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(BBC-US)   "Ladies and gentlemen, as we start our descent, please make sure your seat backs and tray tables are in their full upright position, also make sure that anything that might be detected by drug-sniffing dogs is flushed down the loo"   (bbc.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, Australia, Jet Star Inc., domestic flights, airlines  
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5274 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jul 2014 at 6:57 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



36 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-07-30 05:53:11 PM  
Jetstar said that it was required to play a pre-recorded announcement on domestic flights about Australia's strict quarantine regulations, which prevent some plant and fruit materials being transported between states.

Nothing about invasive frogs?
 
2014-07-30 07:01:51 PM  

fusillade762: Jetstar said that it was required to play a pre-recorded announcement on domestic flights about Australia's strict quarantine regulations, which prevent some plant and fruit materials being transported between states.

Nothing about invasive frogs?


Or spiders?
 
2014-07-30 07:02:48 PM  
Fair dinkum true blue flight attendant. I like that.  Bet my aunt never said that in all her days at Qantas.
 
2014-07-30 07:03:20 PM  
That announcer's no Sister Mary Elephant

/thanks, sister!
 
2014-07-30 07:07:56 PM  
Does Australia have for-profit prisons too? Are they upset they won't get their kickbacks?
 
2014-07-30 07:08:04 PM  
Lou thought he just hit the jackpot.
 
2014-07-30 07:12:10 PM  
aattp.org
 
2014-07-30 07:16:08 PM  
NSCSB: I went to a concert by myself because my buddy woke up with it coming out of both ends. Decided to get tanked up before going, cuz f those $14 "large" 18 oz beers. Unfortunately, in my mildly inebriated state, my logic was "it's a tiny thing, they prolly won't even pat you down."

Enter militant, determined pat-down lady.

Pats me down, asks what "that thing" in my pocket was; I lamely offer that it's the lighter, which she doesn't buy. Asks my to show it to her, and instead I withdraw it from my pocket and toss it in a close by garbage can in one motion. She absolutely flips out and tells me to turn out my pockets. Knowing the bat is still in there, I do the same thing, grab and toss in one motion. She hears it clank against a beer bottle and IMMEDIATELY ramps it up, tells me to quit throwing shiat away, what was that, etc.

I look at her and deadpan "It was garbage that I just threw away, but I've love to see you dive in there and find out."

"If you get caught with anything else, I'll have you arrested."

"I'm sorry, you must be retarded, cuz you just saw me throw everything away. So piss off."

"Fark you."

"You couldn't pay me enough."

/this story continues, but this is the relevant part
//it ends with me hosing off my taint in my backyard at 230am.
///nope
 
2014-07-30 07:17:52 PM  
Where's the damn Hero tag?
 
2014-07-30 07:19:58 PM  
Splendor in the Grass is a lot of fun. You should go.
 
2014-07-30 07:20:01 PM  
From TFA: "Many of the passengers were reportedly returning from the music festival Splendour in The Grass..."
 
2014-07-30 07:20:30 PM  
[Genewilder.jpg]

I was JOKING! Can't you people tell a joke when you hear one!
 
2014-07-30 07:26:32 PM  
img.fark.net

Blue ice

img.fark.net

Disapproves
 
2014-07-30 07:38:18 PM  

grinding_journalist: NSCSB: I went to a concert by myself because my buddy woke up with it coming out of both ends. Decided to get tanked up before going, cuz f those $14 "large" 18 oz beers. Unfortunately, in my mildly inebriated state, my logic was "it's a tiny thing, they prolly won't even pat you down."

Enter militant, determined pat-down lady.

Pats me down, asks what "that thing" in my pocket was; I lamely offer that it's the lighter, which she doesn't buy. Asks my to show it to her, and instead I withdraw it from my pocket and toss it in a close by garbage can in one motion. She absolutely flips out and tells me to turn out my pockets. Knowing the bat is still in there, I do the same thing, grab and toss in one motion. She hears it clank against a beer bottle and IMMEDIATELY ramps it up, tells me to quit throwing shiat away, what was that, etc.


Heh, I had a similar moment once at a concert. A few friends and I had a few drinks and dropped some acid before the show, intending to do some E when we got there. Well, we ended up on the cab ride from hell and by the time we got there I had totally blanked that I had a WOODEN BOX WITH ACID AND E IN MY COAT POCKET. The guy patting me down hits it and asks "What's that?". I manage to stutter out "Uh, my cigarettes". "Can I look INSIDE your cigarettes?" I hand them to him and he digs around the half-empty pack. Then he hands them back to me, doesn't frisk me again and lets me it.

I spent the first half hour inside filled with a paranoid dread that security was going to converge on me at any second. Ended up being a pretty awesome show, in the end.

/csb
 
2014-07-30 07:45:14 PM  
Where hero tag?
 
2014-07-30 07:54:41 PM  
People should praise such good customer service.
 
2014-07-30 07:58:31 PM  
so, what's the bets she set up a catch-net in the toilet system?
 
2014-07-30 08:00:29 PM  
FTFA: several people suddenly got up to queue for the toilet.

Hey I just realized I gotta pee real bad.  You got a problem with that?
 
2014-07-30 08:12:43 PM  
Now that is one airline announcement that George Carlin would probably like
 
2014-07-30 08:19:22 PM  

HeadLever: Now that is one airline announcement that George Carlin would probably like


Agreed.
"Please return the stewardess to her original upright position".
 
2014-07-30 08:27:36 PM  

HeadLever: Now that is one airline announcement that George Carlin would probably like


He hasnt used any drugs in years
 
2014-07-30 08:28:12 PM  
Eddie Dean approves.
 
2014-07-30 08:37:13 PM  
dinkum?

I hear thats about 100 times worse than jenkem
 
2014-07-30 08:37:27 PM  

mikaloyd: He hasnt used any drugs in years


Well, other than the formaldehyde and methanol that is currently 'running through his veins'.

/assuming he wasn't cremated.
 
2014-07-30 09:02:50 PM  
Flight attendants usually don't get tips but I'm guessing they got a few hundred dollar bills slipped to them with a parting handshake.
 
2014-07-30 09:08:40 PM  
Well, if they had been headed north...

img.fark.net

img.fark.net
 
2014-07-30 09:09:25 PM  
Sounds funny to me. Wonder who had the stick up there butt. Somebody upset they flushed there stash for nothing?
 
gja
2014-07-30 09:29:38 PM  

fusillade762: Jetstar said that it was required to play a pre-recorded announcement on domestic flights about Australia's strict quarantine regulations, which prevent some plant and fruit materials being transported between states.

Nothing about invasive frogs?


Why are you scared of the french?

/i plaisante, i plaisante
 
2014-07-30 10:30:29 PM  
I don't get it. That's drugs off the street and clean travelers. That's what everyone wanted, right?
 
2014-07-30 10:33:38 PM  

jmayson: Well, if they had been headed north...

[img.fark.net image 850x637]

[img.fark.net image 850x637]


And yet Singapore still has a drug problem. Solid proof prohibition, even on pain of death, is a failure.

"The Central Narcotics Bureau (CNB) arrested 3,507 drug abusers in 2012, an increase of 5% from the 3,326 drug abusers arrested in 2011." -- Source
 
2014-07-30 10:54:33 PM  

Prophet of Loss: jmayson: Well, if they had been headed north...

[img.fark.net image 850x637]

[img.fark.net image 850x637]

And yet Singapore still has a drug problem. Solid proof prohibition, even on pain of death, is a failure.

"The Central Narcotics Bureau (CNB) arrested 3,507 drug abusers in 2012, an increase of 5% from the 3,326 drug abusers arrested in 2011." -- Source


3507 out of 4 million?  That's it?
 
2014-07-30 11:11:05 PM  

jmayson: Well, if they had been headed north...

[img.fark.net image 850x637]

[img.fark.net image 850x637]


Same with Singapore.
 
2014-07-30 11:22:50 PM  

Bucky Katt: Prophet of Loss: jmayson: Well, if they had been headed north...

[img.fark.net image 850x637]

[img.fark.net image 850x637]

And yet Singapore still has a drug problem. Solid proof prohibition, even on pain of death, is a failure.

"The Central Narcotics Bureau (CNB) arrested 3,507 drug abusers in 2012, an increase of 5% from the 3,326 drug abusers arrested in 2011." -- Source

3507 out of 4 million?  That's it?



If I remember right they have 5 million citizens and 8 million residents. It's a major transit point. A lot of their busts are idiots passing through the country. Why anyone would risk it is beyond me.
 
2014-07-30 11:41:12 PM  

stuffy: Sounds funny to me. Wonder who had the stick up there butt. Somebody upset they flushed there stash for nothing?


Where?
 
2014-07-31 05:28:58 AM  

Bucky Katt: Prophet of Loss: jmayson: Well, if they had been headed north...

[img.fark.net image 850x637]

[img.fark.net image 850x637]

And yet Singapore still has a drug problem. Solid proof prohibition, even on pain of death, is a failure.

"The Central Narcotics Bureau (CNB) arrested 3,507 drug abusers in 2012, an increase of 5% from the 3,326 drug abusers arrested in 2011." -- Source

3507 out of 4 million?  That's it?


Those are "official". Moreover, the are from an Asian country big on "face". I am sure they are really much much higher.
 
2014-07-31 09:28:51 AM  

sotua: Eddie Dean approves.


Thankee sai.
 
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