Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(AZ Family)   Thanks to all the botched executions in America recently, the concept of the firing squad has never been more popular   (azfamily.com) divider line 250
    More: Interesting  
•       •       •

3782 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jul 2014 at 11:40 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



250 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-07-26 08:35:40 PM  
Honestly, if we have to kill people, shooting them is pretty humane. Hit them right, and because of the perception gap, they will never know what hit them.
 
2014-07-26 08:39:01 PM  

Serious Black: Honestly, if we have to kill people, shooting them is pretty humane. Hit them right, and because of the perception gap, they will never know what hit them.


Why don't we just blow them apart with an industrial air cannon? Cheaper and far more effective.

/pay-per-view alone would cover the cost of an execution.
 
2014-07-26 08:41:32 PM  

queezyweezel: Serious Black: Honestly, if we have to kill people, shooting them is pretty humane. Hit them right, and because of the perception gap, they will never know what hit them.

Why don't we just blow them apart with an industrial air cannon? Cheaper and far more effective.

/pay-per-view alone would cover the cost of an execution.


Hey, you can shoot them with whatever you want if it will kill them in an instant.
 
2014-07-26 08:53:31 PM  

Serious Black: Honestly, if we have to kill people, shooting them is pretty humane. Hit them right, and because of the perception gap, they will never know what hit them.


That's the challenge- hitting them right.  Use a captive bolt pistol, like we do with cattle when they get to the slaughterhouse.  We've got killing down to a science, let's not get all squeamish now.
 
2014-07-26 08:55:04 PM  
Or we can stop with the delusion that the death penalty is anything more than revenge and accept that it doesn't deter others from committing crimes. But Americans love violence, so...
 
2014-07-26 08:56:43 PM  
I don't agree with the death penalty because our system is farked and we condemn innocent people all the time but if we're going to support the State murder of its citizens, why not the firing squad? Why all these complicated and obviously torturous methods?
 
2014-07-26 08:59:46 PM  

themindiswatching: Or we can stop with the delusion that the death penalty is anything more than revenge and accept that it doesn't deter others from committing crimes. But Americans love violence, so...


allamericanblogger.com

False Dichotomy. 5 yard penalty, no down.
 
2014-07-26 09:04:34 PM  
What about explosive decompression? That would only cost a few bucks per episode.
 
2014-07-26 09:06:27 PM  
Strap them down, put a .45 to their head, pull the trigger, televise.

Quick, painless death (psychiatric trauma notwithstanding), and anyone who supports the death penalty can get their rocks off watching it.  It seems to me that anything less would keep our national cognitive dissonance bubbling under the surface instead of just being honest about the whole goddamned thing.
 
2014-07-26 09:08:03 PM  
And let the masturbatory execution fantasies begin....
 
2014-07-26 09:17:54 PM  

Mugato: And let the masturbatory execution fantasies begin....


Sadly, there would be no shortage of volunteers for the firing squad.
 
2014-07-26 09:19:54 PM  

revrendjim: Mugato: And let the masturbatory execution fantasies begin....

Sadly, there would be no shortage of volunteers for the firing squad.


Hell, beats cancer and diabeetus related rot.
 
2014-07-26 09:23:13 PM  

Mugato: And let the masturbatory execution fantasies begin....


Make them masturbate to death?  Probably not quick or relatively painless.
 
2014-07-26 09:31:37 PM  
It took me a long time to come down against the death penalty, but it had absolutely nothing to do with whether or not the convicted was suffering. It was because we are incapable of making sure we're not executing the innocent.
 
2014-07-26 10:01:58 PM  

Lsherm: It took me a long time to come down against the death penalty, but it had absolutely nothing to do with whether or not the convicted was suffering. It was because we are incapable of making sure we're not executing the innocent.


This right here.  I don't have a moral problem with execution.  I have a problem trusting the justice system not to railroad innocent people, or use torture to garner false confessions.
 
2014-07-26 10:02:06 PM  
NSFW

(If you work in a monastery -- you can't even even see the naughty bits)
 
2014-07-26 10:25:57 PM  
1/4 stick of dynamite, taped under the chin ought to do it.
 
2014-07-26 10:28:06 PM  

Lsherm: It took me a long time to come down against the death penalty, but it had absolutely nothing to do with whether or not the convicted was suffering. It was because we are incapable of making sure we're not executing the innocent.


Because of John Oliver, I jumped from a lifelong reluctant supporter to a reluctant opponent about a month ago.
 
2014-07-26 10:39:22 PM  

Fark It: Lsherm: It took me a long time to come down against the death penalty, but it had absolutely nothing to do with whether or not the convicted was suffering. It was because we are incapable of making sure we're not executing the innocent.

This right here.  I don't have a moral problem with execution.  I have a problem trusting the justice system not to railroad innocent people, or use torture to garner false confessions.


That's where I am. There have been far too many death row inmates found to be the wrong guy. At least with life in prison you can still say oops, sorry.
 
2014-07-26 11:01:30 PM  

revrendjim: That's where I am. There have been far too many death row inmates found to be the wrong guy. At least with life in prison you can still say oops, sorry.


That's how I look at it. And pro-death penalty people don't have much in the way of a reply to that. I also don't think the state should be in the business of murdering its citizens. Now if it were me, I'd rather be put down than go away for life but that's just me, I'm delicate.
 
2014-07-26 11:46:08 PM  
fantasyfic.files.wordpress.com
Simple, cheap, effective, and if done right--instantaneous.
 
2014-07-26 11:47:15 PM  
Now that the drugs used to do a proper execution have been eliminated, they are having to come up with less than ideal means to perform a lethal injection.  That's called "the law of unintended consequences."  Taking away a means of execution is not going to stop executions.  They are just going to make them less humane.  Yet the anti-execution people are using the humane argument to eliminate the best drugs for the job.

And FYI, I switched to being against capital punishment a couple of years ago.  Mostly because of Texas and their insistence on killing people who they knew were probably innocent.
 
2014-07-26 11:47:32 PM  
Isn't the guillotine the most effective form of capital punishment?
 
2014-07-26 11:48:07 PM  

queezyweezel: Serious Black: Honestly, if we have to kill people, shooting them is pretty humane. Hit them right, and because of the perception gap, they will never know what hit them.

Why don't we just blow them apart with an industrial air cannon? Cheaper and far more effective.

/pay-per-view alone would cover the cost of an execution.


Pfft air cannon?  Just go with the what the pros use.
 
2014-07-26 11:48:49 PM  
If we only allow the execution of white males the risk of killing an innocent man drops to almost zero.
 
2014-07-26 11:49:10 PM  
Strap some remote controlled dynamite to their bodies, drop them off in whatever 3rd world hell hole we're currently scrapping with over oil rights, and kablowee. Best case scenario, we instantly and painlessly ended a horrible person's life, ensuring that they'll never be able to cause an innocent person harm. Worst case scenario, and innocent person died to ensure that some random 3rd world terrorist will never be able to cause another innocent person harm.
 
2014-07-26 11:49:52 PM  
I suggest we put them in a small cell, with an integrated 1m x 1m patch of skylight. Nutritional supplements, plain water, enough protein to keep them alive. And that's it. Perhaps a cot with a rubberized surface. Integrated toilet/sink/shower. No clothing, they don't really need it.

And a button. Push button, game over. Some instantaneous method is instantiated and they die.

Once you close the door, their fate is in their own hands. Nothing fairer than that.
 
2014-07-26 11:49:59 PM  
I think that the burden for executing someone should be beyond a shadow of a doubt and that means actual physical evidence and not eye witness testimony.

And when we kill them we use inert gas asphyxiation.  You don't need a special drug cocktail or multiple shooters for that one.
 
2014-07-26 11:50:33 PM  

Le Bomb Suprize: If we only allow the execution of white males the risk of killing an innocent man drops to almost zero.


Actually, one of the most certain cases of executing an innocent man was a white guy.
 
2014-07-26 11:51:05 PM  
I've never understood why they don't just administer a massive overdose of morphine.  That would get the job done without any suffering.

It would be better to just not do it.  It's cruel, inhumane and I don't want it done on my behalf by government.
 
2014-07-26 11:51:22 PM  

BravadoGT: [fantasyfic.files.wordpress.com image 500x375]
Simple, cheap, effective, and if done right--instantaneous.


But they kick and jerk!  They shiat and they jizz themselves!  You're right! Why aren't we doing more hangings?
 
2014-07-26 11:51:24 PM  
I always wondered why not just drop a big block of concrete on someone? That would be cheap, painless, and instantaneously effective. You could even do it in the grave and kill two (well, three) birds with one stone.

I'm not a huge death penalty proponent, but do like to see improvements to efficiency.
 
2014-07-26 11:51:27 PM  

unyon: Serious Black: Honestly, if we have to kill people, shooting them is pretty humane. Hit them right, and because of the perception gap, they will never know what hit them.

That's the challenge- hitting them right.  Use a captive bolt pistol, like we do with cattle when they get to the slaughterhouse.  We've got killing down to a science, let's not get all squeamish now.


img.fark.net

Willing to do consulting work.
 
2014-07-26 11:52:48 PM  
Nitrogen asphyxiation.  Simple, effective, cost-effective, and painless.
 
2014-07-26 11:52:50 PM  
I'm just curious. We know, with a very high level of confidence that something like heroin or opiates in general, in high enough doses is completely painless and lethal. Why not just fill these farkers up with poppy extracts such as "oxycotton" as the kids call it these days? It's still relatively cheap and we know it's going to work. People use the stuff for recreation, so it doesn't seem like there could be much room for argument over the torture aspect. Just keep pumping the shiat into the blood stream until the heart has stopped beating and there's no breathing or brain activity. I'm probably over looking something, but I don't see why it needs to be any more complicated than that.
 
2014-07-26 11:53:05 PM  
I'd like to see a Constitutional Amendment.

Section 1. Death penalty is set to really, really, really, really high standards, both in terms of the heinousness of crime and the burden of proof.

Section 2. However, if this standard is met and you are condemned to death, you get a 50-millimeter high-power rifle shot straight to the head, followed by a series shots to the body until you are nothing but of puddle of broken bone and meat goo.  And then you are fed to stray dogs.
 
2014-07-26 11:54:59 PM  
On phone, can't link, but how about British Raj-style?

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blowing_from_a_gun

Also, if the members of a firing squad can tell the difference between firing a live round and firing a blank, mount all guns in a Ransom Rest/LeadSled type device and remotely fire them. Less chance of potential psychological trauma to the guards involved.
 
2014-07-26 11:55:55 PM  
They gave my dog a shot to calm him down, then another shot after we got to see him.  No whining, no whimpering.  He just licked my hand, closed his eyes, and was gone.  How farking hard can it be to do it?  Maybe my vet should be in charge.  Of course, condemned person hand licking is optional.
 
2014-07-26 11:55:59 PM  
• Prairie
• Lawn chair
• Duct tape
• Daisy Cutter
 
2014-07-26 11:56:58 PM  
I have never really understood what is so difficult here. Why not a high dose of pain killers, and drain enough blood to kill? Hell, there is enough ways people die peacefully by their own hand that you think they could figure this out! Just ask someone that works as a counselor to attempted suicides for fark sakes.
 
2014-07-26 11:58:36 PM  

Lsherm: It took me a long time to come down against the death penalty, but it had absolutely nothing to do with whether or not the convicted was suffering. It was because we are incapable of making sure we're not executing the innocent.


Same here.  Conceptually, I don't have any qualms about killing people who are a danger to society, but our justice system is to far too fallible to ensure that only the right people are killed.
 
2014-07-26 11:59:30 PM  
The thing about opiate overdose execution is that even if you're innocent, I can only assume that the last few minutes of your life would at least be something incredible, right? Feeling good. No pain. Relaxed. So again, anybody know any real reasons why, if we're going to have the death penalty at all, we wouldn't just go with something like that?

The only thing I can possibly think of is that some heavy opiate users would have a high tolerance level, but even then, I assume a) they could use enough to ensure anybody, no matter how tolerant, would still die and b) people are on death row for so long than any and all tolerance would have dissipated by the time they were put to death. So, that shouldn't even be a consideration, should it?
 
2014-07-27 12:00:39 AM  
news.bbc.co.uk

/approves
 
2014-07-27 12:01:34 AM  

doglover: themindiswatching: Or we can stop with the delusion that the death penalty is anything more than revenge and accept that it doesn't deter others from committing crimes. But Americans love violence, so...



False Dichotomy. 5 yard penalty, no down.


Logic fail. That was not "if not this, then that." It was just: This, and also this, both of which were factual statements. There was no dichotomy.

dichotomy[ dahy-kot-uh-mee ]
division into two mutually exclusive, opposed, or contradictory groups: a dichotomy between thought and action.
 
2014-07-27 12:01:44 AM  
Hell, I say give them "oxycotton" and vodka. Let nature take its course.
 
2014-07-27 12:02:04 AM  

aerojockey: I'd like to see a Constitutional Amendment.

Section 1. Death penalty is set to really, really, really, really high standards, both in terms of the heinousness of crime and the burden of proof.

Section 2. However, if this standard is met and you are condemned to death, you get a 50-millimeter high-power rifle shot straight to the head, followed by a series shots to the body until you are nothing but of puddle of broken bone and meat goo.  And then you are fed to stray dogs.


While effective, a 50mm seems excessive.

johnsweblounge.com
 
2014-07-27 12:02:09 AM  
Add me to the list that switched from kinda for it, to mostly against it, purely because I don't trust the state to get every conviction right.

As for the actual killing, the guillotine is probably still the quickest and most pain free way to do it, as distasteful as it is.
 
2014-07-27 12:03:46 AM  
Maybe accumulate a bunch of murderers, say thirty, put them on a big jet plane, and then blow it out of the sky. A sort of drone meets death mass. Only you know some jerk convict would start singing amazing grace even before they climbed out.
 
2014-07-27 12:05:26 AM  
The guillotine is probably  the most humane tool for that sort of work, if society is actually determined to impose that penalty.
 
2014-07-27 12:06:03 AM  
The Guillotine seems like a perfect system to use, low cost and extremely effective.
 
Displayed 50 of 250 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report