Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(New Scientist) Video U.S. Marines flee non-lethal pain ray weapon, provide new "NOPE" gifs   (newscientist.com) divider line 138
    More: Video  
•       •       •

11755 clicks; posted to Video » on 27 Jul 2014 at 5:21 PM (44 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



138 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-07-27 02:33:57 PM  
neat
 
2014-07-27 02:44:24 PM  
Well, this will certainly make embassy security a lot more interesting, well that and shareholder meetings...
 
2014-07-27 02:45:04 PM  
Could you build a dish/reflector thingy and shoot it back at the dude with the PA?
 
2014-07-27 02:54:34 PM  

Relatively Obscure: Could you build a dish/reflector thingy and shoot it back at the dude with the PA?


Could you desensitize yourself with pain killers and condition yourself to bear the reduced pain, knowing that it will not injure you?  It seems to me that there are fanatics out there who would endure the burning sensation knowing they won't be harmed.  This would be great against WTO/OWS types, though.
 
2014-07-27 03:07:48 PM  
Old tech. 
Uses microwave radiation. 
Should be called a slow death cancer machine.
 
2014-07-27 03:08:28 PM  
I wonder how many of them would flee if I held a gom jabbar to their neck.
 
2014-07-27 03:11:55 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Relatively Obscure: Could you build a dish/reflector thingy and shoot it back at the dude with the PA?

Could you desensitize yourself with pain killers and condition yourself to bear the reduced pain, knowing that it will not injure you?  It seems to me that there are fanatics out there who would endure the burning sensation knowing they won't be harmed.  This would be great against WTO/OWS types, though.


Might be fun to set that up for the next time the teaparty types want to take over DC.
 
2014-07-27 03:13:03 PM  

sithon: Benevolent Misanthrope: Relatively Obscure: Could you build a dish/reflector thingy and shoot it back at the dude with the PA?

Could you desensitize yourself with pain killers and condition yourself to bear the reduced pain, knowing that it will not injure you?  It seems to me that there are fanatics out there who would endure the burning sensation knowing they won't be harmed.  This would be great against WTO/OWS types, though.

Might be fun to set that up for the next time the teaparty types want to take over DC.


Seems a bit of overkill for a half dozen octogenarians on Hoverounds.
 
2014-07-27 03:25:16 PM  

Gecko Gingrich: sithon: Benevolent Misanthrope: Relatively Obscure: Could you build a dish/reflector thingy and shoot it back at the dude with the PA?

Could you desensitize yourself with pain killers and condition yourself to bear the reduced pain, knowing that it will not injure you?  It seems to me that there are fanatics out there who would endure the burning sensation knowing they won't be harmed.  This would be great against WTO/OWS types, though.

Might be fun to set that up for the next time the teaparty types want to take over DC.

Seems a bit of overkill for a half dozen octogenarians on Hoverounds.


OK how about we set it up above the floor of the next GOP convention. Herd them around the room. ...?? Ooh . Charge $20 for 10 minutes at the controls. You'll make a mint.
 
2014-07-27 03:26:08 PM  

sithon: Gecko Gingrich: sithon: Benevolent Misanthrope: Relatively Obscure: Could you build a dish/reflector thingy and shoot it back at the dude with the PA?

Could you desensitize yourself with pain killers and condition yourself to bear the reduced pain, knowing that it will not injure you?  It seems to me that there are fanatics out there who would endure the burning sensation knowing they won't be harmed.  This would be great against WTO/OWS types, though.

Might be fun to set that up for the next time the teaparty types want to take over DC.

Seems a bit of overkill for a half dozen octogenarians on Hoverounds.

OK how about we set it up above the floor of the next GOP convention. Herd them around the room. ...?? Ooh . Charge $20 for 10 minutes at the controls. You'll make a mint.


Dibs!
 
2014-07-27 03:29:27 PM  

Gecko Gingrich: sithon: Benevolent Misanthrope: Relatively Obscure: Could you build a dish/reflector thingy and shoot it back at the dude with the PA?

Could you desensitize yourself with pain killers and condition yourself to bear the reduced pain, knowing that it will not injure you?  It seems to me that there are fanatics out there who would endure the burning sensation knowing they won't be harmed.  This would be great against WTO/OWS types, though.

Might be fun to set that up for the next time the teaparty types want to take over DC.

Seems a bit of overkill for a half dozen octogenarians on Hoverounds.


I can't find that letter - you know, the one about the guys on hoverounds thwarted by DC steps?  Anyone have a copy around?
 
2014-07-27 04:31:31 PM  
Having spent last weekend at the State Fair, I believe this system could be defeated with a simple full-body corndog suit.
 
2014-07-27 04:38:05 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Relatively Obscure: Could you build a dish/reflector thingy and shoot it back at the dude with the PA?

Could you desensitize yourself with pain killers and condition yourself to bear the reduced pain, knowing that it will not injure you?  It seems to me that there are fanatics out there who would endure the burning sensation knowing they won't be harmed.  This would be great against WTO/OWS types, though.


This was what I was wondering.  Sure it's effective against fake protesters who have no real drive, sure it's effective against a couple of people who are standing there just for the experience, but what about someone who's actually determined?
 
2014-07-27 04:54:24 PM  

rooftop235: Old tech. 
Uses microwave radiation. 
Should be called a slow death cancer machine.


^ This.  It's the same as putting people into a microwave oven.  In other words, perfectly safe!  Non-lethal!  Will cook a rabbit at 100 yards!
 
2014-07-27 04:55:47 PM  

timujin: but what about someone who's actually determined?


The closer you get, the faster you cook.

I wonder what a tin foil suit would do.
 
2014-07-27 05:20:51 PM  
Gom Jabar?
 
2014-07-27 05:22:10 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: timujin: but what about someone who's actually determined?

The closer you get, the faster you cook.

I wonder what a tin foil suit would do.


You'd probably pop. In a jiffy.
 
2014-07-27 05:24:01 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: timujin: but what about someone who's actually determined?

The closer you get, the faster you cook.

I wonder what a tin foil suit would do.


Dunno - what does foil do in a microwave?  You'd probably arc really well, and possibly combust within the suit.
 
2014-07-27 05:26:22 PM  
Is it a peace loving death ray?
 
2014-07-27 05:28:59 PM  

Gecko Gingrich: I wonder how many of them would flee if I held a gom jabbar to their neck.


I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer.
 
2014-07-27 05:29:24 PM  
Now get to work on a tasp.
 
2014-07-27 05:30:43 PM  

rooftop235: Old tech. 
Uses microwave radiation. 
Should be called a slow death cancer machine.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-ionizing_radiation

No cancer for you.
 
2014-07-27 05:33:46 PM  

sithon: Gecko Gingrich: sithon: Benevolent Misanthrope: Relatively Obscure: Could you build a dish/reflector thingy and shoot it back at the dude with the PA?

Could you desensitize yourself with pain killers and condition yourself to bear the reduced pain, knowing that it will not injure you?  It seems to me that there are fanatics out there who would endure the burning sensation knowing they won't be harmed.  This would be great against WTO/OWS types, though.

Might be fun to set that up for the next time the teaparty types want to take over DC.

Seems a bit of overkill for a half dozen octogenarians on Hoverounds.

OK how about we set it up above the floor of the next GOP convention. Herd them around the room. ...?? Ooh . Charge $20 for 10 minutes at the controls. You'll make a mint.


Much better idea. Lock the entirety of Congress in a room with one of those things pointed at them and keep it going until they agree to stop farking over the country.
 
2014-07-27 05:33:49 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: rooftop235: Old tech. 
Uses microwave radiation. 
Should be called a slow death cancer machine.

^ This.  It's the same as putting people into a microwave oven.  In other words, perfectly safe!  Non-lethal!  Will cook a rabbit at 100 yards!


What about a deer? Nothing like hunting AND having lunch at the same time!
 
2014-07-27 05:35:40 PM  
Make a fortune installing those on abortion clinics pointing outward. Feel free to protest all to want.
 
2014-07-27 05:37:23 PM  

sithon: Gecko Gingrich: sithon: Benevolent Misanthrope: Relatively Obscure: Could you build a dish/reflector thingy and shoot it back at the dude with the PA?

Could you desensitize yourself with pain killers and condition yourself to bear the reduced pain, knowing that it will not injure you?  It seems to me that there are fanatics out there who would endure the burning sensation knowing they won't be harmed.  This would be great against WTO/OWS types, though.

Might be fun to set that up for the next time the teaparty types want to take over DC.

Seems a bit of overkill for a half dozen octogenarians on Hoverounds.

OK how about we set it up above the floor of the next GOP convention. Herd them around the room. ...?? Ooh . Charge $20 for 10 minutes at the controls. You'll make a mint.


Usually people who wish to cause harm to others over beliefs are called fanatics.

I can almost hear you lacing up your bomb vest.....
 
2014-07-27 05:39:01 PM  

hubiestubert: Well, this will certainly make embassy security a lot more interesting, well that and shareholder meetings...


Wait until they trickle down to LEAs under the 1033 program.
 
2014-07-27 05:40:35 PM  
It will make for an extremely effective heat-ray against the Jovians.
 
2014-07-27 05:42:30 PM  

handgimp: rooftop235: Old tech. 
Uses microwave radiation. 
Should be called a slow death cancer machine.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-ionizing_radiation

No cancer for you.


thanks for saving me the time to post that.
/microwaves do not cause cancer
 
2014-07-27 05:43:14 PM  

Giltric: sithon: Gecko Gingrich: sithon: Benevolent Misanthrope: Relatively Obscure: Could you build a dish/reflector thingy and shoot it back at the dude with the PA?

Could you desensitize yourself with pain killers and condition yourself to bear the reduced pain, knowing that it will not injure you?  It seems to me that there are fanatics out there who would endure the burning sensation knowing they won't be harmed.  This would be great against WTO/OWS types, though.

Might be fun to set that up for the next time the teaparty types want to take over DC.

Seems a bit of overkill for a half dozen octogenarians on Hoverounds.

OK how about we set it up above the floor of the next GOP convention. Herd them around the room. ...?? Ooh . Charge $20 for 10 minutes at the controls. You'll make a mint.

Usually people who wish to cause harm to others over beliefs are called fanatics.

I can almost hear you lacing up your bomb vest.....


No, no harm. Herding. They'll learn fast enough to avoid the area where it's pointing. Then they'll just look ridiculous.
 
2014-07-27 05:46:15 PM  
anyone got a link to the video? when I click the above link no video loads, just a blank page with a headline.
 
2014-07-27 05:46:23 PM  
I've cooked too many eggs. Hard boiling, frying, nuking.

I've only ever heard this thing is harmless, but it does scare me what I envision this thing doing to eyes.
 
2014-07-27 05:49:57 PM  
hmmmmmm. "We've built-in many safety features...."

Implying that they can take said safety features the f&ck out whenever they want. Where are your pain pills and steely resolve now, fundyboy?
 
2014-07-27 05:53:39 PM  

TheMega: What about a deer? Nothing like hunting AND having lunch at the same time!


How many times do I have to tell you?  DON'T COOK MEAT WITH A MICROWAVE. Even in the field.
 
2014-07-27 05:58:59 PM  

rooftop235: Old tech. 
Uses microwave radiation. 
Should be called a slow death cancer machine.


Yeah, it's an old concept. I think we've been hearing about it since the late 90's. Once thing I'm curious about...how would it affect pacemakers? Would the microwave ray fry them out? If so, this is a dicey non-leathal tactical device to use; especially in the US.
 
2014-07-27 05:59:18 PM  

Giltric: hubiestubert: Well, this will certainly make embassy security a lot more interesting, well that and shareholder meetings...

Wait until they trickle down to LEAs under the 1033 program.


What do you mean wait?  Chicago PD used one at the NATO Summit in 07  (pops, vid)
 
2014-07-27 05:59:47 PM  

timujin: Benevolent Misanthrope: Relatively Obscure: Could you build a dish/reflector thingy and shoot it back at the dude with the PA?

Could you desensitize yourself with pain killers and condition yourself to bear the reduced pain, knowing that it will not injure you?  It seems to me that there are fanatics out there who would endure the burning sensation knowing they won't be harmed.  This would be great against WTO/OWS types, though.

This was what I was wondering.  Sure it's effective against fake protesters who have no real drive, sure it's effective against a couple of people who are standing there just for the experience, but what about someone who's actually determined?


well, once you've identified who those people are (by their being the only ones left), then you shoot em.
 
2014-07-27 06:00:14 PM  

mr lawson: handgimp: rooftop235: Old tech. 
Uses microwave radiation. 
Should be called a slow death cancer machine.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-ionizing_radiation

No cancer for you.

thanks for saving me the time to post that.
/microwaves do not cause cancer


But they make you sterile if you stand too close to them, right?  And sitting too close to the TV does the same thing.

/things my grandmother told me that she was probably wrong about while she smoked cigarettes

But hey - at least the Marines are trying not to kill people now?  WTF?  We need a body count.  At least I completely trust them when they say it doesn't have any lasting effects.  Maybe they're right, but I'm not going to volunteer to have it used on me.
 
2014-07-27 06:05:04 PM  
1. Its an open-air microwave projector.

2. Layers of water or ice or wet material will delay its effects. A rainy day or copious use of water hoses will make it pretty useless..

2. There is NO WAY IN HELL that was originally developed as a non-lethal weapon.  I just think the army realized how things would look if they began cooking enemy soldiers alive on the battlefield, and decided to power it down to avoid that PR mess.
 
2014-07-27 06:05:58 PM  

gfid: But they make you sterile if you stand too close to them, right?


well...microwaves..MIGHT make you sterile. Heating up prostate glands is not an idea I would want to try.
/I don't think the tv gives off enough energy
 
2014-07-27 06:06:56 PM  

Dhusk: 2. There is NO WAY IN HELL that was originally developed as a non-lethal weapon.  I just think the army realized how things would look if they began cooking enemy soldiers alive on the battlefield, and decided to power it down to avoid that PR mess.


Via a secret switch...it goes to 11.
 
2014-07-27 06:15:18 PM  
Wait till people start mounting these on rooftops EVERYWHERE. Wait till every podunk police agency in the country has a half a dozen of these. Wait until they build a mexican border fence with one of these every 20 yards keyed to a motion sensor. And then watch as everyone learns how to easily lethalize it by cranking a dial or two.

Want to take a city, stick a brigade of these at near max range and sweep the city until it's empty. Mount them on c130s and blast them from above. Put them on battleships, hard for the soandso's to conentrate if they are being swept off of their ship with the pain ray(or powered up weaponized cook you where you stand ray).
 
2014-07-27 06:17:30 PM  

Dhusk: Layers of water or ice or wet material will delay its effects


You could also cover yourself in kernels of unpopped popcorn.
 
2014-07-27 06:18:35 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: Dhusk: Layers of water or ice or wet material will delay its effects

You could also cover yourself in kernels of unpopped popcorn.


Meat suit.
 
2014-07-27 06:23:12 PM  

neongoats: Wait till people start mounting these on rooftops EVERYWHERE. Wait till every podunk police agency in the country has a half a dozen of these. Wait until they build a mexican border fence with one of these every 20 yards keyed to a motion sensor. And then watch as everyone learns how to easily lethalize it by cranking a dial or two.

Want to take a city, stick a brigade of these at near max range and sweep the city until it's empty. Mount them on c130s and blast them from above. Put them on battleships, hard for the soandso's to conentrate if they are being swept off of their ship with the pain ray(or powered up weaponized cook you where you stand ray).


You libs are so fragile. It's a space heater, essentially.
 
2014-07-27 06:25:12 PM  

poisonedpawn78: anyone got a link to the video? when I click the above link no video loads, just a blank page with a headline.


Don't bother, it's just marines in civilian clothes standing around, then flinching and moving. Nowhere near .gif worthy
 
2014-07-27 06:29:31 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Relatively Obscure: Could you build a dish/reflector thingy and shoot it back at the dude with the PA?

Could you desensitize yourself with pain killers and condition yourself to bear the reduced pain, knowing that it will not injure you?  It seems to me that there are fanatics out there who would endure the burning sensation knowing they won't be harmed.  This would be great against WTO/OWS types, though.


What if they train with a gom jabbar against their neck?  Next thing you know, we're dealing with the  Kwisatz Haderach.
 
2014-07-27 06:32:42 PM  
If they're non-lethal then why can't we point these at the border of Mexico and set them up with motion sensors?
Seems like a cheap way to solve that whole illegal immigration thing.
 
2014-07-27 06:33:22 PM  
I want tasers pain rays on full charge!

img2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-07-27 06:34:05 PM  

mr lawson: Dhusk: 2. There is NO WAY IN HELL that was originally developed as a non-lethal weapon.  I just think the army realized how things would look if they began cooking enemy soldiers alive on the battlefield, and decided to power it down to avoid that PR mess.

Via a secret switch...it goes to 11.

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com


Early tests on volunteers showed promising results.
 
Displayed 50 of 138 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report