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Duplicate of another approved link: 8357712

(New York Daily News)   Not news: Cop fails a drug test. News: And blames the positive for cocaine result on 'sex balm' his friend got from an old Cuban guy. Fark: Thanks to a unmarked purple tub with a Vaseline substance testing positive and is reinstated   ( divider line
    More: Florida  
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13 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
2014-08-01 11:04:37 AM  
2014-08-01 11:15:21 AM  
He didn't read the indigents?

Other headline was better.

/just sayin'
2014-08-01 11:45:58 AM  
Ooh, he card read good.
2014-08-01 11:47:37 AM  
Believe it or not, this is a thing.  I know someone who had some similar shiat, basically it's like rubbing coke on your junk.  You can't feel much but you can last for hours.  Some condoms have lidocaine in them for similar results.

/The more you know....
2014-08-01 11:47:55 AM  
Isn't cocaine more of a numbing agent that would make things less sensitive?
2014-08-01 11:49:11 AM  
It's an epidemic! Or a repeat.
2014-08-01 11:50:31 AM  

jfivealive: Isn't cocaine more of a numbing agent that would make things less sensitive?

yes some people rub it on their junk to last longer
2014-08-01 11:50:44 AM  

BATMANATEE: It's an epidemic! Or a repeat.

A repeat epidemic!
2014-08-01 11:50:50 AM  
I heard he was sniffin' lines of repeats.
2014-08-01 11:50:53 AM  
Holy bullshiat.

Step 1) Get caught with cocaine in your system (given it only last three days, he was recently bumping)
Step 2) Concoct some story about coke in the Vaseline, put some coke in some Vaseline
Step 3) Get rehired!

The last thing you want to treat erectile dysfunction is something that will numb your erectile...
2014-08-01 11:56:28 AM  
If he didn't know the "magic sex balm" had coke in it, then why did he use it as an excuse?
2014-08-01 11:56:35 AM  
If you've ejaculated within the last 12 hours, you don't need anything to give you stamina. What, is this guy so homophobic that he can't even masturbate without thinking "I'm giving a dude a handjob!" or something?

Or maybe it's a cokehead who mixed some of his stash in Vaseline so that he'd have an excuse for having the shiat in his system. Which is probably the more likely scenario. More and more, I find it that assuming the worst possible motivation for a cop's misbehavior tends to be the safe way to bet. Petty men getting power leads to corruption, and most would-be cops seem to be petty men who used to be bullies in high school (and want to continue being bullies).
2014-08-01 02:51:33 PM  
SO cops can get away with dropping dirty....

...if they have AN EXCUSE!

/dude, my dog ate my dog ate my dog ate my dog ate my
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