If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(TMZ)   Not news: A New York man is suing Starbucks. News: Claiming the staff put heroin and Ambien in his Oprah Chai tea. Fark: six months before they even started serving Oprah Chai tea   (tmz.com) divider line 20
    More: Stupid  
•       •       •

3997 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jul 2014 at 2:12 PM (8 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-07-26 01:27:04 PM
10 votes:
Thanks, now I have a visual of Oprah doing Tai Chi.
2014-07-26 02:19:15 PM
5 votes:
Wouldn't it be a Lindsay Lohan Chai Tea, then?
2014-07-26 02:16:34 PM
5 votes:
Is it made with real Oprah's?
2014-07-26 02:39:05 PM
3 votes:
i.imgur.com
2014-07-26 02:15:54 PM
3 votes:
Oprah tea oprah chai life goes on brah......
2014-07-26 04:35:32 PM
2 votes:

The Man With Crazy Super Animal Powers: No way am I drinking anything named "Oprah" anything. Nope. Nope. Nope.

For the record, I'm also not drinking anything that bears the following names:

Lindsey Lohan
Kim Kardashian
Any other Kardashian
Paris Hilton
Kanye West
Russell Brand
Amanda Bynes
Miley Cyrus
Insane Clown Posse
Octomom
Nancy Grace
Pat Robertson
Rick Santorum
Sarah Palin
Victoria Jackson
Oasis
Ted Nugent
Ke$ha
Black Eyed Peas
Michelle Bachmann
Charlie Manson
Rick Perry
or
Zimmerman

(for starters)

Seriously, marketing wizards-- Don't tie these people to any food or beverage. Nothing about them makes me think, "Mmm! That sounds like something I want to put in my mouth!"


Oh man, you don't know what your missing. You haven't lived until you've had a bottle of Ke$ha's Nocturnal Emissions.
2014-07-26 03:13:01 PM
2 votes:

Grahor: A serious question. Isn't "Chai" actually just means "Tea"? Oprah Tea Tea? (not going to even start on "Oprah" being there)


Oprah spelled backwards is Harpo, who was one of the Marx brothers along with Groucho and Karlo.  So really when you ask for an Oprah chai tea, you're saying "I'd like a Marxist utopia bowl of duck soup tea tea, Dr. Phil."
2014-07-26 03:03:40 PM
2 votes:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Oprah chai tea?? Oprah, as in, the talk show host woman? Has her own tea being served at Stabucks in NYC? Forgive me, as a non-New Yorker this all seems very strange.


Arnold Palmer ice tea? Arnold Palmer as in the golfer? Has his own ice tea being sold by a major company across the country? Forgive me, as a non-golfer this all seems very strange.

/Somebody doesn't seem to understand celebrity product branding
2014-07-26 02:27:26 PM
2 votes:
Heroin? Oh, is that the "skinny" version I hear people order?
2014-07-26 02:19:58 PM
2 votes:

asdrabael: So whats the tipping protocol for a heroin and ambien chai tea?


Barista: 15%
Walrus: 5%
2014-07-26 02:19:52 PM
2 votes:

Bathysphere: jake_lex: I'm off to Starbucks to get an Oprah Chai Tea.  Anyone else want one?

Yes please, triple shot of ambien, heroin- free, with a vicodin substitute.


Ooh, and if they have it, maybe some of that marijuana lemon pound cake I've been hearing so much about
2014-07-26 04:29:40 PM
1 votes:
I have very little sympathy for a man who buys an Oprah chai tea and then complains that it isn't what he expected. Heroin and Ambien are part of the secret Oprah chai tea recipe. It's supposed to contain heroin and Ambien.  THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT OPRAH CHAI TEA, not just another cuppa chai. It'st Oprah chai tea, the chai so nice they named it redundantly. Like Oprah it's a born New Yorker and from Chicago. Paradox, mystery, infinite variety that shall never cloy.

Like Oprah its skinny and black, milky and fat, loveable and scary and generous and calculated to squeeze the last penny of profit out of you.

The fact that the guy ordered it months before it went on sale just goes to show how hard it is to be a five dimensional New Yorker (assuming we are in that one, as the guy in MIB3 would say). Insofar as I know what it is like to live in a world of constant mutation and confusion, I can sympathize with a guy who orders an Oprah chai tea and finds it completely unexpected. Happens to my aging hi-IQ mind all day, every day. Things disappear. Like this post did. I wrote it before my last post but I'm still not sure how to fix the problem with my Noscript! security software. This is my second post of this post already and I still don't know where it will go.
2014-07-26 03:47:09 PM
1 votes:

ZMugg: Fun Fact: Her birth name is Orpah, but nobody could pronounce it correctly, so Oprah stuck.


Sure that wasn't because it sounded too much like

www.worldsdumbestman.com
2014-07-26 03:10:50 PM
1 votes:

ongbok: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Oprah chai tea?? Oprah, as in, the talk show host woman? Has her own tea being served at Stabucks in NYC? Forgive me, as a non-New Yorker this all seems very strange.

Arnold Palmer ice tea? Arnold Palmer as in the golfer? Has his own ice tea being sold by a major company across the country? Forgive me, as a non-golfer this all seems very strange.

/Somebody doesn't seem to understand celebrity product branding


I was blown away by the "Gene Simmons Communion Wafers" they use at our church.
2014-07-26 02:31:32 PM
1 votes:
I had an extra hard time sleeping last night, so I remember taking an extra half Ambien and one finger of scotch.

This morning, 3 fingers of Scotch is gone and my $300 Juicer is already shipped out from Amazon.

FAN-tastic
2014-07-26 02:18:14 PM
1 votes:

jake_lex: I'm off to Starbucks to get an Oprah Chai Tea.  Anyone else want one?


Yes please, triple shot of ambien, heroin- free, with a vicodin substitute.
2014-07-26 02:18:01 PM
1 votes:
So whats the tipping protocol for a heroin and ambien chai tea?
2014-07-26 02:11:53 PM
1 votes:

jake_lex: I'm off to Starbucks to get an Oprah Chai Tea.  Anyone else want one?


2 heroins in mine, please
2014-07-26 01:24:10 PM
1 votes:
I'm off to Starbucks to get an Oprah Chai Tea.  Anyone else want one?
2014-07-26 01:15:37 PM
1 votes:
Well damn, all this time I've been drinking mine without drugs. I feel cheated.
 
Displayed 20 of 20 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report