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(WWE)   How will Cena respond to Heyman's promo? Did Stephanie survive her trip to county lockup? Will we witness the formation of a new Nation of Domination? Can Ryder win twice in a row? Find out on WWE Raw (8pm est, USA/WWE Network)   (wwe.com) divider line 1851
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236 clicks; posted to Sports » on 28 Jul 2014 at 7:12 PM (7 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-28 08:49:14 AM
Hey folks!  The road to Summerslam is moving full-speed, so where to from here?  We all know the main event is "booked" (I still think lolcenawins, imo), but how does the rest of the card shape up?

Two things to watch this week for sure:  1)Kofi/BigE/Xavier.  New NOD?    2)TNA was just cancelled by SpikeTV, effective in October.  Does this impact WWE storylines at all?

Anyway, here's the checklist!


Weekly RAW Checklist(or for watching fark burn)

originally created by ManofPa, Dougie AXP, and hundreddollarman



1) Every 25th post is "ARMBAR!" & every 1004th post is "moss covered 3 handled family gredunza"
2) Karate Explosion, the weekly heel we deserve, asks why this isn't in the Entertainment tab
3) Pretty GM is stalked by KellyKellyKelly
4) "Never mind that shiat, here comes Mongo!"
5) Bah Gawd King, that's the nPo's music!
6) I AM THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!
7) NOPE!
8) Because Fark you, that's why
9) [REDACTED]
10) The Great and Powerful ShiningWizard appears
11) Dolph Ziggler's guide to selling and athletic sex
12) Mizark Appreciation Time
13) Out of nowhere, it's VINTAGE ORTON!
14) Where's Cena? Is someone talking about Cena? WHERE'S CENA?
15) It's best-ah for this business-ah!
16) YOU BLOW OUT AN ELECTRIC LAMP!
17) Screw it, you aren't even reading this one. ARMBRA! (link it NSFW)
18) Once a PPV cycle, just like Taker....the "It's Me" pic returns
19) JFSP shows up late and gives a full recap; posts Cena (ultra-rare quality item)
20) Last APP Reference Standing
21) "Bobby, what's that?"  "No worries, Gorilla, that's just Tony making his 'meh' face"
22) An FWC member loses their smile
23) BONUS: FWC member in the crowd and/or seen on TV
 
2014-07-28 09:17:25 AM
In response to the headline

1: It will be something about always being there for the fans while Bork Lester is only there half the time.
2: Hopefully there will be film footage, similar to those films in the 80s about women's prison...
3: I don't think Vince needs to go back to the faction of angry black men.
4: Not a chance in hell.

In response to GMJ:

1: see above
2: did TNA's existence ever affect WWE's scripts?
 
2014-07-28 09:57:44 AM
Why isn't this in the politics tab?
 
2014-07-28 10:02:58 AM

nekom: Why isn't this in the politics tab?


personally, it would be funny to see Harry Reid hit Mitch McConnell with a steel chair.
 
2014-07-28 11:01:16 AM
To answer subby:

1. By cutting a promo about whether you like him or not he's here to stay, much like the last 5,000 promos he's given.

2. Probably, but she'll be even biatchier and possibly pissed at HHH for not coming to the county jail sooner.

3. Hopefully.

4. No. Don't be silly.
 
2014-07-28 11:08:55 AM

ManateeGag: In response to GMJ:

1: see above
2: did TNA's existence ever affect WWE's scripts?


1. True, but I think they could channel it in a similar but still different direction.  Namely, have Xavier start pulling that same gimmick on other mid/low-card guys.  Eventually, he could amass a group of disaffected guys who buy his idea that they have wallowed in the mid-card for too long, and need to "take" their shot at the top.  Could make for a good "us vs. the authority" angle

2.  Ok, probably not specifically, but the existence of even token competition is better than none at all.  :)
 
2014-07-28 11:10:33 AM

ManateeGag: nekom: Why isn't this in the politics tab?

personally, it would be funny to see Harry Reid hit Mitch McConnell with a steel chair.


BAH GAWD, RUBIO IS HERE!  AND HE'S SPRAYING DOWN THE AUTHORITY WITH POLAND SPRING WATER!
 
2014-07-28 11:19:15 AM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: ManateeGag: nekom: Why isn't this in the politics tab?

personally, it would be funny to see Harry Reid hit Mitch McConnell with a steel chair.

BAH GAWD, RUBIO IS HERE!  AND HE'S SPRAYING DOWN THE AUTHORITY WITH POLAND SPRING WATER!


since Rubio constantly has dry mouth, he may not make it past the wellness policy.
 
2014-07-28 11:45:00 AM

ManateeGag: Grand_Moff_Joseph: ManateeGag: nekom: Why isn't this in the politics tab?

personally, it would be funny to see Harry Reid hit Mitch McConnell with a steel chair.

BAH GAWD, RUBIO IS HERE!  AND HE'S SPRAYING DOWN THE AUTHORITY WITH POLAND SPRING WATER!

since Rubio constantly has dry mouth, he may not make it past the wellness policy.


Zing!  :D
 
2014-07-28 12:38:30 PM
I have existed since the morning of the world, and I shall exist until the last star falls from the night! Although I have taken the form of Captain Steroid, I am all men as I am no man. And as no man, I am therefore...

i1182.photobucket.com

... the Global Legendary Television Champion of the World!

This title has been held by some of the finest smarks the fWc has to offer... The_Y2P_Problem, FirstNationalBastard, silgryphon of the nPo, and even ShiningWizard, the Queen of the Ponies, just to name a few! BATMANATEE, my greatest rival, holds the record for the longest reign of any FARKer at 84 days. But I, Captain Steroid, have held this championship SEVEN times over the course of its existence, and I had planned to hold it longer still!

But, it seems fate has other ideas...

The TNA threads that this championship had called "home" will soon be no more. In the near future, there will be no need for a Global Legendary Television Champion of the World. Like TNA Wrestling, this championship, a championship I, myself, had created to foster a spirit of competition between fellow FARKers, is destined to die. -_-

Some have wondered what will be the ultimate fate of this title. Do I keep defending in non-existent TNA threads? Do I just toss it away in a dumpster? No, and no. This championship deserves better than that.

TONIGHT, for the first, only, and last time, I will put MY Global Legendary Television Championship of the World on the line in a WWE RAW thread... in a UNIFICATION MATCH with the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Gredunza Championship! Whoever wins the Gredunza tonight will also win the GLTV title, and become the UNDISPUTED Champion of the fWc!

And that person... is going to be ME. >:-)

*drops mic*
 
2014-07-28 01:29:12 PM
Well, that sucks. I'm going to have to retire the Bizarro Mongo meme. There's room for only one, anyway, and the original flavor is where it's at.

"... from the Harley Races, to the Barry Windhams... to the Ric Flairs..."

"Never mind that shiat, here comes Mongo!"


i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-28 01:33:50 PM
I said it in the RIPLOLTNA thread and I'll say it here:  please re-consider merging the GLTV title with the gredunza.  The NASFARK community would love to have a belt, and rather than let this belt go off into the sunset, we could keep it alive over there.

So please, reconsider letting it go away.
 
2014-07-28 01:36:46 PM
UPDATED #fWc TWITTER LIST 07/28/2014

Bobby_and_The_Gorilla - @BobbyandGorilla
bluorangefyre - @bluorangefyre
CapnPlaty - @ChrisCarlisle
Cheezitmojo - @TheBusyGuy
clintster - @clintster
cman - @q64ceo
Corteran - @Corteran
CyberKultist - @CyberKultist
cynicalminion - @CynicalMinion
Dagrin - @DagrinRDM
Daquin - @ThePecoraro
dm26tg1 - @dm26tg1
Dougie AXP - @Dougie_AXP
DrunkenGator - @DrunkenGator
dyertek - @dyertek
eagles95 - @marksimundza
Eddie T. Head - @MatthewJans
Eddievercetti - @eddievercetti
FingFangFark - @FingFangFark
Fisty Bum - @mrbryane
globalwarmingpraiser - @gwpfarker
Grand_Moff_Joseph - @Grand_Moff_Joseph
Gunny Highway - @Ixepex
hachimaki2234 - @superdonjuanson
hobblekitty - @hobblekitty
Hospitaller - @doug_ellsworth
hundreddollarman - @FakeEmmanuel
IAmTheTagTeamChampions - @NXJ13
Igor Jakovsky - @TCGator97
Irishman4 - @mike1238
Jetskimoo - @coffeesnob42
Jim from Saint Paul - @Jim_from_SP
JiMHaT - @jim4stek
Jsam21 - @coach_Sampson21
Karate Explosion - @x_prozak_x
LoR75 - @LoR1975
LucklessWonder - @lost_limey
Machoprogrammer - @WrestlingMark2
MagSeven - @magseven27
My Lip Balm Addiction - @UWBushtit
Mztlplx - @tinfoil_fedora
nathanjr - @DC_Gardener
Nick el Ass - @realnickelass
Nug - @Nug13
Otackle72 - @rebelsot72
P-Money All $tar - @FiveDollarFreak
Rated-Mk17 - @Rated_MK17
Representative of the Unwashed Masses - @Canada_Smartass
Rhames - @BlitzerRhames
robertus - @sublimeidealist
Russ Feingold's Brass Balls - @khabi715
Rwa2play - @Rwa2play
Sallyjuneabigailmay - @PlayerIchi
Sarahlh3 - @Sarahlh3EsqLite
Sbdolan - @sbdolan
Shining Wizard - @SlicedBread02
Supercampion - @alexaitis
tbaughm - @blkholesun
Tenor Reaper - @darksaiyajin_26
The Buzzards - @FTBuzzards
Triple Oak - @hulkpez
Vebaltoxin - @JDGannonWriter
Vorral @Vorral
Wellbred Hillbilly - @ViennaFire
WippitGuud - @wippitguud


Anyone else, add yourself, if you're in a faction and I'll update. You follow us, we'll follow you!
When using Twitter use #fWc To view current list click on my fark name Supercampion
 
2014-07-28 02:10:31 PM
It's amazing how WWE keeps churning out subpar stories and TNA keeps sucking hind tit at every opportunity.
 
2014-07-28 02:14:31 PM

bluorangefyre: I said it in the RIPLOLTNA thread and I'll say it here:  please re-consider merging the GLTV title with the gredunza.  The NASFARK community would love to have a belt, and rather than let this belt go off into the sunset, we could keep it alive over there.

So please, reconsider letting it go away.


The die has been cast. Sorry. -_-
 
2014-07-28 02:16:57 PM

Captain Steroid: I have existed since the morning of the world, and I shall exist until the last star falls from the night! Although I have taken the form of Captain Steroid, I am all men as I am no man. And as no man, I am therefore...

[i1182.photobucket.com image 595x262]

... the Global Legendary Television Champion of the World!

This title has been held by some of the finest smarks the fWc has to offer... The_Y2P_Problem, FirstNationalBastard, silgryphon of the nPo, and even ShiningWizard, the Queen of the Ponies, just to name a few! BATMANATEE, my greatest rival, holds the record for the longest reign of any FARKer at 84 days. But I, Captain Steroid, have held this championship SEVEN times over the course of its existence, and I had planned to hold it longer still!

But, it seems fate has other ideas...

The TNA threads that this championship had called "home" will soon be no more. In the near future, there will be no need for a Global Legendary Television Champion of the World. Like TNA Wrestling, this championship, a championship I, myself, had created to foster a spirit of competition between fellow FARKers, is destined to die. -_-

Some have wondered what will be the ultimate fate of this title. Do I keep defending in non-existent TNA threads? Do I just toss it away in a dumpster? No, and no. This championship deserves better than that.

TONIGHT, for the first, only, and last time, I will put MY Global Legendary Television Championship of the World on the line in a WWE RAW thread... in a UNIFICATION MATCH with the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Gredunza Championship! Whoever wins the Gredunza tonight will also win the GLTV title, and become the UNDISPUTED Champion of the fWc!

And that person... is going to be ME. >:-)

*drops mic*


you're going to have to tie SW's hands together so she can't submit and posts, or shove her in a shoe box and tape it closed...
 
2014-07-28 02:32:38 PM

ManateeGag: Captain Steroid: I have existed since the morning of the world, and I shall exist until the last star falls from the night! Although I have taken the form of Captain Steroid, I am all men as I am no man. And as no man, I am therefore...

[i1182.photobucket.com image 595x262]

... the Global Legendary Television Champion of the World!

This title has been held by some of the finest smarks the fWc has to offer... The_Y2P_Problem, FirstNationalBastard, silgryphon of the nPo, and even ShiningWizard, the Queen of the Ponies, just to name a few! BATMANATEE, my greatest rival, holds the record for the longest reign of any FARKer at 84 days. But I, Captain Steroid, have held this championship SEVEN times over the course of its existence, and I had planned to hold it longer still!

But, it seems fate has other ideas...

The TNA threads that this championship had called "home" will soon be no more. In the near future, there will be no need for a Global Legendary Television Champion of the World. Like TNA Wrestling, this championship, a championship I, myself, had created to foster a spirit of competition between fellow FARKers, is destined to die. -_-

Some have wondered what will be the ultimate fate of this title. Do I keep defending in non-existent TNA threads? Do I just toss it away in a dumpster? No, and no. This championship deserves better than that.

TONIGHT, for the first, only, and last time, I will put MY Global Legendary Television Championship of the World on the line in a WWE RAW thread... in a UNIFICATION MATCH with the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Gredunza Championship! Whoever wins the Gredunza tonight will also win the GLTV title, and become the UNDISPUTED Champion of the fWc!

And that person... is going to be ME. >:-)

*drops mic*

you're going to have to tie SW's hands together so she can't submit and posts, or shove her in a shoe box and tape it closed...


Why would I do that? I like SW! :-(
 
2014-07-28 02:45:45 PM

Captain Steroid: ManateeGag: Captain Steroid: I have existed since the morning of the world, and I shall exist until the last star falls from the night! Although I have taken the form of Captain Steroid, I am all men as I am no man. And as no man, I am therefore...

[i1182.photobucket.com image 595x262]

... the Global Legendary Television Champion of the World!

This title has been held by some of the finest smarks the fWc has to offer... The_Y2P_Problem, FirstNationalBastard, silgryphon of the nPo, and even ShiningWizard, the Queen of the Ponies, just to name a few! BATMANATEE, my greatest rival, holds the record for the longest reign of any FARKer at 84 days. But I, Captain Steroid, have held this championship SEVEN times over the course of its existence, and I had planned to hold it longer still!

But, it seems fate has other ideas...

The TNA threads that this championship had called "home" will soon be no more. In the near future, there will be no need for a Global Legendary Television Champion of the World. Like TNA Wrestling, this championship, a championship I, myself, had created to foster a spirit of competition between fellow FARKers, is destined to die. -_-

Some have wondered what will be the ultimate fate of this title. Do I keep defending in non-existent TNA threads? Do I just toss it away in a dumpster? No, and no. This championship deserves better than that.

TONIGHT, for the first, only, and last time, I will put MY Global Legendary Television Championship of the World on the line in a WWE RAW thread... in a UNIFICATION MATCH with the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Gredunza Championship! Whoever wins the Gredunza tonight will also win the GLTV title, and become the UNDISPUTED Champion of the fWc!

And that person... is going to be ME. >:-)

*drops mic*

you're going to have to tie SW's hands together so she can't submit and posts, or shove her in a shoe box and tape it closed...

Why would I do that? I like SW! :-(


if you want to win the title, you have to stop her.  I'm not saying permanently, just until you win.
 
2014-07-28 03:38:25 PM

Captain Steroid: I have existed since the morning of the world, and I shall exist until the last star falls from the night! Although I have taken the form of Captain Steroid, I am all men as I am no man. And as no man, I am therefore...

[i1182.photobucket.com image 595x262]

... the Global Legendary Television Champion of the World!

This title has been held by some of the finest smarks the fWc has to offer... The_Y2P_Problem, FirstNationalBastard, silgryphon of the nPo, and even ShiningWizard, the Queen of the Ponies, just to name a few! BATMANATEE, my greatest rival, holds the record for the longest reign of any FARKer at 84 days. But I, Captain Steroid, have held this championship SEVEN times over the course of its existence, and I had planned to hold it longer still!

But, it seems fate has other ideas...

The TNA threads that this championship had called "home" will soon be no more. In the near future, there will be no need for a Global Legendary Television Champion of the World. Like TNA Wrestling, this championship, a championship I, myself, had created to foster a spirit of competition between fellow FARKers, is destined to die. -_-

Some have wondered what will be the ultimate fate of this title. Do I keep defending in non-existent TNA threads? Do I just toss it away in a dumpster? No, and no. This championship deserves better than that.

TONIGHT, for the first, only, and last time, I will put MY Global Legendary Television Championship of the World on the line in a WWE RAW thread... in a UNIFICATION MATCH with the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Gredunza Championship! Whoever wins the Gredunza tonight will also win the GLTV title, and become the UNDISPUTED Champion of the fWc!

And that person... is going to be ME. >:-)

*drops mic*


That's stupid.

I always considered this and the MMMM belt the same thing anyway.
 
2014-07-28 03:53:17 PM
So who actually thinks TNA has a chance of getting another TV contract between now and then. I was talking to Kenny King last night before our show and he was really bummed out, then he told me why. Story broke a little while later.
 
2014-07-28 04:01:07 PM

ManateeGag: Captain Steroid: ManateeGag: Captain Steroid: I have existed since the morning of the world, and I shall exist until the last star falls from the night! Although I have taken the form of Captain Steroid, I am all men as I am no man. And as no man, I am therefore...

[i1182.photobucket.com image 595x262]

... the Global Legendary Television Champion of the World!

This title has been held by some of the finest smarks the fWc has to offer... The_Y2P_Problem, FirstNationalBastard, silgryphon of the nPo, and even ShiningWizard, the Queen of the Ponies, just to name a few! BATMANATEE, my greatest rival, holds the record for the longest reign of any FARKer at 84 days. But I, Captain Steroid, have held this championship SEVEN times over the course of its existence, and I had planned to hold it longer still!

But, it seems fate has other ideas...

The TNA threads that this championship had called "home" will soon be no more. In the near future, there will be no need for a Global Legendary Television Champion of the World. Like TNA Wrestling, this championship, a championship I, myself, had created to foster a spirit of competition between fellow FARKers, is destined to die. -_-

Some have wondered what will be the ultimate fate of this title. Do I keep defending in non-existent TNA threads? Do I just toss it away in a dumpster? No, and no. This championship deserves better than that.

TONIGHT, for the first, only, and last time, I will put MY Global Legendary Television Championship of the World on the line in a WWE RAW thread... in a UNIFICATION MATCH with the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Gredunza Championship! Whoever wins the Gredunza tonight will also win the GLTV title, and become the UNDISPUTED Champion of the fWc!

And that person... is going to be ME. >:-)

*drops mic*

you're going to have to tie SW's hands together so she can't submit and posts, or shove her in a shoe box and tape it closed...

Why would I do that? I like SW! :-(

if you want to win the title, you have to stop her.  I'm not saying permanently, just until you win.


I actually snorted at the shoe box crack, lulz!
You forget that I am no longer chasing gredunzas during Raw threads though. Just PPV's
 
2014-07-28 04:02:10 PM

ManateeGag: you're going to have to tie SW's hands together so she can't submit and posts, or shove her in a shoe box and tape it closed...


Me channels his inner Brad Pitt and asks 'WHAT'S IN THE BOX?!"
 
2014-07-28 04:06:08 PM

FirstNationalBastard: MMMM belt


The MMMM belt is a custom Pinkie Pie creation; it exists in its own plane of reality.  :D
 
2014-07-28 04:13:27 PM

Polartank13: So who actually thinks TNA has a chance of getting another TV contract between now and then. I was talking to Kenny King last night before our show and he was really bummed out, then he told me why. Story broke a little while later.


I would have to think that some cable channel out there would love to have a pretty much guaranteed million viewer show every week. Granted it may take a bit after the switch to get back up to that number but there are tons of shows on basic cable that wish they averaged half that audience per new episode.

Personally I'd like to see Vince buy it and put it on A&E or Fox Sports 2 and give Heyman creative control over it as a separate company. Only let the 2 brands interact at WrestleMania or something
 
2014-07-28 04:19:24 PM

ShiningWizard: Personally I'd like to see Vince buy it and put it on A&E or Fox Sports 2 and give Heyman creative control over it as a separate company.


as long as he lets someone else control the checkbook, I'd be OK with this.
 
2014-07-28 04:31:59 PM

ManateeGag: ShiningWizard: Personally I'd like to see Vince buy it and put it on A&E or Fox Sports 2 and give Heyman creative control over it as a separate company.

as long as he lets someone else control the checkbook, I'd be OK with this.


Exactly. Just let him head the creative team and manage the roster. But if they need a decent accountant I may know someone who would jump at the chance... XD
 
2014-07-28 04:34:39 PM

ShiningWizard: ManateeGag: ShiningWizard: Personally I'd like to see Vince buy it and put it on A&E or Fox Sports 2 and give Heyman creative control over it as a separate company.

as long as he lets someone else control the checkbook, I'd be OK with this.

Exactly. Just let him head the creative team and manage the roster. But if they need a decent accountant I may know someone who would jump at the chance... XD


can you wrestle a checkbook away from a 230 pound, balding man?
 
2014-07-28 05:12:29 PM

ShiningWizard: Polartank13: So who actually thinks TNA has a chance of getting another TV contract between now and then. I was talking to Kenny King last night before our show and he was really bummed out, then he told me why. Story broke a little while later.

I would have to think that some cable channel out there would love to have a pretty much guaranteed million viewer show every week. Granted it may take a bit after the switch to get back up to that number but there are tons of shows on basic cable that wish they averaged half that audience per new episode.

Personally I'd like to see Vince buy it and put it on A&E or Fox Sports 2 and give Heyman creative control over it as a separate company. Only let the 2 brands interact at WrestleMania or something


He had his chance at that once....never again after that clusterfark that was the invasion. If he could put his ego in check and let Paul Heyman run it..then maybe...but Vince Sr putting his ego in check...never going to happen.
 
2014-07-28 05:15:19 PM

ShiningWizard: ManateeGag: ShiningWizard: Personally I'd like to see Vince buy it and put it on A&E or Fox Sports 2 and give Heyman creative control over it as a separate company.

as long as he lets someone else control the checkbook, I'd be OK with this.

Exactly. Just let him head the creative team and manage the roster. But if they need a decent accountant I may know someone who would jump at the chance... XD


I'm a CPA and I do the books (couple of hours a month...maybe) for our local group, and I've told my wife there's only one way I move back to the east coast...if I got in with WWE

/not TNA, I would be afraid their check would bounce
 
2014-07-28 06:10:33 PM

Polartank13: ShiningWizard: ManateeGag: ShiningWizard: Personally I'd like to see Vince buy it and put it on A&E or Fox Sports 2 and give Heyman creative control over it as a separate company.

as long as he lets someone else control the checkbook, I'd be OK with this.

Exactly. Just let him head the creative team and manage the roster. But if they need a decent accountant I may know someone who would jump at the chance... XD

I'm a CPA and I do the books (couple of hours a month...maybe) for our local group, and I've told my wife there's only one way I move back to the east coast...if I got in with WWE

/not TNA, I would be afraid their check would bounce


YOU TOO?!? Awesome!

If a fantasy McMahon backed TNA with Paul E at the controls were to ever exist I don't think they would be lacking for capital. But trying to cook the books for the current TNA? Career suicide!

I agree Vince had a great shot with the WCW takeover and blew it but with Heyman running creative I would give it a way better than average chance of working out
 
2014-07-28 06:31:04 PM

ShiningWizard: YOU TOO?!? Awesome!


Two CPAs in here?

Sweet!  Now we know who to ask to handle the books for the FWC's nascent global enterprise.  First t-shirts, then hats, capes, lingerie, you name it!  :D


/and we'll need someone to handle the real books too
//you know, those books, where we pay for the blackjack and hookers
 
2014-07-28 06:41:08 PM
ShiningWizard:

YOU TOO?!? Awesome!

If a fantasy McMahon backed TNA with Paul E at the controls were to ever exist I don't think they would be lacking for capital. But trying to cook the books for the current TNA? Career suicide!

I agree Vince had a great shot with the WCW takeover and blew it but with Heyman running creative I would give it a way better than average chance of working out


Yup...passed down in Virginia back in 2000. There's got to be an accountant pony somewhere...I would absolutely trust Heyman doing the booking...I just don't trust an even partially invested Vince.

Funny story...D'Lo Brown is one of our part-time trainers...and he was at one of our big shows. A lot of people are asking him the usual stuff, and you can see he's getting bored...I get up to him "So, Tax or Audit?" He smiles and says "Audit, all the way." And we had a thoroughly boring, to everyone else, conversation about accounting issues for a good couple of hours.
 
2014-07-28 06:57:29 PM

The #FWC Welcome Wagon


Some of you may recall from last week that Katie Nolan, the host of 'No Filter' for FoxSports.com, expressed interest in watching WWE with fans that could explain to her what's going on (and why).
I, and a number of other folks chimed in and invited her to hop into the thread and join in the fun. I've extended that same invitation to her this week via Twitter, and while she hasn't responded to me personally, that doesn't mean she won't at least cruise by the thread and see what's going on.

With that in mind, I'd like to officially roll out the red carpet for Ms. Nolan, and welcome her to the weekly Fark Wrestling Community's WWE thread!


Thanks to some help from Ben C. from our FB group, we've compiled a Cliff Notes summary of the main players that you might see on TV tonight, and their current feuds (also called 'angles' in the wrestling world).

John Cena/Brock Lesnar -- At least according to WWE, this is the top feud in the company at the moment.  Cena won the championship for the 15th time at the recent Money in the Bank PPV.  Lesnar is a part-time WWE guy who made his name in the UFC ring.  Lesnar will wrestle Cena for the belt at the next PPV, Summerslam

Jericho/Wyatt -- Chris Jericho is a part time guy too, but with a long career in WWE and elsewhere.  He comes back to WWE in-between tours of his band, Fozzy.  He's currently feuding with Bray Wyatt, the leader of the Wyatt Family trio

Usos/Family -- Jimmy & Jay Uso are the current tag team champs, and are feuding with the other two members of the Wyatt family, Luke and Rowan

AJ/Paige -- AJ Lee is the current Divas champion.  She recently returned from a hiatus (where she legit married CM Punk) and swiped the belt back from Paige, who is a recent call up from WWE's 'monir league', NXT.  The two women are feuding over the title.

Nikki/Authority -- Nikki Bella is one-half of the Bella Twins tag team with her (real) twin sister, Brie (who recently married Daniel Bryan and is on hiatus).  Nikki is currently feuding with "The Authority", which consists of Triple H and Stephanie McMahon (who are legit married)

All other Divas -- Random matches with random divas.  Only a few of them have real in-ring skills, which will become apparent if you see any of their matches

Fandango/Random (Summer/Layla) -- Fandango is feiduign with two of the dancers who normally accompany him to the ring - Summer and Layla.  The girls are exacting revenge on him by costing him matches week after week.

Sheamus/? -- Tough guy with an Irish gimmick.  Pretty cool overall, but his gimmick is kind of stale.  We like to call him the Irish Cena.

Sandow -- A sad story if there ever was one.  Talented guy currently stuck in a gimmick of cosplaying as someone new each week and losing his matches.

Miz/Dolph -- Feud between two Cleveland natives.  Miz iz the current Intercontinental Champ, after gaining a sneak victory over Dolph at the most recent PPV, Battleground.  Dolph is the fan favortite by far, though Miz has a few fans in the FWC too.  :)

Rusev/Swagger -- A re-hash of the US/Soviet angle that played out in the 80s between Hulk Hogan and Volkov/The Iron Sheik.  Rusev is escorted by Lana, who likes to extoll the virtue of Putin and make fun of America.  Swagger is escorted by Zeb Colter, who is essentially playing a rabid Tea Party guy amped up to 11. (though based on right-wing forums, they don't get that the jokes on them yet)

---------------------------------------
Now, as for the FWC itself, I'll try to keep this simple:

*The checklist -- A running gag from the very beginning, we like to check off things that normally occur either on the show itself, or in the thread.

*Moss Covered Three Handled Family Gredunza -- This is a reference to an old Chris Jericho promo, which itself referenced a Dr. Seuss book.  In his promo, Jericho claimed he was the "Master of 1004 Holds", and named the Gredunza as hold #1004.  We created a championship belt to honor this idea, with the belt awarded weekly to the person that gets Weeners004 and mentions gredunza in said post.

*Post 502 -- This is half of 1004, so for post 502, we award the "I am the tag team champions" belt to the person with post 502

*Factions -- We like a few little mini-groups (factions) in the FWC, and we like to (humorously) give each other a hard time.  Our largest faction is the No Pony Order (NPO), which was formed to counter the influence of the Nexus faction, which consists mainly of folks who like WWE and cartoon ponies.  We also have a 'Legends' club on another board, which we refer to as FWC Japan.  These are some of the original members of the FWC, and they do pop in on occasion.
 
2014-07-28 06:59:30 PM

Polartank13: ShiningWizard:

YOU TOO?!? Awesome!

If a fantasy McMahon backed TNA with Paul E at the controls were to ever exist I don't think they would be lacking for capital. But trying to cook the books for the current TNA? Career suicide!

I agree Vince had a great shot with the WCW takeover and blew it but with Heyman running creative I would give it a way better than average chance of working out

Yup...passed down in Virginia back in 2000. There's got to be an accountant pony somewhere...I would absolutely trust Heyman doing the booking...I just don't trust an even partially invested Vince.

Funny story...D'Lo Brown is one of our part-time trainers...and he was at one of our big shows. A lot of people are asking him the usual stuff, and you can see he's getting bored...I get up to him "So, Tax or Audit?" He smiles and says "Audit, all the way." And we had a thoroughly boring, to everyone else, conversation about accounting issues for a good couple of hours.


Would be cool to chat wrasslin and code with a pro, lulz

"YOU LOOKIN AT THE REALization NOW!"
 
2014-07-28 07:07:09 PM

ShiningWizard: "YOU LOOKIN AT THE REALization NOW!"


Pick-up lines for CPAs:

According to my ratio analysis of your cost curves and asset allocations, we should begin issuing consolidated financial statements as soon as possible.


/got nuthin
//I'll see myself out
 
2014-07-28 07:12:19 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: ShiningWizard: "YOU LOOKIN AT THE REALization NOW!"

Pick-up lines for CPAs:

According to my ratio analysis of your cost curves and asset allocations, we should begin issuing consolidated financial statements as soon as possible.


/got nuthin
//I'll see myself out



I've got nothing...that's just terrible

i149.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-28 07:12:28 PM
Ms. Nolan is otherwise engaged this evening at a baseball game, but it sounds like she'll be paying us a visit in the near future!


/woot!
 
2014-07-28 07:13:09 PM

Polartank13: that's just terrible


Oh, I agree.  I'm not a CPA, but I couldn't do much better myself.  Just ask jetskimoo.  XD
 
2014-07-28 07:14:44 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: ShiningWizard: "YOU LOOKIN AT THE REALization NOW!"

Pick-up lines for CPAs:

According to my ratio analysis of your cost curves and asset allocations, we should begin issuing consolidated financial statements as soon as possible.


So THAT'S how you landed Jetskimoo you silver tongued devil. And yes I'm still using the "landed Jet" joke!

*BA DUM TSS!*
 
2014-07-28 07:16:52 PM

Captain Steroid: I have existed since the morning of the world, and I shall exist until the last star falls from the night! Although I have taken the form of Captain Steroid, I am all men as I am no man. And as no man, I am therefore...

[i1182.photobucket.com image 595x262]

... the Global Legendary Television Champion of the World!

This title has been held by some of the finest smarks the fWc has to offer... The_Y2P_Problem, FirstNationalBastard, silgryphon of the nPo, and even ShiningWizard, the Queen of the Ponies, just to name a few! BATMANATEE, my greatest rival, holds the record for the longest reign of any FARKer at 84 days. But I, Captain Steroid, have held this championship SEVEN times over the course of its existence, and I had planned to hold it longer still!

But, it seems fate has other ideas...

The TNA threads that this championship had called "home" will soon be no more. In the near future, there will be no need for a Global Legendary Television Champion of the World. Like TNA Wrestling, this championship, a championship I, myself, had created to foster a spirit of competition between fellow FARKers, is destined to die. -_-

Some have wondered what will be the ultimate fate of this title. Do I keep defending in non-existent TNA threads? Do I just toss it away in a dumpster? No, and no. This championship deserves better than that.

TONIGHT, for the first, only, and last time, I will put MY Global Legendary Television Championship of the World on the line in a WWE RAW thread... in a UNIFICATION MATCH with the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Gredunza Championship! Whoever wins the Gredunza tonight will also win the GLTV title, and become the UNDISPUTED Champion of the fWc!

And that person... is going to be ME. >:-)

*drops mic*


Great. On a night I am going to be sitting in a stadium with like 60,000 other screaming maniacs watching the Seattle Sounders FC vs the LA Galaxy. THANKS GOP!

/GO NPO - GET THAT 'DUNZA!!
//nPo4Lyfe
 
2014-07-28 07:17:17 PM

Captain Steroid: bluorangefyre: I said it in the RIPLOLTNA thread and I'll say it here:  please re-consider merging the GLTV title with the gredunza.  The NASFARK community would love to have a belt, and rather than let this belt go off into the sunset, we could keep it alive over there.

So please, reconsider letting it go away.

The die has been cast. Sorry. -_-


img1.wikia.nocookie.net

"Whassa mattah?  Hank Hillbilly don't got enough imagination to come up with his own fake belt?  Too many left turns mess up your brain or you just learn how to park from Dale Earnhardt?"
 
2014-07-28 07:18:26 PM
"TNA is getting cancelled Brain!"

"So in the future, they won't be promoted, no one will know who they are, the wrestlers will be unknown, and no one will show up to their shows..... How is that any different from right now?"

"WILL YOU STOP?"

"No I'm serious Monsoon... Who is their ladies champion right now? (silence) Who are their tag team champions? (silence) Hell, who is their world champion right now? (silence) AND WE DO THIS FOR A LIVING! I rest my case Monsoon."

(Seriously I don't know the answer to any of those questions!)
 
2014-07-28 07:19:20 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: Ms. Nolan is otherwise engaged this evening at a baseball game, but it sounds like she'll be paying us a visit in the near future!

/woot!


You manage to get fark a shout out on Fox Sports and Drew may just TF you for lyfe!

Or maybe...

i1263.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-28 07:19:43 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: ManateeGag: nekom: Why isn't this in the politics tab?

personally, it would be funny to see Harry Reid hit Mitch McConnell with a steel chair.

BAH GAWD, RUBIO IS HERE!  AND HE'S SPRAYING DOWN THE AUTHORITY WITH POLAND SPRING WATER!


BAH GAWD OBAMA HAS JOINED THE GOP! DAMN YOU OBAMA! DAMN YOUR SOUL!
 
2014-07-28 07:20:19 PM

ShiningWizard: Grand_Moff_Joseph: Ms. Nolan is otherwise engaged this evening at a baseball game, but it sounds like she'll be paying us a visit in the near future!

/woot!

You manage to get fark a shout out on Fox Sports and Drew may just TF you for lyfe!

Or maybe...

[i1263.photobucket.com image 844x355]


"Don't hold your breath"

"After the shout-outs we've been getting if we haven't gotten it yet, we ain't getting it... IT'S NOT FAIR TO FLEEEEIHHFHHHRR!!"
 
2014-07-28 07:21:23 PM
Hiya guys and gals

GMJ, campion, MLB...

You have my permission to post that picture. I can never get it to work on mobile.

looking forward to another craptastic episode
 
2014-07-28 07:22:24 PM

Bobby_and_The_Gorilla: ShiningWizard: Grand_Moff_Joseph: Ms. Nolan is otherwise engaged this evening at a baseball game, but it sounds like she'll be paying us a visit in the near future!

/woot!

You manage to get fark a shout out on Fox Sports and Drew may just TF you for lyfe!

Or maybe...

[i1263.photobucket.com image 844x355]

"Don't hold your breath"

"After the shout-outs we've been getting if we haven't gotten it yet, we ain't getting it... IT'S NOT FAIR TO FLEEEEIHHFHHHRR!!"


If these stupid bastards would let me win the Gredunza, I've got a million dollar idea to get us our tab.

Y2P, unified champion, sounds great, sounds a whole let better than you ham and eggers since I was a LEGITIMATE FWC Unified Champion..  But Drew, unified champion... that sounds good enough to put on the first topic of a new FWC tab, doesn't it?
 
2014-07-28 07:22:29 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: ShiningWizard: YOU TOO?!? Awesome!

Two CPAs in here?

Sweet!  Now we know who to ask to handle the books for the FWC's nascent global enterprise.  First t-shirts, then hats, capes, lingerie, you name it!  :D


/and we'll need someone to handle the real books too
//you know, those books, where we pay for the blackjack and hookers


"NO CAPES!!"
 
2014-07-28 07:22:31 PM
When will TNA guys start showing up on WWE TV? Of course, does the WWE even care?
 
2014-07-28 07:25:15 PM
Hey all. I'm in kind of a pickle right now. As you may know, two years ago this November I lost my cat Possum to cancer. Now, my family and I are struggling with our other cat, Katie, who is 18 and currently suffering through renal failure.

When we got back from Florida last Wednesday, we noticed that she seems weaker and thinner. She hasn't been eating, and her back legs are really wobbly. We have a vet appointment for tomorrow to see about giving her subcutaneous fluid injections. However, the way she's moving around, I'm wondering if she's even going to make it through the night.

I was looking forward to celebrating the second anniversary of the Nexus tonight, but life seems to have other plans. Enjoy tonight.
 
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