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(BBC-US)   Hello police? We found a witch. May we burn her?   (bbc.com ) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Thames Valley Police, legendary creatures  
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7990 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jul 2014 at 9:58 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-25 09:01:09 AM  
"Possibly. Do you have a witch burning permit?"
 
2014-07-25 09:02:43 AM  
How do you know she's a witch?
 
2014-07-25 09:05:47 AM  

Pista: How do you know she's a witch?


She turned me into a newt!
 
2014-07-25 09:10:01 AM  
It depends, is she a good witch a bad witch or a sand witch.

If she's good have her give you some sparkle shoes, if she's bad you can light her up or preferably just water her (it will be less mess), if she is a sand witch some light paniniing is perfectly acceptable.
 
2014-07-25 09:18:18 AM  

brap: If she's good have her give you some sparkle shoes, if she's bad you can light her up or preferably just water her (it will be less mess)


Heh.   Margaret Hamilton watersports video!

You know, given Rule 34, I bet there is something like that out there.
 
2014-07-25 09:20:04 AM  
38.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-07-25 09:31:43 AM  

somedude210: Pista: How do you know she's a witch?

She turned me into a newt!


Weigh her against a duck
 
2014-07-25 09:48:02 AM  
That writer sure likes the word witchcraft.
 
2014-07-25 09:50:31 AM  

www.wearysloth.com

They put this carrot on her nose.

 
2014-07-25 10:03:14 AM  

somedude210: Pista: How do you know she's a witch?

She turned me into a newt!


You're not a newt.
 
2014-07-25 10:04:49 AM  

Sybarite: [38.media.tumblr.com image 493x640]


I require further evidence.
 
2014-07-25 10:05:33 AM  

notyoucoach: somedude210: Pista: How do you know she's a witch?

She turned me into a newt!

You're not a newt.


He got better.

This never gets old.
 
2014-07-25 10:05:51 AM  
Radio stations get some good ones, too. A few years ago, I got a series of calls from a woman who told me her cat was a prophet and telling her we were all going to perish in the blizzard of the century unless we all went to the store and stocked up on Pepsi. This woman wasn't a prankster, either.  She was just batshiat nuts.
 
2014-07-25 10:09:16 AM  
If the Coach handbag didn't match the shoes, then yes, she's a witch.

/carpet matching the drapes?
 
2014-07-25 10:09:29 AM  

Pista: How do you know she's a witch?


We deduced she is made of wood.
 
2014-07-25 10:14:40 AM  
I'm looking at the photo and I see the service is being led by Prof. Severus Snape.
 
2014-07-25 10:15:21 AM  
Was the white horse going east to west, or west to east?
img.fark.net
 
2014-07-25 10:15:39 AM  
'Christmas tree alien'


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-07-25 10:16:01 AM  

GibbyTheMole: Radio stations get some good ones, too. A few years ago, I got a series of calls from a woman who told me her cat was a prophet and telling her we were all going to perish in the blizzard of the century unless we all went to the store and stocked up on Pepsi. This woman wasn't a prankster, either.  She was just batshiat nuts.


Or a marketing intern for Pepsi.
 
2014-07-25 10:16:42 AM  

Notabunny: Pista: How do you know she's a witch?

We deduced she is made of wood.


Who are you who is so wise in the ways of science?
 
2014-07-25 10:17:54 AM  
Thought it might be a promo for Wasilla 911, but not on BBC.

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2014-07-25 10:19:40 AM  
Remooove the supports!!
 
2014-07-25 10:22:23 AM  

dittybopper: brap: If she's good have her give you some sparkle shoes, if she's bad you can light her up or preferably just water her (it will be less mess)

Heh.   Margaret Hamilton watersports video!

You know, given Rule 34, I bet there is something like that out there.


One of her "glamour" shots.  So hawt!!img.fark.net
 
2014-07-25 10:33:27 AM  
Does she weigh the same as this guy?

assets.bizjournals.com
 
2014-07-25 10:33:57 AM  

GibbyTheMole: Radio stations get some good ones, too. A few years ago, I got a series of calls from a woman who told me her cat was a prophet and telling her we were all going to perish in the blizzard of the century unless we all went to the store and stocked up on Pepsi. This woman wasn't a prankster, either.  She was just batshiat nuts.


As a clinician in the mental health community, it's posts like this that piss me off! This woman has obvious mental health issues, and you tar her with the epithet "batshiat nuts." Out of compassion and basic human deceny, from here on out, please use the proper term "guano psychosis."
 
2014-07-25 10:37:35 AM  
"Is she a good witch or a bad witch?"
 
2014-07-25 10:38:08 AM  
FTFA:Katy Jennison, who organises an Oxfordshire meeting group for pagans, witches "and other questers" said the witchcraft claims were unlikely.

Do they let paladins and theives join too or is it a healers and mage only thing?
 
2014-07-25 10:38:45 AM  
Very small rocks

/got nuthin
 
2014-07-25 10:39:04 AM  

FarkinSneakyBastage: Does she weigh the same as this guy?

[assets.bizjournals.com image 304x304]


& what also floats in water?
 
2014-07-25 10:42:20 AM  
build a bridge out of her!!
 
2014-07-25 10:45:58 AM  
That's what they want you to think!

When Witch Aliens actually invade the police will lock up the first witnessess rather than doing anything usefull.

Oh sure, why should they spend any money to prepare?
Just leave it to the guy with the magic phonebooth, and send him on his way when he's done.
 
2014-07-25 10:46:51 AM  
Mental health charity Sane said it was "absolutely essential" police communicate with mental health services in cases such as these.

Odd, in the USA we elect people like this to public office.
 
2014-07-25 10:49:44 AM  

somedude210: Pista: How do you know she's a witch?

She turned me into a newt!


You'll get better...
 
2014-07-25 10:53:30 AM  

zimbomba63: dittybopper: brap: If she's good have her give you some sparkle shoes, if she's bad you can light her up or preferably just water her (it will be less mess)

Heh.   Margaret Hamilton watersports video!

You know, given Rule 34, I bet there is something like that out there.

One of her "glamour" shots.  So hawt!![img.fark.net image 250x316]


Have you checked out amateur porn lately?  I've seen worse.
 
2014-07-25 10:53:33 AM  
Came to see this thread Pythoned into oblivion.  Leaving happy.
 
2014-07-25 10:58:12 AM  

somedude210: Pista: How do you know she's a witch?

She turned me into a newt!


Son of a biatch ...

www.newrepublic.com
 
2014-07-25 11:02:43 AM  
"It's a fair cop."

www.roundtree7.com
 
2014-07-25 11:08:55 AM  

Nadie_AZ: somedude210: Pista: How do you know she's a witch?

She turned me into a newt!

Son of a biatch ...

[www.newrepublic.com image 500x500]


Oh, well, in that case, you're doomed!!   there's no hope for you now...
 
2014-07-25 11:14:29 AM  

dittybopper: brap: If she's good have her give you some sparkle shoes, if she's bad you can light her up or preferably just water her (it will be less mess)

Heh.   Margaret Hamilton watersports video!

You know, given Rule 34, I bet there is something like that out there.



Maybe a Maxwell House enema?
 
2014-07-25 11:38:43 AM  

plushpuppy: somedude210: Pista: How do you know she's a witch?

She turned me into a newt!

Weigh her against a duck


You've got it all wrong. You have to build a bridge out of her.
 
2014-07-25 11:58:22 AM  
No need to burn this one.  She's already hot.  NSFW
 
2014-07-25 12:36:36 PM  

I'm an Egyptian!: GibbyTheMole: Radio stations get some good ones, too. A few years ago, I got a series of calls from a woman who told me her cat was a prophet and telling her we were all going to perish in the blizzard of the century unless we all went to the store and stocked up on Pepsi. This woman wasn't a prankster, either.  She was just batshiat nuts.

As a clinician in the mental health community, it's posts like this that piss me off! This woman has obvious mental health issues, and you tar her with the epithet "batshiat nuts." Out of compassion and basic human deceny, from here on out, please use the proper term "guano psychosis."


I thought it was "guano-loco."
 
2014-07-25 12:43:37 PM  
I'm an Egyptian!:

As a clinician in the mental health community, it's posts like this that piss me off! This woman has obvious mental health issues, and you tar her with the epithet "batshiat nuts." Out of compassion and basic human deceny, from here on out, please use the proper term "guano psychosis."

Oops... my bad.
 
2014-07-25 12:47:22 PM  
You can only burn the witch if she doesn't drown during the dunking test.  If she drowns, then you can't burn her because she's not a witch.
 
2014-07-25 01:23:40 PM  

bobothemagnificent: You can only burn the witch if she doesn't drown during the dunking test.  If she drowns, then you can't burn her because she's not a witch.


Also because she's probably very moist.

But if she was a bint, you might get a free scimitar.
 
2014-07-25 01:28:56 PM  

Raven Darke: I'm an Egyptian!: GibbyTheMole: Radio stations get some good ones, too. A few years ago, I got a series of calls from a woman who told me her cat was a prophet and telling her we were all going to perish in the blizzard of the century unless we all went to the store and stocked up on Pepsi. This woman wasn't a prankster, either.  She was just batshiat nuts.

As a clinician in the mental health community, it's posts like this that piss me off! This woman has obvious mental health issues, and you tar her with the epithet "batshiat nuts." Out of compassion and basic human deceny, from here on out, please use the proper term "guano psychosis."

I thought it was "guano-loco."


Come on baby, do the guano-loco....
 
2014-07-25 02:48:15 PM  
An envelope with witchcraft symbols on it, for instance, even if they actually are Wiccan or witchcraft symbols, is no more dangerous or threatening than an envelope with Christian symbols or Jewish symbols on it.

Now, that all depends.  Part of what I do, very seldom, but do still practice are sigils.  Takes the belief of the person forming the sigil (no cheating out of books of sigils, they are all unique and should be customized to the situation, but can share certain elements of "standard" sigils IMHO) as well as belief from the person it's being given to.  Gave one to a friend who had a haunted office, she put them right where I told her and the nonsense stopped (things being moved around, voices) But, if you don't believe one bit, it's just marks on paper no matter how well done.  No belief-no workie. Simple.

/now going back to RTFT
 
2014-07-25 03:01:09 PM  
Jeez, here I made a semi-serious post and we're talking about ducks and such here.  My bad.  I weigh more than a duck so I'm screwed, right?  Or do I have it backwards?  Anyway, it's silly that people complain about this kind of stuff and does show signs of various mental illnesses. Witches have much better things to do with their time, such as working in the cube next to you, riding the bus sitting next to you and shopping at the same grocery store as you.  Oooh, scary.  I don't take time to do much in the way of ceremonies these days, I have a family to take care of and I'm too busy doing the aforementioned activities and chores.  The people who complained in that article might want to keep that in mind.  As in the far above pic posted, "Witches are people too!" and quite honestly, our lives are just as hectic as everyone else's.  Paranoid people must have more time on their hands, or something. It's just stupid to complain.
 
2014-07-25 03:34:44 PM  
A force report was carried out on a Berkshire woman who claimed her Christmas tree was "writhing" and that "there was an alien climbing around in it".

I have this problem each and every December. Of course, it's usually my cat climbing around in it, not an alien. Unless it was an alien pretending to be my cat...
 
2014-07-25 07:22:57 PM  
They are now trying to build a bridge out of her...
 
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