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(Queerty)   Pastor claims gay people are possessed by "fart demons" that can drive pigs to suicide   (queerty.com) divider line 191
    More: Dumbass  
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7719 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jul 2014 at 8:35 PM (8 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



191 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-07-26 07:18:28 PM
This is why heretics were burned.
 
2014-07-26 07:36:22 PM
My dog is a lesbian?
 
2014-07-26 07:41:37 PM
I gotta give the guy props for creativity. I never would have thought of saying that gay people were possessed by fart demons.
 
2014-07-26 07:43:57 PM
So Taco Bell is the main force behind the gay agenda, then?
 
2014-07-26 07:49:38 PM
What does it take these days to get people an involuntary 72 hours and a Thorazine drip? How is he allowed to go outside by himself?
 
2014-07-26 08:11:19 PM
Approves:

i3.kym-cdn.com
 
2014-07-26 08:17:38 PM
Salvation is at hand
img.auctiva.com
Rejoice!
 
2014-07-26 08:37:47 PM
Obviously this man is a moron. Everyone knows that once you begin having gay sex, no one can hear your farts any longer.

Our Dark Lord Satan, on the other hand, demands attention from anyone.

www.davespartyart.com
 
2014-07-26 08:38:18 PM
I knew it.
 
2014-07-26 08:38:26 PM
Hmmm ... tasty pigs.
 
2014-07-26 08:38:51 PM
I'll see your fart demons, and raise you a shiat ghost.
 
2014-07-26 08:40:07 PM
More people should get the gay virus/disease/demons/whatever. Self-slaughtering pigs would save a lot of labor hours at the meat-packing house.
 
2014-07-26 08:41:09 PM
For gay men, a fart is a queef
 
2014-07-26 08:41:11 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Salvation is at hand
[img.auctiva.com image 611x610]
Rejoice!


It should say ...prevent gays before they start*
 
2014-07-26 08:41:15 PM
"A genuine prophet of God told me that the Lord allowed him to smell this demon spirit, and he got sick to his stomach," he said.

Of course the 'demon spirit' was smeared on the tip of some drunk bears cock in a fetid vomit soaked alley, but hey, research.
 
2014-07-26 08:41:19 PM

jake_lex: So Taco Bell is the main force behind the gay agenda, then?



Nope, the manufacturers of pickled eggs are, Taco Bell is merely a associate sponsor
 
2014-07-26 08:41:35 PM
So, καὶ λέγει αὐτῷ Λεγιὼν ὄνομά μοι, ὅτι πολλοί ἐσμεν ?
 
2014-07-26 08:42:52 PM
Thanks Fartbongo!
 
2014-07-26 08:42:54 PM
What a fart demon might look like:

img.fark.net
 
2014-07-26 08:43:30 PM
I'm not gay but that's a pretty accurate description of my flatulence.  I've made dogs yelp and rub their noses.
 
2014-07-26 08:44:05 PM
So that's why they eat the poo poo.
 
2014-07-26 08:45:12 PM
I hereby trademark "Fart Demons" as a name for my heavy metal group. And was he conflating Black Sabbath's "War Pigs" and "Suicide Solution"?

/Subby
 
2014-07-26 08:45:32 PM
One of God's prophets personally phoned to let him know. This nut job received a crank call informing him of this?
 
2014-07-26 08:46:27 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-07-26 08:47:15 PM
Great. The priesthood has moved from diddling little boys to fart-huffing. Is there no fetish they won't explore?
 
2014-07-26 08:47:19 PM

ecmoRandomNumbers: What does it take these days to get people an involuntary 72 hours and a Thorazine drip? How is he allowed to go outside by himself?


Two people who can appear sound minded long enough to fill out the paperwork.
 
2014-07-26 08:48:04 PM
This is why we can't take people who claim divine revelation seriously.
 
2014-07-26 08:48:44 PM
Wow "FARK ready headline" also applies apparently lmfao. Anyone who follows this guy just needs to drown in a well of pure shame. How people like him gain a following at all is a mystery. I mean is there money in it for them or something? For a few million cash maybe I'd sit in on a few of his.....services as well and play along.
 
2014-07-26 08:49:19 PM
FTA:

Farias also warned that   is a sign from the man upstairs that our society is in "the last stages of decay" and that there will be severe "destructive physical, emotional, and spiritual consequences."

AND OUR SOIL WILL BE RUINED BECAUSE THE QUEERS ARE BUILDING STRIPS FOR GAY MARTIANS!
 
2014-07-26 08:50:13 PM
Landing strips.

Dammit.
 
2014-07-26 08:50:17 PM

Mr.Tangent: This is why we can't take people who claim divine revelation seriously.


And why we can't take people who believe those people seriously, why we shouldn't elect them into office, and why we should keep them out of the media.
 
2014-07-26 08:51:06 PM

bearded clamorer: I'll see your fart demons, and raise you a shiat ghost.


It's really a shiat demon.
img4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-07-26 08:51:35 PM

bearded clamorer: I'll see your fart demons, and raise you a shiat ghost.


LULZ

Pretty sure some of my farts would drive pigs to suicide.

/ Not gay
//NTTAWWT
 
2014-07-26 08:52:26 PM
ib1.huluim.com
 
2014-07-26 08:53:00 PM
"There is an account in the Bible where Jesus casts out 2,000 demons out of a man. The demons came out screaming and begged Jesus to send them into the pigs. The pigs didn't want them, so they ran down a steep hill and were drowned in the sea."

"Pigs have more sense than some humans," he added. "People embrace homosexual demons, but the pigs would rather die than be possessed with demons."


Wait a minute.

That jackass Jesus settled for loaves and fishes when He could've done up some barbecue?

And He calls Himself a Savior.
 
2014-07-26 08:56:18 PM
Cool, I am Legion.
 
2014-07-26 08:56:53 PM
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

I'm not your buddy, gay.

/nothin
 
2014-07-26 08:58:44 PM
So according to this waste of sperm anybody who eats taco bell is gay? Just cause your butt is on fire doesn't mean your flaming.
 
2014-07-26 09:00:16 PM
Well I *did* cut a pretty nasty fart about half an hour ago, but I think it had more to do with the fried egg sandwich for lunch than some gay sex demons.
 
2014-07-26 09:01:33 PM

redsquid: "A genuine prophet of God told me that the Lord allowed him to smell this demon spirit, and he got sick to his stomach," he said.

Of course the 'demon spirit' was smeared on the tip of some drunk bears cock in a fetid vomit soaked alley, but hey, research.


Wow, he really doesn't like the smell of sulfur!

Now I really want to see an episode of Supernatural about fart demons. C'mon Supernatural, you know this is perfect subject matter for you.
 
2014-07-26 09:01:43 PM
I just read the article, and then scanned it again, but I don't actually see a direct quote of him using the phrase "fart demons." Did I miss it, or is Queerty going out of their way to amplify the stupid?

The stupid's bad enough, Queerty. It already burns.
 
2014-07-26 09:07:10 PM

Fuggin Bizzy: I just read the article, and then scanned it again, but I don't actually see a direct quote of him using the phrase "fart demons." Did I miss it, or is Queerty going out of their way to amplify the stupid?

The stupid's bad enough, Queerty. It already burns.


I searched it, and no, he doesn't use the word fart anywhere in the original text.  He still sounds a bit unhinged, but "fart demons" as such, does not seem to appear a a term.  Feel free to adopt it as a band name without trademark concerns.
 
2014-07-26 09:13:04 PM
This guy is so stupid he would drown by looking up in the air during a rainstorm.
 
2014-07-26 09:13:27 PM

Gulper Eel: "There is an account in the Bible where Jesus casts out 2,000 demons out of a man. The demons came out screaming and begged Jesus to send them into the pigs. The pigs didn't want them, so they ran down a steep hill and were drowned in the sea."

"Pigs have more sense than some humans," he added. "People embrace homosexual demons, but the pigs would rather die than be possessed with demons."

Wait a minute.

That jackass Jesus settled for loaves and fishes when He could've done up some barbecue?

And He calls Himself a Savior.


Is that actually in the bible?

Maybe this is why pork isn't kosher /halal.
 
2014-07-26 09:13:27 PM

Lettuce Pray:


One of my favorite movies
 
2014-07-26 09:13:31 PM
Wrong is wrong no matter how many people are for it. And right is right no matter how many people are against
he said without a trace of self awareness.
 
2014-07-26 09:16:16 PM
well that explains EVERYTHING
 
2014-07-26 09:16:54 PM
The only people possessed by "fart demons" are middle-school boys.
 
2014-07-26 09:18:23 PM

DrunkWithImpotence: Fuggin Bizzy: I just read the article, and then scanned it again, but I don't actually see a direct quote of him using the phrase "fart demons." Did I miss it, or is Queerty going out of their way to amplify the stupid?

The stupid's bad enough, Queerty. It already burns.

I searched it, and no, he doesn't use the word fart anywhere in the original text.  He still sounds a bit unhinged, but "fart demons" as such, does not seem to appear a a term.  Feel free to adopt it as a band name without trademark concerns.


The only prior use I can think of are the flatulence-inducing aliens from Stephen King's "Dreamcatcher", but IIRC he called them "sh*t weasels", not "fart demons", so yeah, you're probably in the clear.

/I'm not coming to any of your gigs, BTW, and my sympathies to anyone fool enough to sit in the front row with a lit cigarette
 
2014-07-26 09:18:41 PM
I am the Devil.
 
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