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(Orlando Sentinel)   You can now buy shark repellent known as "The Shark Shield"   (orlandosentinel.com ) divider line
    More: Florida  
•       •       •

2694 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jul 2014 at 10:37 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-07-28 08:01:50 PM  
$599 to $699

Seems pretty spendy considering the relative risk level. And haven't these EM devices been around for a while?
 
2014-07-28 08:34:29 PM  
31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-07-28 09:13:51 PM  
img1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-07-28 09:36:15 PM  
But will it repel Sharknados?  Will it?  WILL IT?
 
2014-07-28 10:12:31 PM  
Guaranteed to work or your money back

/just return unused portions
 
2014-07-28 10:24:33 PM  
Chinese fishermen?
 
2014-07-28 10:38:47 PM  
www.awolfamongwolves.com
 
2014-07-28 10:39:27 PM  
The Shark Shield would be a great name for a heavy flow tampon.
 
2014-07-28 10:39:57 PM  

dahmers love zombie: But will it repel Sharknados?  Will it?  WILL IT?


I want to know about ill-tempered mutated sea bass.
 
2014-07-28 10:45:14 PM  
I'm gonna use that in my pool.
 
2014-07-28 10:47:52 PM  
Ok, lemme get this straight. Some mature great white shark, 18-21' in length, weighing as much as 2 grand pianos, is coming straight up at 40 mph towards food, and at the last second, it says,"Argh, some little sound is hurting me, I should stop this."

Right...
 
2014-07-28 10:49:17 PM  
Great. Fantastic. But who's going to do something about these muthafarkin'snakes on a plane?!
 
2014-07-28 10:50:07 PM  

whatisaidwas: Ok, lemme get this straight. Some mature great white shark, 18-21' in length, weighing as much as 2 grand pianos, is coming straight up at 40 mph towards food, and at the last second, it says,"Argh, some little sound is hurting me, I should stop this."

Right...


You haven't watched very many Shark Weeks, have you?

/magnets
 
2014-07-28 10:50:24 PM  
What about candygrams?
 
2014-07-28 10:56:19 PM  
Wonder if it works better than those chemical repellants the Navy was always testing in the 70s, the ones the sharks always referred to as "11 herbs and spices for divers"?
 
2014-07-28 10:57:32 PM  
This stuff is going to be junk.

All shark and no nado.
 
2014-07-28 10:57:49 PM  
img.gawkerassets.com
 
2014-07-28 11:00:21 PM  
 
2014-07-28 11:16:43 PM  
I'm just here for the Batman reference.
 
2014-07-28 11:30:48 PM  
I saw this on my local news station the other night and am a bit skeptical.
 
2014-07-28 11:39:00 PM  
[csb] I got bit by a thresher shark once. Right behind the right knee. I think it liked what it ate, because  it came back around, I slapped it in the gills with a knife and killed it. I ate the bastard(it was a male as far as I could tell... and I've killed a lot of shark) after making a fire right there on the beach. I actually don't think it got a bite, I felt a punch behind my knee while diving for abalone, looked up and saw it and panicked(shark phobia) and it came around so I kicked off the rock reef and tried for an eye and hit a gill. I'm damn lucky I even hit it, although I doubt it could have killed me. Later on I found out that's apparently what you want to hit if you're striking one with a knife. No idea at the time, I was just trying to hit it back before I needed more air.

Dragging a shark bigger than you are on tall up on shore was a chore. Worth it though, with a bit of garlic, pepper and sea salt it made for a delicious barbecue. Bleeding it was a chore, but I was bleeding and cussing and wrapping my leg up in a sub-par bandage someone had grabbed for me so I didn't have to do that, a friend took care of it. I cut out it's jaw while we filleted it, wish I still had it but I lost most of my trophies and specimens in storage when I moved and couldn't cover the costs. The innards of a shark are really interesting actually, I hadn't taken notice when we'd caught smaller leopard sharks and such in the area. Much different than our usual prey of sea bass and rock cod. Tasty damn thing though. I ate most of it, I was pissed off it had bit me and demanded odd parts of it be cooked although I was fine after a couple of beers and kicking the corpse a few times. Even took the fins off of it to make a soup(boring as hell, I think the taste comes from the spices in normal shark fin soup), the gulls didn't have much left to strip off of it after I was done that night.

Was it irrational? Sure, but I'd dived in that spot a hundred times and never been bit. I'd been around bigger sharks than that and none had bothered me apart from my phobia, and while I found dolphin annoying with their "help" none of them had ever messed with me. I'd detail being under a great white there, but really the story was just me pissing myself quietly and finding out I could hold my breath for a minute longer than I thought I could before shooting to the surface and finding my inner monkey as I went up the parts of the rock reef that were over the tide screaming at a friend to bring his dinghy over. Hate shark... unless they're on the grill or on the shore. I'd always been told threshers were harmless(hell, it kind of was, just... farker bit me and drew blood) so I'd ignored it during my dive and the bastard bit me. No scars or anything, but the farker sure did scare me. [/csb]

/sharks really aren't after people, they still spook me though.
//dunno why that one hit me, I was in bright blue trunks and crawling down the rocks, it sure as hell didn't mistake me for a seal.
///still tasty though, I hate to say it but I'll take even an undersized thresher... I've declared a private war on them and kill a few every year, most legal sized but if they're not babies... well, this is a war.
 
2014-07-28 11:45:19 PM  

JonnyBlack: [csb] I got bit by a thresher shark once.


This is one of the most interesting CSBs I've read on Fark.

/will you catch the shark terrorizing our beaches for $10,000?
 
2014-07-28 11:45:25 PM  
Thank you for the Batman references.
 
2014-07-28 11:47:50 PM  
"Shark Shield" sounds like a Marvel/Street Sharks crossover.

/I can't believe I actually remember that cartoon
 
2014-07-29 12:07:20 AM  
You've always been able to buy stuff that doesn't work. You can go buy x-ray glasses right now - doesn't mean you can see through clothes though.
 
2014-07-29 12:57:21 AM  

grinding_journalist: JonnyBlack: [csb] I got bit by a thresher shark once.

This is one of the most interesting CSBs I've read on Fark.

/will you catch the shark terrorizing our beaches for $10,000?


Unlikely.

/ He used dive for fish, then he took a shark to the knee.
 
2014-07-29 01:25:10 AM  

Solty Dog: What about candygrams?


Give it to Mongo.
 
2014-07-29 01:30:37 AM  
Done in two.
 
2014-07-29 01:32:39 AM  
OM NOM NOM NOM NOM

media.giphy.com
 
2014-07-29 02:01:51 AM  
I just love the "Whale Repellent". You can never be too careful!
 
2014-07-29 02:52:56 AM  

geoduck42: I just love the "Whale Repellent". You can never be too careful!


Agrees:

img.fark.net
 
2014-07-29 06:24:16 AM  

snake_beater: "Shark Shield" sounds like a Marvel/Street Sharks crossover.

/I can't believe I actually remember that cartoon


What? That show was awesome! Nothing like shark and pavement puns to make a kids' show pop.

Right up there in the memory banks beside Cows of Moo Mesa and Biker Mice from Mars.
 
2014-07-29 07:04:41 AM  
Okay. But what if they attack you from the front?
 
2014-07-29 07:19:09 AM  
Pictured: Shark repellent
media.treehugger.com

100% guaranteed.
 
2014-07-29 07:43:34 AM  

Mugato: [31.media.tumblr.com image 500x384]

Thanks. This is why I showed up.
 
2014-07-29 08:19:45 AM  

fusillade762: $599 to $699

Seems pretty spendy considering the relative risk level. And haven't these EM devices been around for a while?


I have a friend that's been using one for a while. You're right that the risk level for divers is, in general, pretty low, but there can be some mitigating factors.

For one, a lot of the likely customers are spear-fishers. Now, we can debate the wisdom of that particular activity, but I think we can all agree that it certainly increases the chances of a negative encounter with a shark.

Secondly, bull sharks are pretty common in Florida, and they can be aggressive. A bull shark feeling territorial and/or interested in the hogfish hanging from your stringer? That shark can be  very aggressive.

My friend swears by his shark shield. This is an anecdote, not datum, but he's a pretty no-nonsense guy. When he tells me of watching an 8-foot bull abruptly turn away like it hit a wall, I tend to lend him the benefit of the doubt.
 
2014-07-29 09:06:48 AM  
"Now, there's only one way to test that..."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBjelRDKHUk#t=410

or

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5ZkdHImCuQ

/Here's your sign.
 
2014-07-29 09:21:50 AM  

fusillade762: $599 to $699

Seems pretty spendy considering the relative risk level. And haven't these EM devices been around for a while?


I have found that many surfers hate them - because if you cannot afford them, they seem to attract sharks, but denying them the bait they want -> they go after the surfers without it.

"Hmm what is this signal ... ouch ... oh there is something easier ... yum yum."
 
2014-07-29 09:25:53 AM  

whatisaidwas: Ok, lemme get this straight. Some mature great white shark, 18-21' in length, weighing as much as 2 grand pianos, is coming straight up at 40 mph towards food, and at the last second, it says,"Argh, some little sound is hurting me, I should stop this."

Right...


Research showed exactly that - once it has it's target, this doesn't stop it.  But it does seem to keep things away if the environment is not 'exciting'. If a great white wants you then you are most likely dinner (remember when it is ripping you apart to attempt to stab you fingers into its eyes ... you might get lucky and only lose a limb instead of your life.)
 
2014-07-29 09:27:11 AM  
OMG, now I can finally leave my apartment

I live in Minneapolis, but the river is, like, right there
 
2014-07-29 09:35:29 AM  

JonnyBlack: [csb] I got bit by a thresher shark once. Right behind the right knee. I think it liked what it ate, because  it came back around, I slapped it in the gills with a knife and killed it. I ate the bastard(it was a male as far as I could tell... and I've killed a lot of shark) after making a fire right there on the beach. I actually don't think it got a bite, I felt a punch behind my knee while diving for abalone, looked up and saw it and panicked(shark phobia) and it came around so I kicked off the rock reef and tried for an eye and hit a gill. I'm damn lucky I even hit it, although I doubt it could have killed me. Later on I found out that's apparently what you want to hit if you're striking one with a knife. No idea at the time, I was just trying to hit it back before I needed more air.

Dragging a shark bigger than you are on tall up on shore was a chore. Worth it though, with a bit of garlic, pepper and sea salt it made for a delicious barbecue. Bleeding it was a chore, but I was bleeding and cussing and wrapping my leg up in a sub-par bandage someone had grabbed for me so I didn't have to do that, a friend took care of it. I cut out it's jaw while we filleted it, wish I still had it but I lost most of my trophies and specimens in storage when I moved and couldn't cover the costs. The innards of a shark are really interesting actually, I hadn't taken notice when we'd caught smaller leopard sharks and such in the area. Much different than our usual prey of sea bass and rock cod. Tasty damn thing though. I ate most of it, I was pissed off it had bit me and demanded odd parts of it be cooked although I was fine after a couple of beers and kicking the corpse a few times. Even took the fins off of it to make a soup(boring as hell, I think the taste comes from the spices in normal shark fin soup), the gulls didn't have much left to strip off of it after I was done that night.

Was it irrational? Sure, but I'd dived in that spot a hundred times and never been bit. I'd be ...


I killed lots as a kid, alas we never ate them, just gutted them and put them in the water to attract more *blush* I feel ashamed these days.
 
2014-07-29 09:36:09 AM  

Mugato: [31.media.tumblr.com image 500x384]


I came to see this. A thousand blessings on your home.
 
2014-07-29 10:25:18 AM  
As an engineer, I'm curious about what's inside and what signals it emits. Can't wait for someone to tear one down...
 
2014-07-29 10:26:38 AM  
As an engineer, I'm curious about what's inside and what signals it emits. Can't wait for someone to tear one down...Chinese copies should be out soon (50% chance the one you bought for $19.95 actually works)
 
2014-07-29 10:27:11 AM  
I didn't fear sharks until one of them attacked me and my family while we were riding a tram at Universal Studios.
 
2014-07-29 12:52:45 PM  
CSB:

Years ago, we had a company deep sea fishing trip in FL. We told one of our not-so-bright employees that the sea snakes were really bad that particular year and asked if he brought any sea snake repellent. Of course since there is no such thing, we had to improvise and use random spray bottles to emphasize that "I brought mine" from everyone else. We stopped at a few small fruit stands on the way to FL and made sure he asked if they had sea snake spray at each one. The looks he got and the laughs we had were priceless. I wish we still had that guy - he was fun to mess with...
 
2014-07-29 12:56:45 PM  

ka1axy: As an engineer, I'm curious about what's inside and what signals it emits. Can't wait for someone to tear one down...Chinese copies should be out soon (50% chance the one you bought for $19.95 actually works)


The main study: http://www.abc.net.au/local/stories/2012/06/20/3529306.htm

You can find the actual research paper online but the link was too convoluted to post.
 
2014-07-29 09:38:38 PM  
img.fark.net

?
 
2014-07-30 01:01:19 AM  

MythDragon: Pictured: Shark repellent
[media.treehugger.com image 468x334]

100% guaranteed.


What the hell is that horse giving birth to?
 
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