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(Variety)   So, who's ready for a faith-based counterpoint to Fifty Shades of Grey?   (variety.com) divider line 78
    More: Fail, Fifty Shades, Dakota Johnson, President Ma, romance, Valentine's Day  
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2581 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 01 Aug 2014 at 5:23 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-31 11:41:42 PM  
Darn, it's a movie. I was hoping it was going to be a book series. Because you know Christian anti-fan fic of Twilight fan fic would provide us all with TONS of shiatty writing to mock.
 
2014-07-31 11:59:17 PM  
Wasn't that The Passion of the Christ?
 
2014-08-01 12:47:39 AM  
Sure, why not. Kevin Sorbo could use a paycheck, those Hercules residuals aren't paying the bills.
 
2014-08-01 01:23:34 AM  
Fifty Shades of Black and White
 
2014-08-01 02:30:47 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Fifty Shades of Black and White


Brilliant.
 
2014-08-01 02:37:39 AM  
I'm sure plenty of mommies will now get wet for Jesus, as is proper.
 
2014-08-01 04:34:31 AM  
Oh, good. Two movies to avoid at the same time next year.
 
2014-08-01 04:56:23 AM  
Good luck with that.
 
2014-08-01 05:43:05 AM  

Mentat: Wasn't that The Passion of the Christ?


Yes. Yes it was.
 
2014-08-01 06:04:02 AM  
So lets see. Two white people marry right out of high school because their lockers were next to each other. They have sex for the first time on their wedding night with a sheet between them with a hole cut out. They have 7 kids and remain in a loveless, passionless marriage for 30 years until the husband is finally found at a rest stop with George Michael. Credits.

/"Fox is also releasing its Poltergeist reboot"
//Oh, fark you Fox. Fark you in your stupid asses
 
2014-08-01 06:24:00 AM  
Do you think Eve was like the hottest chick ever? After a few generations of inbreeding, the gene pool is probably quite contaminated. Once in a while though, you still see a hot chick walking around. I imagine Eve was like Kate Upton, Kate Hudson, Kim Kardashian, Gabrielle Union and Halle Berry rolled into one gorgeous broad.
 
2014-08-01 06:31:46 AM  

Mugato: So lets see. Two white people marry right out of high school because their lockers were next to each other. They have sex for the first time on their wedding night with a sheet between them with a hole cut out. They have 7 kids and remain in a loveless, passionless marriage for 30 years until the husband is finally found at a rest stop with George Michael. Credits.

/"Fox is also releasing its Poltergeist reboot"
//Oh, fark you Fox. Fark you in your stupid asses


Not bad! The sheet thing is a nice touch. I was thinking; man and woman meet, and exchange a knowing, but fearful glance. Next scene they are on a farm with 11 children, and everyone is quite happy with their meager lot. One day, the husband tells his silent, and subserviant wife that the big man upstairs desires the blood of his youngest child, as an offering. I'm still working on the rest of it, but this could really be old testament HOT!
 
2014-08-01 06:51:09 AM  
Jesus's dating advice (as seen in The Bible):

"Don't date if you're married."
 
2014-08-01 07:00:09 AM  
Is there anything with "faith-based" in the description that isn't utter crap? Just wondering...
 
2014-08-01 07:03:01 AM  
So, beat your wife because some semi-literate goatherders, 2000 years ago, said it was ok?
 
2014-08-01 07:04:58 AM  
I was kinda hoping Kirk Cameron would be involved somehow. I looked forward to the Subway marketing tie in.
 
2014-08-01 07:10:02 AM  
I know very little about 50 Shades of Grey (and I'd like to keep it that way) but from what I understand, isn't it about an abusive relationship? I don't think it's an advertisement for the bondage scene so I don't know what these people think they are counter programming against.

/and the main character's name is "Grey" isn't that clever?
 
2014-08-01 07:27:43 AM  
From the preview I thought it was Mad Men

/same pose
 
2014-08-01 07:29:55 AM  

Rhaab: Is there anything with "faith-based" in the description that isn't utter crap? Just wondering...


Amy Grant is kinda cute and that "Baby Baby" song was sorta catchy
 
2014-08-01 07:30:20 AM  
www.factpile.com
 
2014-08-01 07:32:23 AM  

Brawndo: I was kinda hoping Kirk Cameron would be involved somehow. I looked forward to the Subway marketing tie in.



i.imgur.com
 
2014-08-01 07:33:33 AM  

Prophet of Loss: Jesus's dating advice (as seen in The Bible):

"Don't date if you're married.*"

*Does not apply to mormon fundamentalists.


FTFY
 
2014-08-01 07:35:12 AM  

Mugato: I know very little about 50 Shades of Grey (and I'd like to keep it that way) but from what I understand, isn't it about an abusive relationship? I don't think it's an advertisement for the bondage scene so I don't know what these people think they are counter programming against.

/and the main character's name is "Grey" isn't that clever?


yea, someone sort of missed the whole point

but i bet it'll still be a better love story then twilight or fifty shades of  grey
 
2014-08-01 07:40:59 AM  
Really hip with-it Christian men subscribe to Prayboy. It's like Playboy, but only the articles. And no articles abut sex. But you still want to hide each issue because it's so worldly and has such a cavalier attitude about knowledge.
 
2014-08-01 07:42:28 AM  
I'm seeing it as more of an updated Story of O
 
2014-08-01 07:43:54 AM  

Mugato: I know very little about 50 Shades of Grey (and I'd like to keep it that way) but from what I understand, isn't it about an abusive relationship? I don't think it's an advertisement for the bondage scene so I don't know what these people think they are counter programming against.

/and the main character's name is "Grey" isn't that clever?


Story of O

Updated
 
2014-08-01 08:13:40 AM  
I once dated a chick who had a crucifix vibrator.

Man, she was kinky.
 
2014-08-01 08:18:30 AM  

doczoidberg: I once dated a chick who had a crucifix vibrator.

Man, she was kinky.


Linda Blair?
 
2014-08-01 08:19:07 AM  
50 Shades of Grey started its life as a Twilight fan-fic. That's nearly all you need to know. The rest is that Mr. Grey is rich, and handsome. And RICH.
 
2014-08-01 08:19:36 AM  
Why do I get the feeling that the studio releasing the grey movie is also bankrolling this one?
 
2014-08-01 08:22:44 AM  
Before clicking, I thought it would be a movie about these folks (nsfw).  Now that would have been interesting.
 
2014-08-01 08:25:19 AM  
As an adult female, I can say that the prospect of seeing Guardians of the Galaxy this weekend does it for me more than either of those two movies EVER will.
 
DGS [TotalFark]
2014-08-01 08:38:47 AM  
It'll probably be as true to the bible as Grey was to bdsm.
 
2014-08-01 08:39:07 AM  

Mugato: I know very little about 50 Shades of Grey (and I'd like to keep it that way) but from what I understand, isn't it about an abusive relationship? I don't think it's an advertisement for the bondage scene so I don't know what these people think they are counter programming against.

/and the main character's name is "Grey" isn't that clever?


Yeah, it's a poorly written, novel length rape fantasy.
 
2014-08-01 08:40:59 AM  
Done in 2
 
2014-08-01 08:44:27 AM  

meanmutton: Mugato: I know very little about 50 Shades of Grey (and I'd like to keep it that way) but from what I understand, isn't it about an abusive relationship? I don't think it's an advertisement for the bondage scene so I don't know what these people think they are counter programming against.

/and the main character's name is "Grey" isn't that clever?

Yeah, it's a poorly written, novel length rape fantasy.


Like The Fountainhead?

/yeah, I went there
 
2014-08-01 08:44:58 AM  

fusillade762: Because you know Christian anti-fan fic of Twilight fan fic would provide us all with TONS of shiatty writing to mock.


And, wasn't Twilight just some thinly veiled pro-abstinence propaganda in the first place*, or am I reading more into a story about a teenage girl resisting the charms of a man who has to fight a biological urge when he's near her than most of the fanbase picks up?


*written by a member of the Utah-Based Collective of Wealth Through Faith, no less
 
2014-08-01 08:46:32 AM  

DGS: It'll probably be as true to the bible as Grey was to bdsm.


So, no 40 lashes for jebus, then?
 
2014-08-01 08:54:33 AM  

Mugato: /and the main character's name is "Grey" isn't that clever?


The only clever thing about the book.
 
2014-08-01 09:05:20 AM  
In fairness, I'm not ready for the adaption of the original book either...
 
2014-08-01 09:05:53 AM  
Jesusnado?
 
2014-08-01 09:18:48 AM  

Mugato: I know very little about 50 Shades of Grey (and I'd like to keep it that way) but from what I understand, isn't it about an abusive relationship? I don't think it's an advertisement for the bondage scene so I don't know what these people think they are counter programming against.


The thing is, it blurs the lines more than is really appropriate. The author really did set out to write about bondage; the problem is that she did almost no research on the subject. The final product really is about an abusive relationship, just as you say, but it is presented as an advertisement for the bondage scene by someone who knows nothing about it.
 
2014-08-01 09:23:31 AM  

hubiestubert: In fairness, I'm not ready for the adaption of the original book either...


I saw the trailer last weekend when I went to see Lucy. It looks.. awful.
 
2014-08-01 09:27:51 AM  
One thing I don't get about religous people is this word "Godly" in contexts like the one here. Why does a romance have to be "Godly"? Can't some parts of like just be what they are and, assuming everyone comes out happy, that's good enough for a good person or for any god?

I mean, do you want your kid to only color with "Godly" crayons? How do you choose the "Godly" car when you are shopping for a new one. Is there a "Godly" way to open your mail? If it's only about interactions between people, what would a "Godly" parent/teacher conference be? How would I ask my neighbor to not park in front of my driveway in a "Godly" way? How do I order ice cream in a "Godly" way?

OR, is this just a way for the Chrazy Christers to do what they always do: take something popular and find a way to use it to call attention to themselves and the word "Godly" is really just their way of making themselves feel superior without really having to demonstrate superiority in any objective way?
 
2014-08-01 09:33:19 AM  

gshepnyc: OR, is this just a way for the Chrazy Christers to do what they always do: take something popular and find a way to use it to call attention to themselves and the word "Godly" is really just their way of making themselves feel superior without really having to demonstrate superiority in any objective way?


it's a way for folks who're less sure of their faith to sit there and scream look how much of a christian I am

like how some folks like to wrap themselves in the flag, and guns and jesus to show off their patriotism

their symbolic gesture just shows their lack of knowledge and insecurity more then anything else
 
2014-08-01 09:41:03 AM  

Ooba Tooba: Not bad! The sheet thing is a nice touch. I was thinking; man and woman meet, and exchange a knowing, but fearful glance. Next scene they are on a farm with 11 children, and everyone is quite happy with their meager lot. One day, the husband tells his silent, and subserviant wife that the big man upstairs desires the blood of his youngest child, as an offering. I'm still working on the rest of it, but this could really be old testament HOT!


You should add the part where he has sex with the maid and tells his wife it's God's will he father children on everyone because he is Blessed and because she's just the maid which is little above Cattle and donkeys on the list of heirarchy. And the wife says 'Ok' and they then raise their babies together side by side without any signs of resentment.
 
2014-08-01 09:48:53 AM  
Meh, how much worse than FSoG could it be?
 
2014-08-01 10:01:18 AM  

ConConHead: Ooba Tooba: Not bad! The sheet thing is a nice touch. I was thinking; man and woman meet, and exchange a knowing, but fearful glance. Next scene they are on a farm with 11 children, and everyone is quite happy with their meager lot. One day, the husband tells his silent, and subserviant wife that the big man upstairs desires the blood of his youngest child, as an offering. I'm still working on the rest of it, but this could really be old testament HOT!

You should add the part where he has sex with the maid and tells his wife it's God's will he father children on everyone because he is Blessed and because she's just the maid which is little above Cattle and donkeys on the list of heirarchy. And the wife says 'Ok' and they then raise their babies together side by side without any signs of resentment.


The Good Book is perfectly okay with multiple wives and/or concubines.
 
2014-08-01 10:02:10 AM  
I would rather watch "The Secretary" that movie made my junk wiggle
 
2014-08-01 10:02:45 AM  

regindyn: Meh, how much worse than FSoG could it be?


Did you really just challenge worse?
 
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