Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(USA Today)   In a move that will undoubtably scare away movie-goers, Puritan group denounces "50 Shades of Grey" trailer   ( entertainthis.usatoday.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Christian Grey  
•       •       •

858 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 24 Jul 2014 at 10:19 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



61 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2014-07-24 08:21:51 PM  
Good heavens.  Seventeenth-century English Calvinists managed to predict Fifty Shades of Grey?
 
2014-07-24 08:23:24 PM  

Son of Thunder: Good heavens.  Seventeenth-century English Calvinists managed to predict Fifty Shades of Grey?


WITCHES!!! BURN THEM!!!!!!
 
2014-07-24 08:30:01 PM  
Saw the trailer. Never read the book. From the trailer it just seems like The Thomas Crown Affair with extra sexy time
 
2014-07-24 08:38:54 PM  
The irony being that if Puritanism didn't exist that craptacularly inept attempt at eroticism would have sold two copies at the most.
 
2014-07-24 08:39:55 PM  
So fifty people can get shot to death in a trailer for a PG-13 movie and that sounds about right but this....

Well anyway, I know what movie I'm going to to pick up lonely housewives. Giggity.
 
2014-07-24 09:58:17 PM  
CSB:

During the 2012 NFL season, the local morning sports talk show in Seattle had a contest where women would call in and leave voice mails where they read excerpts from "50 Shades of Grey"....the winner would receive two tickets to the Patriots @ Seahawks game.

/Felt the need to smoke a cigarette after listening to those voice mails.
//Giggity.
 
2014-07-24 10:25:02 PM  
I feel bad for the poor kid who is going to have to mop up after each screening.

Gonna be like a porn shop nudie booth.
 
2014-07-24 10:26:28 PM  
I've always found the Index Librorum Prohibitorum  a sure sign of quality reading.

Still can't make me look forward to this movie.
 
2014-07-24 10:27:31 PM  
so are women still in denial, or are they finally admitting it's porn?
 
2014-07-24 10:28:06 PM  
i291.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-24 10:33:28 PM  
Nipple pinchy.
 
2014-07-24 10:51:26 PM  

Hobo Jr.: I feel bad for the poor kid who is going to have to mop up after each screening.

Gonna be like a porn shop nudie booth.


They'll be using wet/dry shop vacs.
 
2014-07-24 11:06:54 PM  
imgcover-1.hotmovies.com
imgcover-0.hotmovies.com

What happened, Puritan? You used to be cool...
 
2014-07-24 11:10:34 PM  
I saw the trailer before I saw "Lucy" I wanted to shout it's twighlight fanfictionbut I decided not to, because my wife might have punched me for embarrassing her
 
2014-07-24 11:16:36 PM  

loonatic112358: I saw the trailer before I saw "Lucy" I wanted to shout it's twighlight fanfictionbut I decided not to, because my wife might have punched me for embarrassing her


did you misspell fingering?
 
2014-07-24 11:25:22 PM  
What no one mentions that it is mommy porn?

Obscure?
 
2014-07-24 11:33:03 PM  
I haven't read the book, but I just watched the trailer on imdb since tfa wouldn't load.  What does this have to do with Twilight?  I've read on fark that it is Twilight fanfic, but is the only connection that it's a mousy, insecure girl who gets seduced by a guy who's supposedly out of her league?

I don't get the big deal about this.  It doesn't even look sexy or racy for that matter.
 
2014-07-24 11:41:47 PM  
I rolled my eyes so hard at the trailer that I'm pretty sure I saw the part of my brain that controls hate-sighs firing.
 
2014-07-24 11:43:41 PM  

PillsHere: I haven't read the book, but I just watched the trailer on imdb since tfa wouldn't load.  What does this have to do with Twilight?  I've read on fark that it is Twilight fanfic, but is the only connection that it's a mousy, insecure girl who gets seduced by a guy who's supposedly out of her league?



Both of them take place in the Pacific Northwest.

And as much as I loathe Twilight, at least it brought a bunch of twitards to travel all the way to Forks, WA and help the local economy.
 
2014-07-24 11:58:02 PM  
Ok, so the premise is basically that he's a filthy rich, extremely handsome and charismatic guy, who inexplicably hooks up with an insecure girl fresh out of college who is of average looks and has no personality of her own? Is this going to turn into the manic pixie dream girl, but for women? The sexually adventurous, filthy rich, handsome broody guy who has a fetish for meh women? It's shiat like this that makes me lose a lot of respect for women. It's as bad as those Taylor Swift videos where she plays the "nerdy geeky girl" who takes off her glasses, lets her hair down and magically becomes super hot. It's as stupid as the insanely hot goth/punk chick falling for the asshole nerd guy who obsesses over cheerleaders.

Then again, if people are dumb enough to pay for this bullshiat, then they deserve to have their money taken from them.
 
2014-07-25 12:13:41 AM  

stoli n coke: so are women still in denial, or are they finally admitting it's porn?


It doesn't even look like good porn.
 
2014-07-25 12:30:39 AM  

PillsHere: I haven't read the book, but I just watched the trailer on imdb since tfa wouldn't load.  What does this have to do with Twilight?  I've read on fark that it is Twilight fanfic, but is the only connection that it's a mousy, insecure girl who gets seduced by a guy who's supposedly out of her league?

I don't get the big deal about this.  It doesn't even look sexy or racy for that matter.


She's also super clumsy like Bella, he saves her from getting hit by a bike just line Edward saved Bella from getting hit by a car, he stalks her constantly, there's a love triangle. It's putting me to sleep just talking about it.

In other words, it's an alternate universe Twilight where Edward is rich and successful and Bella is old enough to drink but continues to not have a personality and the plot remains the same. But since it's not written as a Mormon morality tale there's lots of boning.
 
2014-07-25 01:01:42 AM  

PillsHere: I haven't read the book, but I just watched the trailer on imdb since tfa wouldn't load.  What does this have to do with Twilight?  I've read on fark that it is Twilight fanfic, but is the only connection that it's a mousy, insecure girl who gets seduced by a guy who's supposedly out of her league?

I don't get the big deal about this.  It doesn't even look sexy or racy for that matter.


From Wikipedia:

Fifty Shades of Grey has attracted criticism due to its origin as a fan fiction based on the Twilight novels, with some readers predicting copyright issues due to this connection. Amanda Hayward of The Writer's Coffee Shop responded to these claims by stating that Fifty Shades of Grey "bore very little resemblance to Twilight" and that "Twilight and Fifty Shades trilogy are worlds apart". In April 2012, E. L. James was listed as one of Time magazine's "100 Most Influential People in the World", with Richard Lawson of The Atlantic Wire criticising her inclusion due to the trilogy's fan fiction beginnings.
 
2014-07-25 01:40:32 AM  
media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com
 
2014-07-25 01:40:49 AM  

Cheater71: Amanda Hayward of The Writer's Coffee Shop responded to these claims by stating that Fifty Shades of Grey "bore very little resemblance to Twilight" and that "Twilight and Fifty Shades trilogy are worlds apart".


What's even more amazeballs, the U.S. Supreme Court cited and upheld Hayward's lower-court opinion.

/subby
//sorry
///not really because had sex got a green
 
2014-07-25 01:42:32 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: [media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com image 461x461]



Lulz.

Q:  What do gay horses eat?

A:  Haaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy.
 
2014-07-25 01:43:10 AM  
No matter how bad it is, it certainly could have been worse:

i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-25 01:46:14 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: No matter how bad it is, it certainly could have been worse:

[i.imgur.com image 500x500]



So why is Miranda Cosgrove that bad?

/Had to look her up.
//Only thing I've seen her in was "School of Rock".
 
2014-07-25 01:48:16 AM  

obamadidcoke: Wait?

This is a thing?

I thought the whole movie was just an internet joke. They actually made a movie based on bad fan fiction based on a teen fiction vamp drama?

Wow


My girlfriend thought the whole movie thing was a joke too. I sadly had to let her know that it wasn't and that I have had to spend the last year or so (whenever it got first announced) of my co-worker talking about it and being so excited to see it.

I actually did read the first book because it was given to me for free... Ugh. The writing was super horrible. I got through Twilight a lot faster than I did Fifty Shades.

/did like Twilight at the beginning
//read all four books (fourth book creeped me out, especially with the whole child vampire/wolf imprint crap)
///first movie was godawful and won't watch the rest of them
////slashies
 
2014-07-25 02:11:43 AM  
 
2014-07-25 03:19:31 AM  
i0.wp.com
 
2014-07-25 05:13:52 AM  
mediastudiesisshit.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-07-25 05:24:02 AM  
How much buttplug action do you think they will show in the movie?   My wife wants to go see this but I won't go unless there is lots of BPA.
 
2014-07-25 05:29:28 AM  

The Googles Do Nothing: How much buttplug action do you think they will show in the movie?   My wife wants to go see this but I won't go unless there is lots of BPA.


ic.tweakimg.net

I'd be careful what you wish for. They might be showing it in "Feel-Around".
 
2014-07-25 08:16:39 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: The Googles Do Nothing: How much buttplug action do you think they will show in the movie?   My wife wants to go see this but I won't go unless there is lots of BPA.

[ic.tweakimg.net image 467x200]

I'd be careful what you wish for. They might be showing it in "Feel-Around".


+1


you are a treasure to mankind
 
2014-07-25 08:30:30 AM  
I'm still recovering from the severe ass-fatigue I contracted from sitting through "9 1/2 Weeks," so I think I'll pass on this one.

There are fewer things in life more boring than someone else's "hot" sexual fantasies.
 
2014-07-25 08:40:16 AM  

markfara: I'm still recovering from the severe ass-fatigue I contracted from sitting through "9 1/2 Weeks," so I think I'll pass on this one.

There are fewer things in life more boring than someone else's "hot" sexual fantasies.


It wore out your ass? I would say you are doing it wrong, but I don't want to judge.
 
2014-07-25 08:41:52 AM  

markfara: I'm still recovering from the severe ass-fatigue I contracted from sitting through "9 1/2 Weeks," so I think I'll pass on this one.

There are fewer things in life more boring than someone else's "hot" sexual fantasies.


Mine certainly aren't boring, but I doubt anyone else would find them "hot". A lot of them involve "conflict zones".
 
2014-07-25 08:43:26 AM  

GameSprocket: markfara: I'm still recovering from the severe ass-fatigue I contracted from sitting through "9 1/2 Weeks," so I think I'll pass on this one.

There are fewer things in life more boring than someone else's "hot" sexual fantasies.

It wore out your ass? I would say you are doing it wrong, but I don't want to judge.


Heh. I wondered after I posted what my choice of words was going to inspire.

Leading with the chin (or something), I guess. ;-)
 
2014-07-25 09:17:16 AM  

grinding_journalist: markfara: I'm still recovering from the severe ass-fatigue I contracted from sitting through "9 1/2 Weeks," so I think I'll pass on this one.

There are fewer things in life more boring than someone else's "hot" sexual fantasies.

Mine certainly aren't boring, but I doubt anyone else would find them "hot". A lot of them involve "conflict zones".


Middle-Eastern themed, you mean?

Seriously, I'm clueless here.
 
2014-07-25 09:31:54 AM  
Funny quotation from the BBC radio show "The News Quiz": ""fifty shades of grey is the colour of my lingerie" (or something like that).
 
2014-07-25 09:36:09 AM  

ukexpat: Funny quotation from the BBC radio show "The News Quiz": ""fifty shades of grey is the colour of my lingerie" (or something like that).


That explains the Tide promotion tie-ins I noticed at the grocery store the other day.
 
2014-07-25 09:37:56 AM  

markfara: grinding_journalist: markfara: I'm still recovering from the severe ass-fatigue I contracted from sitting through "9 1/2 Weeks," so I think I'll pass on this one.

There are fewer things in life more boring than someone else's "hot" sexual fantasies.

Mine certainly aren't boring, but I doubt anyone else would find them "hot". A lot of them involve "conflict zones".

Middle-Eastern themed, you mean?

Seriously, I'm clueless here.


Nah, as in, warzones/combat areas/"wetwork". Not geographically specific, they're all over the place. I mean, you're not going to encounter a Vietnamese woman while stalking through the steamy jungles of Guatemala with a headhunting mercenary group with the stated-but-secret goal of bringing back the tongues of a dozen cartel capos to "send a message" from the US government.

You can do some Geographic tweaking if the "plot" makes sense, like rescuing a 19-year old German college student/"journalist" from what was moments ago a peaceful (name country here) market scene but has now been the subject of (type of attack).

They're dirty, but not in the conventional sense of the term relating to sexual fantasies.
 
2014-07-25 09:49:36 AM  

grinding_journalist: markfara: grinding_journalist: markfara: I'm still recovering from the severe ass-fatigue I contracted from sitting through "9 1/2 Weeks," so I think I'll pass on this one.

There are fewer things in life more boring than someone else's "hot" sexual fantasies.

Mine certainly aren't boring, but I doubt anyone else would find them "hot". A lot of them involve "conflict zones".

Middle-Eastern themed, you mean?

Seriously, I'm clueless here.

Nah, as in, warzones/combat areas/"wetwork". Not geographically specific, they're all over the place. I mean, you're not going to encounter a Vietnamese woman while stalking through the steamy jungles of Guatemala with a headhunting mercenary group with the stated-but-secret goal of bringing back the tongues of a dozen cartel capos to "send a message" from the US government.

You can do some Geographic tweaking if the "plot" makes sense, like rescuing a 19-year old German college student/"journalist" from what was moments ago a peaceful (name country here) market scene but has now been the subject of (type of attack).

They're dirty, but not in the conventional sense of the term relating to sexual fantasies.


OK. Thanks for explaining that.

Mine in general are way more pedestrian than that, but I can't say yours aren't somewhat intriguing. Off to my bunk, now. :-)
 
2014-07-25 09:59:20 AM  

rynthetyn: PillsHere: I haven't read the book, but I just watched the trailer on imdb since tfa wouldn't load.  What does this have to do with Twilight?  I've read on fark that it is Twilight fanfic, but is the only connection that it's a mousy, insecure girl who gets seduced by a guy who's supposedly out of her league?

I don't get the big deal about this.  It doesn't even look sexy or racy for that matter.

She's also super clumsy like Bella, he saves her from getting hit by a bike just line Edward saved Bella from getting hit by a car, he stalks her constantly, there's a love triangle. It's putting me to sleep just talking about it.

In other words, it's an alternate universe Twilight where Edward is rich and successful and Bella is old enough to drink but continues to not have a personality and the plot remains the same. But since it's not written as a Mormon morality tale there's lots of boning.


This sums up the similarity pretty well.

Read it as a lark for a book club I used to be in:  The writing is unbelievably bad.  It's a literary Showgirls.  I can't fathom how cringe inducing the film is going to be...and I have no plans to find out.  (If it gets over 20% on Rotten Tomatoes, I'll eat rare steak.)
 
2014-07-25 10:30:34 AM  
Dear women, your porn sucks.
 
2014-07-25 11:09:34 AM  

Mad_Radhu: [i0.wp.com image 545x106]


That one is getting saved and overused by me. Pronto.
 
2014-07-25 11:11:36 AM  
I have fapped to less and worse.

WHen it shows up on On Demand™ I'll watch the pertinent 15 to 20 minutes of it.
 
2014-07-25 11:15:41 AM  
I find it amusing that there are main stream movies out there far more sexual in nature (I used to collect them) than this one will be yet these people chose to protest this one. People are stupid.
 
2014-07-25 11:20:17 AM  

Profedius: I find it amusing that there are main stream movies out there far more sexual in nature (I used to collect them) than this one will be yet these people chose to protest this one. People are stupid.


When "Showgirls" hit the theaters, our local mom group picketed. Their spokesmom was on the news b*tching about family theaters showing "hard-core porn."
 
Displayed 50 of 61 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report