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(TMZ)   Not news: A New York man is suing Starbucks. News: Claiming the staff put heroin and Ambien in his Oprah Chai tea. Fark: six months before they even started serving Oprah Chai tea   (tmz.com) divider line 138
    More: Stupid  
•       •       •

4058 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jul 2014 at 2:12 PM (31 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



138 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-07-26 04:22:52 PM  
With all this stuff about my misplaced post, I forgot to ask. How much is a cup of Oprah Chi tea?
 
2014-07-26 04:23:52 PM  

Vernon was quite desperate, you see
He claimed that his Oprah Chai TeaTM
Was laced with "heron"
So now he's upon
The Fark rack and mocked endlessly.

 
2014-07-26 04:27:29 PM  
No way am I drinking anything named "Oprah" anything. Nope. Nope. Nope.

For the record, I'm also not drinking anything that bears the following names:

Lindsey Lohan
Kim Kardashian
Any other Kardashian
Paris Hilton
Kanye West
Russell Brand
Amanda Bynes
Miley Cyrus
Insane Clown Posse
Octomom
Nancy Grace
Pat Robertson
Rick Santorum
Sarah Palin
Victoria Jackson
Oasis
Ted Nugent
Ke$ha
Black Eyed Peas
Michelle Bachmann
Charlie Manson
Rick Perry
or
Zimmerman

(for starters)

Seriously, marketing wizards-- Don't tie these people to any food or beverage. Nothing about them makes me think, "Mmm! That sounds like something I want to put in my mouth!"
 
2014-07-26 04:28:08 PM  

brantgoose: ZMugg: Mugato: ZMugg: Fun Fact: Her birth name is Orpah, but nobody could pronounce it correctly, so Oprah stuck.

Sure that wasn't because it sounded too much like

[www.worldsdumbestman.com image 256x359]

Oprah: released 1954
Orca:   released 1977

Probably not.

Oprah, Orca, Orca, Oprah. David Letterman: gone! He will be missed by some of the people some of the time. Who's that guy?


This is what Starbucks without Ambien does, people.
 
2014-07-26 04:29:08 PM  
Before we get all judgey on the guy we need to consider that he may have gotten his dates wrong. It might be hard to remember shait when all hopped up on heroin and ambien...
 
2014-07-26 04:29:33 PM  

The Man With Crazy Super Animal Powers: No way am I drinking anything named "Oprah" anything. Nope. Nope. Nope.

For the record, I'm also not drinking anything that bears the following names:

Lindsey Lohan
Kim Kardashian
Any other Kardashian
Paris Hilton
Kanye West
Russell Brand
Amanda Bynes
Miley Cyrus
Insane Clown Posse
Octomom
Nancy Grace
Pat Robertson
Rick Santorum
Sarah Palin
Victoria Jackson
Oasis
Ted Nugent
Ke$ha
Black Eyed Peas
Michelle Bachmann
Charlie Manson
Rick Perry
or
Zimmerman

(for starters)

Seriously, marketing wizards-- Don't tie these people to any food or beverage. Nothing about them makes me think, "Mmm! That sounds like something I want to put in my mouth!"


You wouldn't take a Zimmerman shot?
 
2014-07-26 04:29:40 PM  
I have very little sympathy for a man who buys an Oprah chai tea and then complains that it isn't what he expected. Heroin and Ambien are part of the secret Oprah chai tea recipe. It's supposed to contain heroin and Ambien.  THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT OPRAH CHAI TEA, not just another cuppa chai. It'st Oprah chai tea, the chai so nice they named it redundantly. Like Oprah it's a born New Yorker and from Chicago. Paradox, mystery, infinite variety that shall never cloy.

Like Oprah its skinny and black, milky and fat, loveable and scary and generous and calculated to squeeze the last penny of profit out of you.

The fact that the guy ordered it months before it went on sale just goes to show how hard it is to be a five dimensional New Yorker (assuming we are in that one, as the guy in MIB3 would say). Insofar as I know what it is like to live in a world of constant mutation and confusion, I can sympathize with a guy who orders an Oprah chai tea and finds it completely unexpected. Happens to my aging hi-IQ mind all day, every day. Things disappear. Like this post did. I wrote it before my last post but I'm still not sure how to fix the problem with my Noscript! security software. This is my second post of this post already and I still don't know where it will go.
 
2014-07-26 04:30:50 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: ongbok: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Oprah chai tea?? Oprah, as in, the talk show host woman? Has her own tea being served at Stabucks in NYC? Forgive me, as a non-New Yorker this all seems very strange.

Arnold Palmer ice tea? Arnold Palmer as in the golfer? Has his own ice tea being sold by a major company across the country? Forgive me, as a non-golfer this all seems very strange.

/Somebody doesn't seem to understand celebrity product branding

It's been around for years and is a combination of iced tea & lemonade. Arnold Palmer (drink)

Tasty too


It seems that two of you completely missed the point.
 
2014-07-26 04:32:05 PM  

The Man With Crazy Super Animal Powers: No way am I drinking anything named "Oprah" anything. Nope. Nope. Nope.

For the record, I'm also not drinking anything that bears the following names:

Lindsey Lohan
Kim Kardashian
Any other Kardashian
Paris Hilton
Kanye West
Russell Brand
Amanda Bynes
Miley Cyrus
Insane Clown Posse
Octomom
Nancy Grace
Pat Robertson
Rick Santorum
Sarah Palin
Victoria Jackson
Oasis
Ted Nugent
Ke$ha
Black Eyed Peas
Michelle Bachmann
Charlie Manson
Rick Perry
or
Zimmerman

(for starters)

Seriously, marketing wizards-- Don't tie these people to any food or beverage. Nothing about them makes me think, "Mmm! That sounds like something I want to put in my mouth!"


What are your feelings on Indonesian Civet poop? Higher or lower on your list? Not on your list? Needs to be checked twice?

I am personally willing to give it a try because they wash the beans carefully to extract them from the poop and boil the water to make coffee..
 
2014-07-26 04:35:32 PM  

The Man With Crazy Super Animal Powers: No way am I drinking anything named "Oprah" anything. Nope. Nope. Nope.

For the record, I'm also not drinking anything that bears the following names:

Lindsey Lohan
Kim Kardashian
Any other Kardashian
Paris Hilton
Kanye West
Russell Brand
Amanda Bynes
Miley Cyrus
Insane Clown Posse
Octomom
Nancy Grace
Pat Robertson
Rick Santorum
Sarah Palin
Victoria Jackson
Oasis
Ted Nugent
Ke$ha
Black Eyed Peas
Michelle Bachmann
Charlie Manson
Rick Perry
or
Zimmerman

(for starters)

Seriously, marketing wizards-- Don't tie these people to any food or beverage. Nothing about them makes me think, "Mmm! That sounds like something I want to put in my mouth!"


Oh man, you don't know what your missing. You haven't lived until you've had a bottle of Ke$ha's Nocturnal Emissions.
 
2014-07-26 04:36:33 PM  

ongbok: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Oprah chai tea?? Oprah, as in, the talk show host woman? Has her own tea being served at Stabucks in NYC? Forgive me, as a non-New Yorker this all seems very strange.

Arnold Palmer ice tea? Arnold Palmer as in the golfer? Has his own ice tea being sold by a major company across the country? Forgive me, as a non-golfer this all seems very strange.

/Somebody doesn't seem to understand celebrity product branding


An Arnold Palmer is half tea, half lemonade
 
2014-07-26 04:36:39 PM  

DerAppie: Badgers: [i.imgur.com image 640x395]

Well fark you.

/Now I want that tea set
//And I feel gay for wanting a tea set


Looks like it's sold out...
 
2014-07-26 04:43:24 PM  

baconbeard: zamboni: Grahor: A serious question. Isn't "Chai" actually just means "Tea"? Oprah Tea Tea? (not going to even start on "Oprah" being there)

It's true, but when Americans absorb a word into the language it takes on a different meaning. Chai tea makes one expect a particular preparation of tea. We have tea. Of almost countless varieties. But if you just said "chai"... there are many who wouldn't know what it was. So adding "tea" makes many say. "Oh, it's a beverage!"

Stupid, I know.

The other example that immediately comes to mind is "Shrimp Scampi" ... or "shrimp shrimp". But, again it is a particular preparation of shrimp that we expect. Butter, lemon, garlic, pasta etc... We have shrimp, prepared a brazillion ways. But "Shrimp Scampi" means something. I won't even mention that we now have chicken scampi... without shrimp, but the preparation is similar.. Thanks "Olive Garden"

Now, If you'll excuse me... I'm going to get a gyro wrap on pita bread. Actually, I think I will. There's a place nearby that kicks ass ass on their gyros.

I want a tuna fish sandwich.


They might not have that but If they do, I bet it would be good with their feta cheese, though I don't usually pair fish and cheese... and the tzatziki sauce is great!

Oh, bad news. Looks like they only offer it on a kaiser roll bun and butterkase cheese. Weird.
 
2014-07-26 04:43:41 PM  

ongbok: Bathia_Mapes: ongbok: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Oprah chai tea?? Oprah, as in, the talk show host woman? Has her own tea being served at Stabucks in NYC? Forgive me, as a non-New Yorker this all seems very strange.

Arnold Palmer ice tea? Arnold Palmer as in the golfer? Has his own ice tea being sold by a major company across the country? Forgive me, as a non-golfer this all seems very strange.

/Somebody doesn't seem to understand celebrity product branding

It's been around for years and is a combination of iced tea & lemonade. Arnold Palmer (drink)

Tasty too

It seems that two of you completely missed the point.


Don't worry, I enjoyed it.
 
2014-07-26 04:44:20 PM  

The Man With Crazy Super Animal Powers: No way am I drinking anything named "Oprah" anything. Nope. Nope. Nope.

For the record, I'm also not drinking anything that bears the following names:

Lindsey Lohan
Kim Kardashian
Any other Kardashian
Paris Hilton
Kanye West
Russell Brand
Amanda Bynes
Miley Cyrus
Insane Clown Posse
Octomom
Nancy Grace
Pat Robertson
Rick Santorum
Sarah Palin
Victoria Jackson
Oasis
Ted Nugent
Ke$ha
Black Eyed Peas
Michelle Bachmann
Charlie Manson
Rick Perry
or
Zimmerman

(for starters)

Seriously, marketing wizards-- Don't tie these people to any food or beverage. Nothing about them makes me think, "Mmm! That sounds like something I want to put in my mouth!"


I don't think they are trying to sell what ever they tie to those people to you. You aren't in the demographic they are trying to sell to. I know you think that your dollar is all important and all marketing should be tailored to your taste and needs, but there are other people out there that are in different demographics, and more than likely if a company decided to tie a product to one of those people on your list, the demographic that they are trying to attract is probably more important profit wise than yours.
 
2014-07-26 04:45:02 PM  
Insane Clown Posse Lapsang Souchong
Bill O'Reilly Oolong

How the Hell does that work?

I'd like the Insane Clown Posse Sou Chong because it's smoky. Sou Chong is great on a rainy day, especially with the sound of rain on a tin roof.

I might try the Russell Brand tea, too. It's also very smoky, if you catch my drift.

There's always one great tea or infusion if you don't like the celebrity teas:  Bronx Raspberry!
 
2014-07-26 04:47:24 PM  
What does a Bill O'Reilly Oolong taste like?
 
2014-07-26 04:59:55 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-07-26 05:12:37 PM  

Badgers: DerAppie: Badgers: [i.imgur.com image 640x395]

Well fark you.

/Now I want that tea set
//And I feel gay for wanting a tea set

Looks like it's sold out...


Not on amazon afaik. Still not buying it due to space and tea consumption limits.
 
2014-07-26 05:15:15 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Oprah chai tea?? Oprah, as in, the talk show host woman? Has her own tea being served at Stabucks in NYC? Forgive me, as a non-New Yorker this all seems very strange.


www.cheeseslave.com
 
2014-07-26 05:18:04 PM  

The Man With Crazy Super Animal Powers: No way am I drinking anything named "Oprah" anything. Nope. Nope. Nope.

For the record, I'm also not drinking anything that bears the following names:

Lindsey Lohan
Kim Kardashian
Any other Kardashian
Paris Hilton
Kanye West
Russell Brand
Amanda Bynes
Miley Cyrus
Insane Clown Posse
Octomom
Nancy Grace
Pat Robertson
Rick Santorum
Sarah Palin
Victoria Jackson
Oasis
Ted Nugent
Ke$ha
Black Eyed Peas
Michelle Bachmann
Charlie Manson
Rick Perry
or
Zimmerman

(for starters)

Seriously, marketing wizards-- Don't tie these people to any food or beverage. Nothing about them makes me think, "Mmm! That sounds like something I want to put in my mouth!"


But black eyed peas are yummy. Especially with collard greens and pickled green chiles.
 
2014-07-26 05:21:07 PM  

Savage Belief: The Man With Crazy Super Animal Powers: No way am I drinking anything named "Oprah" anything. Nope. Nope. Nope.

For the record, I'm also not drinking anything that bears the following names:

Lindsey Lohan
Kim Kardashian
Any other Kardashian
Paris Hilton
Kanye West
Russell Brand
Amanda Bynes
Miley Cyrus
Insane Clown Posse
Octomom
Nancy Grace
Pat Robertson
Rick Santorum
Sarah Palin
Victoria Jackson
Oasis
Ted Nugent
Ke$ha
Black Eyed Peas
Michelle Bachmann
Charlie Manson
Rick Perry
or
Zimmerman

(for starters)

Seriously, marketing wizards-- Don't tie these people to any food or beverage. Nothing about them makes me think, "Mmm! That sounds like something I want to put in my mouth!"

But black eyed peas are yummy. Especially with collard greens and pickled green chiles.


IN TEA!?
 
2014-07-26 05:29:08 PM  
They made a movie about that guy.
hd.wallpaperswide.com
 
2014-07-26 05:42:22 PM  

DerAppie: Badgers: DerAppie: Badgers: [i.imgur.com image 640x395]

Well fark you.

/Now I want that tea set
//And I feel gay for wanting a tea set

Looks like it's sold out...

Not on amazon afaik. Still not buying it due to space and tea consumption limits.


The ones on amazon are imitations.
 
2014-07-26 05:43:15 PM  

BigLuca: I had an extra hard time sleeping last night, so I remember taking an extra half Ambien and one finger of scotch.

This morning, 3 fingers of Scotch is gone and my $300 Juicer is already shipped out from Amazon.

FAN-tastic


God damned walrus's
 
2014-07-26 05:48:14 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

/obscure?
 
2014-07-26 05:51:11 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com

No but, seriously, how are weed and acid illegal, yet Ambien is prescribed by real doctors?

/Big pharma.
//Answered my own question.
 
2014-07-26 05:52:41 PM  

Badgers: DerAppie: Badgers: DerAppie: Badgers: [i.imgur.com image 640x395]

Well fark you.

/Now I want that tea set
//And I feel gay for wanting a tea set

Looks like it's sold out...

Not on amazon afaik. Still not buying it due to space and tea consumption limits.

The ones on amazon are imitations.


As if people would notice.
 
2014-07-26 06:23:12 PM  

daffy: I don't hate anyone. I just think there is a right place and time and a wrong place and time for everything. Disney World in the middle of the day, happens to be the wrong place and time for ANY TWO PEOPLE to be groping each other in front in front of every one.


How many of those heroin-infused Oprah chais have you had today, dude?
 
2014-07-26 06:27:38 PM  

Bathysphere: Bathysphere: jake_lex: I'm off to Starbucks to get an Oprah Chai Tea.  Anyone else want one?

Yes please, triple shot of ambien, heroin- free, with a vicodin substitute.

Ooh, and if they have it, maybe some of that marijuana lemon pound cake I've been hearing so much about


I don't see why you couldn't have that.

/in CO
//sounds really tasty!
 
2014-07-26 06:38:59 PM  

zamboni: I won't even mention that we now have chicken scampi... without shrimp, but the preparation is similar.. Thanks "Olive Garden"


Please don't mention that, I had never heard of that and it sounds like a culinary train wreck.  Makes about as much sense as vegetarian steak or kosher cheeseburgers.
 
2014-07-26 06:48:47 PM  

TrixieDelite: daffy: I don't hate anyone. I just think there is a right place and time and a wrong place and time for everything. Disney World in the middle of the day, happens to be the wrong place and time for ANY TWO PEOPLE to be groping each other in front in front of every one.

How many of those heroin-infused Oprah chais have you had today, dude?


This comment is about a comment that I made on another thread. I am being chased around by a nasty person that thinks I should not have the right to say anything. It's getting a bit tiresome.
 
2014-07-26 07:24:02 PM  

Badgers: [i.imgur.com image 640x395]


Lol'ed at that one. I collect teapots, really want that one :)
 
2014-07-26 09:40:00 PM  
It just doesn't matter. Starsucks has deep pockets and will pay for this nutjob to just go away.
 
2014-07-26 10:15:19 PM  

ArcadianRefugee: I'm gonna guess he's representing himself. What lawyer in his right mind would take on a case so obviously based on crazy?


All of them.  As long as the client has money.  You're new here, aren't you?
 
2014-07-26 10:21:47 PM  
I get some of the best household cleaning done while on ambian. I guess the walrus inspires me.
 
2014-07-27 01:29:23 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Oprah chai tea?? Oprah, as in, the talk show host woman? Has her own tea being served at Stabucks in NYC? Forgive me, as a non-New Yorker this all seems very strange.


Oprah is based in Chicago.
 
2014-07-27 02:09:22 AM  

The Man With Crazy Super Animal Powers: No way am I drinking anything named "Oprah" anything. Nope. Nope. Nope.

For the record, I'm also not drinking anything that bears the following names:

Lindsey Lohan
Kim Kardashian
Any other Kardashian
Paris Hilton
Kanye West
Russell Brand
Amanda Bynes
Miley Cyrus
Insane Clown Posse
Octomom
Nancy Grace
Pat Robertson
Rick Santorum
Sarah Palin
Victoria Jackson
Oasis
Ted Nugent
Ke$ha
Black Eyed Peas
Michelle Bachmann
Charlie Manson
Rick Perry
or
Zimmerman

(for starters)

Seriously, marketing wizards-- Don't tie these people to any food or beverage. Nothing about them makes me think, "Mmm! That sounds like something I want to put in my mouth!"


Well, maybe Santorum.
 
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