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(Jezebel)   Newest trend in marriages? Beta testing. Thanks, millennials   (jezebel.com) divider line 94
    More: Interesting, beta testing  
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7687 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jul 2014 at 10:58 PM (38 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



94 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-07-25 08:03:24 PM  
Led by a team of trend researchers

Kill yourselves.
 
2014-07-25 08:32:29 PM  

Mugato: Led by a team of trend researchers

Kill yourselves.


This is what Pollsters are trying to call themselves now since opinion polls have become so discredited by the last election cycle.

Same bullshiat statistics, new branding.
 
2014-07-25 08:55:39 PM  
I've tested this one, and it looks functional.
31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-07-25 09:01:20 PM  
Is this when you rent the cow to see if the quality of the milk doesn't change?
 
2014-07-25 09:05:43 PM  

doyner: Is this when you rent the cow to see if the quality of the milk doesn't change?


But you have to knock up the cow to get the milk.
 
2014-07-25 09:19:42 PM  
So basically a bunch of old guys think up some weird or dumb ideas about marriage (entirely as a weird publicity thing for a marriage related drama television show they are trying to promote) and then go on to say "I bet millennials would dig this. Boy, those millennials are weird and dumb."
 
2014-07-25 09:32:17 PM  

Mr. Fuzzypaws: doyner: Is this when you rent the cow to see if the quality of the milk doesn't change?

But you have to knock up the cow to get the milk.


And?
 
2014-07-25 10:10:32 PM  
It's a good way to see if there are any bugs, but even if you uninstall the software your system remains infected. Also, it's kind of you're also installing every other computer that program has ever been on.
 
2014-07-25 10:33:05 PM  
The larger takeaway seems to be that in a changing world, millennials will be able to make decisions that are right for them with less stigma

And the Narcissism Epidemic rolls on.
 
2014-07-25 10:56:50 PM  

Son of Thunder: The larger takeaway seems to be that in a changing world, millennials will be able to make decisions that are right for them with less stigma

And the Narcissism Epidemic rolls on.


More like... they want just a taste of reality.

i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-25 11:00:29 PM  
"Beta Testing"? We called that "cohabitation" when I was young.


shiat, I'm STILL young!
 
2014-07-25 11:03:48 PM  
We rigorously craft our social media and online dating profiles to maximize our chances of getting a first date, and 'beta testing' is just an extension of us trying to strategize for future romantic success."

The world has become a William Gibson novel. Didn't think it would be so soon.
 
2014-07-25 11:04:07 PM  

To fools, a "new trend" is simply an old trend which comes around to those doomed to repeat history. See: "handfasting".

My wife and I handfasted - a year and a day, in which we lived as husband and wife prior to marriage.
 
2014-07-25 11:05:20 PM  

Mugato: Led by a team of trend researchers

Kill yourselves.


this
 
2014-07-25 11:05:24 PM  
Add in those designer babies, too! "Brave New World", here we come!
 
2014-07-25 11:05:38 PM  

TheOmni: So basically a bunch of old guys think up some weird or dumb ideas about marriage (entirely as a weird publicity thing for a marriage related drama television show they are trying to promote) and then go on to say "I bet millennials would dig this. Boy, those millennials are weird and dumb."



This. Living together is nothing new. My wife and I lived together for years before we got married. Lots of people do.

And I actually have a lot of hope for the Millennial generation. They don't really seem to be any more narcissistic than any other generation (seriously... BABY BOOMERS), and they do have some really positive attributes, like their high rate of civic volunteerism. I think they might just have a good handle on the challenges of our day. If they could start coming out to vote in droves there's actually a chance we could steer our country in the right direction, at long last.
 
2014-07-25 11:08:47 PM  
can i fork a marriage?
 
2014-07-25 11:08:56 PM  
FTA :

One of the arguments is that since millennials are used to having many options in every other area of their lives, why would marriage be any different?


For some reason that sentence fills me with a murderous rage.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that even in a divorce between termed millennials, the guys life is the one that will be ruined.
 
2014-07-25 11:09:20 PM  
How many release candidates does this entail?

/ relevant to my interests...
 
2014-07-25 11:10:02 PM  
Do I send bug reports to her?
 
2014-07-25 11:10:21 PM  

Michic: Add in those designer babies, too! "Brave New World", here we come!


It won't be long until the knockoff babies start showing up in the back of vans behind gas stations.
 
2014-07-25 11:10:21 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: Son of Thunder: The larger takeaway seems to be that in a changing world, millennials will be able to make decisions that are right for them with less stigma

And the Narcissism Epidemic rolls on.

More like... they want just a taste of reality.

[i.imgur.com image 450x349]


That dog just got finished licking it's balls and eating it's own shiat.
 
2014-07-25 11:11:57 PM  

Elzar: How many release candidates does this entail?

/ relevant to my interests...

Always 2
 
2014-07-25 11:16:50 PM  
In the olden days us onion-belters called such concepts "dating" and "engagement"
 
2014-07-25 11:16:54 PM  

uber humper: Michic: Add in those designer babies, too! "Brave New World", here we come!

It won't be long until the knockoff babies start showing up in the back of vans behind gas stations.



I can't put my finger on it, but something doesn't smell right with this one.
media.indiatimes.in
 
2014-07-25 11:18:23 PM  
Alpha testing is where only insiders evaluate the product.  Beta testing involves opening up the product to evaluation from a select group of outsiders.  Do you really want all your buddies to roll your wife and give you an evaluation report?
 
2014-07-25 11:18:40 PM  

Snarfangel: uber humper: Michic: Add in those designer babies, too! "Brave New World", here we come!

It won't be long until the knockoff babies start showing up in the back of vans behind gas stations.


I can't put my finger on it, but something doesn't smell right with this one.
[media.indiatimes.in image 540x380]


Chinese knockoff, alright.
 
2014-07-25 11:19:37 PM  
Source: Jezebel

c2.staticflickr.com
 
2014-07-25 11:22:45 PM  

baconbeard: Source: Jezebel

[c2.staticflickr.com image 250x272]


You can learn to get laid from reading Jezebel.  But you'll need lifehacker to learn to mcgyver an excape
 
2014-07-25 11:27:20 PM  
"It's not that they're entirely noncommittal, it's just that they're nimble and open to change."

just gonna let that pearl of wisdom sink in for a bit...
 
2014-07-25 11:36:12 PM  

baconbeard: Source: Jezebel


Jezebel has copied it from Time's article "The Beta Marriage: How Millennials Approach 'I Do'", but I don't know whether that makes it better or worse...
 
2014-07-25 11:40:13 PM  

TheOmni: So basically a bunch of old guys think up some weird or dumb ideas about marriage (entirely as a weird publicity thing for a marriage related drama television show they are trying to promote) and then go on to say "I bet millennials would dig this. Boy, those millennials are weird and dumb."


Indeed. These were the choices:
timedotcom.files.wordpress.com

Also, they were interested in the opinions of Millennials (which they defined as 18-34), so they surveyed 1000 people 18-49.

/seems legit.
 
2014-07-25 11:47:19 PM  

CruJones: In the olden days us onion-belters called such concepts "dating" and "engagement"


Don't forget "starter marriage".
 
2014-07-25 11:51:31 PM  

ELMiller: "Beta Testing"? We called that "cohabitation" when I was young.



We just called it "shacking up".
 
2014-07-25 11:51:32 PM  
The irony is that everyone that "writes" for Jezebel is destined to be forever alone and die in a room full of cats.
 
2014-07-25 11:51:53 PM  
Seems like a reasonable enough idea, basically a prenup with the amenable separation already built in.  Solves the issue of automatic guardianship of children needing marriage plus marriages being somewhat difficult to dissolve, too, which is nice.

Too bad that, given the source, this is complete bullshiat someone came up with on their lunch break before a surprise deadline.  A website that willfully misinterprets things for clicks, copying an article from a source that is so focused on the old-man-yells-at-cloud demographic that we still regularly get cover stories involving world war 2?  Yeah, no thanks, mate.
 
2014-07-25 11:57:21 PM  
drjekel_mrhyde:

That dog just got finished licking it's balls and eating it's own shiat.

And your mom is any different?
 
2014-07-25 11:59:54 PM  

syrynxx: Alpha testing is where only insiders evaluate the product.  Beta testing involves opening up the product to evaluation from a select group of outsiders.  Do you really want all your buddies to roll your wife and give you an evaluation report?


They did anyway, I might as well know what they thought.

Not really. Any woman who had other options wouldn't marry me.
 
2014-07-26 12:01:59 AM  

syrynxx: Alpha testing is where only insiders evaluate the product.  Beta testing involves opening up the product to evaluation from a select group of outsiders.  Do you really want all your buddies to roll your wife and give you an evaluation report?


I dunno... that sounds kind of hot... would she spit at me and snarl "you're not a man, are you? You're a pathetic little worm!!" as my buddies filled her to the brim?

/cuz that would be kind hot as well...
 
2014-07-26 12:11:01 AM  
The problem with beta testing is that the parasite you're about to marry knows it isn't quite yet "for keeps".
 
2014-07-26 12:15:37 AM  

Mugato: Led by a team of trend researchers

Kill yourselves.


Done in two.

I'll bring the bullets if someone else brings the guns.
 
2014-07-26 12:21:20 AM  
"Millenilials", please understand nobody gives a shiat what you do.
 
2014-07-26 12:25:05 AM  
Beta Testing let's her tell herself that she's married.
It lets him tell himself that he isn't.
 
2014-07-26 12:26:48 AM  

syrynxx: Alpha testing is where only insiders evaluate the product.  Beta testing involves opening up the product to evaluation from a select group of outsiders.  Do you really want all your buddies to roll your wife and give you an evaluation report?


pre-Alpha testing is combing her facebook for bikini shots and knocking a couple out to see if it is worth it to ask her out. Many relationships spend years in the pre-alpha stage, and a large percentage never leave this stage.
 
2014-07-26 12:37:38 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-07-26 12:42:08 AM  
See? Teh ghey marriage is destroying traditional marriage. Jerry Falwell warned you. But did you listen? Noooooo!
 
2014-07-26 12:46:39 AM  
This is totally a real thing, you guys
 
2014-07-26 12:49:57 AM  
"Eau, moy gawd, we urr like, betta tusting, like our marrij.  It is like, eau, so, trendeh.  We R like so teh cuting edge, or whutuver".  So, oh staplers of buzzwords to things not pertinent thereto - what are you when nobody is watching?
 
2014-07-26 12:51:59 AM  

brownie in motion: baconbeard: Source: Jezebel

Jezebel has copied it from Time's article "The Beta Marriage: How Millennials Approach 'I Do'", but I don't know whether that makes it better or worse...


It makes it Jezebel.
 
2014-07-26 12:53:31 AM  
Forty years ago my grandmother (an ex-flapper) asked my mother and father "are you sure you two don't want to just live together first and see if it works out?" They didn't, but it did. Same basic idea, only formalized.
 
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