If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(New Zealand Herald)   The latest peril from the animal kingdom: GIANT KILLER ANTEATERS   (nzherald.co.nz) divider line 49
    More: Scary  
•       •       •

5962 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jul 2014 at 2:06 AM (17 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-07-26 12:43:52 AM  
let me add this to the list of reasons i will never visit africa
 
2014-07-26 01:17:33 AM  
I learned two great lessons when I lived in South America:

Number one: When somebody screams, "¡Corre!" you move your ass. I learned this, embarrasingly, from a Santiaguino roommate when a giant orange cricket found its way into our room in Coyhaique, Chile. It scared the shiat out of me for a good 15 years. I still hate crickets.

Number two: There are no poisonous animals in Chile.

You will never find me in Brazil, though. Ever. That place is hot and it sucks. Keep your anteaters.
 
2014-07-26 01:34:38 AM  
FTA: The other case involved a 75-year-old man who died in 2010 when an anteater used its long front claws -- which typically help it dig into anthills -- to puncture his femoral arteries, located in the groin and thigh.

Giant anteater cockpunch? Dang.

Come to think of it, though... was that the featured beverage at some frat party I played at a long time ago?

nickdaisy: let me add this to the list of reasons i will never visit africa


"Giant anteaters kill two hunters in Brazil" -- this is one of those "that's the joke" moments, right?
 
2014-07-26 02:09:20 AM  
i291.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-26 02:11:41 AM  
img.fark.net

Always knew that anteaters were bad news.
 
2014-07-26 02:11:48 AM  
great, now they've developed the taste for blood.
 
2014-07-26 02:16:18 AM  
A 2-year old case and a 4-year old case. Yeah, that's some peril.
 
2014-07-26 02:17:16 AM  
That has to be one of the most ignominious ways to go in the history of ever.

"I was shot by terrorists."
"I was poisoned by a king cobra."
"I was disembowled by an anteater."
 
2014-07-26 02:18:16 AM  
Dinsdale?
 
2014-07-26 02:22:50 AM  

Not_Todd: A 2-year old case and a 4-year old case. Yeah, that's some peril.


You gonna go out and face the peril?
 
2014-07-26 02:23:05 AM  
Isn't eating giant killer ants a good thing?
 
2014-07-26 02:25:32 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Not_Todd: A 2-year old case and a 4-year old case. Yeah, that's some peril.

You gonna go out and face the peril?


It's too perilous.
 
2014-07-26 02:26:30 AM  
dead ant dead ant

dead ant dead ant dead ant
 
2014-07-26 02:29:01 AM  
The worst thing about anteaters is the smell. They got that "marking musk" think going on like a lot of those four legged mammals do, and it stinks to high hell. It's almost as bad a skunk. You can't accidentally stumble upon an anteater. You'll know it's there a long ways off.

But that aside, yeah, no shiat something with hard, sharp bits on its feet will occasionally kill someone who's farking with it. Even deer do it all the time.
 
2014-07-26 02:33:30 AM  
www.meemes.com
 
2014-07-26 02:37:29 AM  
Giant killer anteater is how some women have referred to my penis. (I'm uncircumcised) (And sometimes ants crawl in there)
 
2014-07-26 02:37:29 AM  
Did someone say perils?

www.cartoonscrapbook.com
 
2014-07-26 02:39:41 AM  

nickdaisy: let me add this to the list of reasons i will never visit africa


Niger, please.
 
2014-07-26 02:40:00 AM  
If there are giant killer ants running around then I am glad something is eating them.
 
2014-07-26 02:43:16 AM  

Omahawg: dead ant dead ant

dead ant dead ant dead ant


What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

/Ward, I think you were a little hard on the Beaver last night
 
2014-07-26 02:47:30 AM  

XMark: [www.meemes.com image 580x778]


Love that, and that's not even a giant, is it? Rough draft of an awesome movie poster right there.
 
2014-07-26 02:49:09 AM  
However, they have poor vision and if frightened, they may defend themselves with front claws that are as long as pocketknives.

Read quickly while tired and drunk:

"However, they have poor vision and if frightened, they may defend themselves with pocketknives."

Man, that was a disappointing correction. Great visual, though.
 
2014-07-26 02:54:48 AM  
So the one guy was hunting and then decided to go at it with a knife?
www.quickmeme.com
 
2014-07-26 03:06:50 AM  

nickdaisy: let me add this to the list of reasons i will never visit africa


You should definitely go to Brazil then. There are definitely no giant anteaters there.
 
2014-07-26 03:20:59 AM  
ten to one both incidents were because some drunken gaucho was like "hey hombre, hold my cerveza and watch this!"

Anteaters aren't exactly aggressive.
 
2014-07-26 03:21:45 AM  
img3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-07-26 03:21:57 AM  
Good for them.
 
2014-07-26 03:24:15 AM  
One of these killed and ate my Dad's sister.
 
2014-07-26 03:45:19 AM  

Thanks for the Meme-ries: [i291.photobucket.com image 271x205]


cf.chucklesnetwork.com
 
2014-07-26 03:51:42 AM  
What has four legs and eats ants?

Two Uncles...
 
2014-07-26 03:52:17 AM  

picturescrazy: If there are giant killer ants running around then I am glad something is eating them.


tnation.t-nation.com
 
2014-07-26 03:57:48 AM  

cretinbob: Thanks for the Meme-ries: [i291.photobucket.com image 271x205]

[cf.chucklesnetwork.com image 500x500]


I believe one of them talks like Jackie Mason.
 
2014-07-26 03:58:43 AM  

Boo_Guy: So the one guy was hunting and then decided to go at it with a knife?

neongoats: ten to one both incidents were because some drunken gaucho was like "hey hombre, hold my cerveza and watch this!"

Anteaters aren't exactly aggressive.


Yup, I don't feel sorry for these people. Leave the anteaters alone and they'll leave you alone also. If you want to be an asshole towards a placid animal that was happily minding its own business, then you deserve to die from the resulting wounds.
 
2014-07-26 04:02:03 AM  

Nidiot: Boo_Guy: So the one guy was hunting and then decided to go at it with a knife?
neongoats: ten to one both incidents were because some drunken gaucho was like "hey hombre, hold my cerveza and watch this!"

Anteaters aren't exactly aggressive.

Yup, I don't feel sorry for these people. Leave the anteaters alone and they'll leave you alone also. If you want to be an asshole towards a placid animal that was happily minding its own business, then you deserve to die from the resulting wounds.


listsalad.com

/window seat, please.
 
2014-07-26 04:05:05 AM  

neongoats: ten to one both incidents were because some drunken gaucho was like "hey hombre, hold my cerveza and watch this!"

Anteaters aren't exactly aggressive.


(Brazilians speak Portuguese)
 
2014-07-26 04:07:26 AM  

Harry_Seldon: cretinbob: Thanks for the Meme-ries: [i291.photobucket.com image 271x205]

[cf.chucklesnetwork.com image 500x500]

I believe one of them talks like Jackie Mason.


That would be a borschteater


//the voice was actually John Byner impersonating Jackie Mason. good impersonation, it wasn't until there was an internet that I kew that.

www.uglorable.com

//suddenly...a pangolin
 
2014-07-26 04:11:08 AM  

Loucifer: One of these killed and ate my Dad's sister.


media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com
 
2014-07-26 05:16:33 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: I learned two great lessons when I lived in South America:

Number one: When somebody screams, "¡Corre!" you move your ass. I learned this, embarrasingly, from a Santiaguino roommate when a giant orange cricket found its way into our room in Coyhaique, Chile. It scared the shiat out of me for a good 15 years. I still hate crickets.

Number two: There are no poisonous animals in Chile.

You will never find me in Brazil, though. Ever. That place is hot and it sucks. Keep your anteaters.


Thank God. I've been meaning to try the pan-fried Chilean blue ptarmigan.
 
2014-07-26 07:56:27 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-07-26 08:04:13 AM  

Not_Todd: A 2-year old case and a 4-year old case. Yeah, that's some peril.


This means we're due for another this year.  EVERYBODY PANIC!
 
2014-07-26 09:04:24 AM  

AbuHashish: Dinsdale?


img.fark.net
 
2014-07-26 09:19:47 AM  
 
2014-07-26 10:24:32 AM  
Both femoral artery shots.
Drain you like the bottom broke out of a bottle.
 
2014-07-26 12:13:17 PM  

CipollinaFan: neongoats: ten to one both incidents were because some drunken gaucho was like "hey hombre, hold my cerveza and watch this!"

Anteaters aren't exactly aggressive.

(Brazilians speak Portuguese)


I realize that, but lack farks to give. Cerveja, there ya go.
 
2014-07-26 12:43:58 PM  

Bermuda59: Here's an expert on them

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXD9HnrNrvk


That's almost as painful to watch as WTFark
 
2014-07-26 02:12:11 PM  

cretinbob: Bermuda59: Here's an expert on them

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXD9HnrNrvk

That's almost as painful to watch as WTFark


The "real" news is quite often so bad that you can't tell it from The Onion.  And, vice versa, for the same reason.
 
2014-07-26 02:40:27 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-07-26 03:39:18 PM  

cretinbob: www.uglorable.com

//suddenly...a pangolin


Love pangolins. Not only amazing animals, but those scale would be great to simulate dragonscale or the like for some serious nerding out.
 
2014-07-26 05:39:14 PM  

Danger Avoid Death: Loucifer: One of these killed and ate my Dad's sister.


Do anteaters have bodies? If so, where are they?
 
Displayed 49 of 49 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report