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(Daily Mail)   Self-described "soulmates" are more likely to split up than those who simply see their relationship as journey through life together, reports Professor Spike Lee   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 67
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1451 clicks; posted to Geek » on 26 Jul 2014 at 8:33 AM (20 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-26 01:50:04 AM  
You can put a lot of pressure onto a relationship. If you see it as something larger, then you have equal pressure to make it seem "effortless" and most relationships do need some work. If you're doing it right, you're honest with one another, you can be open about little things, you can do so without a lot of strife, and move on. If you see your relationship as "destined" then you put off a lot of those discussions as being "beneath" you and your partner, and then that builds up some resentment and it sort of bubbles over later, and that can spoil the whole damn thing.

I had to learn this from old fashioned experience. Don't get me wrong, I have a great faith in the power of love, but putting your relationship onto a pedestal, and your partner on that same pedestal, that just means there's more room to fall, and it's not really a comfy place. Partners, equals, much more comfortable, and much easier to maintain, and a lot less resentment if folks don't live up to expectations that you put onto them. Especially if you don't tell them what those expectations are, because you're so bonded that they should just know.

Be good to each other. Be good with each other. Have fun. Laugh lots. Be together, and trust each other enough to let each other know when sh*t ain't working right, because without that, you run into some scary territory.
 
2014-07-26 02:05:58 AM  
My first wife used to refer to us as "soulmates". I bought into that for a long time, but at some point it just seemed rather far fetched.
 
2014-07-26 02:56:35 AM  
I don't even know where to start with this, but I'm going to try to boil it down with some numbers:

1: Spike Lee has nothing to do with this. This makes me think you're a racist asshole, and I really hope some Admin outs you for this, because you deserve to be exposed.

2: Go fark yourself. Seriously. You deserve a big black dildo hitting the back of your brain right now.
 
2014-07-26 07:14:03 AM  
i1.kym-cdn.com
 
2014-07-26 07:35:19 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: I don't even know where to start with this, but I'm going to try to boil it down with some numbers:

1: Spike Lee has nothing to do with this. This makes me think you're a racist asshole, and I really hope some Admin outs you for this, because you deserve to be exposed.

2: Go fark yourself. Seriously. You deserve a big black dildo hitting the back of your brain right now.


FTFA: Professor Spike Lee, of Toronto University

Now do the right thing.

/of course I don't know what they mean by Toronto University
 
2014-07-26 08:00:50 AM  

JasonOfOrillia: ecmoRandomNumbers: I don't even know where to start with this, but I'm going to try to boil it down with some numbers:

1: Spike Lee has nothing to do with this. This makes me think you're a racist asshole, and I really hope some Admin outs you for this, because you deserve to be exposed.

2: Go fark yourself. Seriously. You deserve a big black dildo hitting the back of your brain right now.

FTFA: Professor Spike Lee, of Toronto University

Now do the right thing.

/of course I don't know what they mean by Toronto University


With a name like Lee you'll never guess his ethnicity:

http://www.sciencecodex.com/new_research_when_it_hurts_to_think_we_w er e_made_for_each_other-138210
 
2014-07-26 08:28:16 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: 1: Spike Lee has nothing to do with this. This makes me think you're a racist asshole


Put the card back in the deck, that's the guy's name.

/not subby
 
2014-07-26 08:35:35 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: I don't even know where to start with this, but I'm going to try to boil it down with some numbers:

1: Spike Lee has nothing to do with this. This makes me think you're a racist asshole, and I really hope some Admin outs you for this, because you deserve to be exposed.

2: Go fark yourself. Seriously. You deserve a big black dildo hitting the back of your brain right now.


Now tell us about Norbert Schwartz.
 
2014-07-26 08:39:43 AM  
img3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-07-26 08:40:29 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: I don't even know where to start with this, but I'm going to try to boil it down with some numbers:

1: Spike Lee has nothing to do with this. This makes me think you're a racist asshole, and I really hope some Admin outs you for this, because you deserve to be exposed.

2: Go fark yourself. Seriously. You deserve a big black dildo hitting the back of your brain right now.


I think it's time for a new log on, don't you?
 
2014-07-26 08:43:01 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: I don't even know where to start with this, but I'm going to try to boil it down with some numbers:

1: Spike Lee has nothing to do with this. This makes me think you're a racist asshole, and I really hope some Admin outs you for this, because you deserve to be exposed.

2: Go fark yourself. Seriously. You deserve a big black dildo hitting the back of your brain right now.



I like when stupid people get all angry and rant on about stuff, such as racism, when nothing like that was remotely mentioned.  Unless this was a joke I don't get...     If not, get some help dude.

/People are crazy
 
2014-07-26 08:49:50 AM  
a person that buys into soulmate bullshiat is also likely to break one good relationship for another, since every time that person has a crush or gets an infatuation they will feel like "oh, THIS must be my TRUE soulmate".
 
2014-07-26 08:50:37 AM  
"If I didn't have you, I'd probably have somebody else"

skip the first 2 minutes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zn6gV2sdl38
 
2014-07-26 09:08:15 AM  

oukewldave: ecmoRandomNumbers: I don't even know where to start with this, but I'm going to try to boil it down with some numbers:

1: Spike Lee has nothing to do with this. This makes me think you're a racist asshole, and I really hope some Admin outs you for this, because you deserve to be exposed.

2: Go fark yourself. Seriously. You deserve a big black dildo hitting the back of your brain right now.


I like when stupid people get all angry and rant on about stuff, such as racism, when nothing like that was remotely mentioned.  Unless this was a joke I don't get...     If not, get some help dude.

/People are crazy


I recommend some Leo Buscaglia, The Art of Being Fully Human, for learning how to love your fellow man, your spouse, despite all their foibles.

Also, I'm glad I rarely read articles here.
 
2014-07-26 09:09:27 AM  
destiny, destiny, no escaping that for me!

/off to drink some warm milk
 
2014-07-26 09:35:28 AM  

frepnog: a person that buys into soulmate bullshiat is also likely to break one good relationship for another, since every time that person has a crush or gets an infatuation they will feel like "oh, THIS must be my TRUE soulmate".


Not a very good relationship, then, is it? Those are also the kinds of people who are flaky as fark, and who become stalkers.
 
2014-07-26 09:39:59 AM  
Being on fark, I have read a lot of people describe why their relationships or those of people they knew failed.  Soul mates isn't exactly common but it has come up more than once.

1)  Once instance, a farker described how a woman he knew from a christian conservative household became a lesbian atheist and moved to Georgia to be with a, as the farker described it, "butch lesbian" who was her soul mate.  Said soul mate was physically abusive and later the couple split.  Later, woman moved back, married a man and got a job at a pizza place if I recall correctly.

2)  A farker described how in WoW, his wife fell in love with another woman over the internet and became convinced that they were soul mates and left him for her.  I recall that relationship also breaking up after a year or so.

3)  A farker described how his wife became convinced that another man was her soul mate and decided to divorce the farker to be with the soul mate.  Lasted about six months.

Clearly, soul mates are the enemy and need to be destroyed at all costs.  It is the only logical course of action.
 
2014-07-26 09:42:17 AM  

Gergesa: Being on fark, I have read a lot of people describe why their relationships or those of people they knew failed.  Soul mates isn't exactly common but it has come up more than once.

1)  Once instance, a farker described how a woman he knew from a christian conservative household became a lesbian atheist and moved to Georgia to be with a, as the farker described it, "butch lesbian" who was her soul mate.  Said soul mate was physically abusive and later the couple split.  Later, woman moved back, married a man and got a job at a pizza place if I recall correctly.

2)  A farker described how in WoW, his wife fell in love with another woman over the internet and became convinced that they were soul mates and left him for her.  I recall that relationship also breaking up after a year or so.

3)  A farker described how his wife became convinced that another man was her soul mate and decided to divorce the farker to be with the soul mate.  Lasted about six months.

Clearly, soul mates are the enemy and need to be destroyed at all costs.  It is the only logical course of action.


Be sure to smash their apartments to destroy the soul jar or they'll just be back in 2d4 weeks.
 
2014-07-26 09:44:03 AM  
A girl I went out with a few times asked me if I believed in soul mates, one guy for every girl, etc. Kind of freaked me out so I told her that the  math really couldn't work on that. That took care of it.
 
2014-07-26 09:49:00 AM  
A strange fox told me to find my soul mate after I ate some chili once.
 
2014-07-26 09:52:22 AM  
I see our relationship as a journey and I've taken the liberty of buying you a one way first class ticket to sunny Getthehelloutofmy Lifeville.
 
2014-07-26 09:59:16 AM  
Remember that Gary Larson cartoon about "Nature's way of saying 'do not touch'"? It's too bad there isn't a simple, obvious cartoon depiction of the sort of person who uses the term "soulmate".
 
2014-07-26 10:36:40 AM  
Certainly matches my experiences. Soulmates have always broken off the relationship after finding an even better soulmate.  I accepted my wife's proposal after she downgraded me from 'perfect' to 'best ever'. The S-word has not been mentioned.
 
2014-07-26 10:42:46 AM  
"I accepted my wife's proposal after she downgraded me from 'perfect' to 'best ever'. The S-word has not been mentioned."

What was the proposal? Did she offer you a 1976 Plymouth Volare? Free condoms for life? I was listed as 'best ever', until the biatch packed up & left. Suddenly, I was no longer in the equation.
 
2014-07-26 11:04:11 AM  
I thought everyone knew this?

If you believe in a perfect soul-mate that exists just for you; any annoyance, problem or hiccup in your relationship is a clear indication that you and your significant other are NOT perfect soulmates.  If the person you are with isn't your soul-mate, you should leave them because you believe there is a perfect person out there looking for you.  Any sign of trouble == time to leave.

If you believe that you and your significant other enjoy each other and want to spend your life together, you acknowledge that they aren't perfect (and that you aren't perfect).  If there is a problem that emerges, there is no reason to believe there even exists another person for which you'd have no problems.  Relationships *have* problems, so that doesn't mean that this relationship is doomed.

Same deal with 'dream jobs'.  I've never met anyone who says they've got their 'dream job' who wasn't also bat-crap crazy and who ranted about how much their job sucked once they left.
 
2014-07-26 11:12:42 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: I don't even know where to start with this, but I'm going to try to boil it down with some numbers:

1: Spike Lee has nothing to do with this. This makes me think you're a racist asshole, and I really hope some Admin outs you for this, because you deserve to be exposed.

2: Go fark yourself. Seriously. You deserve a big black dildo hitting the back of your brain right now.


Should your farkie title be "Proud owner of a well used Race card." or "Likes big black dildos hitting the back of her brain"?  I figure you should at least get to choose.
 
2014-07-26 11:13:40 AM  

oukewldave: ecmoRandomNumbers: I don't even know where to start with this, but I'm going to try to boil it down with some numbers:

1: Spike Lee has nothing to do with this. This makes me think you're a racist asshole, and I really hope some Admin outs you for this, because you deserve to be exposed.

2: Go fark yourself. Seriously. You deserve a big black dildo hitting the back of your brain right now.


I like when stupid people get all angry and rant on about stuff, such as racism, when nothing like that was remotely mentioned.  Unless this was a joke I don't get...     If not, get some help dude.

/People are crazy


Nope. He is a professional victim Democrat.

/not subby.
 
2014-07-26 11:28:10 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: [ignorant BS]


A bunch of other farkers: ecmoRandomNumbers gettin' told

i56.tinypic.com
 
2014-07-26 11:28:56 AM  
Like, totally?

Oops passive surveillance state. individuality decreases. change places.
 
2014-07-26 11:32:38 AM  
Marriages based on love are likely to fail.

Now, arranged marriages...that's where it's at.
 
2014-07-26 11:37:18 AM  

Corn_Fed: Marriages based on love are likely to fail.

Now, arranged marriages...that's where it's at.


You know that thing called government? Why even process love with that kind of packaging? Just trying to be a dick to yourself?
 
2014-07-26 11:44:22 AM  
I think the whole soulmate thing is based almost completely on emotions. The real deal combines strong attraction with rational thought and consideration

Also, I have never seen such a disparate group of Farkers all rally together as one against a particularly egregious comment. This is truly the best of Fark.
 
2014-07-26 11:45:01 AM  

Xxplosiv: Corn_Fed: Marriages based on love are likely to fail.

Now, arranged marriages...that's where it's at.

You know that thing called government? Why even process love with that kind of packaging? Just trying to be a dick to yourself?


Just telling it like it is. And the divorce statistics bear it out.
 
2014-07-26 11:52:47 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: I don't even know where to start with this, but I'm going to try to boil it down with some numbers:

1: Spike Lee has nothing to do with this. This makes me think you're a racist asshole, and I really hope some Admin outs you for this, because you deserve to be exposed.

2: Go fark yourself. Seriously. You deserve a big black dildo hitting the back of your brain right now.


Is this you?

i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-26 12:07:31 PM  
Why "strange"?  This is "Blood obvious."
 
2014-07-26 12:21:15 PM  
Gah.  "Bloody obvious" of course. And that perfectly good "Preview" button was just sitting there waiting for me.
 
2014-07-26 12:29:09 PM  
I dunno... At the risk of making everyone vomit, I think my wife and I are about as close to "soulmates" as it gets. Sure we have our arguments, and everything isn't all unicorns and rainbow farts all the time, but I'm certain that neither one of us would last very long without the other. Nor would we want to.  Next January will be our 27th anniversary. We've been friends since we were 8, and she still is my best friend.

Here ya go:

resourcefuldesign.com
 
2014-07-26 12:38:05 PM  

GibbyTheMole: I dunno... At the risk of making everyone vomit, I think my wife and I are about as close to "soulmates" as it gets. Sure we have our arguments, and everything isn't all unicorns and rainbow farts all the time, but I'm certain that neither one of us would last very long without the other. Nor would we want to.  Next January will be our 27th anniversary. We've been friends since we were 8, and she still is my best friend.

Here ya go:

[resourcefuldesign.com image 384x579]


Obviously the definition of soulmate varies from person to person, just like the definition of 'love".  In the narrow sense,  it is much as described in the article.  In a broader sense, it can include the ability to navigate through tough waters with mutual respect and understanding.  - Dr. Phil
 
2014-07-26 12:45:18 PM  
This is in line with my personal experience as well.  The craziest most unstable woman I've known was prone to deciding that guys were her soulmates and that they "completed" her and then a short time later moving on and doing the same with someone else.  I've never heard the term come out of my wife's mouth yet we're perfectly happy together.
 
2014-07-26 12:47:00 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: I don't even know where to start with this, but I'm going to try to boil it down with some numbers:

1: Spike Lee has nothing to do with this. This makes me think you're a racist asshole, and I really hope some Admin outs you for this, because you deserve to be exposed.

2: Go fark yourself. Seriously. You deserve a big black dildo hitting the back of your brain right now.


Finishing move with the the deadly combo of the race card combined with white guilt.

Not only did you not read the article but you do realize the Spike Lee you reference is one of the biggest racists out there.

Methinks you should return to thread and eat some well deserved crow.
 
2014-07-26 12:51:00 PM  

Corn_Fed: Xxplosiv: Corn_Fed: Marriages based on love are likely to fail.

Now, arranged marriages...that's where it's at.

You know that thing called government? Why even process love with that kind of packaging? Just trying to be a dick to yourself?

Just telling it like it is. And the divorce statistics bear it out.


Wife is Indian. Arranged marriages don't fail because they are "too big to fail" and family will not ALLOW a divorce. Even if you have to live separately, etc. Even for beating and cheating.
 
2014-07-26 12:54:04 PM  
Flakes flake out, news at 11.
 
2014-07-26 12:54:38 PM  
My first wife and I never considered ourselves "soulmates" but my current wife of 22 years and I do. Of course, we are also more willing to put up with each other's shiat, which is 90% of the battle, and the sex is pretty good, which is the other 40%.

In other news, people often lie when they claim to be "soulmates" and liars don't do well in relationships, either.

Is it too late to pile on ecmoRandomNumbers?
 
2014-07-26 12:57:28 PM  

Ed Grubermann: [img3.wikia.nocookie.net image 333x450]

Checking in to see if anyone made this point. Satisfied,

 
2014-07-26 01:16:40 PM  

Mugato: ecmoRandomNumbers: 1: Spike Lee has nothing to do with this. This makes me think you're a racist asshole

Put the card back in the deck, that's the guy's name.

/not subby


What do you expect of a racist but to immediately start screaming racism?  Projection is a hell of a thing
 
2014-07-26 01:25:10 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: I don't even know where to start with this, but I'm going to try to boil it down with some numbers:

1: Spike Lee has nothing to do with this. This makes me think you're a racist asshole, and I really hope some Admin outs you for this, because you deserve to be exposed.

2: Go fark yourself. Seriously. You deserve a big black dildo hitting the back of your brain right now.


I guess your ignorant, overly-PC foolish ass of a self has abandoned this thread?
 
2014-07-26 01:28:00 PM  
Daily Mail + Spike Lee = Truth?

(yeah I know different Spike Lee)
 
2014-07-26 01:50:44 PM  

LesserEvil: My first wife and I never considered ourselves "soulmates" but my current wife of 22 years and I do. Of course, we are also more willing to put up with each other's shiat, which is 90% of the battle, and the sex is pretty good, which is the other 40%.

In other news, people often lie when they claim to be "soulmates" and liars don't do well in relationships, either.

Is it too late to pile on ecmoRandomNumbers?


Nope. I'm still here, taking the abuse.
 
2014-07-26 02:02:31 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: What do you expect of a racist but to immediately start screaming racism?  Projection is a hell of a thing


kindda like when anybody criticizes Obama then, right?
 
2014-07-26 02:07:30 PM  

Corn_Fed: Marriages based on love are likely to fail.

Now, arranged marriages...that's where it's at.


Wait another 100 years ... marriages arranged by complementary DNA, not family finances, will be all the rage.  The Kwisatz Haderach is not far away.


Personally, I believe in compatibility, not in soul mates.  People can have such compatible personalities that they feel like soul mates, but it's not destiny.  It's their strengths and weaknesses as individuals that make them a great couple that "completes" the other.

If two people don't have compatible personalities, that relationship is doomed.  Doomed.  Dooooooomed.
 
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