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(Sun Sentinel)   Naked man arrested for masturbating outside an apartment complex. Residents glad the police finally hauled this jerk off   (sun-sentinel.com) divider line 47
    More: Florida  
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2140 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jul 2014 at 1:42 PM (7 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-07-30 01:14:12 PM
I hope they pud this guy away for good.
 
2014-07-30 01:24:30 PM
Sounds like he had spunk,.
 
2014-07-30 01:44:14 PM
wow, a Florida tag with a happy ending.
 
2014-07-30 01:45:33 PM
Nicely done, subby. Would come again
 
2014-07-30 01:46:07 PM
Gross, gotta clean up all that cement
 
2014-07-30 01:46:28 PM
What did they expect naked Florida man to do...

When naked Florida woman...

img.fark.net

...didn't come home?
 
2014-07-30 01:47:24 PM
A man who was naked and masturbating outside an apartment building was tackled by a resident after the man ran away and jumped into a lake

Jumping into a lake isn't the smartest thing to do in Florida. Most of them are filled with alligators.
 
2014-07-30 01:48:57 PM

Walker: A man who was naked and masturbating outside an apartment building was tackled by a resident after the man ran away and jumped into a lake

Jumping into a lake isn't the smartest thing to do in Florida. Most of them are filled with alligators.


And brain-eating amoebas.
 
2014-07-30 01:49:00 PM
Let's just have a police state.
 
2014-07-30 01:51:50 PM
He was a complex man.
 
2014-07-30 01:53:29 PM
What a dick.
 
2014-07-30 01:54:39 PM
He's says he's innocent of the charges and is hoping for a full release
 
2014-07-30 02:00:19 PM
Is no one going to stand firm with this guy? You seen one dong, you've seen them all...
 
2014-07-30 02:00:26 PM
I have nothing witty to say here so.... Penis.
 
2014-07-30 02:00:37 PM
Were the police real reactionaries?
 
2014-07-30 02:00:57 PM
great one, subby
 
2014-07-30 02:01:04 PM
Could someone explain why Florida has so many weirdo's or is it mainly confirmation bias? Was it some government mindcontrol program in the 70s and 80s or something?
 
2014-07-30 02:02:08 PM

Walker: A man who was naked and masturbating outside an apartment building was tackled by a resident after the man ran away and jumped into a lake

Jumping into a lake isn't the smartest thing to do in Florida. Most of them are filled with alligators.


I'm gonna venture a guess that running and tackling ANYONE masturbating into a lake is generally a bad idea, regardless of state.
 
2014-07-30 02:03:00 PM

Fank: Could someone explain why Florida has so many weirdo's or is it mainly confirmation bias? Was it some government mindcontrol program in the 70s and 80s or something?


Migration. Lots of transplants.
 
2014-07-30 02:04:00 PM

Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: What did they expect naked Florida man to do...

When naked Florida woman...

[img.fark.net image 634x519]

...didn't come home?


Gate Keeper and Key Master?  We gotta get these two together.
 
2014-07-30 02:04:13 PM
Let he who is amongst us, who hath not fully experienced these self-same circumstances, casteth the initial stone.

Go ahead.
 
2014-07-30 02:04:33 PM
Had this problem in my neighborhood when I was growing up.  I would see this stuff on the sidewalks and ask mom if it was bird poo. Mom told me it was the Spackle Fairy and he was leaving his mark and I wasn't supposed to disturb them.  All was well until Mr. Kalifauntis caught the Spackle Fairy spying on Mrs. Kalifauntis.  He really pummeled the Spackle Fairy.  I thought it was dooms for the Spackle Fairy and we'd never see him again.  it wasn't until a few years later, I realized the Spackle Fairy lived on in each and every one of us.  Us guys, that it.
 
2014-07-30 02:05:17 PM
So they beat him off?
 
2014-07-30 02:05:41 PM

Pangit: Walker: A man who was naked and masturbating outside an apartment building was tackled by a resident after the man ran away and jumped into a lake

Jumping into a lake isn't the smartest thing to do in Florida. Most of them are filled with alligators.

I'm gonna venture a guess that running and tackling ANYONE masturbating into a lake is generally a bad idea, regardless of state.


He really wanted out of the Friend Zone.
 
2014-07-30 02:08:11 PM
A man who was naked and masturbating outside an apartment building was tackled by a resident after the man ran away and jumped into a lake ....

She said the man has been to the complex many times naked and masturbating, but runs away when she tells him she's calling police


v007o.popscreen.com
 
2014-07-30 02:08:31 PM
+1
 
2014-07-30 02:09:55 PM

Fank: Could someone explain why Florida has so many weirdo's or is it mainly confirmation bias? Was it some government mindcontrol program in the 70s and 80s or something?


I believe the reason isn't that Florida has more crazies per capital, but instead that they have very lax Freedom of Information laws. Local news can gain access to more details of crimes than elsewhere, revealing the unusual behavior behind them.
 
2014-07-30 02:14:10 PM
In his defense, there's not much else to do when you're naked and alone.
 
2014-07-30 02:14:15 PM
i85.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-30 02:15:57 PM
Arrested in Palm Beach County? That's a hairy situation.
 
2014-07-30 02:16:25 PM
Bush league. At least do it in the lobby.
 
2014-07-30 02:18:30 PM

Mr.Hawk: I have nothing witty to say here so.... Penis.


This.
 
2014-07-30 02:19:44 PM

Mr.Hawk: I have nothing witty to say here so.... Penis.


Boobies.
 
2014-07-30 02:25:58 PM
Is Jimmy Carr writing Fark headlines now?
 
2014-07-30 02:30:53 PM
There are a few too many puns on this thread.  Could the modmins come and rub one out?
 
2014-07-30 02:37:17 PM
... and that's how Globby Lobby got its start.
 
2014-07-30 02:37:24 PM
They changed the channel before I could finish.

/telemundo
 
2014-07-30 02:37:58 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-07-30 02:39:29 PM

Cybernetic: Walker: A man who was naked and masturbating outside an apartment building was tackled by a resident after the man ran away and jumped into a lake

Jumping into a lake isn't the smartest thing to do in Florida. Most of them are filled with alligators.

And starving brain-eating amoebas.


Fixed.
 
2014-07-30 02:49:18 PM
So Sharia Law has come to Florida?  In Europe this happens all the time and nobody bats an eye.  They are so cultured in Europe?  Have I told you I've been there?  It's so great.
 
2014-07-30 02:49:53 PM
Come again?
 
2014-07-30 02:54:16 PM
he was trying to make a deposit.
 
2014-07-30 03:01:23 PM
That's what public parks are for.

/the girls love it!
 
2014-07-30 03:36:59 PM
if that's wrong...
 
2014-07-30 04:32:54 PM
Yeah, that was a real stroke of genius. A gripping tale, all right.
It built right up to a decent climax, by golly. The author sure didn't shoot the whole wad all at once, either.
 
2014-07-30 06:16:07 PM

Fank: Could someone explain why Florida has so many weirdo's or is it mainly confirmation bias? Was it some government mindcontrol program in the 70s and 80s or something?


I think they've been out in the sun a little too long...
 
2014-07-31 09:57:11 AM
he was loitering and told to beat it. literalist?
 
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