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(WFMY 2 Greensboro)   When you break into a store and tell police you got "locked in the bathroom overnight" its best not to be found surrounded by empty beer bottles, cigarette butts, and open cookie boxes   (wfmynews2.com ) divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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1678 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Aug 2014 at 12:22 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



27 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-08-01 11:42:02 PM  
"It was like that when I got here."
 
2014-08-02 12:24:43 AM  
What else are you going to do? Just sit there? The store is responsible. If their negligence only cost them a few beers and cookies they should count their lucky stars.
 
2014-08-02 12:27:39 AM  

phrawgh: What else are you going to do? Just sit there? The store is responsible. If their negligence only cost them a few beers and cookies they should count their lucky stars.


Yep, sorry, but you owe me X amount of hours of my life back. We can call it even, or we can tally the value. Your call, Mr. Night manager.
 
2014-08-02 12:28:15 AM  
Once he took the stuff, he should have broken out.

But of course, being USA; I assume the supermarket is in a field somewhere.
 
2014-08-02 12:28:36 AM  
Of course, this guy can go fark himself
 
2014-08-02 12:36:13 AM  
Beer, cookies and cigarettes are part of this nutritious breakfast.
 
2014-08-02 12:44:20 AM  

ComaToast: Beer, cookies and cigarettes are part of this nutritious breakfast.


Fark the food pyramid, this is the food triforce.
 
2014-08-02 01:07:45 AM  
Police asked Starkey why he didn't call 911 but he said, "He did not know,"

That makes it sound like the criminal's words were "He did not know".

I guess the criminal in this case refers to himself in the 3rd person.

Also, why didn't he just wait until they opened the next morning to make his exit?  It seems like the perfect crime and possibly a career.   Inhabit the closest convenience store for a night, free food and lodging.   Difficulty being a lot of them are open 24 hours and they're not complete idiots.
 
2014-08-02 01:38:27 AM  
I am guessing that from now on, one of the person's job duties while/when closing the store is to check if anyone is in the damned store before closing it and leaving!!
 
2014-08-02 01:56:28 AM  
He must have gotten locked in. Or why wouldn't he have left?
 
2014-08-02 03:30:16 AM  

GreenAdder: "It was like that when I got here."


"They taught us this in survival school*"


*if you want to step it up a notch use "Navy Seal training"
 
2014-08-02 03:31:46 AM  
croesius: ComaToast: Beer, cookies and cigarettes are part of this nutritious breakfast.
 
Fark the food pyramid, this is the food triforce.


Nor beer nor cigarettes are food.

/Young Link disapproves
 
2014-08-02 03:40:13 AM  

gfid: Police asked Starkey why he didn't call 911 but he said, "He did not know,"

That makes it sound like the criminal's words were "He did not know".

I guess the criminal in this case refers to himself in the 3rd person.

Also, why didn't he just wait until they opened the next morning to make his exit?  It seems like the perfect crime and possibly a career.   Inhabit the closest convenience store for a night, free food and lodging.   Difficulty being a lot of them are open 24 hours and they're not complete idiots.


Probably the drinking beer all night aspect made fleeing a challenge.
 
2014-08-02 04:50:41 AM  

phrawgh: What else are you going to do? Just sit there? The store is responsible. If their negligence only cost them a few beers and cookies they should count their lucky stars.


yeah, the owner can go ahead and sue for the value of the items and the guy can just turn around and sue for kidnapping.  Probably best to act nice, give him some freebies and say sorry.
 
2014-08-02 05:26:25 AM  
Except our charming miscreant had loaded his pockets with electronics and prepaid phone cards, liquor and anything else he could carry.
 
2014-08-02 05:41:10 AM  
i.myniceprofile.com
 
2014-08-02 05:41:54 AM  

phrawgh: What else are you going to do? Just sit there? The store is responsible. If their negligence only cost them a few beers and cookies they should count their lucky stars.


 Well yes a few beers and cookies, maybe some soda, cigs and sandwiches while he's trapped, but the sunglasses, candy bars, display cell phones, and prepaid cards he decided to fill his pockets with is where our hero got too greedy. That's where the store can be like " I know I farked up, but really bro?"

/He hid in the bathroom
//Why aren't they cleaning their bathrooms?
 
2014-08-02 05:52:16 AM  
PRO TIP:  Always act like there are cameras EVERYWHERE!  ALWAYS!  Or, if that's too hard, act like a responsible adult with a working conscience.  Just a thought.  ;)
 
2014-08-02 05:52:26 AM  

MagSeven: phrawgh: What else are you going to do? Just sit there? The store is responsible. If their negligence only cost them a few beers and cookies they should count their lucky stars.

 Well yes a few beers and cookies, maybe some soda, cigs and sandwiches while he's trapped, but the sunglasses, candy bars, display cell phones, and prepaid cards he decided to fill his pockets with is where our hero got too greedy. That's where the store can be like " I know I farked up, but really bro?"

/He hid in the bathroom
//Why aren't they cleaning their bathrooms?


Obviously stealing all that shiat was his coping mechanism while dealing with this traumatic event. In other words, PTSD.
 
2014-08-02 05:53:18 AM  

spiralscratch: [i.myniceprofile.com image 350x275]


Horrible movie. But, I think I've watched it over 100 times.  Because of her ;)
 
2014-08-02 06:24:11 AM  

phrawgh: MagSeven: phrawgh: What else are you going to do? Just sit there? The store is responsible. If their negligence only cost them a few beers and cookies they should count their lucky stars.

 Well yes a few beers and cookies, maybe some soda, cigs and sandwiches while he's trapped, but the sunglasses, candy bars, display cell phones, and prepaid cards he decided to fill his pockets with is where our hero got too greedy. That's where the store can be like " I know I farked up, but really bro?"

/He hid in the bathroom
//Why aren't they cleaning their bathrooms?

Obviously stealing all that shiat was his coping mechanism while dealing with this traumatic event. In other words, PTSD.


i3.kym-cdn.com
 
2014-08-02 06:50:56 AM  

Khazar-Khum: Except our charming miscreant had loaded his pockets with electronics and prepaid phone cards, liquor and anything else he could carry.


The little scamp.
 
2014-08-02 07:11:15 AM  
Well, SOMETHING had to fill the time and eventually you have to stop masterbating.
 
2014-08-02 07:31:49 AM  
 
2014-08-02 07:52:13 AM  

mike_d85: Well, SOMETHING had to fill the time and eventually you have to stop masterbating.


Not if the store has a pharmacy!
 
2014-08-02 08:02:00 AM  

mike_d85: Well, SOMETHING had to fill the time and eventually you have to stop masterbating.


Quitter
 
2014-08-02 06:04:11 PM  

Fank: croesius: ComaToast: Beer, cookies and cigarettes are part of this nutritious breakfast.
 
Fark the food pyramid, this is the food triforce.


Nor beer nor cigarettes are food.

/Young Link disapproves


Well, cigarettes are questionable, as it is something you injest, but has no real caloric value. However you can say that about many traditional food items as well.

And if you are arguing that beer has no food value, you (a) need to research a bit, and (b) are on the wrong website.
 
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