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(Guardian)   Tell us about your worst vacation story ever. Fark is here to listen   (theguardian.com) divider line 28
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136 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 30 Jul 2014 at 12:10 PM (7 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-30 08:51:37 AM
Was serving in the Peace Corps in Burkina Faso. Decided to take a badly needed break, and cross the border to the north to go hiking in Dogon Country, in Mali (about 4 hours from where I lived).

Two days into the trip, there was a revolution, and Islamists seized the northern part of Mali, including the section where we were hiking. We got a text from PC saying 'There has been a revolution, you won't be able to cross the border back, or get to Bamako (the capital) for evacuation. Sit tight, while we try to figure out what to do with you.'

We were currently quite literally in the middle of nowhere. We only got that text by accident, when my buddy's phone chirped at him while we were right on top of a pretty tall rock formation. The only way we were going to be able to send/receive more texts was by either 1. hiking about 5 days, or 2. staying put and continuing to climb that damn rock every few hours.

We compromised, and went to the closest village, when we could get food and water and charge our phones (solar chargers only). We stayed there about 3 weeks. One day, we heard this godawful noise, and what appeared to be 4 Dassault Rafale fighters flew overhead, all of 100 feet above the ground (they went by REALLY fast, so it was hard to tell). Got a text a few hours later, telling us the French were conducting airstrikes, don't worry.

My buddy and I looked at each other, said 'fark it', and walked home. It took 5 days, but we saw almost no one the whole time. Eventually, we popped out on a road in Burkina Faso, caught a bush taxi to the closest city, and got a hotel. Called Peace Corps, expecting to get yelled at/sent home, but all they said was 'Oh. We were wondering how long it would take you to do that. We can't tell you to do it, for liability reasons, but if you do it on your own, it's not like we can ship you back.'

SMH. FML.
 
2014-07-30 08:53:02 AM
I've never met a vacation I didn't like on at least some level.
 
2014-07-30 09:04:34 AM
Summer '81, wife at the time and I had tickets to see Jerry Lee Lewis at a club in Hampton Beach NH. He became extremely ill, canceled, and was replaced by Chubby Checker. I got my money back but we stayed in a crappy motel right on the beach. Plus there were like millions of people there. Not my/our scene.
 
2014-07-30 10:24:51 AM
We hired a private tour of the hill tribes of Laos.  Our guide turned out to barely understandable through my poor French and his poor English.  He also turned out to be a raving drunk.  He walked into our room on the third night when I was alone in it, sitting on the bed naked from the waist down, and refused to leave until my husband returned and ejected him.  We asked to cut the trip short in the morning.

Figuring he had nothing to lose at that point, he started taking paying passengers into what was supposed to be our own vehicle, which was a Toyota truck with an awning welded over the back.  Soon there were 8 people crammed back there, including two young men with rifles.  When we objected to the driver, he told us with what little English he had that our guide's brother was a border agent at our point of entry and not to make waves.  Since few people in the area spoke English I'm not sure what we could have done anyway.  Comically, at one point we were joined by a lady who had a bunch of bats hanging from a stick.  Not so comically, at one point our unstable guide offered to sell my husband weed, even going so far as to shove it into my husband's hands.  We just slipped it back into the guide's backpack.

We made it back to the border to Thailand, where we were jacked for not having the proper stamp on our passports.  The End.
 
2014-07-30 10:33:15 AM

brap: I've never met a vacation I didn't like on at least some level.


^^^^^
 
2014-07-30 11:12:06 AM
I have so many....

Mini-bus I was on, for a tour in St. Lucia, caught on fire. Back of the bus. Where I was sitting. Driver ran off bus and didn't even tell us we were on fire. Other drivers started honking and told us. We then had to wait in the hot sun with no shade for 2 hours for a new bus.

Food poisoning in Costa Rica while on a cruise. I was confined to my windowless cabin for the rest of the cruise, as they assumed I had Norovirus, while things shot out of both ends of me, sometimes at the same time.

Booked a cruise just to see Belize. They changed the itinerary one month before I left and switched Belize for Mexico. They said no refunds. So I booked a shore excursion for that Mexico stop to see Mayan pyramids. They cancelled it because they said it was too dangerous because it was raining in the rainforest. Who could have predicted THAT? They took us to a restaurant instead and said buy your own food, even though you paid $80 for this shore excursion.

Another cruise story (maybe I should stop taking cruises) where we stopped in Colon, Panama. I had booked a shore excursion to go down a river and meet an Embera Indian tribe. They still live pretty much like they have for hundreds of years. The women still go topless. Anyway, it was raining in the rainforest so they cancelled that. So I switched to a Panama Canal tour. Then they cancelled that. Then they cancelled every tour. So the only thing I saw in Panama was the inside of a grocery store by the port.

But I think the worst one of all was....a seagull pooped on my head once at the beach.
 
2014-07-30 11:27:26 AM

Walker: But I think the worst one of all was....a seagull pooped on my head once at the beach.


media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com
 
2014-07-30 11:58:42 AM

brap: I've never met a vacation I didn't like on at least some level.


This. I've traveled quite a bit, and I always enjoy it.
 
2014-07-30 12:09:49 PM
I've been on a couple of vacations that were kinda overrated, but nothing bad. Just don't stay at the Westin St Johns unless you really enjoy rude or unaccommodating staff. In fact IMO that whole island is totally overrated. And I say this having gone on a number of vacations. Maybe I just can't handle the in-your-face culture of the Caribbean or all the drunken sailboat washouts partying, but it definitely wasn't as relaxing as it should have been.


I've never been on an overall bad vacation though.

Maui on the other hand, it was absolutely amazing in every possible way.
 
2014-07-30 12:11:52 PM
My Honeymoon
/should have listened to my Dad and ditched her
 
2014-07-30 12:17:58 PM
It involved pre-term labor at twenty weeks. The baby lived three hours. That's about all I can bring myself to write about that.
 
2014-07-30 12:19:56 PM

Walker: Another cruise story (maybe I should stop taking cruises)


Yep.
 
2014-07-30 12:22:51 PM

Walker: maybe I should stop taking cruises


I find that any cruise that includes more than 10 or 12 passengers is utterly intolerable.
 
2014-07-30 12:38:34 PM
Worse was I went camping with a college friend.  She and I were not an item, that was very clear between the two of us, she wanted to visit some friends near where I had some friends that were graduating college.

Well, it's late, and I get back to the campsite to find she's hooked up with an old boyfriend of hers and is going at it in the tent.  I turned around and went back to my friend's place.

She apologized the next day, but holy hell woman, if you're sharing a tent, fark at his place, not in the shared tent.
 
2014-07-30 12:46:12 PM
Listen... and laugh.
 
2014-07-30 01:03:01 PM
It's pretty minor, but I went with family to Myrtle Beach for a week.  First day there, I hurt my knee to the point of barely being able to walk, resulting in my being stranded in a 3rd-floor time-share apartment-type place with a view of trees for the rest of the week.  That was followed by riding in a cramped car 700 miles home.

Also that was the last time I've gone on a trip of more than 2 days with anyone besides myself.
 
2014-07-30 01:09:58 PM

wxboy: It's pretty minor, but I went with family to Myrtle Beach for a week.  First day there, I hurt my knee to the point of barely being able to walk, resulting in my being stranded in a 3rd-floor time-share apartment-type place with a view of trees for the rest of the week.  That was followed by riding in a cramped car 700 miles home.

Also that was the last time I've gone on a trip of more than 2 days with anyone besides myself.


You could have stopped with the first sentence
 
2014-07-30 01:28:50 PM
I've had unpleasant experiences on vacation but as a whole, I've enjoyed all my trip.

The worst thing I've seen while on vacation was while I was in Nepal.  An ox gave birth over night and the sound kept us awake.  The reason the birth was so noisy was because there were complications.  The calf pulled the uterus out during the birth so the mother was suffering tremendously.  When I got up to see what was going on, I saw the owner shoulder deep in the ox's twat trying to shove the uterus back in.
 
2014-07-30 01:37:15 PM

ModernPrimitive01: wxboy: It's pretty minor, but I went with family to Myrtle Beach for a week.  First day there, I hurt my knee to the point of barely being able to walk, resulting in my being stranded in a 3rd-floor time-share apartment-type place with a view of trees for the rest of the week.  That was followed by riding in a cramped car 700 miles home.

Also that was the last time I've gone on a trip of more than 2 days with anyone besides myself.

You could have stopped with the first sentence


In my defense, it was family I like, and if not for my little injury, I would have enjoyed a week on the beach.  This was a few miles down from all the big hotels and such.
 
2014-07-30 01:49:12 PM

Muta: I've had unpleasant experiences on vacation but as a whole, I've enjoyed all my trip.

The worst thing I've seen while on vacation was while I was in Nepal.  An ox gave birth over night and the sound kept us awake.  The reason the birth was so noisy was because there were complications.  The calf pulled the uterus out during the birth so the mother was suffering tremendously.  When I got up to see what was going on, I saw the owner shoulder deep in the ox's twat trying to shove the uterus back in.


Well that will put you right off breakfast.
 
2014-07-30 02:14:26 PM
Summer '04. I was fired the day before my vacation started, but the trip was already booked, house paid for, so we went. Drove 16 hours in an overstuffed minivan with wife and four kids ages 6-10 to the Outer Banks. Got there, unpacked and rented bikes for the family.It started raining. Next morning went out to find someone had stolen my bike. Nobody else's, just mine. Still raining. Rain continued every day for a week. 2 days before we came home my bike turned up. The day before we left it stopped raining and we got to spent 2 hours at the beach. Drove 16 hours home in an overstuffed minivan with wife and four kids ages 6-10. Monday morning, not knowing how to make my next house payment, applied for unemployment for the first time in my life.
 
2014-07-30 03:35:57 PM

Nabb1: It involved pre-term labor at twenty weeks. The baby lived three hours. That's about all I can bring myself to write about that.


Iowa, miscarriage.
/just letting you know you're not alone here.
 
2014-07-30 03:44:45 PM
I was in the peace corp during the war. We were sent to the Molombo tribe in Africa. I started them with rudimentary calisthenics and, soon enough, competitive game theory.

When I re-enlist I plan to teach them baseball.
 
2014-07-30 04:10:16 PM

whistleridge: Was serving in the Peace Corps in Burkina Faso. Decided to take a badly needed break, and cross the border to the north to go hiking in Dogon Country, in Mali (about 4 hours from where I lived).

Two days into the trip, there was a revolution, and Islamists seized the northern part of Mali, including the section where we were hiking. We got a text from PC saying 'There has been a revolution, you won't be able to cross the border back, or get to Bamako (the capital) for evacuation. Sit tight, while we try to figure out what to do with you.'

We were currently quite literally in the middle of nowhere. We only got that text by accident, when my buddy's phone chirped at him while we were right on top of a pretty tall rock formation. The only way we were going to be able to send/receive more texts was by either 1. hiking about 5 days, or 2. staying put and continuing to climb that damn rock every few hours.

We compromised, and went to the closest village, when we could get food and water and charge our phones (solar chargers only). We stayed there about 3 weeks. One day, we heard this godawful noise, and what appeared to be 4 Dassault Rafale fighters flew overhead, all of 100 feet above the ground (they went by REALLY fast, so it was hard to tell). Got a text a few hours later, telling us the French were conducting airstrikes, don't worry.

My buddy and I looked at each other, said 'fark it', and walked home. It took 5 days, but we saw almost no one the whole time. Eventually, we popped out on a road in Burkina Faso, caught a bush taxi to the closest city, and got a hotel. Called Peace Corps, expecting to get yelled at/sent home, but all they said was 'Oh. We were wondering how long it would take you to do that. We can't tell you to do it, for liability reasons, but if you do it on your own, it's not like we can ship you back.'

SMH. FML.


...well that beats my story about how my hotel room door wouldn't lock.
 
2014-07-30 04:18:39 PM

phillydrifter: I was in the peace corp during the war. We were sent to the Molombo tribe in Africa. I started them with rudimentary calisthenics and, soon enough, competitive game theory.

When I re-enlist I plan to teach them baseball.


How's the drinking problem, Striker?
 
2014-07-30 11:40:15 PM
Night before we were to hike up Jebl Seirbal (Sinai) I ate olives that our host's wife had cured.
Improperly cured olives are purgative.

About 4 hours into the climb, in 115F heat, my body gave up at both ends. I must have lost 2 quarts of liquid. And heat exhaustion set in.

We were maybe 50 miles from a doctor and hospital. Our guides found a big rock and I curled up in the fetal position in the shade. About an hour later I was able to take some water and resume the hike. I made it up to about 4500' and there was this amazing spring gushing out of a cleft in the rock. They helped me make a pallet and I was able to rest. My SO and the guides went up to the summit the next morning, and then we went back down to Mercaz Feiran.

It was actually a really good trip except for the heat exhaustion. I know now that once you get it, you'll get it again.
 
2014-07-31 03:24:33 AM
I don't think I've had a truly bad vacation in terms the vacation itself, but only really in terms of who I went with. The first example was my mom had a shiatload of airline miles and she could get a completely free trip to Florida and my dad couldn't go. So I said fark it, I'll sit on the beach and drink for a week....forgetting that I was with my mom. It was fun, and I had been away and out of the country for so long it was nice to spend some time with her, but that trip really enlightened her on how much I sometimes indulge in the boozing.

Secondly, I took a trip to Central Europe with a girlfriend, and this trip was probably way too early in the relationship, and we only planned it and went together because her other plans (made before our relationship started) fell through. It was fun and all, but by day 9, we were annoying the shiat out of each other. The relationship lasted a couple of months after that, but I think it had a lot to do with both of us realizing it wouldn't work on a more serious level. Although,that is probably one thing that it is good to figure out earlier rather than later.

So yeah, I need to pick better people to do things with.
 
2014-07-31 02:32:31 PM
I was going to tell you about the disaster tour of '92 (earthquake, flood, wildfire, hurricane) but after reading these, that wasn't so bad.
 
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