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(NPR)   1) Cooking dinner; 2) Having sex; 3) Pooping. Which way would you rather die? It's probably going to be one of those, so you might as well go ahead and pick one now   (npr.org) divider line 151
    More: Scary  
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7358 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Aug 2014 at 1:46 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-08-01 12:25:47 PM  
It would probably be very difficult to combine all three, but at least two of those at once shouldn't present too much of a logistical dilemma.
 
2014-08-01 12:45:17 PM  

Pocket Ninja: It would probably be very difficult to combine all three, but at least two of those at once shouldn't present too much of a logistical dilemma.


I dunno, cook dinner for a date, get her into bed and then try for a Cleveland steamer before she shoots you in utter disgust.
 
2014-08-01 01:42:10 PM  
I'm getting a kick out of this thread because I'm pooping right now.
 
2014-08-01 01:42:47 PM  
I think the bowel emptying comes regardless of your method  of joining the fishes for an eternal dirt-nap.

Consider it a bonus.
 
2014-08-01 01:43:45 PM  
None of those terrify me.  Other people kicking the bucket while they're going 70 mph in an 18 wheeler scares me.
 
2014-08-01 01:48:02 PM  
4 In my sleep, not screaming like the other people in the car
 
2014-08-01 01:49:21 PM  
Poop thread!
 
2014-08-01 01:49:26 PM  
When you die you're going to piss and poop anyway, so the last one is a gimme.
 
2014-08-01 01:49:43 PM  
Why not all 3 at once?
 
2014-08-01 01:50:08 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-08-01 01:50:25 PM  
Shouldn't number 2 be pooping?
 
2014-08-01 01:50:38 PM  
having sex.
 
2014-08-01 01:50:55 PM  
This is why I don't have trap doors or keep dwarfs in my house.
 
2014-08-01 01:50:55 PM  
Pooping while have sex with someone's dinner
 
2014-08-01 01:51:00 PM  

mainstreet62: Why not all 3 at once?


Are you German?
 
2014-08-01 01:52:02 PM  

mainstreet62: Why not all 3 at once?


ewww, cooking while pooping?? gross
 
2014-08-01 01:52:16 PM  

Pocket Ninja: It would probably be very difficult to combine all three, but at least two of those at once shouldn't present too much of a logistical dilemma.


Dude, that's what crock-pots are for.
 
2014-08-01 01:52:59 PM  

sithon: I'm getting a kick out of this thread because I'm pooping right now.


Me too! We're poop buddies!
 
2014-08-01 01:54:06 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-08-01 01:54:35 PM  
I want to die while getting a blumpkin and eating a bowl of cereal.  The trifecta.
 
2014-08-01 01:54:37 PM  
Hmmm.

Subby, change that to eating dinner, pooping, and sex and I'm sold. 

Going out eating a buffalo chicken sand which while tanking a dump while getting a blumpkin would be a fine way to go.
 
2014-08-01 01:55:43 PM  
Seven out of ten Farkers have told me I'm supposed to EABOD and DIAF.
 
2014-08-01 01:55:57 PM  
I'm looking for a toilet at work where I can check out.   I'd like it to be nice and if possible one where they won't find the body for a weekend.  That way, the wife will think I ran off and then will be very sad to find out I was dead on a toilet for three or four days.  Then she'll get the insurance checks and then she'll be happy again.
 
2014-08-01 01:56:01 PM  
Cooking.  I would like to die fully clothed.
 
2014-08-01 01:56:09 PM  
In my sleep. Preferably, a good friend or a relative finds my cold, dead body. I'll hope there is lots of blood, and my hand is wrapped around my pecker.
 
2014-08-01 01:56:34 PM  
I want to go peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.

...not yelling and screaming in terror, like his passengers...
 
2014-08-01 01:56:45 PM  
Pooping, because you often loose control of your bowels upon death. This way, I'll already be "good to go."
 
2014-08-01 01:56:46 PM  

toraque: Pocket Ninja: It would probably be very difficult to combine all three, but at least two of those at once shouldn't present too much of a logistical dilemma.

I dunno, cook dinner for a date, get her into bed and then try for a Cleveland steamer before she shoots you in utter disgust.


Damn you for making me laugh at that at work and people asking me what I was laughing at.
 
2014-08-01 01:57:09 PM  
What I want.... NSFW

What I'll probably get.
images.medicinenet.com
 
2014-08-01 01:57:10 PM  
Almost a blumpkin trifecta
 
2014-08-01 01:58:03 PM  

A Fark Handle: having sex.


You know, that happens, and I always wonder how much it screws up the other person...
 
2014-08-01 01:58:13 PM  
My uncle (who had my name) died while pooping. My grandfather (who had my name) died while pooping. I know how I'll probably die.
 
2014-08-01 01:58:21 PM  

MetryPapi: Pocket Ninja: It would probably be very difficult to combine all three, but at least two of those at once shouldn't present too much of a logistical dilemma.

Dude, that's what crock-pots are for.


Remind me never to have the corn chili at your house.
 
2014-08-01 01:58:37 PM  
I'm planning on 4) Masturbating while wearing a clown suit.

Much more fun for whoever eventually finds me.
 
2014-08-01 01:58:49 PM  
Pooping.

I want my loved ones to be around me when I go.
 
2014-08-01 01:59:03 PM  
Ha. I don't do any of those, so I'll go with #4: Leaving a stupid commasa ,msd,m' 0
.00x
 
2014-08-01 01:59:19 PM  
As it stands right now, aggressive copulation stands the best chance of killing me.
 
2014-08-01 01:59:29 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: What I want.... NSFW


When you say NSFW, you don't fark about, do you?
 
2014-08-01 01:59:34 PM  
Not cooking.  I don't want to die hungry.
 
2014-08-01 01:59:43 PM  
If what I've done in the past hasn't killed me by now, chances are I'm good for a long long time. So .. piss off ..
 
2014-08-01 01:59:52 PM  
Remember if you die during sex you come and go at the same time ;)
 
2014-08-01 01:59:59 PM  

fearmongert: A Fark Handle: having sex.

You know, that happens, and I always wonder how much it screws up the other person...


don't care.  had sex.
 
2014-08-01 02:00:29 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-08-01 02:01:18 PM  

A Fark Handle: don't care.  had sex.


...and didn't get to finish. Do you want to spend the afterlife regretting not being just a little bit faster?
 
2014-08-01 02:01:45 PM  

fearmongert: A Fark Handle: having sex.

You know, that happens, and I always wonder how much it screws up the other person...


Because they didn't get to climax?
 
2014-08-01 02:01:53 PM  
If it was good enough for The King, it's good enough for me.
 
2014-08-01 02:02:20 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: What I want.... NSFW

What I'll probably get.
[images.medicinenet.com image 493x335]


farm9.staticflickr.com
 
2014-08-01 02:02:24 PM  
Having sex as 18 year stripper girlfriend rides me during a private moment at my 100th birthday party leaving my 30 year old wife and family to fight over the estate
 
2014-08-01 02:02:41 PM  
Not screaming in terror like my passengers
 
2014-08-01 02:03:00 PM  
I'll die in a stupid way that will make a Fark headline, and people will make Darwin jokes.
 
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