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(The Local)   Woman finds IKEA bags stuffed with 80 human skeletons. No word on if she was able to assemble them without having to call the support line   (thelocal.se) divider line 74
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6488 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Aug 2014 at 11:00 PM (8 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-08-02 12:04:13 AM

theflatline: pushcart: BitwiseShift: Those bags are awesome -- what else can you buy for $0.59 that's so useful.

In Austin you have to bring your own bags to the grocery store because green. I can put a week's groceries in an IKEA sack. Best thing ever.
Fark those one-item plastic store bags anyway. They are a dumbass idea. You can't even pick up dog shiat with them without getting shiat on your hand because the farkers are about an angstrom thick and anything heavier than hummingbird breast down pokes a hole in them that you don't see until there's dog shiat on your hand and your wife laughs her ass off.

Really?  Because I use Walmart and Publix plastic bags to pick up my 80 lb dogs large dumps and do not get shiat on my hands.

Maybe your wife pokes holes in the bags so they break because she likes to see you with shiat on your hands.


Possibly. I am an insufferable bastard.
 
2014-08-02 12:10:15 AM

pushcart: theflatline: pushcart: BitwiseShift: Those bags are awesome -- what else can you buy for $0.59 that's so useful.

In Austin you have to bring your own bags to the grocery store because green. I can put a week's groceries in an IKEA sack. Best thing ever.
Fark those one-item plastic store bags anyway. They are a dumbass idea. You can't even pick up dog shiat with them without getting shiat on your hand because the farkers are about an angstrom thick and anything heavier than hummingbird breast down pokes a hole in them that you don't see until there's dog shiat on your hand and your wife laughs her ass off.

Really?  Because I use Walmart and Publix plastic bags to pick up my 80 lb dogs large dumps and do not get shiat on my hands.

Maybe your wife pokes holes in the bags so they break because she likes to see you with shiat on your hands.

Possibly. I am an insufferable bastard.


Great answer my friend!
 
2014-08-02 12:19:21 AM
How did they die?

Someone put a hex on them.
 
2014-08-02 12:25:08 AM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Fluid: fusillade762: "There were loads of skulls and bones stuffed into Ikea bags. I counted up to 80,"

80 bones does not 80 skeletons make.

Regardless, I'm surprised she bothered to count at least 80 of them. I would've just said "There were a lot of them."

That's as many as four twentys.  And that's terrible.


I don't know what's worse, that joke, or the fact I actually got it.

/tips my Lex Luthor collectable hat to you.
 
2014-08-02 12:47:59 AM

Stoj: eq2imora: Ah, Ikea. The store that translates instructions from Swedish to Chinese to English (I swear, they cant be that bad... I have better luck with the Swedish!).

Garbage.

[slm-assets3.secondlife.com image 403x345]


Yours was funnier.
 
2014-08-02 12:53:52 AM
Some whiny busy-body complained.
Not news, not even Fark.
 
2014-08-02 01:57:59 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: ♫ Toe bone connected to the foot bone. Foot bone connected to the heel bone. Heel bone connected to the ankle bone, repeat for left side assembly... ♫


The ankle bone is connected to part # 104338 with bolt # 204522 using the included hex wrench.
 
2014-08-02 02:01:33 AM

pushcart: BitwiseShift: Those bags are awesome -- what else can you buy for $0.59 that's so useful.

In Austin you have to bring your own bags to the grocery store because green. I can put a week's groceries in an IKEA sack. Best thing ever.
Fark those one-item plastic store bags anyway. They are a dumbass idea. You can't even pick up dog shiat with them without getting shiat on your hand because the farkers are about an angstrom thick and anything heavier than hummingbird breast down pokes a hole in them that you don't see until there's dog shiat on your hand and your wife laughs her ass off.


LoL
 
2014-08-02 02:45:25 AM
If you can't assembly ikea products without calling the support line, I'm surprised you can feed yourself. If that's not the case, just have your caretaker assemble it for you.
 
2014-08-02 02:55:37 AM

pushcart: theflatline: pushcart: BitwiseShift: Those bags are awesome -- what else can you buy for $0.59 that's so useful.

In Austin you have to bring your own bags to the grocery store because green. I can put a week's groceries in an IKEA sack. Best thing ever.
Fark those one-item plastic store bags anyway. They are a dumbass idea. You can't even pick up dog shiat with them without getting shiat on your hand because the farkers are about an angstrom thick and anything heavier than hummingbird breast down pokes a hole in them that you don't see until there's dog shiat on your hand and your wife laughs her ass off.

Really?  Because I use Walmart and Publix plastic bags to pick up my 80 lb dogs large dumps and do not get shiat on my hands.

Maybe your wife pokes holes in the bags so they break because she likes to see you with shiat on your hands.

Possibly. I am an insufferable bastard.


I don't have a dog but this would explain a few recurring episodes and my GFs random laughter
 
2014-08-02 03:09:29 AM
Is this lady threatening to kill my grandparents?
 
2014-08-02 03:41:14 AM
You just know that after all of this is over they're going to end up with small bones that don't fit anywhere.
 
2014-08-02 03:57:28 AM

lindalouwho: Gyrfalcon: fusillade762: "There were loads of skulls and bones stuffed into Ikea bags. I counted up to 80,"

80 bones does not 80 skeletons make.

If there were 80 skulls, there were 80 skeletons.

There were not complete skeletons.
"The collection was mostly skulls and longer bones."


But if there were 80 skulls, there HAD been 80 skeletons.
 
2014-08-02 05:50:10 AM
Worst use of the scary tag I've ever seen on Fark.

Me: "Ooh that does sound scary."
*click*
"Oh... That's just lame and not at all scary..."


I expected an axe murderer with no leads or you know.... actual scariness... Not just some soccer mom whining about a graveyard being re-located.
 
2014-08-02 07:15:45 AM
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL DESK!
 
2014-08-02 07:33:36 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvKFCGqdNeM guess not all were as lucky as him
 
2014-08-02 08:03:36 AM

Gyrfalcon: lindalouwho: Gyrfalcon: fusillade762: "There were loads of skulls and bones stuffed into Ikea bags. I counted up to 80,"

80 bones does not 80 skeletons make.

If there were 80 skulls, there were 80 skeletons.

There were not complete skeletons.
"The collection was mostly skulls and longer bones."

But if there were 80 skulls, there HAD been 80 skeletons.


Yes, but not necessarily 80 skeletons in the bags. In fact, there could easily have been 352 skeletons and 80 skulls. Or pieces of 957 skeletons and 80 skulls. Or 80 skulls and one femur. 80 skulls were certainly attached to 80 skeletons at some point, but this lady isn't flipping out that skeletons exist, only that they were in her homeless woman costume.
 
2014-08-02 08:34:41 AM
I figure every Ikea has such a collection. It's hard to figure out how to leave those stores. Surely, some don't ever make it out, and eventually die of meatball poisoning.
 
2014-08-02 08:35:31 AM

Gyrfalcon: lindalouwho: Gyrfalcon: fusillade762: "There were loads of skulls and bones stuffed into Ikea bags. I counted up to 80,"

80 bones does not 80 skeletons make.

If there were 80 skulls, there were 80 skeletons.

There were not complete skeletons.
"The collection was mostly skulls and longer bones."

But if there were 80 skulls, there HAD been 80 skeletons.


Why yes, of course.

How did this become a thing?
Ooooh, you're the murderer and you want credit for all 80 kills.

I see. *cough* police *cough*
 
2014-08-02 09:04:51 AM
I didn't complain when it turned out that they put horse meat in my Swedish meatballs. This time, however, I am NOT HAPPY.
 
2014-08-02 09:55:47 AM
Everyone loves Ikea
 
2014-08-02 10:03:55 AM
fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net
 
2014-08-02 11:19:22 AM
New furniture line

www.halloweenforum.com

/Some assembly required
 
2014-08-02 03:35:34 PM
I thought Sweden didn't have any concentration camps that could supply decomposed skeletons.
(Actually, they may have had one - allegedly, Jerry Lewis filmed his "lost" movie  "The Day the Clown
Cried" in Sweden.  That's the movie in which Lewis played a clown incarcerated in a Nazi stalag.)
 
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