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(Foodbeast)   Hilariously accurate food slogans. Really, are Lay's potato chips anything but flavored air?   (foodbeast.com ) divider line
    More: Silly  
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3452 clicks; posted to Business » on 28 Jul 2014 at 10:53 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



38 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-07-28 08:11:36 AM  
LOLed at the SunChips but most of them were pretty good.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-07-28 08:55:49 AM  
Trader Joe's
Wine not available in Massachusetts stores
 
2014-07-28 10:10:06 AM  
I liked the Coors one.
 
2014-07-28 11:00:43 AM  
Dudley Moore did more than 20 years ago
 
2014-07-28 11:11:44 AM  
I LOL at Fruit Stripe.
 
2014-07-28 11:19:47 AM  

majestic: I LOL at Fruit Stripe.


And the Leinenkugel Berry Weiss one. That was a bit of a surprise, since I don't think it's distributed through the entire US.
 
2014-07-28 11:25:13 AM  
Some are funny. Some are wtf. Not sure I get the Trader Joe's one...Trader Joe's and Whole Foods are pretty different. Liked the Gatorade one.
 
2014-07-28 11:39:24 AM  

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Some are funny. Some are wtf. Not sure I get the Trader Joe's one...Trader Joe's and Whole Foods are pretty different. Liked the Gatorade one.


Don't tell Whole Foods fans that. Many tend to be extremely smug while paying 50%-75% more to add hemp extract to their bread, cereal, and milk.
 
2014-07-28 11:52:31 AM  

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Liked the Gatorade one.


You might have a drinking problem if you buy Pedialite as a precursor (or post procedure) to getting lit.
 
2014-07-28 11:57:27 AM  
I like TJ's and not because it's cheap.  Are people still under the impression that TJ's and WF's are both "hippy" stores?  I'm pretty sure they both went mainstream years ago and are totally different places.

/I don't shop at WF's due to the CEO's political beliefs.  Thankfully there are better "upscale" markets near me anyway.
 
2014-07-28 11:57:57 AM  

clkeagle: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Some are funny. Some are wtf. Not sure I get the Trader Joe's one...Trader Joe's and Whole Foods are pretty different. Liked the Gatorade one.

Don't tell Whole Foods fans that. Many tend to be extremely smug while paying 50%-75% more to add hemp extract to their bread, cereal, and milk.


Whole Foods has  a rabid, mouth breathing conservative for CEO.

Fun fact: Whole Foods only exists because of people helping the owners back on their feet after their store was destroyed by a flood and even though Whole Foods was being fiscally responsible by not having flood insurance, back when the CEO was owner.
 
2014-07-28 12:04:15 PM  
That seemingly bountiful bag of chips? 50 percent air, guaranteed.

Nitrogen expels the oxygen from the bag increasing stability to assure the chips do not become stale and the oil does not become rancid as well as keeping more chips intact during shipping. Sorry, but this complaint irks me since we are all fully aware of this for chips and buy them anyway; this is not any amazing observation about being bilked by corporations.
 
2014-07-28 12:26:15 PM  
I was working in the grocery business when I cant believe its not butter came out.
i used to call it "I cant believe it costs as much as butter" myself
 
2014-07-28 12:31:25 PM  
Isn't that "tiny edible plates" line from some comedians routine? I want to say Mitch Hedberg, but that doesn't sound right.
 
2014-07-28 01:23:19 PM  

ZAZ: Trader Joe's
Wine not available in Massachusetts stores


The TJs in Brookline and Cambridge have decent booze sections.
 
2014-07-28 01:23:26 PM  

The Homer Tax: Isn't that "tiny edible plates" line from some comedians routine? I want to say Mitch Hedberg, but that doesn't sound right.


It was Mitch Hedberg.

Try it with turkey and cheese. Try it with peanut butter. Hey man, I just wanted some crackers. I didn't buy them because they're tiny edible plates.
 
2014-07-28 01:27:13 PM  

ZAZ: Trader Joe's
Wine not available in Massachusetts stores


Or in most supermarkets. Chains are apparently allowed to sell booze in 3 of their stores statewide. Now that I live in Massachusetts, that's quite inconvenient (although I'm not a big drinker, I'm also not a teetotaler). I'm from Illinois, where you can buy all liquor in the supermarket! WTF Massachusetts?
 
2014-07-28 02:43:08 PM  

Vangor: That seemingly bountiful bag of chips? 50 percent air, guaranteed.

Nitrogen expels the oxygen from the bag increasing stability to assure the chips do not become stale and the oil does not become rancid as well as keeping more chips intact during shipping. Sorry, but this complaint irks me since we are all fully aware of this for chips and buy them anyway; this is not any amazing observation about being bilked by corporations.


It's called the "snackmosphere" Established by Rich Hall on NNTN in the early 80's....man I'm dating myself now...not like anyone else would.
 
2014-07-28 02:47:50 PM  
"Barqs Bites."

They changed it rather quickly to "Barqs has bite.", but it was much more accurate in its initial phrasing.
 
2014-07-28 03:08:41 PM  

Paris1127: ZAZ: Trader Joe's
Wine not available in Massachusetts stores

Or in most supermarkets. Chains are apparently allowed to sell booze in 3 of their stores statewide. Now that I live in Massachusetts, that's quite inconvenient (although I'm not a big drinker, I'm also not a teetotaler). I'm from Illinois, where you can buy all liquor in the supermarket! WTF Massachusetts?


Okay... that's a weird farking law. But that's looking at it through my Iowa-colored glasses, where I can buy hard liquor, wine, or beer at Target as soon as they open Sunday morning.
 
2014-07-28 03:56:13 PM  

Paris1127: ZAZ: Trader Joe's
Wine not available in Massachusetts stores

Or in most supermarkets. Chains are apparently allowed to sell booze in 3 of their stores statewide. Now that I live in Massachusetts, that's quite inconvenient (although I'm not a big drinker, I'm also not a teetotaler). I'm from Illinois, where you can buy all liquor in the supermarket! WTF Massachusetts?


It's pretty simple, actually.  The lobbyists for the liquor store association give bigger bribes than the lobbyists for the supermarkets.  That's pretty much how all laws in America now work.
 
2014-07-28 04:28:11 PM  

clkeagle: Paris1127: ZAZ: Trader Joe's
Wine not available in Massachusetts stores

Or in most supermarkets. Chains are apparently allowed to sell booze in 3 of their stores statewide. Now that I live in Massachusetts, that's quite inconvenient (although I'm not a big drinker, I'm also not a teetotaler). I'm from Illinois, where you can buy all liquor in the supermarket! WTF Massachusetts?

Okay... that's a weird farking law. But that's looking at it through my Iowa-colored glasses, where I can buy hard liquor, wine, or beer at Target as soon as they open Sunday morning.


Not true for all Midwest states, though: my cousins, who just moved to Chicago from Minnesota, were somewhat baffled by Illinois's supermarket booze. As for Massachusetts, I am not a lawyer and cannot make heads, tails, a hat, a brooch, or a pterodactyl out of  their Byzantine liquor laws... They're apparently raising it gradually: in 2012 it was raised to 5, in 2016 it'll be raised to 7, and in 2020 the limit will be raised to its maximum: 9.

/liquor store industry convinced the voters in 2006 that wine in grocery stores=bad
//because youth would have easier access to wine and wine is as bad as vodak, apparently
 
2014-07-28 04:38:30 PM  
Hey, that's not fair! There's also salt and starch.
 
2014-07-28 04:42:17 PM  
I only click on Foodbeast articles so I can look at Charisma Madarang's picture.  Always pleasing.
 
2014-07-28 04:48:03 PM  
The ads for Lay's potato chips featured Bert Lahr daring viewers, "Betcha can't eat just one"...
if Lay's is literally inflating their chips, you'd have to eat more than one to taste anything.  (You'd
probably have to consume the whole bag.)
 
2014-07-28 05:34:20 PM  

clkeagle: majestic: I LOL at Fruit Stripe.

And the Leinenkugel Berry Weiss one. That was a bit of a surprise, since I don't think it's distributed through the entire US.


Nuts.

I was keen to try it.
 
2014-07-28 07:31:00 PM  
Cheron:  Dudley Moore did more than 20 years ago.

Yup.  Came to make the 'Crazy People' reference.

'Volvos.  They're boxy, but they're good.'
'Metamucil.  It helps you go to the toilet'.
'Jaguar.  It gets you laid.'
'Sony.  Because Caucasians are just too damn tall.'

And, when the ad execs are in the asylum, trying to recruit:

Execs: "Who wants to be in Advertising?"  (all hands go up)
Dudley (looking disdainfully at the Execs): "Who wants to be a Fire Truck?"  (all hands go up)
 
2014-07-28 07:35:58 PM  
Polartank13: It's called the "snackmosphere" Established by Rich Hall on NNTN in the early 80's....man I'm dating myself now...not like anyone else would.

God, I miss NNTN.  As for you being old, sonny, when I was born, the US had 48 states and the only thing in orbit was the Moon.

/Also miss 'No Soap Radio' and 'Real People'.  But, on the plus side, it's not *too* long till the next season on Haven, and we have Jon Stewart, Jon Oliver, and Stephen Colbert.
 
2014-07-28 08:03:00 PM  

Agent Smiths Laugh: clkeagle: majestic: I LOL at Fruit Stripe.
And the Leinenkugel Berry Weiss one. That was a bit of a surprise, since I don't think it's distributed through the entire US.
Nuts.
I was keen to try it.


Well, it's pretty good if you can find it.
 
2014-07-28 08:14:24 PM  

Nicholas D. Wolfwood: Cheron:  Dudley Moore did more than 20 years ago.

Yup.  Came to make the 'Crazy People' reference.

'Volvos.  They're boxy, but they're good.'
'Metamucil.  It helps you go to the toilet'.
'Jaguar.  It gets you laid.'
'Sony.  Because Caucasians are just too damn tall.'

And, when the ad execs are in the asylum, trying to recruit:

Execs: "Who wants to be in Advertising?"  (all hands go up)
Dudley (looking disdainfully at the Execs): "Who wants to be a Fire Truck?"  (all hands go up)


"How did the word 'f*ck' get in the New York F*cking Times?"
 
2014-07-28 10:51:30 PM  
That seemingly bountiful bag of chips? 50 percent air, guaranteed.

Pressurizing the bag cushions the chips and keeps them from breaking as much, this is common knowledge. Complaining about it as if it's some deceptive selling tactic makes you look like a farking moron.
 
2014-07-29 08:19:49 AM  

Paris1127: ZAZ: Trader Joe's
Wine not available in Massachusetts stores

Or in most supermarkets. Chains are apparently allowed to sell booze in 3 of their stores statewide. Now that I live in Massachusetts, that's quite inconvenient (although I'm not a big drinker, I'm also not a teetotaler). I'm from Illinois, where you can buy all liquor in the supermarket! WTF Massachusetts?


Illnois is county by county. In some counties, you have to go to the liquor store to buy farking beer.
 
2014-07-29 08:24:54 AM  

Shakin_Haitian: Paris1127: ZAZ: Trader Joe's
Wine not available in Massachusetts stores

Or in most supermarkets. Chains are apparently allowed to sell booze in 3 of their stores statewide. Now that I live in Massachusetts, that's quite inconvenient (although I'm not a big drinker, I'm also not a teetotaler). I'm from Illinois, where you can buy all liquor in the supermarket! WTF Massachusetts?

Illnois is county by county. In some counties, you have to go to the liquor store to buy farking beer.


I did not know that... Where? I've had no such trouble in Cook or Lake...
 
2014-07-29 09:02:18 AM  

Polartank13: Vangor: That seemingly bountiful bag of chips? 50 percent air, guaranteed.

Nitrogen expels the oxygen from the bag increasing stability to assure the chips do not become stale and the oil does not become rancid as well as keeping more chips intact during shipping. Sorry, but this complaint irks me since we are all fully aware of this for chips and buy them anyway; this is not any amazing observation about being bilked by corporations.

It's called the "snackmosphere" Established by Rich Hall on NNTN in the early 80's....man I'm dating myself now...not like anyone else would.


Sniglets!!
 
2014-07-29 09:16:30 AM  

Paris1127: Shakin_Haitian: Paris1127: ZAZ: Trader Joe's
Wine not available in Massachusetts stores

Or in most supermarkets. Chains are apparently allowed to sell booze in 3 of their stores statewide. Now that I live in Massachusetts, that's quite inconvenient (although I'm not a big drinker, I'm also not a teetotaler). I'm from Illinois, where you can buy all liquor in the supermarket! WTF Massachusetts?

Illnois is county by county. In some counties, you have to go to the liquor store to buy farking beer.

I did not know that... Where? I've had no such trouble in Cook or Lake...


Not sure.  We were visiting my wife's family and the county our hotel was in Arlington Heights I think.  We had to go to the beer store to get beer, but the gas station we stopped at before we arrived had liquor right in the aisle.  Maybe it was the city itself or something, but I distinctly remember going to a gas station and asking and they told me to go to the beer store a couple blocks down.

According to this site:

Illinois - Sale is not state controlled. On-premise sales from 6 A.M. to 4 A.M. All beverages can be sold in grocery stores. All sales laws are up to local municipalities. Sales on Sunday are not allowed until 11 A.M.
 
2014-07-29 09:30:56 AM  

Shakin_Haitian: Paris1127: Shakin_Haitian: Paris1127: ZAZ: Trader Joe's
Wine not available in Massachusetts stores

Or in most supermarkets. Chains are apparently allowed to sell booze in 3 of their stores statewide. Now that I live in Massachusetts, that's quite inconvenient (although I'm not a big drinker, I'm also not a teetotaler). I'm from Illinois, where you can buy all liquor in the supermarket! WTF Massachusetts?

Illnois is county by county. In some counties, you have to go to the liquor store to buy farking beer.

I did not know that... Where? I've had no such trouble in Cook or Lake...

Not sure.  We were visiting my wife's family and the county our hotel was in Arlington Heights I think.  We had to go to the beer store to get beer, but the gas station we stopped at before we arrived had liquor right in the aisle.  Maybe it was the city itself or something, but I distinctly remember going to a gas station and asking and they told me to go to the beer store a couple blocks down.

According to this site:

Illinois - Sale is not state controlled. On-premise sales from 6 A.M. to 4 A.M. All beverages can be sold in grocery stores. All sales laws are up to local municipalities. Sales on Sunday are not allowed until 11 A.M.


That's a local law, per the Trib (on phone, sorry)
http://articles.chicagotribune.com/20 13-08-13/news/ct-tl-arlington-he i ghts-board-meeting-0812-20130813_1_ser vers-education-convenience-store s-byob
 
2014-07-29 11:50:29 AM  
That chick's name is Charisma?  Is that weird to anybody else?
 
2014-07-29 11:56:12 AM  

lilbjorn: Paris1127: ZAZ: Trader Joe's
Wine not available in Massachusetts stores

Or in most supermarkets. Chains are apparently allowed to sell booze in 3 of their stores statewide. Now that I live in Massachusetts, that's quite inconvenient (although I'm not a big drinker, I'm also not a teetotaler). I'm from Illinois, where you can buy all liquor in the supermarket! WTF Massachusetts?

It's pretty simple, actually.  The lobbyists for the liquor store association give bigger bribes than the lobbyists for the supermarkets.  That's pretty much how all laws in America now work.


Exactly. That's how the health insurance industry got a law that everyone has to buy their product, they even got to write the law. But don't tell the libs that
 
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