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(Slate)   Dear Prudence: I told my mother I was joining a dating website. She was curious and started checking it out. She is now pretending to be a 28 year-old woman and is catfishing a guy. And I'm not getting a single message. What do I do?   (slate.com ) divider line
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6970 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jul 2014 at 10:00 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-31 08:11:14 AM  
What terrible advice. Catfish is more like a canidru.

www.darkbanquet.com

AmIright?
 
2014-07-31 08:14:03 AM  
Put out more.
 
2014-07-31 08:49:47 AM  
Set up a fake account and catfish your mom's catfish?
 
2014-07-31 09:00:36 AM  

Diogenes: Set up a fake account and catfish your mom's catfish?


It's the only way.
 
2014-07-31 10:02:26 AM  
Catfishing.
Is that where you put both hands in up to the elbows?
 
2014-07-31 10:03:04 AM  
Come out and play.
 
2014-07-31 10:05:03 AM  
The article in Slut Magazine was better worse. I catfished myself and now am so very confused.
 
2014-07-31 10:05:35 AM  
One: stop making shiat up for Prudie.
Two: put out.
 
2014-07-31 10:06:12 AM  
Three way.
 
2014-07-31 10:07:27 AM  
Maybe she should go noodling with her mom.
 
2014-07-31 10:08:33 AM  
It seems to me that if you aren't getting any bites, it's because your profile sucks.  That is, you are an ugly, greasy slob, with no personality.  Or something.  So to overcome this, you lie about yourself.  Make yourself look like Brad Pitt with the intellect of Neil DeGrass Tyson.  Then you'll get hits.  You can always explain yourself later.
 
2014-07-31 10:08:40 AM  

dittybopper: Put out more.


This!  Her mom is just trolling for cock, the chick is looking for a relationship.  One of these is easier to do.
 
2014-07-31 10:09:19 AM  
Your profile pic needs more duckface.
 
2014-07-31 10:10:18 AM  
Which farker writes to this woman
 
2014-07-31 10:10:50 AM  
Is catfishing where she uses stink bait?
 
2014-07-31 10:13:15 AM  

What her mother does not look like while cat fishing:

ww3.hdnux.com

 
2014-07-31 10:14:03 AM  
I would advise not answering any replies from suspiciously perfect 28 year old women then.
 
2014-07-31 10:14:11 AM  
www.thejump.net
She sounds fat.
 
2014-07-31 10:15:16 AM  
"I appreciate your bringing up the opportunity to recommend the compelling documentary, Catfish"

Documentaries are made to provide a "factual record or report." Catfish was entirely fake. The creators eventually even admitted to it.
 
2014-07-31 10:16:58 AM  

durbnpoisn: It seems to me that if you aren't getting any bites, it's because your profile sucks.  That is, you are an ugly, greasy slob, with no personality.  Or something.  So to overcome this, you lie about yourself.  Make yourself look like Brad Pitt with the intellect of Neil DeGrass Tyson.  Then you'll get hits.  You can always explain yourself later.


everyone has at least one good story. Just put a positive spin on the truth and you'll be fine. Think of Lionel hutz in Realty bites.
 
2014-07-31 10:20:00 AM  
Forgive me... maybe I've been out of the scene for too long... or am just getting "old"... but what exactly does "catfishing" mean in this context??
 
2014-07-31 10:25:52 AM  
It's almost as if an older person is leveraging personal experience to give them an advantage.
 
2014-07-31 10:27:58 AM  

jbrad47128: Forgive me... maybe I've been out of the scene for too long... or am just getting "old"... but what exactly does "catfishing" mean in this context??


You sink your arm into a wet slick hole all the way up to your shoulder.  Sometimes you go so deep that you have to hold your breath.  When you pull it out it is all slimy and smells like fish.
 
2014-07-31 10:28:14 AM  
Your mom needs to get a life, you should move out, move out far away and cut her off from your life.
 
2014-07-31 10:33:47 AM  

jbrad47128: Forgive me... maybe I've been out of the scene for too long... or am just getting "old"... but what exactly does "catfishing" mean in this context??


This might explain it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catfish_%28film%29

Basically, creating one or more social media accounts with fake personas for the purpose of capturing and manipulating someone's interest in you.
 
2014-07-31 10:33:59 AM  
You still readin' Slate?
 
2014-07-31 10:34:13 AM  

jbrad47128: Forgive me... maybe I've been out of the scene for too long... or am just getting "old"... but what exactly does "catfishing" mean in this context??


When you create a fake personality online usually for dating purposes or for supporting your own arguments in Fark Politics threads.
 
2014-07-31 10:34:53 AM  
done in 2
 
2014-07-31 10:36:05 AM  

Moopy Mac: "I appreciate your bringing up the opportunity to recommend the compelling documentary, Catfish"

Documentaries are made to provide a "factual record or report." Catfish was entirely fake. The creators eventually even admitted to it.


Even if it were the most truthful, compelling stories ever put to film, I couldn't watch it because of the way the "filmmakers" always put at least one other camera in every shot. Is Xzibit an executive producer or cinematography consultant?
 
2014-07-31 10:38:19 AM  
Do what evidently people do in relationships: lie like mad.
 
2014-07-31 10:39:27 AM  

jbrad47128: Forgive me... maybe I've been out of the scene for too long... or am just getting "old"... but what exactly does "catfishing" mean in this context??


I had to look it up too. Fortunately, Urban Dictionary has it. Basically, Catfishing is lying online about who you are to some end; in this case, she created an enticing online persona on a dating website.
 
2014-07-31 10:40:09 AM  
Step 1: Be attractive
 
2014-07-31 10:48:26 AM  
Just post that you like cock. Lots of it. If there was a cock buffet, you would sample each item six or seven times - and that is just the first ten minutes you are there. You make up new holes for guys to stick their manchicken in. You don't bother ordering steak anymore as your protein intake rivals that of a streak of well-fed tigers. Seamen jokes don't faze you because you have blown the entire ship.Cock cock cock cock cock.You love cock.Like a roaring rooster, "Any cock'll do"\penis
 
2014-07-31 11:05:18 AM  

Because People in power are Stupid: What terrible advice. Catfish is more like a canidru.

[www.darkbanquet.com image 340x497]

AmIright?



Um, yeah...


The good news is that, even with millions of people living in Amazonia, and millions of tourists visiting each year, well-documented cases of candiru infestation simply do not exist - contrary to the horror stories you may see and hear on television and over the Internet. - Candiru - A "Don't Pee in the Water" Horror Story Debunked

i651.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-31 11:06:41 AM  

K3rmy: Just post that you like cock. Lots of it. If there was a cock buffet, you would sample each item six or seven times - and that is just the first ten minutes you are there. You make up new holes for guys to stick their manchicken in. You don't bother ordering steak anymore as your protein intake rivals that of a streak of well-fed tigers. Seamen jokes don't faze you because you have blown the entire ship.Cock cock cock cock cock.You love cock.Like a roaring rooster, "Any cock'll do"\penis


cant. stop. laughing.
 
2014-07-31 11:08:16 AM  
My thanks to all who clarified what that meant.
 
2014-07-31 12:03:21 PM  

safetycap: Um, yeah...


You should test out your little theory. Go there, try to get infected and when you don't -you would have proven it to the entire internet. In fact, that is how you win at the internet.
 
2014-07-31 12:09:30 PM  

K3rmy: Just post that you like cock. Lots of it. If there was a cock buffet, you would sample each item six or seven times - and that is just the first ten minutes you are there. You make up new holes for guys to stick their manchicken in. You don't bother ordering steak anymore as your protein intake rivals that of a streak of well-fed tigers. Seamen jokes don't faze you because you have blown the entire ship.Cock cock cock cock cock.You love cock.Like a roaring rooster, "Any cock'll do"\penis


Aaaaaaaaaall righty then.

Half the weirdness here is that her mom's profile is heavily based on her own daughter, but she gets more hits.  I'm willing to bet that "honest profile" will be beat by "catfish profile designed to lure suckers" every time, as long as what you're fishing for is desperate, below average IQ losers like the one mom here seems to have reeled in.

If mom gets shot and skinned in a cabin somewhere by her internet buddy, I guess everyone will have learned a gosh darn good lesson.
 
2014-07-31 12:22:53 PM  
FTFA: I know this guy owns guns and I'm scared for her if he ever finds out she's not who she's pretending to be.

Seriously, that's where she went with it?  :-P  Some poor plinker finds a shoulder to lean on for a little bit, and this woman's daughter assumes he's going to go homicidal?
 
2014-07-31 12:24:55 PM  
Anyone remember the fark story that involved a 40ish woman who made up an elaborate fantasy world online that she used to lure in lonely women and then have their fake profile die abruptly?  The catfisher, in that article, claimed that she was a male forest fire fighter who raised blind llamas and was raped as a child.  After spinning the story for God knows how much time, she used one of the fake profiles, a family member, to tell the deceived woman that her fictional fire fighter had died in a blaze.

The truth eventually came out and the faker was confronted but she didn't apologize or provide any explanation really for the elaborate hoax.
 
2014-07-31 12:49:13 PM  
Pretend to be your Father and start a game of cat and fish of your own.
 
2014-07-31 12:53:13 PM  

Gergesa: Anyone remember the fark story that involved a 40ish woman who made up an elaborate fantasy world online that she used to lure in lonely women and then have their fake profile die abruptly?  The catfisher, in that article, claimed that she was a male forest fire fighter who raised blind llamas and was raped as a child.  After spinning the story for God knows how much time, she used one of the fake profiles, a family member, to tell the deceived woman that her fictional fire fighter had died in a blaze.

The truth eventually came out and the faker was confronted but she didn't apologize or provide any explanation really for the elaborate hoax.



A coont punt would have been appropriate.  And not a simple one either.  A "Behind by 2, ball is on the 48 yard line and there is only three seconds left in the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl" kick.
 
2014-07-31 01:04:01 PM  

Moopy Mac: "I appreciate your bringing up the opportunity to recommend the compelling documentary, Catfish"

Documentaries are made to provide a "factual record or report." Catfish was entirely fake. The creators eventually even admitted to it.


So, perfect for Prudie, right?
 
2014-07-31 01:09:54 PM  

K3rmy: Just post that you like cock. Lots of it. If there was a cock buffet, you would sample each item six or seven times - and that is just the first ten minutes you are there. You make up new holes for guys to stick their manchicken in. You don't bother ordering steak anymore as your protein intake rivals that of a streak of well-fed tigers. Seamen jokes don't faze you because you have blown the entire ship.Cock cock cock cock cock.You love cock.Like a roaring rooster, "Any cock'll do"\penis

i.imgur.com

New message!

carlosdanger says:
          How YOU doin'?
 
2014-07-31 01:19:15 PM  

stevarooni: FTFA: I know this guy owns guns and I'm scared for her if he ever finds out she's not who she's pretending to be.

Seriously, that's where she went with it?  :-P  Some poor plinker finds a shoulder to lean on for a little bit, and this woman's daughter assumes he's going to go homicidal?


Because, this is America, any unaccompanied male is immediately suspected of being a child molester or gun criminal just waiting to asplode. Any single male is presumed to be automatically broken and desperate.
 
2014-07-31 01:29:54 PM  

Lochsteppe: jbrad47128: Forgive me... maybe I've been out of the scene for too long... or am just getting "old"... but what exactly does "catfishing" mean in this context??

This might explain it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catfish_%28film%29

Basically, creating one or more social media accounts with fake personas for the purpose of capturing and manipulating someone's interest in you.


so in other words like farkers?
 
2014-07-31 02:09:42 PM  

K3rmy: Gergesa: Anyone remember the fark story that involved a 40ish woman who made up an elaborate fantasy world online that she used to lure in lonely women and then have their fake profile die abruptly?  The catfisher, in that article, claimed that she was a male forest fire fighter who raised blind llamas and was raped as a child.  After spinning the story for God knows how much time, she used one of the fake profiles, a family member, to tell the deceived woman that her fictional fire fighter had died in a blaze.

The truth eventually came out and the faker was confronted but she didn't apologize or provide any explanation really for the elaborate hoax.


A coont punt would have been appropriate.  And not a simple one either.  A "Behind by 2, ball is on the 48 yard line and there is only three seconds left in the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl" kick.


That is a mighty kick.
 
2014-07-31 02:14:57 PM  

durbnpoisn: It seems to me that if you aren't getting any bites, it's because your profile sucks.  That is, you are an ugly, greasy slob, with no personality.  Or something.  So to overcome this, you lie about yourself.  Make yourself look like Brad Pitt with the intellect of Neil DeGrass Tyson.  Then you'll get hits.  You can always explain yourself later.


A profile can suck and not actually reflect the person.  Recently I was worried about my job and spent a lot of effort sprucing up my Linkedin page.  They actually give good advice on things you can add to make your profile more interesting and complete.  I haven't online dated in a very long time but there were plenty of 1-paragraph profiles with absolutely no content whatsoever.  If you can't spend a few hours putting your best work into your profile, it most likely IS going to suck.  You are advertising yourself, if you have no skill for marketing, grab a marketing book from the library and get some ideas of things you can do.  Think about what your audience would like to know and give them that information.  Don't look at it as an obligation you can slack off with and expect results.
 
2014-07-31 02:53:25 PM  

stevarooni: FTFA: I know this guy owns guns and I'm scared for her if he ever finds out she's not who she's pretending to be.

Seriously, that's where she went with it?  :-P  Some poor plinker finds a shoulder to lean on for a little bit, and this woman's daughter assumes he's going to go homicidal?


Women in America are 11x more likely to die by gun fire due to domestic violence in the hands of someone they know, compared to the rest of the world, so yeah.
 
2014-07-31 02:57:29 PM  

dj245: durbnpoisn: It seems to me that if you aren't getting any bites, it's because your profile sucks.  That is, you are an ugly, greasy slob, with no personality.  Or something.  So to overcome this, you lie about yourself.  Make yourself look like Brad Pitt with the intellect of Neil DeGrass Tyson.  Then you'll get hits.  You can always explain yourself later.

A profile can suck and not actually reflect the person.  Recently I was worried about my job and spent a lot of effort sprucing up my Linkedin page.  They actually give good advice on things you can add to make your profile more interesting and complete.  I haven't online dated in a very long time but there were plenty of 1-paragraph profiles with absolutely no content whatsoever.  If you can't spend a few hours putting your best work into your profile, it most likely IS going to suck.  You are advertising yourself, if you have no skill for marketing, grab a marketing book from the library and get some ideas of things you can do.  Think about what your audience would like to know and give them that information.  Don't look at it as an obligation you can slack off with and expect results.


Absolutely this.Before I met my wife, I worked on my okcupid account constantly. Reading other accounts was often dull and I noticed how much time I spent reading interesting profiles of women I had zero interest in just because the approach was written well.
 
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