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(News On 6 Tulsa)   Old and busted: Online diploma mills. New hotness: Online service animal certification mills, so that you can take your pet with you anywhere, and due to regulations, nobody is allowed to question the validity   ( newson6.com) divider line
    More: Asinine  
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5120 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jul 2014 at 1:02 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-07-30 02:02:58 AM  
3 votes:

tjsands1118: As the next guy seems to be me, I'm calling bullshiat. My dog is not just a piece of property, he is not a person, but he is a living being with his own life that he happily gives up just to be my pet. I would give anything for him and he would do the same for me.


Firstly, no, it wouldn't.  It's a dog.  It wouldn't give anything to you beyond trained and innate pack behavior, which would relatively easily be transferred to the next owner if your stopped feeding it for a month or two.

Secondly, I think you're mistaking clinical mental instability for attachment, a bit, there.


Spermbot: You keep a couple of nuclear reactors around the house?


Right idea, wrong branch of engineering.  Point is, humans anthropomorphize and value anything they've spent a lot of time and effort on, it's just how we organize our worldviews by default and at the extreme end it's where religions come from when someone's out there enough to do it to the damned weather.

The idea that your dog feels human-equivalent love for you is about as real a thing as someone that's restored a classic car assigning it a gender and pretending the engine turning over smoothly is a purr of happiness.  It ain't the dog, it's just another version of your talking to yourself.

This isn't to talk down dogs... they're domestic animals, they've got their own animal stuff going on and it's not  their fault some people lose perspective easily.  But they don't actually have the sunk costs fallacy, they have imprinting and pack behavior, which is a superficially similar but ultimately very different thing.


ski9600: Speaking of people, why don't we have "service people"?  Companions/youngers?


Actually, this is a pretty funny idea.  Technically, your annoying bratty kid that won't shut up is an animal, someone should get their two-year-old classed as a service animal and troll restaurant owners that try to kick them out, bar owners that ban children, etc.

Bonus points if they go with the comfort animal angle.
2014-07-30 01:43:39 AM  
3 votes:

Jim_Callahan: // I love my dogs as much as the next guy, but it's the same love I have for my car, my reactors, or hanging out on the river. Fundamentally they're not people, they're property, and they don't have a legal or moral right to hang out wherever they want.


As the next guy seems to be me, I'm calling bullshiat. My dog is not just a piece of property, he is not a person, but he is a living being with his own life that he happily gives up just to be my pet. I would give anything for him and he would do the same for me.

/Seriously, after these one, just stop, you don't deserve a dog.
2014-07-30 01:06:17 AM  
3 votes:
my lazy service cats comfort me when I'm not feeling productive
2014-07-30 01:49:50 AM  
2 votes:

Jim_Callahan:   Fundamentally they're not people, they're property, and they don't have a legal or moral right to hang out wherever they want.


If a corporation can be a person, I don't see why your dogs can't be people.  Speaking of people, why don't we have "service people"?  Companions/youngers?  We have mentors for the young ones.  There are a lot of un-underemployed, this would be a win-win.
I saw an older woman trying to go to the post office the other day, she drove up in her Pontiac.  I went to lunch and came out to my car again and there she was at the post office still and in a different parking slot.  These are good people who are all alone.
TWX [TotalFark]
2014-07-30 01:27:30 AM  
2 votes:
Good good, we're just about to reach critical-mass, where it'll get so bad that it actually gets fixed.

/a couple of acquaintances breed and raise golden retrievers as service dogs
//it takes probably 1/3 of the dog's life to get it trained properly
///and a good portion of them don't end up getting good enough to use anyway
2014-07-30 01:05:56 AM  
2 votes:
You aren't even allowed to ask for the certification so it's pretty pointless either way.
2014-07-30 10:46:12 AM  
1 vote:
CSB: My mom printed and laminated a somewhat official looking card she copied from the internet so she can push her little mini poodle around in a dog carriage as a "therapy" dog. The dog is nice and loves even heavy-handed attention from kids, AND it's sealed in its carriage in a mesh box so nobody has actual access to it, BUT it's still crap that she does it.

CSB2: While at an all day Ikea outing, my dad (mid 70s) was carrying his 2yr old granddaughter when he had a Doberman seriously growl and lunge at him (it had a gentle-leader on its muzzle) while he was slowly perusing kitchenwares. The tiny owner was shouting "Nein!" at her dog she barely had control of. Her teenage daughters missed the event, and we heard them inquire what happened and the mom said "he made a move", referring to my dad. Other people saw the what happened, reported it, and the lady was escorted out of the store. It was all pretty surreal. My mother did not manage to draw any parallels from the event.
2014-07-30 08:47:28 AM  
1 vote:

DarthBart: Granted, he's a 5 pound chihuahua. I don't think we could get away with it with a 200 pound Newfie that's liable to drop a 5 pound turd on the floor.


You have a chihuahua. You did drop a 5-lb turd on the floor.
2014-07-30 05:12:32 AM  
1 vote:
Currently the only animals permitted as service animals by the ADA are dogs and miniature horses. So that service giraffe is a non-starter.

I have a service dog, my seizure alerter. She is a Standard Poodle who loves her job. When I was hospitalized, she was brought to see me. She sat on my bed with me and greeted all the doctors and nurses on the floor, raising everyone's spirits.

Any type or breed of dog can be a service dog. A chihuahua will function perfectly well as a hearing dog, for instance. I knew one whose job was to smell things--his owner had no sense of smell and needed the dog to warn her of dangerous scents. I have seen pitbulls who worked as stability/balance dogs for people with balance issues.

No dog should be out of control in public. If it is, it needs to be removed immediately.

 After being around dogs and people, which would you prefer to deal with--a clean, well-mannered dog behaving and sitting quietly by its owner, or a bunch of screaming, filthy kids running wild? How about a pack of randy drunks?

Oh, BTW, allergies do not trump someone's need for a service animal.
2014-07-30 02:23:47 AM  
1 vote:
I'm waiting for someone to suffer a severe allergic reaction to a service pet then sue under the ADA for the business not accommodating their medical condition because they had to allow service animals thanks to the ADA

/legitimate service animals for blind people should obviously be allowed.
// therapy pets are bullshiat and those people should be arrested for abusing the system
TWX [TotalFark]
2014-07-30 02:23:31 AM  
1 vote:

OgreMagi: TWX: OgreMagi: The biggest flaw I see is people might go through the online database searching for a service dog that matches their pet.  Not sure how to prevent that.

I have a solution, issue the permit to the patient, not to the animal. That's how handicapped placards and plates work- they're issued to the patient by prescription and then that prescription is "filled" by the motor vehicle department, and when abused and actually caught, can result in fines.

Since service dogs and other service animals usually have clothing in some form on them identifying their status, require that the clothing item or the harness have the permit attached. No permit, no requirement to honor the animal as a service animal. Have the permit feature a picture of the patient too, so that permits can't be traded very easily.

There's a thriving online business selling fake service dog vests and certificates.  Because the law currently prevents anyone from properly questioning credentials, there needs to be some process in place to verify the dog.  Thus my suggestion.


Then license the patient, not the animal. Make the patient provide on demand state-issued ID that certifies them to use a guide dog or other service animal, and make the law reflect their need to provide that proof when asked, otherwise the property-rights of the tenant prevail.

I doubt that most patients that have gone through the process to get a license to have a service dog are going to 'fake it' with an untrained animal. Unlike driving, where the car is licensed in addition to the driver and cars are expected to be on the road, there's no expectation that an animal may be brought on to someone else's property. Licensing the patient would probably be enough since a lack of license means an automatic trespass warning from the tenant should they choose to do so.
2014-07-30 01:54:41 AM  
1 vote:

TWX: OgreMagi: The biggest flaw I see is people might go through the online database searching for a service dog that matches their pet.  Not sure how to prevent that.

I have a solution, issue the permit to the patient, not to the animal. That's how handicapped placards and plates work- they're issued to the patient by prescription and then that prescription is "filled" by the motor vehicle department, and when abused and actually caught, can result in fines.

Since service dogs and other service animals usually have clothing in some form on them identifying their status, require that the clothing item or the harness have the permit attached. No permit, no requirement to honor the animal as a service animal. Have the permit feature a picture of the patient too, so that permits can't be traded very easily.


There's a thriving online business selling fake service dog vests and certificates.  Because the law currently prevents anyone from properly questioning credentials, there needs to be some process in place to verify the dog.  Thus my suggestion.
2014-07-30 01:47:20 AM  
1 vote:

tjsands1118: Jim_Callahan: // I love my dogs as much as the next guy, but it's the same love I have for my car, my reactors, or hanging out on the river. Fundamentally they're not people, they're property, and they don't have a legal or moral right to hang out wherever they want.

As the next guy seems to be me, I'm calling bullshiat. My dog is not just a piece of property, he is not a person, but he is a living being with his own life that he happily gives up just to be my pet. I would give anything for him and he would do the same for me.

/Seriously, after these one, just stop, you don't deserve a dog.


Yes, because the dog has the ability to fully comprehend the situation and make an informed decision regarding his future.

Stop anthropomorphizing an animal.

/dog person
2014-07-30 01:45:46 AM  
1 vote:

Jim_Callahan: ..it's the same love I have for ...my reactors...


You keep a couple of nuclear reactors around the house?
2014-07-30 01:37:48 AM  
1 vote:
Here's my solution to the problem.  Your properly trained and certified dog is issued a serial number.  You must provide this number on demand (a tag on the collar should do).  The dog will have an online profile which will include a picture, description, and the info on how the dog is trained as a service dog (what you are legally allowed to ask).  So what little miss rich biatch shows up with her purse chihuahua but the serial number returns a black lab, you can toss her entitled ass out the door.

No, your farking rat doesn't get certified as an anxiety helper.  It's vermin.
2014-07-30 01:13:52 AM  
1 vote:
I saw someone carrying a rat in the grocery store.  Thanks ADA.
2014-07-30 01:11:29 AM  
1 vote:
This is my emotional needs alligator.
2014-07-30 01:10:02 AM  
1 vote:
If there's a store with big enough automatic doors, I'd love to ride in on a "service horse" one day.
2014-07-30 12:13:22 AM  
1 vote:
Reminds me of some folks who put a large 'Pestalozzi Street Baptist Church' sign on their van every time they drove the party up to Champaign for U of I games. It may have made them less inclined to be scrutinized by the County Sheriff, but it didn't make them Baptists.
2014-07-29 11:55:53 PM  
1 vote:
B-b-b-b-ut it's for THERAPY!

yes, those kind of stories should bring the outrage to Fark.
 
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