Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The New Yorker)   Sure it saved your life, but it doomed your soul to Hell. Make a Will save or convert to Jesus on the spot   (newyorker.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, Dungeons & Dragons, David Lindsay-Abaire, Gary Gygax, Bothered About Dungeons & Dragons, Wizards of the Coast, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Ursula K. Le Guin, fictional world  
•       •       •

4226 clicks; posted to Geek » on 30 Jul 2014 at 3:14 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



61 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2014-07-30 12:01:25 PM  
Checks 1st Edition Dungeon Master's Guide Saving Throw tables.

"Will save?  Get the hell out of here!  Save versus Spell!"

/farking n00bs with their funky saving throws
 
2014-07-30 12:03:55 PM  
img.fark.net
Better yet!  If you ain't White Box, you ain't right!
 
2014-07-30 12:05:33 PM  
*rolls 20 sided die*

Plus one for Subby's headline.

Not sure if playing D&D, Squad Leader and endless games of Axis and Allies saved my life back in the day but it sure made my adolescence more fun and engendered a lifelong love of gaming, history and mythology.
 
2014-07-30 12:42:16 PM  
Screw that subby.  Someone else can play the damn cleric.
 
2014-07-30 01:43:44 PM  

Ennuipoet: Better yet!  If you ain't White Box, you ain't right!


Old people need to die.
 
2014-07-30 01:51:59 PM  

gnosis301: Ennuipoet: Better yet!  If you ain't White Box, you ain't right!

Old people need to die.


You young whippersnapper, I would drop kick you with a Crit right the hell off my dungeon's lawn!
 
2014-07-30 02:33:40 PM  
NERDS!.jpg
 
2014-07-30 02:38:51 PM  
Jesus saves.  All others take full damage.
 
2014-07-30 02:57:55 PM  
Tl;dr

/nerd sh*t
 
2014-07-30 03:12:12 PM  
Prevented him from too much sun?
 
2014-07-30 03:20:44 PM  
Anybody spend much time with the new one? We had one session last weekend, and enjoyed it. One death, and multiple people in negative hit points, but we defeated the goblin caves.
 
2014-07-30 03:27:06 PM  
How one might "convert to Jesus":

image.automotive.com
...And then to Christtron!
 www.bcpics.info
 
2014-07-30 03:29:04 PM  
That font has the most distracting capital letters.
 
2014-07-30 03:38:10 PM  
I have been interested in playing D and D for 2 years now (since starting to listen to Dungeons and Randomness) and just got started with my wife, my best friend and his wife. My friend is the DM. He grabbed this and it is pretty damn fun.i09 has a really favorable review of it too. My bud, who has played a bunch in the past, says this the most put together and well done story for newbies he has ever seen. We now have the weekly game going on and it's damn fun. A bit rocky here and there when people RP their characters... overall it's pretty solid.

Any excuse to do geeky things AND include the Mrs is okay with me.

/csb
 
2014-07-30 03:38:27 PM  

Doogles4221: Anybody spend much time with the new one? We had one session last weekend, and enjoyed it. One death, and multiple people in negative hit points, but we defeated the goblin caves.


I'm impressed that anyone managed to die. It looked to me like the rules were trying to make that impossible (For example: wait a minute, I thought there no longer were "negative hit points"). I guess it must be a tough module.

Of course, resurrections are dirt-cheap now and there's no XP loss, stat loss, or res failure chance, so even if you do somehow manage to "die", it's no big thing.
 
2014-07-30 03:42:14 PM  

Jaden Smith First of His Name: That font has the most distracting capital letters.


Serifs make everything harder to read,

/shakes fist at serifs
 
2014-07-30 03:42:36 PM  

Walker: Tl;dr


Anyone interested in some serious TL:DR on the subject can check this bad boy out.
 
2014-07-30 03:52:20 PM  
Clipped from a Penny Arcade post, where Tycho talks about introducing his religiously-afflicted mother to D&D:

"My mother has never entirely understood roleplaying.  I don't intend to belabor the point, but when I was a young man it was the position of our church that Dungeons & Dragons held within it the clustered seeds of apostasy.  She was so bewildered by what she had seen during Of Dice and Men that she made it a point to attend our D&D Live panel, where her son and his friends played this mysterious game on stage.  The devil did show up, true, and we did go to hell, just as the clergy had suggested we might.  Except in the actual version of events, as has happened so many times, we stood against the King of Lies at the very gates of his damned realm and emerged triumphant.
  My mother came up to me after the panel was over, saying, 'I'm sorry, Jerry.  I'm sorry.'  She wiped the corner of her left eye with her thumb.  'They told me it was something else'."
 
2014-07-30 03:53:30 PM  
The writer of this article has obviously failed to do his homework. Arguments, rivalries, and overblown misunderstandings are among the many D&D related sources of violence. In the forty years of D&D existence a litany of destruction has been directly attributable to this so-called game:

Shooting Deaths- 468
Shooting Injuries/Non-deaths- 6,382
Stabbing Deaths- 797
Stabbing Injuries/Non-deaths- 11,606
Blunt Object deaths- 34
Blunt object injuries/non-deaths- 23,938*

There is simply no telling how many other incidents went unreported when you take in to account how embarrassed many people would be to cite D&D playing as the cause of a disturbance to a law enforcement official.

*Approximately 62% involve book throwing
 
2014-07-30 03:58:52 PM  
*rolls a 20*

Jesus Christ!  That was goddam close!
 
2014-07-30 04:11:29 PM  
I found this game in 1977.   by 1980 I had stopped playing.  I found a group of people who I judged to have a fairly solid grasp of reality and taught them the game.   Of course a couple of them got a different idea, they went out and found people with little or no ability to distingish between reality and fiction, those with a lack of rationality in their lives.  Mormons, Baptists, Jehova's Witnesses, Born Again Christians...  I would go to a game and find people dressed as their characters, who believed that their character was an extension of themself so much that they became whatever it was.

And the people who claimed they could roll 3 d6  six times and get 18 every time, those people were delusional.
 
2014-07-30 04:16:52 PM  
If you ever liked AD&D, consider 13th Age.  It's sort of like a Good Stuff edition of D&D, with far fewer tables and a lot more actual gaming (based on personal anecdotal experience).
 
2014-07-30 04:20:35 PM  
It still blows my mind that D&D was invented in Wisconsin, I just was reading an article about Gygax last night.
 
2014-07-30 04:27:15 PM  

Skyrmion: Of course, resurrections are dirt-cheap now and there's no XP loss, stat loss, or res failure chance, so even if you do somehow manage to "die", it's no big thing.


My Bard even died in combat back in May and was alive again by the end of the round.

/Started with the white box set, quickly graduated, been playing for 36 years as of June.
//shut up or I'll kill you and take your stuff.
 
2014-07-30 04:28:39 PM  

UberDave: Someone else can play the damn cleric.


Halfling air/travel-domains cleric. "I'm going to heal inside your attack range, and you are going to miss your OoU. Neener neener"
 
2014-07-30 04:35:56 PM  
www.twobt.de
geek-news.mtv.com
media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com
All my friends liked D&D, but I preferred these.
 
2014-07-30 04:41:06 PM  
D20 is meh.

Fate system is the best, in my opinion.
 
2014-07-30 04:44:36 PM  
I played some of the new stuff - but admittedly adapted some rules to make it easier on me and the group of beginner's I was teaching. I've run far more 4E stuff, so I shifted back to a few things and I handwaved some other stuff.

The players all enjoyed themselves and were hoping to play again, but I don't have the time to fit in another game.

However, I do have issues with any game that feels the need to tell me how much a horse weighs. DnD is so chocked full of superfluous crap that it bogs down the game tragically. I'll continue with some other systems like Dungeon World and Torchlight.


/Runs a Christian camp and retreat center and was teaching my summer college staff how to play.
 
2014-07-30 04:46:15 PM  
It's been done
img2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-07-30 04:46:41 PM  
I played D&D some in high school (the mid-1980s), but not that much. I was actually pretty good at painting those little lead figurines though. Wish I still had some of them.
 
2014-07-30 04:47:09 PM  
My interest in-or, I should say, my obsession with-D. & D. coincided with the height of its popularity, in the nineteen-eighties.

See, that's what I liked about my D&D group. When Thursday night gaming session was over, the game was over for the week. Nobody "obsessed". The only talk about the game was if someone bought something new(I dropped $20 on a 100-sided die, for example), if someone new was going to join, if we had to cancel, or just a general "You gonna be there on Thursday?". Otherwise, we lived our farking lives and immersed ourselves in the game when it was appropriate. But we could put that shiat away...
 
2014-07-30 04:54:31 PM  
I was explicitly told that playing D&D was devil worshipping and I didn't want yet another excuse for my ex-marine corps father to beat the everliving shiat out of me as a child, so I unfortunately did not get to experience D&D until college.

/I play Pathfinder now
 
2014-07-30 04:58:22 PM  
Came here for the revelation (pun intended) that Gary Gygax was a devout Christian.  Leaving disappoint.

/Lutheran
//DM
///Chick Tracts would be funny if they weren't so infuriating
 
2014-07-30 05:00:23 PM  
Possibly the most interesting personal interactions in my life were at an RPG table. D&D, Car Wars, there were quite a few. I have never had a space of time where I learned so much and valued a well-rounded education even more.
 
2014-07-30 05:04:52 PM  
D&D saved my myself from going insane last year when I was going through immigration and some pretty bad depression.

It was something to look forward to every week and escape my stressed-out bleak life.

/Fark pathfinder group is awesome
//together almost 2 years!
 
2014-07-30 05:05:19 PM  

INeedAName: I played some of the new stuff - but admittedly adapted some rules to make it easier on me and the group of beginner's I was teaching. I've run far more 4E stuff, so I shifted back to a few things and I handwaved some other stuff.

The players all enjoyed themselves and were hoping to play again, but I don't have the time to fit in another game.

However, I do have issues with any game that feels the need to tell me how much a horse weighs. DnD is so chocked full of superfluous crap that it bogs down the game tragically. I'll continue with some other systems like Dungeon World and Torchlight.


/Runs a Christian camp and retreat center and was teaching my summer college staff how to play.


I do like the simplicity of DW. You may be interested in the Fate system. I have only used the Dresden Files fate system, but I have heard good things about Fate Core and Fate accelerated.
 
2014-07-30 05:13:27 PM  
I routinely take the Iron Will feat. I never have to roll for that.
 
Bf+
2014-07-30 05:19:54 PM  

Glitchwerks: [www.twobt.de image 210x272]
[geek-news.mtv.com image 390x500]
[media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com image 395x500]
All my friends liked D&D, but I preferred these.


Any love for:
ecx.images-amazon.com
or
www.freedungeons.com
?
 
2014-07-30 05:23:17 PM  
 
2014-07-30 05:28:21 PM  
FTFA: Though its detractors see the game as a gateway to various forms of delinquency, I would argue that the reverse is true.

Bullshiat...

The only thing D&D could be seen as a gateway for is this:

media.tumblr.com


Gamers are what normal people make fun of... Larper's are what gamer's make fun of...

/guilty of larping
//not me in the pic... I swear
 
2014-07-30 05:33:10 PM  

Empty H: D20 is meh.

Fate system is the best, in my opinion.


How "good" a system is depends completely on what you're trying to accomplish.  Do you want highly stratified abilities, where an experienced person might as well be a god to a low stat person?  Do you want something that creates more realistic skill and combat differences between people?  Do you want quick, bloody combats, or drawn out stylized combat?  Do you even care about skill rolls?  Do you need to have items to create balance, or not?

Systems are typically designed with these types of questions already determined.  Some of them are quite elegant and work well, some are brutal and cumbersome but can be fun in certain applications.

Personally, I couldn't give two shiats about system in general.  It's all about the story, the intertwined characters, and a rich world that creates an immersive atmosphere to play in.  This is often very difficult to come up with right out of a box.  I also don't like that so many RPG players like to be islands, not building their characters to be able to interact with, well, anyone.  They fall back on loner archetypes of whatever class they want to stat-dump on, push to WIN.

To each their own, though.  As long as the group is having fun, people can rules lawyer in a single system, and hack and slash until they fall asleep in their own Reese's cup wrappers.
 
2014-07-30 05:45:42 PM  
earthdawn.fasagames.com

/anyone near Roanoke, Va?
 
2014-07-30 06:35:40 PM  
My DM was a Sunday school teacher.
The other guys I played with were all very devout Catholics, whose father is now a deacon.  They had to roll the dice to see who played the cleric.   I think it was no more dangerous than taking classes on religion and mythology.  Plus some history and the study of combat and tactics.  It was great stuff until video games.
 
2014-07-30 06:58:44 PM  
I own a game store in Arizona, and aside from D&D helping put a roof over my head, I'm really glad it's been a part of my life. (include in that all of the other gaming I've done/do).

My parents took a look at the game when I was getting into it.  They'd seen the news and were curious.  My mom flipped through the pages "...anything with this much math and numbers really can't be evil.  Go right ahead."  I played with their blessing, and they even bought me some of my books.

I've met almost all of my friends through it, and have made lifetime connections with people.  In my dark days, it's kept me going, and helped brighten my brightest days.   And while I have other hobbies that I enjoy, gaming is always a wonderful, comfortable home for me.

And at my store, I've seen people develop friendships.  I've seen a few folks get married and have kids who met in my store.  I have people coming in that were in high school when I first started out, and are now bringing in their kids to teach them how to play.

Gaming (and D&D was the start of it) has blessed my life.
 
2014-07-30 08:36:53 PM  

Mikey1969: My interest in-or, I should say, my obsession with-D. & D. coincided with the height of its popularity, in the nineteen-eighties.

See, that's what I liked about my D&D group. When Thursday night gaming session was over, the game was over for the week. Nobody "obsessed". The only talk about the game was if someone bought something new(I dropped $20 on a 100-sided die, for example), if someone new was going to join, if we had to cancel, or just a general "You gonna be there on Thursday?". Otherwise, we lived our farking lives and immersed ourselves in the game when it was appropriate. But we could put that shiat away...


Same here. I have game night on Tuesdays with my wife and some friends. Although, it's more like; have a nice meal, drink a few beers, play Descent, biatch about work, see you next week.
 
2014-07-30 08:52:49 PM  

Ennuipoet: [img.fark.net image 850x407]
Better yet!  If you ain't White Box, you ain't right!


Really?
You gonna claim to be an OG (Original Gamer) and roll that poser d20?

An OG would know that you had to call the "high" color.
 
2014-07-30 09:05:38 PM  

give me doughnuts: Ennuipoet: [img.fark.net image 850x407]
Better yet!  If you ain't White Box, you ain't right!

Really?
You gonna claim to be an OG (Original Gamer) and roll that poser d20?

An OG would know that you had to call the "high" color.


Damn...I've been out Nerded!

/fails Save vs Superior Grognardia
 
2014-07-30 09:06:45 PM  
I've never played. I cared once, but not any more. There are too few tolerable humans nearby to even pretend to want to play an interactive game of any kind. And cats would probably just kill and eat the dice.

Carry on.
 
2014-07-30 09:54:56 PM  

give me doughnuts: Ennuipoet: [img.fark.net image 850x407]
Better yet!  If you ain't White Box, you ain't right!

Really?
You gonna claim to be an OG (Original Gamer) and roll that poser d20?

An OG would know that you had to call the "high" color.


I still play with one of my first (35-36 year old) d20's.  Numbers painted red and blue.  I've always done red high.

/red for blood.
 
2014-07-30 10:46:17 PM  

Glitchwerks: [www.twobt.de image 210x272]
[geek-news.mtv.com image 390x500]
[media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com image 395x500]
All my friends liked D&D, but I preferred these.


YOU!  You're good people.

Just got done prepping some cars for Dragonflight. Hot wheels scale, including some monster trucks from the ADQ 8-4 rules.

megamek, solaris skunkwerks, vassal, and carwarsopentools.org are all wonderful things.
 
Displayed 50 of 61 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter








In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report