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(Stuff.co.nz)   Bull semen collector says it's a tricky and dangerous job. "We know just by reading an animal, how far we can push things"   (stuff.co.nz) divider line 86
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3301 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jul 2014 at 10:53 AM (26 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



86 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-07-28 08:06:49 AM  
Wait, you can get paid for that? Dammit!
 
2014-07-28 09:19:42 AM  

Mugato: Wait, you can get paid for that? Dammit!


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-07-28 09:40:07 AM  
You mess with the bull, you get the horn.
 
2014-07-28 10:54:15 AM  
We know just by reading an animal, how far we can push things

Oral?

Anal?

Second Date?
 
2014-07-28 10:56:13 AM  
Do I have to buy dinner, dinner first?
 
2014-07-28 10:57:15 AM  
A semen collector is a jack with some aids, master of cum.
 
2014-07-28 10:57:44 AM  
"Oh great, its that primate pervert again. Oh well, at least he's handy."
 
2014-07-28 10:59:30 AM  
Pull, don't you mean?
 
2014-07-28 11:00:24 AM  
Bull semen collector says it's a tricky and dangerous job. "We know just by reading an animal, how far we can push pull things"

She's doing it wrong.
 
2014-07-28 11:01:47 AM  

gerbilpox: Bull semen collector says it's a tricky and dangerous job. "We know just by reading an animal, how far we can push pull things"

She's doing it wrong.


Maybe she tickles his prostate through his anus?
 
2014-07-28 11:01:50 AM  
And your mother is so proud!
 
2014-07-28 11:01:51 AM  

Schmerd1948: Pull, don't you mean?


Dammit, beat me by 54 seconds!


[shakestinyfist.jpg]
 
2014-07-28 11:04:37 AM  

Mugato: Wait, you can get paid for that? Dammit!


Worlds oldest profession now serving more species.
 
2014-07-28 11:06:40 AM  
The one time you can whip this one out

armedrobbery.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-07-28 11:07:23 AM  
Push it. Push it real good.
 
2014-07-28 11:08:50 AM  
 
2014-07-28 11:09:33 AM  
You would think by now they could make a robot to do that. They would just have to repurpose a realdoll. Or keep it as is and make videos of it. I'm sure there is an online market for that sort of thing.
 
2014-07-28 11:09:55 AM  

K3rmy: The one time you can whip this one out

[armedrobbery.files.wordpress.com image 624x379]


I just HAD to search for the video.

/My tiny fist is shaking far away from animal genitalia.
 
2014-07-28 11:10:46 AM  
I had to help my uncle, Jack, off a bull. No, wait.

I had to help mu uncle jack off a bull.
 
2014-07-28 11:11:03 AM  

Solty Dog: You would think by now they could make a robot to do that. They would just have to repurpose a realdoll. Or keep it as is and make videos of it. I'm sure there is an online market for that sort of thing.


Yep, I've seen it.  Imagine a barrel with a giant pocket p*ssy set up on some sawhorses.
 
2014-07-28 11:12:26 AM  
The only thing that comes from Texas is steers and......you know.
 
2014-07-28 11:15:54 AM  
Perhaps they should just agree on a safe word.  Something other than moo.
 
2014-07-28 11:16:19 AM  
Not as amusing an article as I expected.

Can you make a Pisco Sour without a Walrus Pizzle?
 
2014-07-28 11:16:51 AM  

Lord Farkwad: The only thing that comes from Texas is steers and......you know.


A piss poor educational system?
People too stupid for Oklahoma?
Sherriff Beuford T. Justice cosplay?
 
2014-07-28 11:17:27 AM  
Up early every morning feeding the cows and milking the bulls.
 
2014-07-28 11:17:58 AM  
Make that an Oosik
 
2014-07-28 11:19:03 AM  

cgraves67: Maybe she tickles his prostate through his anus?


Actually, yes they do.

"Man the control box to start stimulating ejaculation of the bull. It takes a bit of practice and a "special touch" to be able to get a bull to ejaculate for you, but you must remember to not turn the electrical control up too high, nor too low.  "

pad1.whstatic.com

pad3.whstatic.com
From Wikihow: How to Collect Semen from a Bull
 
2014-07-28 11:22:20 AM  
Bull semen collecting is an oddly specific hobby. I wonder how many species he has in the collection. I imagine sometimes he just sits back, sorting through them all, occasionally lifting up a jar and thinking, "Man, this takes me back".
 
2014-07-28 11:22:32 AM  
sp2.yimg.com
 
2014-07-28 11:25:41 AM  

xanadian: You mess with the bull, you get the horn blast of semen.

 
2014-07-28 11:31:03 AM  
I thought it was about pulling something.
 
2014-07-28 11:31:21 AM  
Manually   Electrojac .. and Lions

The NSFW links you've seen in a while
 
2014-07-28 11:31:24 AM  
giggity
 
2014-07-28 11:35:43 AM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

It's called a goddam reach-around.
 
2014-07-28 11:37:42 AM  
iactafool.com


BOTTOMS UP!
 
2014-07-28 11:41:34 AM  

jaytkay: cgraves67: Maybe she tickles his prostate through his anus?

Actually, yes they do.

"Man the control box to start stimulating ejaculation of the bull. It takes a bit of practice and a "special touch" to be able to get a bull to ejaculate for you, but you must remember to not turn the electrical control up too high, nor too low.  "

[pad1.whstatic.com image 670x503]

[pad3.whstatic.com image 670x503]
From Wikihow: How to Collect Semen from a Bull


That's awesome. I like the anime-style drawing that's thrown in toward the end.

pad3.whstatic.com
"You have made your ancestors proud, Michael-san, because you have caused the bull to ejaculate over 9,000 mL!"
 
2014-07-28 11:43:59 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-07-28 11:46:04 AM  
Maybe give it a few drinks first and a nice massage...

That's how they do it in Kobe.
 
2014-07-28 11:46:23 AM  
I have a friend who's dad did this back in the 80's....of course we were very childish about it, but it was actually quite the process and the bulls seemed to enjoy it (as I'm sure most any guy would)

/they were some high dollar, registered and pedigreed bulls that had their junk spunk harvested and sold for some ridiculously high dollar amount like $10,000 a vial.  It was crazy, the money the got for cow cum.
 
2014-07-28 11:53:16 AM  
I'm not saying I'd never do a job like that but I'd go in with more than jeans and steel-toe boots.

0.tqn.com
 
2014-07-28 11:58:10 AM  

fappomatic: I'm not saying I'd never do a job like that but I'd go in with more than jeans and steel-toe boots.

[0.tqn.com image 160x333]


With your screen name, I believe you.
 
2014-07-28 12:00:32 PM  
Moooooooo means no!
 
2014-07-28 12:01:51 PM  

Solty Dog: You would think by now they could make a robot to do that. They would just have to repurpose a realdoll. Or keep it as is and make videos of it. I'm sure there is an online market for that sort of thing.


Instead of real dolls, the rancher I'm friends with uses a young steer to fool the bull into mounting it and collects the jizzm. Bulls apparently don't have much staying power, and it all happens pretty fast.
 
2014-07-28 12:20:20 PM  
Greek society affiliation: Masta Beta Kau
 
2014-07-28 12:24:16 PM  
Everything you need is available right here.     http://www.lane-mfg.com/

I met Mr. Lane many years ago... and his two hot daughters.   Had a tour of the place.   /CSB
 
2014-07-28 12:32:18 PM  
"So, Miss Jones, I understand that you'd like to join us as our newest bull semen collector. Perhaps you could demonstrate your technique on this facsimile. It's a human penis, of course, but we must make sure you can handle this smaller task before you can demonstrate on one of our prized bulls."
 
2014-07-28 12:35:19 PM  
Everything you need is available right here.      http://www.lane-mfg.com/


Holy fark is that a mallet in the photo with the "probe?"
 
2014-07-28 12:37:01 PM  
I have friends who at one time raised turkeys for the eggs and they used artificial insemination in the process.

Let me tell you that the semen collection process was simply disgusting.  Know as "milking the toms" the collector vacuums up the semen from the underside of the turkey by sucking on a tube connected to a jar with a tiny vacuum nozzle on it.  Obviously, you don't want to get the jar too full and create a cross-connection to the tube going to your mouth.  Or maybe you do, I don't know.
 
2014-07-28 12:37:54 PM  

FirstDennis: Everything you need is available right here.      http://www.lane-mfg.com/


Holy fark is that a mallet in the photo with the "probe?"


Hey, you've got to get it in somehow.  Haven't you heard the expression "tighter than a bulls ass in fly season?"
 
2014-07-28 12:38:36 PM  

firemanbuck: I have friends who at one time raised turkeys for the eggs and they used artificial insemination in the process.

Let me tell you that the semen collection process was simply disgusting.  Know as "milking the toms" the collector vacuums up the semen from the underside of the turkey by sucking on a tube connected to a jar with a tiny vacuum nozzle on it.  Obviously, you don't want to get the jar too full and create a cross-connection to the tube going to your mouth.  Or maybe you do, I don't know.


You should write porn.
 
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