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(SeattlePI)   Worst. Robbery. Ever   (blog.seattlepi.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, carjacking, robbery, Seattle Police  
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8819 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Aug 2014 at 6:36 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



15 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-08-02 05:22:07 PM  
The customers apparently weren't up to giving their cash to a stranger, so the man switched gears and tried to incite a collective dine-and-dash, saying he was "there to help" them escape the restaurant, police reports say.

img2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-08-02 06:41:25 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-08-02 06:45:53 PM  
Full time consideration of another endeavor... might be in order.
 
2014-08-02 06:47:51 PM  
Passive aggression is not a trait found in successful thugs
 
2014-08-02 06:48:41 PM  
But the workers told the robber to take the tip jar, which held about $15, reports say.
The robber grabbed the jar...
The robber...went inside the gas station [across the street] to purchase a beverage, reports say. He took a breather behind the building.
...
Police searched the man and found only $7 and a cell phone. It's unknown what happened to the reported $15 in tip jar money.


He turned $15 into $7 and a beverage. Is he some kind of wizard?
 
2014-08-02 06:49:12 PM  
Since robbery is the taking of another's property by "force or fear" and obviously nobody was scared of this poor slob, CAN he even be charged with robbery or attempted robbery, one wonders? Is "attempting to be scary" a crime?
 
2014-08-02 06:57:40 PM  
Say that reminds me, how'd you get that kid so darn fast? Me and Dot went in to adopt on account a' somethin' went wrong with my semen, and they said we had to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said, "Healthy white baby? Five years? What else you got?" Said they got two Koreans and a negra born with his heart on the outside. It's a crazy world.
 
2014-08-02 07:15:10 PM  

Shaggy_C: But the workers told the robber to take the tip jar, which held about $15, reports say.
The robber grabbed the jar...
The robber...went inside the gas station [across the street] to purchase a beverage, reports say. He took a breather behind the building.
...
Police searched the man and found only $7 and a cell phone. It's unknown what happened to the reported $15 in tip jar money.

He turned $15 into $7 and a beverage. Is he some kind of wizard?


Cop math?
 
2014-08-02 07:42:07 PM  
The only thing missing from this misguided caper is a "Yakety Sax" accompaniment....
 
2014-08-02 08:37:35 PM  

skinink: Say that reminds me, how'd you get that kid so darn fast? Me and Dot went in to adopt on account a' somethin' went wrong with my semen, and they said we had to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said, "Healthy white baby? Five years? What else you got?" Said they got two Koreans and a negra born with his heart on the outside. It's a crazy world.


 Son, you got a panty on your head.
 
2014-08-02 09:20:27 PM  
After running to a nearby parking lot, the man tried to swipe a woman's car keys from her hand as she stood next to her car, but instead his actions prompted her to film his follies with her cell phone.

I think that's about the worst thing I've ever heard.
 
2014-08-02 11:54:24 PM  
www.woodyallenpages.com

"You have a 'gub'?"
 
2014-08-03 09:43:29 AM  

Shaggy_C: But the workers told the robber to take the tip jar, which held about $15, reports say.
The robber grabbed the jar...
The robber...went inside the gas station [across the street] to purchase a beverage, reports say. He took a breather behind the building.
...
Police searched the man and found only $7 and a cell phone. It's unknown what happened to the reported $15 in tip jar money.

He turned $15 into $7 and a beverage. Is he some kind of wizard?


Now we know who buys those $8 convenience store beverages.
 
2014-08-03 10:24:31 AM  
ctcmr.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-08-03 12:37:04 PM  
"Everybody be cool, this is a bunglery!"

A restaurant in the 600 block of 5th Ave South? So, the Uwajimaya food court?
 
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