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(Wimp)   How to slice up a watermelon into bite-size chunks. Yes, you've been doing it wrong   (wimp.com) divider line 37
    More: Spiffy  
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6529 clicks; posted to Video » on 28 Jul 2014 at 8:46 AM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-07-28 06:18:44 AM  
What I think about that is great melon cutting tip, rubbish wrong way round camera work. What is the matter with people who can't work out basic shapes any more. Back to kindergarten with you.
 
2014-07-28 08:26:30 AM  
Looks cool, but probably not as easy as it looks.
 
2014-07-28 08:53:48 AM  
Made me nervous when he did the side cuts towards him. One slip and his hand, arm or abdomen gets a nice slice instead
 
2014-07-28 08:56:01 AM  
Ok.. so saves a "little" time and wastes a LOT of watermelon...  Get a real knife.
 
2014-07-28 09:14:16 AM  
He should be putting the watermelon face-down so it doesn't move so much for those lateral slices. The guy's got a great idea but absolutely abysmal knife safety.
 
2014-07-28 09:20:30 AM  
Melon balls or nuthin'
 
2014-07-28 09:23:29 AM  
stream1.gifsoup.com
 
2014-07-28 09:28:47 AM  
Nah, ya just eat 'em.
 
2014-07-28 09:37:16 AM  

SordidEuphemism: He should be putting the watermelon face-down so it doesn't move so much for those lateral slices. The guy's got a great idea but absolutely abysmal knife safety.


This.

Also, I've been using the same technique when cutting avocados for as long as I remember.
 
2014-07-28 10:42:32 AM  
If you quarter the melon instead of halving it, you can get the same result with about the same number of cuts, without the risk of slashing your wrist open.
 
2014-07-28 10:46:51 AM  

Flab: SordidEuphemism: He should be putting the watermelon face-down so it doesn't move so much for those lateral slices. The guy's got a great idea but absolutely abysmal knife safety.

This.

Also, I've been using the same technique when cutting avocados for as long as I remember.


And mangoes, though for watermelons and avocados you can't reflex the skin.
www.wholefoodsmarket.com
 
2014-07-28 11:03:36 AM  
http://youtu.be/5oGKNrYrJho

I just eat it like this.
 
2014-07-28 11:08:32 AM  

EvilEgg: Looks cool, but probably not as easy as it looks.


Mrs. Smurf tried that last night.  A big dollop of superglue to put her finger back together and she let me cut it up the safe (i.e. right) way.
 
2014-07-28 11:43:40 AM  
Petey Greene disagrees.
 
2014-07-28 12:44:15 PM  

Rolo_Tomassi's_Arsepipe: Petey Greene disagrees.


upload.wikimedia.org

Approves, and sees what you did there.
 
2014-07-28 01:19:02 PM  
Oh good. Now my life is going to be 100% better.
 
2014-07-28 01:47:20 PM  

styckx: Made me nervous when he did the side cuts towards him. One slip and his hand, arm or abdomen gets a nice slice instead


yea, that whole thing was freaking me out because it goes against all knife training and it all shouldve been done slicing in the opposite direction, but then i heard the southern voices and realized, 'ohhhhhhhh, thats why hes an idiot.'
 
2014-07-28 02:32:00 PM  

SordidEuphemism: He should be putting the watermelon face-down so it doesn't move so much for those lateral slices. The guy's got a great idea but absolutely abysmal knife safety.


He doesn't need to make a big lateral slice... he just needs to stick the blade in and angle the knife through, since he doesn't care about the rind, anyway.
 
2014-07-28 02:33:37 PM  
...come to think of it, this could be done before cutting the watermelon in half. Stick the knife in, sweep a cut inside, repeat every few inches, then cut the watermelon in half and continue....
 
2014-07-28 02:53:57 PM  
 
2014-07-28 03:01:05 PM  

EvilEgg: Looks cool, but probably not as easy as it looks.


My knife doesn't do that much bending around, so I use a quarter watermelon instead of a half. Also I use a bowl instead of a bag.

I invented this technique when I was 9 and laughed at my mom for doing it the hard way. She immediately said "fine, you do it" and I was done in moments. This isn't to brag about my skills, but to say that I don't consider this a particularly impressive feat. Cutting things partway before doing final separations is nothing strange to cooks.
 
2014-07-28 03:06:43 PM  

SordidEuphemism: He should be putting the watermelon face-down so it doesn't move so much for those lateral slices.


Not sure this is true. With it face down you get annoying suction issues.  The surest way to accidentally cut yourself is when you have to start applying pressure to things that get stuck in position and then go slipping about because the amount of force needed to initiate motion is far beyond that to keep it in motion.

His cut looked quite controlled, and the rind is holding the blade just fine.

TheMega: Ok.. so saves a "little" time and wastes a LOT of watermelon


You sound poor. If fifteen minutes of your time isn't worth as much as the entire watermelon, you should be out looking for a better job instead of sitting about eating watermelons :P
 
2014-07-28 03:15:33 PM  
Smackledorfer:
You sound poor. If fifteen minutes of your time isn't worth as much as the entire watermelon, you should be out looking for a better job instead of sitting about eating watermelons :P

[that'sracist.gif]
 
Al!
2014-07-28 03:41:40 PM  
He was close, but he blew it at the end.  I always cut the first half similar to how he cuts it, but then the second half into wedges.
 
2014-07-28 04:27:56 PM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2014-07-28 05:34:23 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-07-28 06:06:40 PM  

Smackledorfer: You sound poor. If fifteen minutes of your time isn't worth as much as the entire watermelon, you should be out looking for a better job instead of sitting about eating watermelons :P


If it requires fifteen minutes of your time to cut up a watermelon then you probably just need a video reminding you to use a knife.
 
2014-07-28 06:19:58 PM  
he doesn't say what size those big plastic bags are. i bet they are 25+ cents a piece if you don't buy them in bulk. in my book buying a mellon on friday and telling family and friends to just keep eating it over the weekend makes more sense.
 
2014-07-28 06:25:07 PM  

styckx: Made me nervous when he did the side cuts towards him. One slip and his hand, arm or abdomen gets a nice slice instead


Old mnemonic:

If you don't cut away from you, you will cut into you.
 
2014-07-28 07:02:15 PM  

Dayglo Brown: [stream1.gifsoup.com image 320x240]


www.reactiongifs.com
 
2014-07-28 07:08:06 PM  

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: Smackledorfer: You sound poor. If fifteen minutes of your time isn't worth as much as the entire watermelon, you should be out looking for a better job instead of sitting about eating watermelons :P

If it requires fifteen minutes of your time to cut up a watermelon then you probably just need a video reminding you to use a knife.


He didn't waste the entire watermelon. Nice try though, I stand by my ratio :)
 
2014-07-28 07:13:20 PM  

Smackledorfer: Monkeyfark Ridiculous: Smackledorfer: You sound poor. If fifteen minutes of your time isn't worth as much as the entire watermelon, you should be out looking for a better job instead of sitting about eating watermelons :P

If it requires fifteen minutes of your time to cut up a watermelon then you probably just need a video reminding you to use a knife.

He didn't waste the entire watermelon. Nice try though, I stand by my ratio :)


Wait, what?
 
2014-07-28 07:34:57 PM  
 
2014-07-28 09:06:47 PM  
How about the time spent scrubbing the outside of the melon before you make all of those lateral cuts through the rind?  Every time you cut from the outer surface inward you increase the potential for contaminating the flesh with whatever the melon was sitting in out in the field.  Quicker? Maybe.  Smarter, not so much.
 
2014-07-28 09:39:44 PM  

Waldo Pepper: hey look a story showing up on fark a week after it hit my facebook feed. fark way to stay ahead of the game


You should've submitted it last week, then.
 
2014-07-28 11:40:04 PM  
That's ok... still not as good as the old guy showing you how to cook corn on the cob without shucking...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzYtMeIFH8o
 
2014-07-29 08:53:17 PM  

whatsupchuck: How about the time spent scrubbing the outside of the melon before you make all of those lateral cuts through the rind?  Every time you cut from the outer surface inward you increase the potential for contaminating the flesh with whatever the melon was sitting in out in the field.  Quicker? Maybe.  Smarter, not so much.


yeah.. you should always.  AWLAYS ALWAYS  really super thoroughly wash the outside of watermelons.  they are literally covered in shiat for fertilizer in the fields and barely washed so not washing the watermelon is what leads to most people getting the shiats after eating it.

but that holds even when you are cutting it the normal way leaving a little rind so that people eating it have something to hold on to.
 
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