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(TMZ)   Former WWE champion Daniel Bryan stops burglar at his home. The thief is expected to get 5 to 10 years in abeyance   (tmz.com) divider line 70
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2640 clicks; posted to Sports » on 26 Jul 2014 at 3:49 AM (7 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



70 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-07-25 09:44:28 PM
YES
 
2014-07-25 10:58:14 PM
His new cellmate?  Goes by the name of Clenis.
 
2014-07-26 12:02:16 AM
BAH GAWD, KING, THAT MAN HAS A FAMILY TO PROTECT!

IT'S A FLYIN' GOAT STOPPING A BURGLAR MAGGLE!

/why didn't we have more JR/JBL pairings at the announce table?
 
2014-07-26 04:21:31 AM
Obviously staged. Probably with assistance from Andy Kaufman.
 
2014-07-26 04:25:05 AM
Why is this in the sports tab?

/:)
 
2014-07-26 04:29:15 AM
Wow he wasn't charged with a crime for running him down and the cops managed to not shoot him or his dog!

Good story all around talk about a bad place to break into.
 
2014-07-26 04:44:40 AM

CipollinaFan: Why is this in the sports tab?

/:)


It's cross-listed in Entertainment this time too, at least.
 
2014-07-26 04:53:06 AM

JohnAnnArbor: CipollinaFan: Why is this in the sports tab?

/:)

It's cross-listed in Entertainment this time too, at least.


*sigh*
Not the answer I wanted.
 
2014-07-26 05:29:54 AM
i1182.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-26 05:43:01 AM
Solid B+ effort.  An A+ player would have apprehended both thieves.
 
2014-07-26 05:52:01 AM

bluorangefyre: BAH GAWD, KING, THAT MAN HAS A FAMILY TO PROTECT!

IT'S A FLYIN' GOAT STOPPING A BURGLAR MAGGLE!

/why didn't we have more JR/JBL pairings at the announce table?


Because JR was awesome, but JBL is suck distilled to its purest form, and the reason the terrorists hate us.
 
2014-07-26 06:18:49 AM

skeeterjennings: bluorangefyre: BAH GAWD, KING, THAT MAN HAS A FAMILY TO PROTECT!

IT'S A FLYIN' GOAT STOPPING A BURGLAR MAGGLE!

/why didn't we have more JR/JBL pairings at the announce table?

Because JR was awesome, but JBL is suck distilled to its purest form, and the reason the terrorists hate us.


JBL is responsible for one of my favorite announce calls ever, during a Sylvan match he says "he's French, he's Canadian, I double hate him Michael Cole." Laughed my ass off.
 
2014-07-26 06:46:35 AM
Did he really stop him or did the forearm shiver just temporarily stun him.
 
2014-07-26 07:14:07 AM
Stock Bella just naturally looks like a heel.
 
2014-07-26 07:21:26 AM

CipollinaFan: Why is this in the sports tab?

/:)


Because FARK YOU, that's why
 
2014-07-26 07:26:12 AM

skeeterjennings: bluorangefyre: BAH GAWD, KING, THAT MAN HAS A FAMILY TO PROTECT!

IT'S A FLYIN' GOAT STOPPING A BURGLAR MAGGLE!

/why didn't we have more JR/JBL pairings at the announce table?

Because JR was awesome, but JBL is suck distilled to its purest form, and the reason the terrorists hate us.


JBL made me stop watching SmackDown! when he was announcing.
 
2014-07-26 07:26:47 AM
Dude didn't even break kayfabe.
 
2014-07-26 07:47:04 AM
A spastic woman with an Australian accent is being sought for questioning.
 
2014-07-26 07:48:57 AM
I still will never understand why people break into houses. I'm super poor myself but the fact of taking something from somebody else is not kosher with me.

/npo?
//no? Sorry
 
2014-07-26 08:19:48 AM
Does anyone know the current state of DB's recovery and his return to wrestling?  I've looked for news and can't find it.  Is the recovery just taking a long time, or is his career pretty much done for because of his neck issues?
 
2014-07-26 08:29:40 AM

walrusonion: skeeterjennings: bluorangefyre: BAH GAWD, KING, THAT MAN HAS A FAMILY TO PROTECT!

IT'S A FLYIN' GOAT STOPPING A BURGLAR MAGGLE!

/why didn't we have more JR/JBL pairings at the announce table?

Because JR was awesome, but JBL is suck distilled to its purest form, and the reason the terrorists hate us.

JBL is responsible for one of my favorite announce calls ever, during a Sylvan match he says "he's French, he's Canadian, I double hate him MaggleMichael Cole." Laughed my ass off.


FTFY
 
2014-07-26 08:37:14 AM
Were the burglars from the Wyatt family?

Pretty impressive doing a choke hold when he's still recovering from neck surgery.
 
2014-07-26 09:14:54 AM

LeoffDaGrate: Does anyone know the current state of DB's recovery and his return to wrestling?  I've looked for news and can't find it.  Is the recovery just taking a long time, or is his career pretty much done for because of his neck issues?


He's going to need a second neck surgery, and most likely a shoulder surgery for a (semi-related) issue.  He'll be out for a long time, and there is serious doubt if he'll come back at all.
 
2014-07-26 09:31:41 AM
kurtanglebrand.com

"So he apprehended a burglar while he had nerve damage in his arm.  Big deal!  I helped the cops arrest a guy driving under the influence and I did it with a torn ACL AND broken freaking neck!  See?"

img1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-07-26 10:04:48 AM

The_Y2P_Problem: [kurtanglebrand.com image 295x354]

"So he apprehended a burglar while he had nerve damage in his arm.  Big deal!  I helped the cops arrest a guy driving under the influence and I did it with a torn ACL AND broken freaking neck!  See?"

[img1.wikia.nocookie.net image 437x378]


It's true, it's true!
 
2014-07-26 10:11:09 AM
I don't watch the homoerotic soap opera that is professional wrestling but Daniel Bryan is one class act.

Connor the Crusher
 
2014-07-26 11:09:47 AM
DANYULLLLLLLL


A ROBBER!!!!
 
2014-07-26 11:17:34 AM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: LeoffDaGrate: Does anyone know the current state of DB's recovery and his return to wrestling?  I've looked for news and can't find it.  Is the recovery just taking a long time, or is his career pretty much done for because of his neck issues?

He's going to need a second neck surgery, and most likely a shoulder surgery for a (semi-related) issue.  He'll be out for a long time, and there is serious doubt if he'll come back at all.


So basically he FINALLY got on top after being held back by Triple Gagne for whatever reason, only for karma to bite him in the ass like this?

i195.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-26 11:26:40 AM

Earthworm Jim Jones: I still will never understand why people break into houses. I'm super poor myself but the fact of taking something from somebody else is not kosher with me.

/npo?
//no? Sorry


It's really not hard to understand.

People leave valuable things in their houses.  They also leave their houses for long periods of time.  Most home security - like locking the door - does nothing to stop anyone from entering the home.  So, all they need to do is go into a house, take some stuff, and leave.  It's very easy work.  Ignoring travel time, most burglaries take less than 10 minutes.
http://www.safewise.com/you-got-robbed
http://homesecurity.lifetips.com//faq/139473/0/how-long-does-the-ave ra ge-burglar-spend-in-a-house/index.html

According to this:
http://www.statista.com/statistics/252455/average-value-of-property- st olen-during-burglaries-in-the-us-by-location/

Breaking into a residential house, they'll expect to walk out with something like $2,000 worth of goods.  Working in a pair - that $1k per person.  By the time they sell it/pawn it, they'll end up with $300-400.  That's tax free money though....at minimum wage it would take a week and a half of full-time work to make as much money as they can make, in a few hours.  10 minutes for the actual break in, but they still have to move the items and all that jazz.

And it's pretty safe.

http://www.urbachletter.com/Archive/Safety_1003_BurglaryPrevention.h tm
Less than 15% *EVER* get caught.  A lot of the ones that do, simply don't even bother trying to hide it.  They're well known to local law enforcement.

This is from the UK - but it's pretty similar in the US
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2224215/Half-burglars-sent-p ri son-12-convictions.html
Even when caught, the vast majority just walk out with a stern talking to.
<i>More than 3,000 convicted last year had been found guilty at least 20 times before.</i>

Crime pays really well, takes less work, and less know how.  It's hard to learn how to operate the register at McDonald's than to learn the very basics of breaking into someone's house.

Don't even get me started on bicycle theft.  You can spend 30 minutes watching YouTube videos and see how to trivially steal more bicycles than you could ever sell.  At least if you are in a major city.  Everywhere I look I see bicycles that aren't locked, or are locked incorrectly.  The odds of getting caught are about 0, and if you do get caught, it's a stern talking to and a small fine.
 
2014-07-26 11:28:27 AM
Why isn't this in the fwc tab?
 
2014-07-26 11:32:51 AM

Fark_Guy_Rob: Earthworm Jim Jones: I still will never understand why people break into houses. I'm super poor myself but the fact of taking something from somebody else is not kosher with me.

/npo?
//no? Sorry

It's really not hard to understand.

People leave valuable things in their houses.  They also leave their houses for long periods of time.  Most home security - like locking the door - does nothing to stop anyone from entering the home.  So, all they need to do is go into a house, take some stuff, and leave.  It's very easy work.  Ignoring travel time, most burglaries take less than 10 minutes.
http://www.safewise.com/you-got-robbed
http://homesecurity.lifetips.com//faq/139473/0/how-long-does-the-ave ra ge-burglar-spend-in-a-house/index.html

According to this:
http://www.statista.com/statistics/252455/average-value-of-property- st olen-during-burglaries-in-the-us-by-location/

Breaking into a residential house, they'll expect to walk out with something like $2,000 worth of goods.  Working in a pair - that $1k per person.  By the time they sell it/pawn it, they'll end up with $300-400.  That's tax free money though....at minimum wage it would take a week and a half of full-time work to make as much money as they can make, in a few hours.  10 minutes for the actual break in, but they still have to move the items and all that jazz.

And it's pretty safe.

http://www.urbachletter.com/Archive/Safety_1003_BurglaryPrevention.h tm
Less than 15% *EVER* get caught.  A lot of the ones that do, simply don't even bother trying to hide it.  They're well known to local law enforcement.

This is from the UK - but it's pretty similar in the US
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2224215/Half-burglars-sent-p ri son-12-convictions.html
Even when caught, the vast majority just walk out with a stern talking to.
<i>More than 3,000 convicted last year had been found guilty at least 20 times before.</i>

Crime pays really well, takes less work, and less know how.  It's hard to learn how to operate the register at McDonald's than to learn the very basics of breaking into someone's house.

Don't even get me started on bicycle theft.  You can spend 30 minutes watching YouTube videos and see how to trivially steal more bicycles than you could ever sell.  At least if you are in a major city.  Everywhere I look I see bicycles that aren't locked, or are locked incorrectly.  The odds of getting caught are about 0, and if you do get caught, it's a stern talking to and a small fine.


Stats are for losers, I don't believe them. My faith tells me that God will punish these criminals unless they repent for their sins. This kind of thing doesn't happen, I've never seen or have heard of a break in in my neighborhood. Those news articles are just another item on the liberal media agenda
 
2014-07-26 11:34:21 AM
Monday will reveal Stephanie was responsible.
 
2014-07-26 11:35:23 AM

bighairyguy: A spastic woman with an Australian accent is being sought for questioning.


Came here to make this joke. Glad to see it's been covered.
 
2014-07-26 11:36:19 AM

eddievercetti: Monday will reveal Stephanie was responsible.


She does have a recent arrest record, after all.
 
2014-07-26 12:05:08 PM

CipollinaFan: Why is this in the sports tab?

/:)


Because Stone Cold said so!
 
2014-07-26 12:18:41 PM

CipollinaFan: JohnAnnArbor: CipollinaFan: Why is this in the sports tab?

/:)

It's cross-listed in Entertainment this time too, at least.

*sigh*
Not the answer I wanted.


BECAUSE fark YOU, THAT'S WHY!!

/any better?
 
2014-07-26 12:21:13 PM

natural316: DANYULLLLLLLL


A ROBBER!!!!


You forgot "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
 
2014-07-26 12:23:07 PM

Supercampion: Fark_Guy_Rob: Earthworm Jim Jones: I still will never understand why people break into houses. I'm super poor myself but the fact of taking something from somebody else is not kosher with me.

/npo?
//no? Sorry

It's really not hard to understand.

People leave valuable things in their houses.  They also leave their houses for long periods of time.  Most home security - like locking the door - does nothing to stop anyone from entering the home.  So, all they need to do is go into a house, take some stuff, and leave.  It's very easy work.  Ignoring travel time, most burglaries take less than 10 minutes.
http://www.safewise.com/you-got-robbed
http://homesecurity.lifetips.com//faq/139473/0/how-long-does-the-ave ra ge-burglar-spend-in-a-house/index.html

According to this:
http://www.statista.com/statistics/252455/average-value-of-property- st olen-during-burglaries-in-the-us-by-location/

Breaking into a residential house, they'll expect to walk out with something like $2,000 worth of goods.  Working in a pair - that $1k per person.  By the time they sell it/pawn it, they'll end up with $300-400.  That's tax free money though....at minimum wage it would take a week and a half of full-time work to make as much money as they can make, in a few hours.  10 minutes for the actual break in, but they still have to move the items and all that jazz.

And it's pretty safe.

http://www.urbachletter.com/Archive/Safety_1003_BurglaryPrevention.h tm
Less than 15% *EVER* get caught.  A lot of the ones that do, simply don't even bother trying to hide it.  They're well known to local law enforcement.

This is from the UK - but it's pretty similar in the US
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2224215/Half-burglars-sent-p ri son-12-convictions.html
Even when caught, the vast majority just walk out with a stern talking to.
<i>More than 3,000 convicted last year had been found guilty at least 20 times before.</i>

Crime pays really well, takes less work, and less know how.   ...


Stats are for losers, I don't believe them. My faith tells me that God will punish these criminals unless they repent for their sins. This kind of thing doesn't happen, I've never seen or have heard of a break in in my neighborhood. Those news articles are just another item on the liberal media agenda

slowgolfclap.jpg
 
2014-07-26 12:37:03 PM

Supercampion: Those news articles are just another item on the liberal media agenda


img.fark.net
 
2014-07-26 12:37:51 PM
I hope that when the perp gets his day in court, someone stands up in the back and starts a YOU TAPPED OUT chant.  :D
 
2014-07-26 12:45:07 PM

my lip balm addiction: CipollinaFan: JohnAnnArbor: CipollinaFan: Why is this in the sports tab?

/:)

It's cross-listed in Entertainment this time too, at least.

*sigh*
Not the answer I wanted.

BECAUSE fark YOU, THAT'S WHY!!

/any better?


Much better.
 
2014-07-26 01:36:47 PM
and now he needs more surgery
 
2014-07-26 02:01:12 PM
In the end, everyone taps
 
2014-07-26 02:42:49 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: I hope that when the perp gets his day in court, someone stands up in the back and starts a YOU TAPPED OUT chant.  :D


Even better, the Judge starts it.
 
2014-07-26 03:12:24 PM
FROM DBD'S PRESS CONFERENCE--

- He said a doctor told him he will probably need that second surgery. Bryan said right now he's got about half the strength in his right arm as his left arm right now.

It really doesn't look good for his career.
 
2014-07-26 03:20:31 PM
It's what's BEST-ah for JUSTICE-ah!
 
2014-07-26 03:38:41 PM
As if I could not love DBD any more, just awesome. When he started tearing up talking about his dad's bracelet I about lost it. Really hope he can make it back next year or so. The industry needs more guys like him.

For old times sake...

i1263.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-26 03:41:52 PM
I hope no one cashes in the Money in the Bank briefcase during the trial
 
2014-07-26 03:44:38 PM

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: FROM DBD'S PRESS CONFERENCE--

- He said a doctor told him he will probably need that second surgery. Bryan said right now he's got about half the strength in his right arm as his left arm right now.

It really doesn't look good for his career.


No big loss. DBD wasn't that great in the ring. Great guy, but on a pure technical skill level, he's no Cena.

WWE will be better with out him. Punk too. Both over hyped, under skilled talent
 
2014-07-26 03:50:39 PM

Karate Explosion: Dumb-Ass-Monkey: FROM DBD'S PRESS CONFERENCE--

- He said a doctor told him he will probably need that second surgery. Bryan said right now he's got about half the strength in his right arm as his left arm right now.

It really doesn't look good for his career.

No big loss. DBD wasn't that great in the ring. Great guy, but on a pure technical skill level, he's no Cena.

WWE will be better with out him. Punk too. Both over hyped, under skilled talent


Thanks for reminding me to always check poster's name before hitting reply. Well done.

Awesome story. Get well soon Daniel, or you may not have a job to come back to!
 
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