyone else find that terrifying?


Girls who get their periods earlier are "more likely to be sexually active sooner than girls the same age

"a teenage girl's odds for a romantic relationship...dropped 6 to 7 percent for every 1-point increase in her body mass index."


So they're hitting puberty faster because they're fat and they would start having sex earlier except no one wants to have sex with them because they're fat?
 
2014-08-03 01:45:56 AM  

fusillade762: So they're hitting puberty faster because they're fat and they would start having sex earlier except no one wants to have sex with them because they're fat?


Why would being overweight trigger premature puberty though?  Is it a causal or simply correlational link?
 
2014-08-03 01:54:05 AM  

Ambivalence: fusillade762: So they're hitting puberty faster because they're fat and they would start having sex earlier except no one wants to have sex with them because they're fat?

Why would being overweight trigger premature puberty though?  Is it a causal or simply correlational link?


Not sure. Though anecdotally, I remember a girl I went to college with who had 0% body fat (gymnast). She claimed she never had periods.
 
2014-08-03 01:59:59 AM  

Ambivalence: fusillade762: So they're hitting puberty faster because they're fat and they would start having sex earlier except no one wants to have sex with them because they're fat?

Why would being overweight trigger premature puberty though?  Is it a causal or simply correlational link?


They apparently still aren't exactly sure, but a minimal amount of body fat is needed to initiate puberty, and the genes that initiate puberty are controlled by your amount of body fat.
 
2014-08-03 02:11:54 AM  

fusillade762: Not sure. Though anecdotally, I remember a girl I went to college with who had 0% body fat (gymnast). She claimed she never had periods.


That is very common among athletes.  The body doesn't waste its energy on something as resource intensive as menstruation/possible pregnancy when the body fat % gets really low (IIRC it's at less than 14%).
 
2014-08-03 02:16:21 AM  
Don't matter if you can see it or not if no one's interested in lookin'
 
2014-08-03 02:35:14 AM  
Oh...so that's where it's been.
 
2014-08-03 02:50:17 AM  

zamboni: Same here, subby... but sometimes when I feel lonely I drive down a bumpy road and it's almost like I'm getting a handjob.


Dammit Zamboni!  Jim Beam Black all over the place.
 
2014-08-03 03:16:38 AM  

Lsherm: Ambivalence: fusillade762: So they're hitting puberty faster because they're fat and they would start having sex earlier except no one wants to have sex with them because they're fat?

Why would being overweight trigger premature puberty though?  Is it a causal or simply correlational link?

They apparently still aren't exactly sure, but a minimal amount of body fat is needed to initiate puberty, and the genes that initiate puberty are controlled by your amount of body fat.


One suspect is estrogen like compounds (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xenoestrogen ) in the food these days, another is hormones in the food (milk and beef in particular) that are getting passed on.

But it is probably as simple as the extra fat convinces the body that NOW IS THE PERFECT TIME to have babies, because later you might not have as much fat.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Precocious_puberty#Types_and_causes
If no cause can be identified, it is considered idiopathic or constitutional.
Idiopathic, greek for, we have no farking clue
 
2014-08-03 03:20:21 AM  

namatad: Lsherm: Ambivalence: fusillade762: So they're hitting puberty faster because they're fat and they would start having sex earlier except no one wants to have sex with them because they're fat?

Why would being overweight trigger premature puberty though?  Is it a causal or simply correlational link?

They apparently still aren't exactly sure, but a minimal amount of body fat is needed to initiate puberty, and the genes that initiate puberty are controlled by your amount of body fat.

One suspect is estrogen like compounds (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xenoestrogen ) in the food these days, another is hormones in the food (milk and beef in particular) that are getting passed on.

But it is probably as simple as the extra fat convinces the body that NOW IS THE PERFECT TIME to have babies, because later you might not have as much fat.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Precocious_puberty#Types_and_causes
If no cause can be identified, it is considered idiopathic or constitutional.
Idiopathic, greek for, we have no farking clue


Years ago, we blamed steroids in the Cheerios

/it sounded better than "we're dirty old men"
 
2014-08-03 03:41:03 AM  
i98.photobucket.com
 
2014-08-03 04:22:43 AM  
"buried penis syndrome."

There's such a thing. God Bless Americans, especially the fat ones with little nubbins.
 
2014-08-03 04:26:46 AM  
New York Post. Are we supposed to take this article seriously?
 
2014-08-03 04:26:46 AM  
Losing weight is the only real way to gain penis size.  Unless you are 12.
 
2014-08-03 04:36:10 AM  
Useless, but this does remind me that both the playmate and I have dropped a few pounds recently. Hmm...
 
2014-08-03 04:36:31 AM  
Well it damn sure ain't gonna eat itself!
 
2014-08-03 04:36:32 AM  
Well, crap, that explains it.. I was getting worried for a while.
 
2014-08-03 04:39:24 AM  
weknowmemes.com
 
2014-08-03 04:40:42 AM  
My weight has fluctuated pretty wildly during the course of my adult life and I've never noticed any issue with length. I have, however, heard that the girthier I get, the girthier it gets as well. So much as I'd rather not be a fat bastard I guess there's a certain advantage.

At least on those saturday nights I'm not on fark at 1a with nothing better to do.

/FML
//see also: fat bastard
 
2014-08-03 04:42:39 AM  
How to get 4 inches of dick out through 6 inches of fat or innies, not just for belly buttons any more. Fat tissue makes estrogen independently of ovaries and contributes to early menarche in girls and gynecomastia in boys so if you don't want your son growing tits or your daughter buying tampons when she should still be playing with Barbies you should keep them skinny.
 
2014-08-03 04:44:12 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-08-03 04:44:53 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Don't matter if you can see it or not if no one's interested in lookin'


That's what I was thinking.  I'm by no means fat.  I've been very skinny all my life. Only recently have I put on a few pounds (that I needed), and I'm thinking, why not go whole hog and eat myself into oblivion since there aren't any women interested in my peener.

/I'll be over here crying into a big plate o' bacon
 
2014-08-03 04:46:32 AM  
So wait ... for every 50 lbs I lose, I'll gain an inch of penis? Huh. So if I lose 150 pounds, i'll have an 11 inch dick and weigh 40 pounds.
 
2014-08-03 04:59:43 AM  

OgreMagi: why not go whole hog and eat myself into oblivion since there aren't any women interested in my peener.


And that's why my sunday breakfast consisted of leftover pizza and 3 pints of Rothaus pils.
 
2014-08-03 05:15:30 AM  

Cheese eating surrender monkey: OgreMagi: why not go whole hog and eat myself into oblivion since there aren't any women interested in my peener.

And that's why my sunday breakfast consisted of leftover pizza and 3 pints of Rothaus pils.



Ugly Man With Huge Penis Unsure How To Get The Word Out
 
2014-08-03 05:18:04 AM  
Science, biatches!  But not really!  I mean, come on, your abdominal wall eaters your penis?  Then can you please explain why after 17 years of developing my "contractor" beer belly, my penis is still the awesome 5" it was when I was a young stud getting laid every night.  (Needless to say, We're talking one night stands, because no self-respecting woman would desire a second two-second romp with 5" of pure needledick.
 
2014-08-03 05:18:26 AM  

OgreMagi: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Don't matter if you can see it or not if no one's interested in lookin'

That's what I was thinking.  I'm by no means fat.  I've been very skinny all my life. Only recently have I put on a few pounds (that I needed), and I'm thinking, why not go whole hog and eat myself into oblivion since there aren't any women interested in my peener.

/I'll be over here crying into a big plate o' bacon


You're not taking into consideration the shame you'll feel every time you have to pull your dick out to pee. And I'm not talking about pulling it out through the fly like a lot of guys do. I mean that your pants are down, your underwear is down, but still no dick hanging out.
 
2014-08-03 05:26:14 AM  
Do she got da fupa?
 
2014-08-03 05:29:28 AM  
Find your penis for a dollar?

img2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-08-03 06:03:53 AM  
x2.fjcdn.com
 
2014-08-03 06:14:19 AM  

sandbar67: So wait ... for every 50 lbs I lose, I'll gain an inch of penis? Huh. So if I lose 150 pounds, i'll have an 11 inch dick and weigh 40 pounds.


Yep. Just ask Peter Dinklage.
 
2014-08-03 06:31:43 AM  

T-Servo: Cheese eating surrender monkey: OgreMagi: why not go whole hog and eat myself into oblivion since there aren't any women interested in my peener.

And that's why my sunday breakfast consisted of leftover pizza and 3 pints of Rothaus pils.


Ugly Man With Huge Penis Unsure How To Get The Word Out


As a well hung ugly man I'd gladly trade places with an avg sized guy that looks like Brad Pitt or George Clooney.
 
2014-08-03 06:35:11 AM  
Wow. What a topic for a book-length work. I'll put that on my reading list just under, "How America's obsession with bad movies is creating deadlier spiders".
 
2014-08-03 06:41:01 AM  
i.chzbgr.com
 
2014-08-03 06:43:32 AM  

Badgers: [i.chzbgr.com image 500x245]


What in the hell is that?  It looks like something out of a horror movie.
 
2014-08-03 06:51:40 AM  
i.imgur.com

/DNRTFA
//too scared
 
2014-08-03 07:04:37 AM  

gerbilpox: [i.imgur.com image 416x490]

/DNRTFA
//too scared


Yeah.  There is no good context for the phrase "the more it eats their penis "
 
2014-08-03 07:06:37 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-08-03 07:17:08 AM  
... and this is what happens when women's autonomy in sex is given precedence over men's.
 
2014-08-03 07:18:53 AM  
I glanced at the headline, saw "clown penis," and became more intrigued.
 
2014-08-03 07:55:58 AM  

Ambivalence: Badgers: [i.chzbgr.com image 500x245]

What in the hell is that?  It looks like something out of a horror movie.


Magnetic Silly Putty
 
2014-08-03 08:12:12 AM  
Stop oppressing men.

Fat men are beautiful with their huge disgusting bellies and women should find them just as attractive as fitter men and if they do not then they are misandrist.
 
2014-08-03 08:38:04 AM  
It's not just a problem for men, c.f. The Gunt.
 
2014-08-03 09:08:30 AM  

rubi_con_man: ... and this is what happens when women's autonomy in sex is given precedence over men's.


The matriarchy is an unjust social system that is oppressive to men.
 
2014-08-03 09:23:58 AM  

Badgers: Ambivalence: Badgers: [i.chzbgr.com image 500x245]

What in the hell is that?  It looks like something out of a horror movie.

Magnetic Silly Putty


Ok... that was cool

/thanks for posting that
 
2014-08-03 09:27:36 AM  

Djorra: New York Post. Are we supposed to take this article seriously?


Did you think you'd get invited to the cool kids table if you just made an ad hominem attack?
 
2014-08-03 09:31:22 AM  
I always called it 'pig in a blanket'......
 
2014-08-03 09:39:26 AM  
Diet?  Hell doc, what color is it now?!
 
2014-08-03 09:49:28 AM  
Just get married, you'll never use it again.
 
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