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(National Catholic Reporter)   Caption this Cafeteria Catholic   (ncronline.org) divider line 36
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2479 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jul 2014 at 6:00 AM (8 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-25 01:51:33 PM
Original:
ncronline.org
 
2014-07-25 01:56:22 PM
"This is kosher, right?"

/now votable
 
2014-07-25 02:36:39 PM
"So the Pope goes off the reservation again, says something that the conservatives don't like, and I wanna say to him 'Lighten up Fra...' He's right behind me, isn't he?"
 
2014-07-25 02:46:19 PM
"See if you can guess what I am now..."
 
2014-07-25 03:24:12 PM
♫ Prove to us that you're divine... Change our water into wine... ♫
 
2014-07-25 07:46:48 PM
"Hey, ya Holiness, you'ze gonna eat dat?"
 
2014-07-25 08:52:38 PM
"Take your hat off and stay awhile."
 
2014-07-25 09:08:25 PM
Mr. Brown: Lemme tell you what 'Like a Virgin' is about. It's all about this cooze who's a regular fark machine, I'm talking morning, day, night, afternoon, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.

The Pope: How many dicks is that?

Mr. White: A lot.

Mr. Brown: Then one day she meets this John Holmes motherfarker and it's like, whoa baby, I mean this cat is like Charles Bronson in the 'Great Escape', he's digging tunnels. Now, she's gettin' the serious dick action and she's feeling something she ain't felt since forever. Pain. Pain.

Joe: Chew? Toby Chew?

Mr. Brown: It hurts her. It shouldn't hurt her, you know, her pussy should be Bubble Yum by now, but when this cat farks her it hurts. It hurts just like it did the first time. You see the pain is reminding a fark machine what it once was like to be a virgin. Hence, 'Like a Virgin'.
 
2014-07-25 09:40:22 PM
Didn't your mother ever teach you to take your hat off at the table?
 
2014-07-26 01:01:44 AM
www.fakephonetext.com
 
2014-07-26 02:43:03 AM
img.fark.net

They were too busy snickering at the pile of salt on the Pope's tray to notice his pimp hand about to excommunicate the smiles right off their faces.
 
2014-07-26 03:07:01 AM
Hey, Your Holiness, would you not eat the special again, or would you say it's a kippah?
 
2014-07-26 06:11:43 AM
"You gonna eat your tots?"
 
2014-07-26 06:21:09 AM
"Remember, don't fill up on The Lord's body or you won't have room for the rest of your meal."
 
2014-07-26 06:24:34 AM
www.peteykins.com
 
2014-07-26 06:47:58 AM
"He who smelt it, dealt it, Your Holiness..."
 
2014-07-26 07:01:38 AM
Don't let him pass you the wine or it will taste like blood.

\votable clicky box checked
 
2014-07-26 07:18:18 AM
(d'oh!)

"Who's that guy up there next to Larry?"
 
2014-07-26 07:21:28 AM
"Hey Bishop, do the thing with the knife."
 
2014-07-26 07:26:08 AM
And Andy asked the guard "do you want your son to go to Yale, or Harvard?", and then the guard actually shook his hand! I shiat you not. Suddenly It was MISTER Dufresne if you please.
 
2014-07-26 08:27:57 AM
"One of you will deny me, one of you will betray me, and one of you is BOGARTING THE KETCHUP."
 
2014-07-26 08:32:07 AM
it's embarrassing  when your father comes to lunch.
 
2014-07-26 09:27:59 AM
Of course, the guy closest to the camera had to bring his own meal. Look at what everyone else is eating, GOOD ENOUGH FOR A POPE! But this one guy has to be a picky eater.
 
2014-07-26 10:31:20 AM
Pardon me, do you have any Grey Pope-on?
 
2014-07-26 10:31:35 AM
Alla kazaam. Make this ham!
 
2014-07-26 10:46:13 AM
So, your Eminence, what are you in for?

I didn't do it!
 
2014-07-26 01:03:32 PM
You guys ... I can hear you.  First, that's a really old joke.  Second, I haven't shiat in the woods since I was a Boy Scout.
 
2014-07-26 01:08:24 PM
Good food, good meat, good God, let's eat!
 
2014-07-26 01:09:28 PM
What time does the show start?
 
2014-07-26 01:13:03 PM
FOOD FIGHT !!!!
 
2014-07-26 05:14:50 PM
Let's play "Spot the man who complained there was no fish on the menu". Yes, you may have three guesses.
 
2014-07-26 05:17:29 PM
We may all be dead but we died in the right company, eh?

But  I didn't have the Salmon mousse.

Oh, shut up Holy Father! It was probably a heart attack.
 
2014-07-26 05:21:00 PM
Laugh politely! His Holiness really loves that Soup Nazi joke!

He's old. He's from Argentina, the show's still on its first run there.
 
2014-07-26 05:27:04 PM
... so Our Lord says, "No wine for you! If I have to diet, everybody diets! Hear that, Judas? Stop stuffing your fat face or maybe they'll crucify you instead of me!" (polite laughter)

Of course that never happened, despite what the Muslims say. Trust me. Knowing this stuff is my bag.
 
2014-07-26 06:43:46 PM
"Rub a dub dub
Thanks for the grub.
Yea, God!"
 
2014-07-27 01:13:04 AM
Hey, Holy Father.  Look, I'm a zit!
 
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