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(The Street)   "How about I punch you in your testicles, and then I'll ask you if the pain you're feeling is all in your head?"   (business-news.thestreet.com) divider line 29
    More: Obvious  
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2120 clicks; posted to Business » on 31 Jul 2014 at 2:16 PM (31 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



29 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-07-31 01:39:32 PM  
biatches be wordy.
 
Juc
2014-07-31 02:19:44 PM  
3 pages for a list article, and it's not even a slideshow...
 
2014-07-31 02:53:50 PM  
Full on troll blog post. Nice.

"Does a woman's pregnancy somehow stir up retro opinions that said pregnant woman should be home with a glass of iced tea "

Because medical doctors use this thing called science and medicine to figure out that it is best for pregos to get lots of rest because of how hard pregnancy is on their body.

"While it is both unfortunate and unfair that a pregnant woman handling a full workload is looked at as inferior or weak compared to someone who is not pregnant "

Probably because a prego has better things to do than work, like worry about getting the baby's room ready and other planning. Also, movies and TV shows created by mostly liberals have assured us that pregnancy brain is a real thing and lots of pregos completely lose their short term memory.

"the Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that just 12% of workers in the private industry could access paid family leave."

I'm sure that number is padded by fact that 50% of workers are male and lots of people have minimum wage jobs.

"Do you think your morning sickness could all just be in your head?"

Given that men can get sympathetic pregnancy and have the same symptoms, which are all in their head, pretty sure that is a true statement. Regardless, if you're throwing up for reasons other than an impulse that originated in your head, you need extreme medical attention.

"When her co-worker asked her if it could all just be in her head, Rodriguez took a stand for pregnant women everywhere by retorting with, ""How about I punch you in your testicles, and then I'll ask you if the pain you're feeling is all in your head?" "

Which proves how irrational pregnant women are and is a good example why they shouldn't be in the workplace. I could go on, but that line pretty much makes the case. HR should have fired her on the spot and reported her to the police for threatening sexual assault on a coworker.
 
2014-07-31 02:59:05 PM  
Once a year I overdo it and get the kind of hangover that absolutely crushes my will to live. Headache and that nagging nausea that won't go away.

This is what a tough pregnancy is like, according to my wife.

Mad props to the ladies who deal with that shiat.
 
2014-07-31 03:20:51 PM  

Bullseyed: I could go on


Oh please do.  I'm dying to read more
 
2014-07-31 03:39:36 PM  
i've heard having a baby natuallly is like pushing a potatoe thru a straw.   no thanks.
 
2014-07-31 03:41:15 PM  
Eh - I'm all for equality.  Really, I am.  I don't care what gender you are.  If you can do a job, good for you.  If you can't do some job, oh well.  There are lots of jobs I can't do.  Gender doesn't matter.  Ability does.  My wife and I are equals and I wouldn't have it any other way.

But I hate pregnant chicks at work.  I'm in the EU, maybe things are different in the US....but I have two co-workers who are currently on maternity leave.  It's like 26 weeks paid - basically 6 months.  One of the girls is on her fourth child.  They are also entitled to another 16 weeks unpaid.  I think it's insane - the company can't fire her, but she does no work.  She has a baby, disappears for nearly a year, comes back for 9-15 months, and then does it again.  When she's in the office, her performance is horrible.  She just doesn't care.  She under-performs but knows nobody can call her on it.  Each time she comes back from maternity leave, whatever project she was on has been done.  Most of what she knows is out of date.  She's like a new hire, but one who doesn't care.  The law makes her virtually untouchable, so long as she shows up.  If they fire her for 'poor performance' right as she's approaching another maternity leave, that's a slam-dunk lawsuit for her lawyer.  If they fire her when the first comes back, they're punishing her for using the maternity benefit, 'Of course I'm not up to speed on things, I was gone for the last 10 months!  They didn't give me a chance, they just fired me!'.

Everyone just rolls their eyes at the situation.  On paper, she has 7-8 years of software development...but the truth is she's behind most of the college graduates we get.  But we can't fire her.  She's 'unofficially' commented to a coworker than she wants 4 or 5 kids, but she's not sure if she'll keep working when she's done.  I don't know how true that is, but it seems likely she'll quit once she's done with the kids, but honestly, either way, the company/her coworkers are getting the shaft.

The other girl is pretty competent.  It's her first kid.  Still, it's been six months since she's been in the office and between her and the other chick, the 'team' of 10 of us have 8 active workers.  If they quit, we'd hire more people....but we can't cause we have to keep their position available.

If you want to stay home and do whatever (have kids, play video games, whatever) - go for it.  Best of luck.  But this system we have, it really sucks.
 
2014-07-31 03:44:38 PM  
I know every woman is different, ect.  But every woman I have known has become increasingly unpleasant to be around the closer they came to term.  I don't blame them.  From what I can tell the entire process appears to be incredibly uncomfortable, unpleasant, and exhausting.  Given that degree of daily strain, It would be unfair to expect them to be all sunshine and roses.  I just want to avoid them.  So, when there are pregnant women in my workplace or social strata, I do everything in my power to minimize my contact with them.
 
2014-07-31 03:46:17 PM  
Isn't all pain technically entirely felt in your head?
 
2014-07-31 04:00:46 PM  
I thought fat people were supposed to be jolly.
 
2014-07-31 04:05:15 PM  

Fark_Guy_Rob: Eh - I'm all for equality.  Really, I am.  I don't care what gender you are.  If you can do a job, good for you.  If you can't do some job, oh well.  There are lots of jobs I can't do.  Gender doesn't matter.  Ability does.  My wife and I are equals and I wouldn't have it any other way.

But I hate pregnant chicks at work.  I'm in the EU, maybe things are different in the US....but I have two co-workers who are currently on maternity leave.  It's like 26 weeks paid - basically 6 months.  One of the girls is on her fourth child.  They are also entitled to another 16 weeks unpaid.  I think it's insane - the company can't fire her, but she does no work.  She has a baby, disappears for nearly a year, comes back for 9-15 months, and then does it again.  When she's in the office, her performance is horrible.  She just doesn't care.  She under-performs but knows nobody can call her on it.  Each time she comes back from maternity leave, whatever project she was on has been done.  Most of what she knows is out of date.  She's like a new hire, but one who doesn't care.  The law makes her virtually untouchable, so long as she shows up.  If they fire her for 'poor performance' right as she's approaching another maternity leave, that's a slam-dunk lawsuit for her lawyer.  If they fire her when the first comes back, they're punishing her for using the maternity benefit, 'Of course I'm not up to speed on things, I was gone for the last 10 months!  They didn't give me a chance, they just fired me!'.

Everyone just rolls their eyes at the situation.  On paper, she has 7-8 years of software development...but the truth is she's behind most of the college graduates we get.  But we can't fire her.  She's 'unofficially' commented to a coworker than she wants 4 or 5 kids, but she's not sure if she'll keep working when she's done.  I don't know how true that is, but it seems likely she'll quit once she's done with the kids, but honestly, either way, the company/her coworkers are getting the shaft.

The other girl is pretty competent.  It's her first kid.  Still, it's been six months since she's been in the office and between her and the other chick, the 'team' of 10 of us have 8 active workers.  If they quit, we'd hire more people....but we can't cause we have to keep their position available.

If you want to stay home and do whatever (have kids, play video games, whatever) - go for it.  Best of luck.  But this system we have, it really sucks.


Preach!

If the US goes to this policy, I'll weep openly.

Making private industry support pregnancy directly in this way is goofy.

Tax things, let the government pay, but don't make us keep someone on payroll who is not working, and don't make us guarantee their job when they get back.

If it's good for SOCIETY, let society pay. It surely isn't good for the company at a micro level, and should not be paid for as such.
 
2014-07-31 04:09:49 PM  
No the pain isn't felt in my head, but the nearby balls. Don't you understand anatomy?
 
2014-07-31 04:40:54 PM  

DKinMN: Fark_Guy_Rob: Eh - I'm all for equality.  Really, I am.  I don't care what gender you are.  If you can do a job, good for you.  If you can't do some job, oh well.  There are lots of jobs I can't do.  Gender doesn't matter.  Ability does.  My wife and I are equals and I wouldn't have it any other way.

But I hate pregnant chicks at work.  I'm in the EU, maybe things are different in the US....but I have two co-workers who are currently on maternity leave.  It's like 26 weeks paid - basically 6 months.  One of the girls is on her fourth child.  They are also entitled to another 16 weeks unpaid.  I think it's insane - the company can't fire her, but she does no work.  She has a baby, disappears for nearly a year, comes back for 9-15 months, and then does it again.  When she's in the office, her performance is horrible.  She just doesn't care.  She under-performs but knows nobody can call her on it.  Each time she comes back from maternity leave, whatever project she was on has been done.  Most of what she knows is out of date.  She's like a new hire, but one who doesn't care.  The law makes her virtually untouchable, so long as she shows up.  If they fire her for 'poor performance' right as she's approaching another maternity leave, that's a slam-dunk lawsuit for her lawyer.  If they fire her when the first comes back, they're punishing her for using the maternity benefit, 'Of course I'm not up to speed on things, I was gone for the last 10 months!  They didn't give me a chance, they just fired me!'.

Everyone just rolls their eyes at the situation.  On paper, she has 7-8 years of software development...but the truth is she's behind most of the college graduates we get.  But we can't fire her.  She's 'unofficially' commented to a coworker than she wants 4 or 5 kids, but she's not sure if she'll keep working when she's done.  I don't know how true that is, but it seems likely she'll quit once she's done with the kids, but honestly, either way, the company/her coworkers are getting the shaft.

The other girl is pretty competent.  It's her first kid.  Still, it's been six months since she's been in the office and between her and the other chick, the 'team' of 10 of us have 8 active workers.  If they quit, we'd hire more people....but we can't cause we have to keep their position available.

If you want to stay home and do whatever (have kids, play video games, whatever) - go for it.  Best of luck.  But this system we have, it really sucks.

Preach!

If the US goes to this policy, I'll weep openly.

Making private industry support pregnancy directly in this way is goofy.

Tax things, let the government pay, but don't make us keep someone on payroll who is not working, and don't make us guarantee their job when they get back.

If it's good for SOCIETY, let society pay. It surely isn't good for the company at a micro level, and should not be paid for as such.


Then how is a woman who had a baby ever supposed to get a new job after the first one? Her job knowledge is out of date, and she is perceived as a less desirable employee because kid complications may interfere with her work. Without securing her job during pregnancy, a woman would basically have to retire until the child started school, and then get new job training - possibly having to jump career fields. No household can afford that. And kids are pretty necessary to the perpetuation of the economy/country/human race.
 
2014-07-31 04:47:44 PM  

DKinMN: It surely isn't good for the company at a micro level


Companies have 20 years of experience dealing with the FMLA, and when surveyed they disagree with your statement.
 
2014-07-31 05:00:12 PM  

DKinMN: Fark_Guy_Rob: Eh - I'm all for equality.  Really, I am.  I don't care what gender you are.  If you can do a job, good for you.  If you can't do some job, oh well.  There are lots of jobs I can't do.  Gender doesn't matter.  Ability does.  My wife and I are equals and I wouldn't have it any other way.

But I hate pregnant chicks at work.  I'm in the EU, maybe things are different in the US....but I have two co-workers who are currently on maternity leave.  It's like 26 weeks paid - basically 6 months.  One of the girls is on her fourth child.  They are also entitled to another 16 weeks unpaid.  I think it's insane - the company can't fire her, but she does no work.  She has a baby, disappears for nearly a year, comes back for 9-15 months, and then does it again.  When she's in the office, her performance is horrible.  She just doesn't care.  She under-performs but knows nobody can call her on it.  Each time she comes back from maternity leave, whatever project she was on has been done.  Most of what she knows is out of date.  She's like a new hire, but one who doesn't care.  The law makes her virtually untouchable, so long as she shows up.  If they fire her for 'poor performance' right as she's approaching another maternity leave, that's a slam-dunk lawsuit for her lawyer.  If they fire her when the first comes back, they're punishing her for using the maternity benefit, 'Of course I'm not up to speed on things, I was gone for the last 10 months!  They didn't give me a chance, they just fired me!'.

Everyone just rolls their eyes at the situation.  On paper, she has 7-8 years of software development...but the truth is she's behind most of the college graduates we get.  But we can't fire her.  She's 'unofficially' commented to a coworker than she wants 4 or 5 kids, but she's not sure if she'll keep working when she's done.  I don't know how true that is, but it seems likely she'll quit once she's done with the kids, but honestly, either way, the company/her coworkers are getting the shaft.

The other girl is pretty competent.  It's her first kid.  Still, it's been six months since she's been in the office and between her and the other chick, the 'team' of 10 of us have 8 active workers.  If they quit, we'd hire more people....but we can't cause we have to keep their position available.

If you want to stay home and do whatever (have kids, play video games, whatever) - go for it.  Best of luck.  But this system we have, it really sucks.

Preach!

If the US goes to this policy, I'll weep openly.

Making private industry support pregnancy directly in this way is goofy.

Tax things, let the government pay, but don't make us keep someone on payroll who is not working, and don't make us guarantee their job when they get back.

If it's good for SOCIETY, let society pay. It surely isn't good for the company at a micro level, and should not be paid for as such.


Hobby Lobby agrees with you.
 
2014-07-31 06:29:41 PM  

quizzical: DKinMN: Fark_Guy_Rob: Eh - I'm all for equality.  Really, I am.  I don't care what gender you are.  If you can do a job, good for you.  If you can't do some job, oh well.  There are lots of jobs I can't do.  Gender doesn't matter.  Ability does.  My wife and I are equals and I wouldn't have it any other way.

But I hate pregnant chicks at work.  I'm in the EU, maybe things are different in the US....but I have two co-workers who are currently on maternity leave.  It's like 26 weeks paid - basically 6 months.  One of the girls is on her fourth child.  They are also entitled to another 16 weeks unpaid.  I think it's insane - the company can't fire her, but she does no work.  She has a baby, disappears for nearly a year, comes back for 9-15 months, and then does it again.  When she's in the office, her performance is horrible.  She just doesn't care.  She under-performs but knows nobody can call her on it.  Each time she comes back from maternity leave, whatever project she was on has been done.  Most of what she knows is out of date.  She's like a new hire, but one who doesn't care.  The law makes her virtually untouchable, so long as she shows up.  If they fire her for 'poor performance' right as she's approaching another maternity leave, that's a slam-dunk lawsuit for her lawyer.  If they fire her when the first comes back, they're punishing her for using the maternity benefit, 'Of course I'm not up to speed on things, I was gone for the last 10 months!  They didn't give me a chance, they just fired me!'.

Everyone just rolls their eyes at the situation.  On paper, she has 7-8 years of software development...but the truth is she's behind most of the college graduates we get.  But we can't fire her.  She's 'unofficially' commented to a coworker than she wants 4 or 5 kids, but she's not sure if she'll keep working when she's done.  I don't know how true that is, but it seems likely she'll quit once she's done with the kids, but honestly, either way, the company/her coworkers are getting the shaft.

The other girl is pretty competent.  It's her first kid.  Still, it's been six months since she's been in the office and between her and the other chick, the 'team' of 10 of us have 8 active workers.  If they quit, we'd hire more people....but we can't cause we have to keep their position available.

If you want to stay home and do whatever (have kids, play video games, whatever) - go for it.  Best of luck.  But this system we have, it really sucks.

Preach!

If the US goes to this policy, I'll weep openly.

Making private industry support pregnancy directly in this way is goofy.

Tax things, let the government pay, but don't make us keep someone on payroll who is not working, and don't make us guarantee their job when they get back.

If it's good for SOCIETY, let society pay. It surely isn't good for the company at a micro level, and should not be paid for as such.

Then how is a woman who had a baby ever supposed to get a new job after the first one? Her job knowledge is out of date, and she is perceived as a less desirable employee because kid complications may interfere with her work. Without securing her job during pregnancy, a woman would basically have to retire until the child started school, and then get new job training - possibly having to jump career fields. No household can afford that. And kids are pretty necessary to the perpetuation of the economy/country/human race.


If your skills are out of date, regardless of the reason, then they are out of date.

The company and its clients/customers shouldn't be told to behave as if they are not.

If I call an IT consulting firm, I expect expertise, not someone who is retaining their position as an expert by statute.
 
2014-07-31 06:42:08 PM  

nelsonal: Isn't all pain technically entirely felt in your head?


I thought there were studies that showed how your body can react to pain before the signal can possibly reach the brain.  Something about the spinal column doing some of the signal processing.  Or maybe I just made that up.  I'm not sure...
 
2014-07-31 06:44:07 PM  

quizzical: Then how is a woman who had a baby ever supposed to get a new job after the first one? Her job knowledge is out of date, and she is perceived as a less desirable employee because kid complications may interfere with her work.


It is possible to study about your career field and keep current from home.
 
2014-07-31 07:33:31 PM  
"Do you think we care as much about your baby as you do? Just because you let some useless tosser blow his beans up your muff. Well done, merry farking Christmas."
 
2014-07-31 07:50:21 PM  

Beeblebrox: quizzical: Then how is a woman who had a baby ever supposed to get a new job after the first one? Her job knowledge is out of date, and she is perceived as a less desirable employee because kid complications may interfere with her work.

It is possible to study about your career field and keep current from home.>>


And this is where equality becomes unequal.

If I were having a normal, run of the mill pregnancy, and I were getting paid my full salary, I'd use part of that salary, and some of what MUST be a bit of free time, to seek accreditation or other education not available to the people being paid to work.

It's entirely possible to take a few credits here and there or take some professional development courses online while laid up with pregnancy or a small child. So, not only can were you paid your salary while not working, and can not be treated any differently than someone who was working while you were not, but you could hypothetically have been working at professional development that puts you in a better spot (at least on paper) than the people at work.

I think, as a customer or client, I should expect nothing more than what I'm paying for. If someone is being presented to me as an equal to the people who have been working in the field, then they darn well better be. True equality means being treated according to your ability or achievement. If a woman reentering the work force after months and months away is not performing at a level befitting the job, I don't know what I'm supposed to do about that.

Everyone should just ditch all of the targeted programs and provide a universal minimum income. After that, it's up to your ability, education, skill, and hard work. I'm sorry that biology dictates that women are pregnant and give birth. I just don't know how to justify keeping people who are more suited for a position, be they a man or a non-birthing woman, away from achieving what they have earned because we need to treat mothers "equally".
 
2014-07-31 07:57:36 PM  

Bullseyed: Full on troll blog post. Nice.

"Does a woman's pregnancy somehow stir up retro opinions that said pregnant woman should be home with a glass of iced tea "

Because medical doctors use this thing called science and medicine to figure out that it is best for pregos to get lots of rest because of how hard pregnancy is on their body.

"While it is both unfortunate and unfair that a pregnant woman handling a full workload is looked at as inferior or weak compared to someone who is not pregnant "

Probably because a prego has better things to do than work, like worry about getting the baby's room ready and other planning. Also, movies and TV shows created by mostly liberals have assured us that pregnancy brain is a real thing and lots of pregos completely lose their short term memory.

"the Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that just 12% of workers in the private industry could access paid family leave."

I'm sure that number is padded by fact that 50% of workers are male and lots of people have minimum wage jobs.

"Do you think your morning sickness could all just be in your head?"

Given that men can get sympathetic pregnancy and have the same symptoms, which are all in their head, pretty sure that is a true statement. Regardless, if you're throwing up for reasons other than an impulse that originated in your head, you need extreme medical attention.

"When her co-worker asked her if it could all just be in her head, Rodriguez took a stand for pregnant women everywhere by retorting with, ""How about I punch you in your testicles, and then I'll ask you if the pain you're feeling is all in your head?" "

Which proves how irrational pregnant women are and is a good example why they shouldn't be in the workplace. I could go on, but that line pretty much makes the case. HR should have fired her on the spot and reported her to the police for threatening sexual assault on a coworker.


Your troll is the best I've seen in quite some time.
Bravo!!
10/10
/golf clap
 
2014-07-31 08:02:50 PM  
Author of TFA sounds like she's got pregnancy brain.

And the testicle-punching retort only really works if it's the coworker hitting himself.
 
2014-07-31 08:05:01 PM  

DKinMN: If it's good for SOCIETY, let society pay. It surely isn't good for the company at a micro level, and should not be paid for as such.


So you're telling us that your company isn't good for society? And yet, here they are expecting citizens of said society to make their money for them? Good luck with that one.
 
2014-07-31 08:40:14 PM  
i291.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-31 09:10:07 PM  

Bullseyed: Full on troll blog post. Nice.

"Does a woman's pregnancy somehow stir up retro opinions that said pregnant woman should be home with a glass of iced tea "

Because medical doctors use this thing called science and medicine to figure out that it is best for pregos to get lots of rest because of how hard pregnancy is on their body.

"While it is both unfortunate and unfair that a pregnant woman handling a full workload is looked at as inferior or weak compared to someone who is not pregnant "

Probably because a prego has better things to do than work, like worry about getting the baby's room ready and other planning. Also, movies and TV shows created by mostly liberals have assured us that pregnancy brain is a real thing and lots of pregos completely lose their short term memory.


img.fark.net
 
2014-07-31 11:13:24 PM  

Beeblebrox: quizzical: Then how is a woman who had a baby ever supposed to get a new job after the first one? Her job knowledge is out of date, and she is perceived as a less desirable employee because kid complications may interfere with her work.

It is possible to study about your career field and keep current from home.


Full disclosure: I just had a baby. At eleven weeks, NOW I am starting to be able to have some free time during the day. And you know what I am doing with that time? Going back to work on Monday.
 
2014-08-01 03:37:35 AM  

quizzical: At eleven weeks, NOW I am starting to be able to have some free time during the day.


Funny. My experience with children is that you start to lose free time as they get older not gain it.

You know they just lay there for...like a year or something, right?
 
2014-08-01 09:23:08 AM  
The best is; Did you gain weight?
 
2014-08-01 09:41:08 AM  

Fark_Guy_Rob: Eh - I'm all for equality.  Really, I am.  I don't care what gender you are.  If you can do a job, good for you.  If you can't do some job, oh well.  There are lots of jobs I can't do.  Gender doesn't matter.  Ability does.  My wife and I are equals and I wouldn't have it any other way.

But I hate pregnant chicks at work.  I'm in the EU, maybe things are different in the US....but I have two co-workers who are currently on maternity leave.  It's like 26 weeks paid - basically 6 months.  One of the girls is on her fourth child.  They are also entitled to another 16 weeks unpaid.  I think it's insane - the company can't fire her, but she does no work.  She has a baby, disappears for nearly a year, comes back for 9-15 months, and then does it again.  When she's in the office, her performance is horrible.  She just doesn't care.  She under-performs but knows nobody can call her on it.  Each time she comes back from maternity leave, whatever project she was on has been done.  Most of what she knows is out of date.  She's like a new hire, but one who doesn't care.  The law makes her virtually untouchable, so long as she shows up.  If they fire her for 'poor performance' right as she's approaching another maternity leave, that's a slam-dunk lawsuit for her lawyer.  If they fire her when the first comes back, they're punishing her for using the maternity benefit, 'Of course I'm not up to speed on things, I was gone for the last 10 months!  They didn't give me a chance, they just fired me!'.

Everyone just rolls their eyes at the situation.  On paper, she has 7-8 years of software development...but the truth is she's behind most of the college graduates we get.  But we can't fire her.  She's 'unofficially' commented to a coworker than she wants 4 or 5 kids, but she's not sure if she'll keep working when she's done.  I don't know how true that is, but it seems likely she'll quit once she's done with the kids, but honestly, either way, the company/her coworkers are getting th ...


There should be a middle ground, eh?  I mean, maternity leave is important, right?  But work experience and such is also important.  What would the appropriate change be?  Diminishing returns on maternity leave for each child after the first?  Maternity leave doesn't legally count toward seniority or work experience?  There is obviously an issue when someone overuses their maternity leave but should it affect a professional who only uses it once or twice?  What is the fix?
 
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