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(Telegraph)   How Google became our closest online confidante, which is why millions of people turn to it every day to answer personal questions such as "Does he love me?", "Why won't he have sex with me?" and "How is babby formed?"   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 21
    More: Interesting, Google, MMR vaccine, Tropical Medicine, Seychelles, Thomas Piketty, American Psychologist  
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860 clicks; posted to Geek » on 27 Jul 2014 at 1:49 PM (7 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



21 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-07-27 09:05:16 AM
Pretty sure Yahoo is the original source for all things "babby."
 
2014-07-27 09:44:07 AM
I'm guessing because it's easy to access, provides immediate response and that response probably isn't "haha WHAT?!"

Most of the more nefarious aspects are buried under its helpfulness.
 
2014-07-27 02:08:22 PM
I can't imagine a woman asking "Why won't he have sex with me?" unless she's a wildebeest. Even then, she can find SOMEONE who will do her.

I'm sorry. It's true. Men are rutting beasts. We will do it with a Walmart ice cream sandwich if we're given time, opportunity, and desire. All it takes is a porno featuring an ice cream sandwich and we're in the kitchen digging through the freezer.
 
2014-07-27 02:19:58 PM
It's impolite in casual company to ask where you can find good Ethiopian food, what that growth on your ass is, and for really specific fetish porn in rapid succession.
 
2014-07-27 02:32:24 PM

The Man With Crazy Super Animal Powers: I can't imagine a woman asking "Why won't he have sex with me?" unless she's a wildebeest. Even then, she can find SOMEONE who will do her.

I'm sorry. It's true. Men are rutting beasts. We will do it with a Walmart ice cream sandwich if we're given time, opportunity, and desire. All it takes is a porno featuring an ice cream sandwich and we're in the kitchen digging through the freezer.


Psttt.....because he's gay.
 
2014-07-27 03:02:51 PM
 
2014-07-27 03:15:06 PM
I was about to move out so my comp was packed away. I had to check on a bill or something so I asked one of my housemates (the owner) if I could use his. He said sure.

He hadn't even tried to clean out his Google history. The shiat this guy looked up... wtf. You're thinking horrible porn involving children and a martian with epilepsy but it wasn't that.

This guy wanted to get rid of himself real badly. He wanted to know how to do it without it hurting. He wanted to know why "it" was all going grey. Why life was colorless. About signs of bipolarism. About signs of bipolarism getting worse. About the side-effects of his bipolar drugs. How to off himself without hurting his family. What happens to the kids' feelings when Dad does the graveyard mambo. (They didn't live in the house with us and almost never came to see him.)

I felt like I should do something about it but, let's be honest, I didn't see anything I could do without making things worse. So I was just real honest and straightforward with him... moreso than usual I mean. Not a whole lot of difference. And I just moved out and didn't talk to him much after that.

Seemed like a nice guy but it all just made me more worried for my own safety. Crazy is crazy.
 
2014-07-27 03:16:07 PM

The Man With Crazy Super Animal Powers: I can't imagine a woman asking "Why won't he have sex with me?" unless she's a wildebeest. Even then, she can find SOMEONE who will do her.

I'm sorry. It's true. Men are rutting beasts. We will do it with a Walmart ice cream sandwich if we're given time, opportunity, and desire. All it takes is a porno featuring an ice cream sandwich and we're in the kitchen digging through the freezer.


You misunderstood the question - it isn't "why won't [some random man] have sex with me?", which would prompt your assertion that men will rut whatever will let them as a solution. Instead, it is "why won't [this specific man] have sex with me", which may certainly prompt any number of reasons, not the least of which is the man's attraction to the woman. A major actor or sports star probably isn't going to go in for Ham Beast's ugly sister.
 
2014-07-27 03:55:42 PM
Google may know about all things I search for, but using incognito/private browser mode means you won't know. Unless I've stupidly bookmarked something really good, then it may show up in the browser URL autocomplete section.
 
2014-07-27 04:00:34 PM
Is there a Firefox add on that will just Google random stuff 24/7 so your actual searches will be lost in the clutter?
 
2014-07-27 04:05:57 PM

The Man With Crazy Super Animal Powers: I can't imagine a woman asking "Why won't he have sex with me?" unless she's a wildebeest. Even then, she can find SOMEONE who will do her.

I'm sorry. It's true. Men are rutting beasts. We will do it with a Walmart ice cream sandwich if we're given time, opportunity, and desire. All it takes is a porno featuring an ice cream sandwich and we're in the kitchen digging through the freezer.


Some of us have standards, dude.  I'm not touching a Walmart ice cream sandwich without at least 3 condoms,

Fark like a Barsoomian: I was about to move out so my comp was packed away. I had to check on a bill or something so I asked one of my housemates (the owner) if I could use his. He said sure.

He hadn't even tried to clean out his Google history. The shiat this guy looked up... wtf. You're thinking horrible porn involving children and a martian with epilepsy but it wasn't that.

This guy wanted to get rid of himself real badly. He wanted to know how to do it without it hurting. He wanted to know why "it" was all going grey. Why life was colorless. About signs of bipolarism. About signs of bipolarism getting worse. About the side-effects of his bipolar drugs. How to off himself without hurting his family. What happens to the kids' feelings when Dad does the graveyard mambo. (They didn't live in the house with us and almost never came to see him.)

I felt like I should do something about it but, let's be honest, I didn't see anything I could do without making things worse. So I was just real honest and straightforward with him... moreso than usual I mean. Not a whole lot of difference. And I just moved out and didn't talk to him much after that.

Seemed like a nice guy but it all just made me more worried for my own safety. Crazy is crazy.


damn, that's scary and weird, but as long as he just wanted to off himself without hurting others I don't know what I would do.  I usually browse in incognito mode so at least my history is not stored locally.  I'm sure Google knows what I search for and for that I can give up any hopes of getting a job with them.  I tried using Duckduckgo, but that's actually a pretty shiatty search engine.

Crazy may be crazy but suicidal != homicidal.
 
2014-07-27 04:10:36 PM
OK google, how girl get pragnant
 
2014-07-27 04:25:45 PM
As an admittedly stupid person, I've learned the hard way that people automatically expect you to have some level of knowledge.  If you don't have that level of knowledge for whatever reason (for example, bad upbringing or learning disability) then people will treat you with contempt for not knowing it.

If you don't know how babby is formed because you live in a sexually repressed community and your family censors that information from you, then when you move out into the real world at eighteen and want to know about how babby is formed, people will treat you like crap because you don't already know.  Instead of answering your earnest questions, they will ridicule and shame you for your supposedly inherent stupidity, and they'll assume that the only reason you don't know is because you have decided to be ignorant and out of touch.  (Not that I'm bitter over this experience or anything.)

People like getting answers from Google or other sites because there isn't judgment for asking these questions, or at least there's anonymous judgment that is not personally linked to you.  You can ask whatever idiotic question you want, and no one in your daily life will have to know how stupid you really are.  That way, you can live your life pretending to be a smart and capable person like everyone else and get the answers you need.  Win win.

TL;DR.  Google is our closest confidante because people suck.
 
2014-07-27 04:43:27 PM
Does the entire world assume that six-year-old asshats never access the internet?

Teh interweb stoopid makes a lot more sense when you assume a six-year-old wrote it.
 
2014-07-27 04:56:37 PM

Flint Ironstag: Is there a Firefox add on that will just Google random stuff 24/7 so your actual searches will be lost in the clutter?


Yes it's called family.
 
2014-07-27 04:58:26 PM
Obligatory.

http://youtu.be/YuOBzWF0Aws
 
2014-07-27 06:45:34 PM
If he won't have sex with you, I will. Probably. I mean, not if you belong in a freak show. Well, probably not.
 
2014-07-27 07:10:09 PM
Well, it's still better than Cosmopolitan magazine isn't it?
 
2014-07-27 09:21:40 PM

That Guy What Stole the Bacon: Pretty sure Yahoo is the original source for all things "babby."


Yup... it was a Yahoo Questions posting. P.S., if you ever want to see something stupider than YouTube comments or Yahoo News comments, go look at Yahoo Questions. Holy crap, there is some idiocy on that site.
 
2014-07-28 12:35:18 AM
Electric sockets are surprised why?
Baby formula made out of babies?
Google.com
Google.com website
 
2014-07-28 09:51:54 AM

Only the people too poor to pay $5 go to Google with their embarrassing questions.  Smart people get a Totalfark membership so they can get wise answers or at least two of my greenlights.


i690.photobucket.com

 
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