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(Right Wing News)   Five obvious principles of human nature that baffle liberals   (rightwingnews.com ) divider line
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3442 clicks; posted to Politics » on 30 Jul 2014 at 8:59 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-30 04:19:22 AM  
This slapdick doesn't know the difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, and gets more stupid from there.
 
2014-07-30 06:50:01 AM  

RodneyToady: This slapdick doesn't know the difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, and gets more stupid from there.


So, a normal John Hawkins article then?
 
2014-07-30 06:59:28 AM  
www.rightwingnews.com

he blows goats.  i have proof.
 
2014-07-30 06:59:39 AM  
From the same batch of thinkers that give us gems like "cease the cease-fire".
 
2014-07-30 07:26:18 AM  
Has this guy ever written an article that wasn't a list? He should have that checked out. Compulsive disorders can really spiral out of control if you don't keep an eye on them. Things may already be too late, since he evidently sits alone in his bedroom making lists about what he imagines liberals to be like rather than going outside and actually meeting some liberals. We do care about you, John. We want you to get better.

/And put that farking pie down. Getting mentally right is only half your battle.
 
2014-07-30 07:38:29 AM  

rumpelstiltskin: Has this guy ever written an article that wasn't a list? He should have that checked out. Compulsive disorders can really spiral out of control if you don't keep an eye on them. Things may already be too late, since he evidently sits alone in his bedroom making lists about what he imagines liberals to be like rather than going outside and actually meeting some liberals. We do care about you, John. We want you to get better.

/And put that farking pie down. Getting mentally right is only half your battle.


This is a guy who just wants to be dealt in at the table. He knows that he can't win, he can't hang, but he wants to just be included. He wants to be at the cool kids' table. He is the same jib cut as many who toil at the Justification Machine. You see this with folks like Dean Chambers--who, oddly enough, I went to school with. These are thwarted humans, who just want to be liked, and since they're fairly unskilled socially, they figure if they just keep showing up with gifts, that they'll be allowed to stick around. Yes, it's an immature and undeveloped impulse, but that's who they are. And they're useful, in that they toil without a lot of compensation, and they'll get invited to a few parties, where folks will pat them on the head for a moment, and then turn back to their real friends, but for a moment, they're included. That so many of these poor souls are chunky...that's not coincidence. They ARE fat kids who want to be at the cool kids' table, they want to be with the cheerleaders, and the football players, and they bring cake and candy and a camera, and take their moments where they can. And they keep doing it for the rest of their damn lives, because they're damaged individuals who can't grow the f*ck up.

The ones that do grow up? They don't court favor. They don't curry favor. They get on with their lives, and this poor soul is just an example of a cog in a machine that eats up toadying fat kids like said candy, and they like it. Because they get a tiny kernel of validation for a moment, and then they have to chase their next high. They are power junkies, and despite the fact that they will never hold any themselves, they just want to be near it. That's enough. Because there are damaged girls somewhere near all that mess, and those girls are looking for validation too, and sometimes they get together and make more damaged humans. And thus the cycle continues...
 
2014-07-30 08:09:21 AM  
Aww...bless his heart.
 
2014-07-30 08:21:55 AM  
Having bravely strode into the dungeon filled with dragons and miscreants, I brought out the below treasure:

1. People respond to incentives.
2. Personal responsibility is good for people.
3. Human beings are not angels.
4. Nobody cares as much about other people as they do for themselves.
5. Men and women are different.

Wait, seriously? I posed grave danger to my life and my sanity for that useless pablum? I shoulda just stayed home and left that "treasure" to be forgotten.

/grumble grumble
 
2014-07-30 08:30:27 AM  
My only question is how can one person constantly produce such obnoxiously rancid farts and not realize they need to see a gastroenterologist?
 
2014-07-30 08:47:02 AM  

hubiestubert: rumpelstiltskin: Has this guy ever written an article that wasn't a list? He should have that checked out. Compulsive disorders can really spiral out of control if you don't keep an eye on them. Things may already be too late, since he evidently sits alone in his bedroom making lists about what he imagines liberals to be like rather than going outside and actually meeting some liberals. We do care about you, John. We want you to get better.

/And put that farking pie down. Getting mentally right is only half your battle.

This is a guy who just wants to be dealt in at the table. He knows that he can't win, he can't hang, but he wants to just be included. He wants to be at the cool kids' table. He is the same jib cut as many who toil at the Justification Machine. You see this with folks like Dean Chambers--who, oddly enough, I went to school with. These are thwarted humans, who just want to be liked, and since they're fairly unskilled socially, they figure if they just keep showing up with gifts, that they'll be allowed to stick around. Yes, it's an immature and undeveloped impulse, but that's who they are. And they're useful, in that they toil without a lot of compensation, and they'll get invited to a few parties, where folks will pat them on the head for a moment, and then turn back to their real friends, but for a moment, they're included. That so many of these poor souls are chunky...that's not coincidence. They ARE fat kids who want to be at the cool kids' table, they want to be with the cheerleaders, and the football players, and they bring cake and candy and a camera, and take their moments where they can. And they keep doing it for the rest of their damn lives, because they're damaged individuals who can't grow the f*ck up.

The ones that do grow up? They don't court favor. They don't curry favor. They get on with their lives, and this poor soul is just an example of a cog in a machine that eats up toadying fat kids like said candy, and they like it. Because ...


You two win today's internet.
 
2014-07-30 09:00:36 AM  

Serious Black: /grumble grumble


cdn.wikimg.net
 
2014-07-30 09:04:16 AM  

Serious Black: 2. Personal responsibility is good for people.


Ha! This from the party of "It's Bill Clinton's recession, not Dubya's!"; "We would have won the presidency if it weren't for ACORN/the 47%/the ni...um, that is, 'socialists'"; and "Some Democrats  voted to go to Iraq, so it's their fault, too!"
 
2014-07-30 09:04:24 AM  
I looked at the headline, said to myself 'John Hawkins', and went to the comment thread.
 
2014-07-30 09:05:08 AM  

SilentStrider: My only question is how can one person constantly produce such obnoxiously rancid farts and not realize they need to see a gastroenterologist?


Are, are you in the room with me? I didn't even see you.
 
2014-07-30 09:05:25 AM  
There shall not be four farts, neither shall there be six.
 
2014-07-30 09:05:27 AM  
I'm gonna guess TFA (which I DNR) is just one big strawman.
 
2014-07-30 09:10:40 AM  
John Hawkins is like Cracked for those uninterested in citations and humor, and who are also crazy.
 
2014-07-30 09:10:48 AM  

Serious Black: Having bravely strode into the dungeon filled with dragons and miscreants, I brought out the below treasure:

1. People respond to incentives.
2. Personal responsibility is good for people.
3. Human beings are not angels.
4. Nobody cares as much about other people as they do for themselves.
5. Men and women are different.

Wait, seriously? I posed grave danger to my life and my sanity for that useless pablum? I shoulda just stayed home and left that "treasure" to be forgotten.

/grumble grumble


The obvious generalities aside, 3 and 4 seem to be things conservatives can't seem to grasp, not liberals.  Liberals aren't the ones who claim that the free market is somehow noble and will solve all our societal woes on its own.  That's why we HAVE government, to compensate for the stupid, selfish bullshiat people show on an individual level.
 
2014-07-30 09:11:20 AM  

born_yesterday: There shall not be four farts, neither shall there be six.


Five shall be the number of the farts, and the number of farts shall be five.
 
2014-07-30 09:11:23 AM  
5 obvious principles of human nature that baffle conservatives:

1. Rape is bad
2. War is bad
3. Pollution is bad
4. Pot is good
5. There is no God, and if there was, you are seriously misinterpreting him

/Okay, I played those pretty loose, but you get the idea
 
2014-07-30 09:12:18 AM  
i2.kym-cdn.com
 
2014-07-30 09:12:55 AM  
It's a blog post so ill conceived, so poorly written, that you can't even begin to figure out what to start with.  The premise?  The individual points? His terrible arguments?
 
2014-07-30 09:16:04 AM  
Oh, that asshole...

Pass.
 
2014-07-30 09:17:07 AM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-07-30 09:17:23 AM  
Isn't this the third Right Wing News green this week? What, are NRO, Breitbart and Freep not stupid enough anymore?
 
2014-07-30 09:17:33 AM  
People suck, and many of them suffer from undiagnosed mental illnesses, including the person who wrote this? I'm right, aren't I?

/not clicking on whatever that is
 
2014-07-30 09:19:48 AM  

SilentStrider: My only question is how can one person constantly produce such obnoxiously rancid farts and not realize they need to see a gastroenterologist?


My farts smell pretty good.
 
2014-07-30 09:20:29 AM  
Most of them boil down to "be selfish" or "manipulate other people's selfishness."  Which I suppose might be sound advice for short term gain.
 
2014-07-30 09:21:11 AM  

grandma's famous pot pie recipe: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 480x360]


Man...this guy has to wake up in the morning, look at that, and take himself seriously.  If he wasn't such a stupid, hateful prick, I'd almost feel sorry for him.
 
2014-07-30 09:21:26 AM  

threedingers: I'm gonna guess TFA (which I DNR) is just one big strawman.


Projection, mostly, with a big ol' spoonful of derp thrown in.

"People respond to incentives," and yet they oppose wage increases for the working class as incentive. The only incentives that matter are those for CEOs and politicians, the poor can go f*ck themselves..

"Personal responsibility is good for people: The easiest way to foul anything up is to put someone in charge of it who won't pay any price if it goes wrong," and yet Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are still listened to, and Ronald Reagan is treated like a god, and those f*ckers have gotten away with atrocities that would make Charles Manson blush, up to and including shooting someone in the face and making him apologize! Where's the personal responsibility there? What's most hilarious is he accuses liberals of making the most "trust fund babies." That one came out of left field and was worth a laugh.

"Human beings are not angels: As James Madison said, 'If men were angels, no government would be necessary,'" and yet they oppose the government at all costs and assume if the government just got out of the way private individuals and corporations would magically do all the good things. So... which is it? Either get rid of government because people are so awesome-sauce we don't need it, or people are not angels and we need the government. Also, this one is particularly hilarious because his rationale completely and utterly contradicts his rationale for his previous "personal responsibility" comments.

"Nobody cares as much about other people as they do for themselves," which is an odd thing to accuse liberals of not knowing while at the same time accusing liberals of only caring about themselves.

"Men and women are different," and yet fails to provide evidence that different somehow means women deserve to be paid less, raped more, and treated as incubation tubes for babies. Also, this section does a lot of mixing of "sex" and "gender."

So, yea, a big pile of projection and strawmen.
 
2014-07-30 09:22:13 AM  
God damn liberals!
 
2014-07-30 09:22:30 AM  
Until someone is held personally responsible for this:

images.news14.com

you wingnuts can STFU about personal responsibility.
 
2014-07-30 09:23:07 AM  

Shostie: Serious Black: /grumble grumble

[cdn.wikimg.net image 77x126]


I think this was the most beautiful response I will likely see on Fark for quite some time.
 
2014-07-30 09:24:07 AM  
Dear god... the comments section...
 
2014-07-30 09:24:44 AM  
I'm usually not one to bring someone's appearance or weight problem to a political figure, but I think there's something to be said here.  People respond to incentives (which he then illustrates by going into a super simplified lesson on how dogs respond to a certain training technique)... but why doesn't he respond to the incentive to not be a fat tub of shiat staring down the barrel of a heart attack that's 5 years away?  You'd think that living longer to spew even more right wing drivel would be a big incentive for this guy.

I guess one might say that in a complex situation (such as trying to live a life in modern western culture) has several different incentives and disincentives at play simultaneously and you can't reduce everyday life to a direct analogy of trying to train dogs to perform simple behaviours on command.

Of course, the other issue with his dog training analogy is that eventually you stop rewarding the dog with treats, and instead the dog is pleased enough to perform the behaviour simply for praise or seeing that his/her master is pleased.  I assume that's the next step in his application to human beings too.

And that's just regarding his first point, which actually has some veracity to it in that humans do respond positively to incentives.
 
2014-07-30 09:26:08 AM  
The mental laziness in these Hawkins lists is astounding. He just makes up a list of imagined shortcomings for imagined people he's never met, and some web site puts them up, again and again.
 
2014-07-30 09:26:33 AM  
www.rightwingnews.com

man even their logo is flaming ass
 
2014-07-30 09:26:40 AM  

DarnoKonrad: Most of them boil down to "be selfish" or "manipulate other people's selfishness."  Which I suppose might be sound advice for short term gain.


I don't know.  #1 -- people need incentive, seems to advocate an increase in the minimum wage to reduce unemployment.  #2 -- personal responsibility is good and #3 humans can sometimes be evil, seems to advocate stricter government regulation on financial companies who tank the economy and stricter sentences for businesses that pollute.
 
2014-07-30 09:27:44 AM  
img2.wikia.nocookie.net
everyone likes their own brand, don't they?
 
2014-07-30 09:27:47 AM  

Alphax: The mental laziness in these Hawkins lists is astounding. He just makes up a list of imagined shortcomings for imagined people he's never met, and some web site puts them up, again and again.


And does he get paid?  I mean most of the troll accounts here could do a more convincing job.
 
2014-07-30 09:28:12 AM  
s3.amazonaws.com
 
2014-07-30 09:28:16 AM  

Tomahawk513: John Hawkins is like Cracked for those uninterested in citations and humor, and who are also crazy.


So basically, conservative Buzzfeed.
 
2014-07-30 09:28:25 AM  
Serious Black:
5. Men and women are different.

That's gold!  I can't wait to add it to my act!

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2014-07-30 09:28:50 AM  

Shostie: Serious Black: /grumble grumble


Dodongos dislike derp.
 
2014-07-30 09:29:51 AM  
As someone who inadvertently listens to Rush every so often, this list is consistent with what he's been told liberals are like.


/it's local morning news when I listen to it, but devolves into rush when I get back in my car to go to lunch.
 
2014-07-30 09:29:55 AM  
FTFA: 3) Human beings are not angels: As James Madison said, "If men were angels, no government would be necessary."Yes, people will come to this country specifically to get welfare and food stamps. Yes, people will commit voter fraud. Yes, there are an awful lot of poor people who DESERVE to be poor because they're lazy, waste their money, or keep popping out kids by different daddies. Yes, there are just bad people out there who will murder you for no other crime than being American, Jewish, or even just "not Muslim."

While the rest of this article is still retarded, I just want to point out this bit right here.  This dude is so far off base about what that quote is about that it's like a pitcher throwing it to second for a pick-off and he swings.
 
2014-07-30 09:29:55 AM  
Five obvious principles of human nature that baffle liberals

So basically our beamish boy is saying that he doesn't believe Liberals are humans?
 
2014-07-30 09:30:08 AM  
#6: The ability to form thoughts and arguments that don't involve lists?  Along with, and I'm assuming here since I haven't read TFA but do feel quite confident, a truly impressive array of strawmen and other logical fallacies?
 
2014-07-30 09:33:36 AM  
Speaking of lazy, it takes very little effort to write an article that is essentially a list of straw man arguments.
 
2014-07-30 09:33:49 AM  

sprawl15: man even their logo is flaming ass


Jesus. Word Art straight out of MSWord.
 
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