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(NPR)   Good news, fatties: There's a newly discovered virus that you can blame your obesity and diabetes on. And it's even got "ass" in its name   (npr.org) divider line 116
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6840 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jul 2014 at 6:56 PM (8 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-24 03:34:07 PM
This would solve a lot of the errors Medicine has been making for about 90 years.
 
2014-07-24 03:37:05 PM
Because nothing about the human body is complicated and influenced by a multitude of factors, right, subby? Obesity is 100% determined by the moral inferiority of others.
 
2014-07-24 03:50:02 PM
I'm not fat, or big boned, I'm crAssphagic.
 
2014-07-24 04:09:37 PM
Nonsense, we need to double down on the old derp that has profited us for so long.

It is your "metabolism". Eat less, run more. Consume. Obey.
 
2014-07-24 04:14:37 PM
How can anything trump simple physics? You can only be as fat as what you put in your pie hole and don't burn off.
 
2014-07-24 04:18:34 PM

snocone: Eat less, run more. Consume. Obey.


That doesn't make any sense.
 
2014-07-24 04:23:26 PM
This is exactly why I went paleo/caveman and started doing CrossFit. Years of eating industrialized agriculture and HCFS has made our stomachs develop in a way that was never intended. A macronutrient like bread is literally undigestible by the human body and gives you what dianeticians call "wheat belly." These viruses are likely a symptom of this.

Ever since I completely removed carbs from my diet and started ricing cauliflower, I've felt great. It's really given me the focus I need to hack squat on my rage cube.
 
2014-07-24 05:06:14 PM
Diet and lifestyle are  key factors in 90% of all health issues but most people will not take responsibility for their own health. No patience with this.
 
2014-07-24 06:57:51 PM
what is the point of commenting on anything on Fark. The odds of anyone responding are like 0.^A%.... and the odds of discussion are even less. Good luck, farkers.

This is why I hardly ever comment on here.
 
2014-07-24 06:58:51 PM

vodka: what is the point of commenting on anything on Fark. The odds of anyone responding are like 0.^A%.... and the odds of discussion are even less. Good luck, farkers.

This is why I hardly ever comment on here.


It's  vodak, dumbass.
 
2014-07-24 07:02:13 PM

sigdiamond2000: This is exactly why I went paleo/caveman and started doing CrossFit. Years of eating industrialized agriculture and HCFS has made our stomachs develop in a way that was never intended. A macronutrient like bread is literally undigestible by the human body and gives you what dianeticians call "wheat belly." These viruses are likely a symptom of this.

Ever since I completely removed carbs from my diet and started ricing cauliflower, I've felt great. It's really given me the focus I need to hack squat on my rage cube.


8/10, had me for a couple of sentences.
 
2014-07-24 07:05:35 PM
Bacteroides is a funky looking word. How is it pronounced?

bak-tur-oydz ?   bak-teer-oh-eye'dz ?

Can you destroy them with a little flying triangle that shoots antigens? Pewpewpew
 
2014-07-24 07:08:02 PM
Words hurt subby.

Get inside me bonbons, you never say anything mean.
 
2014-07-24 07:15:09 PM

sigdiamond2000: This is exactly why I went paleo/caveman and started doing CrossFit. Years of eating industrialized agriculture and HCFS has made our stomachs develop in a way that was never intended. A macronutrient like bread is literally undigestible by the human body and gives you what dianeticians call "wheat belly." These viruses are likely a symptom of this.

Ever since I completely removed carbs from my diet and started ricing cauliflower, I've felt great. It's really given me the focus I need to hack squat on my rage cube.


Man, I can't tell you how many times I've seen it start like this.  First you start with ricing cauliflower, then you have to move on to harder vegetables just to get that kick, and you find yourself powergrinding rutabagas or mainlining turnips.  Eventually you hit rock bottom; nothing else matters except that sweet, sweet high, and you're giving blow jobs for brussels sprouts just to get your fix.

It's a downward spiral, man.
 
2014-07-24 07:16:29 PM
This still makes me doubtful that 90% of the fat asses out there are fat because of this.
 
2014-07-24 07:18:35 PM
Diabeetass.
 
2014-07-24 07:19:21 PM

vodka: what is the point of commenting on anything on Fark. The odds of anyone responding are like 0.^A%....


Hey, there's letters and symbols in your numbers.
 
2014-07-24 07:20:52 PM
Lardass
 
2014-07-24 07:27:19 PM

Mugato: How can anything trump simple physics? You can only be as fat as what you put in your pie hole and don't burn off.


The burn rate matters.  Apparently if your gut biome is incorrectly set up you can end up with the metabolic equivalent of Rolling Coal.
 
2014-07-24 07:29:46 PM
I realized a short time ago I was chubby. Thankfully my step mom was straight with me when I asked her. I am eating right and I can already tell the difference. I used to eat like crap and that's why I gained weight. Every day I had Mexican food, burgers, and fries or onion rings. I ate giant portions too. I have started to exercise a bit but I just broke my foot yesterday so I can't do that for a bit. My point is it was my fault. Yes my metabolism slowed down which is genetic, but it was mostly the crap I have been eating and no exercise.
 
2014-07-24 07:39:43 PM
I KNEW IT ALL ALONG!

I knew I couldn't be fat just because I'm lazy and I eat a lot.
 
2014-07-24 07:40:40 PM

TinyFist: It's  vodak, dumbass.


I can't believe how stupid I have been. Thank you, I will correct my ways.
 
2014-07-24 07:42:02 PM
"But we think the virus is likely found worldwide," he tells Goats and Soda. "

Where did the Goats and Soda come from? I missed something I think.
 
2014-07-24 07:43:11 PM
FTA: But during all this discussion of microbiomes, there have been billions of tiny elephants in the room: viruses.

Billions of tiny elephants is my new band name. Just so you know.
 
2014-07-24 07:44:55 PM

Grumpy Cat: FTA: But during all this discussion of microbiomes, there have been billions of tiny elephants in the room: viruses.

Billions of tiny elephants is my new band name. Just so you know.


Ok but I got dibs on Goats n' Soda.
 
2014-07-24 07:45:27 PM

Mugato: snocone: Eat less, run more. Consume. Obey.

That doesn't make any sense.


It is snark of the bullzhit foisted off as wisdom for the past few decades.
 
2014-07-24 07:46:35 PM

give me doughnuts: I KNEW IT ALL ALONG!

I knew I couldn't be fat just because I'm lazy and I eat a lot.


So what did being correct again gain you?
 
2014-07-24 07:46:58 PM
Don't give me a friggin' reason.  I've drank a lot for a long time to achieve this physique and NOBODY is taking responsibility for that but ME.

Farking doctors.  Pansies.
 
2014-07-24 07:49:02 PM

snocone: It is snark of the bullzhit foisted off as wisdom for the past few decades.


Eat less and run more is bad advice for someone trying to lose weight? And blame it on a virus is wise? And doesn't eat less go against consume? It's just a little confusing is all.
 
2014-07-24 07:51:44 PM
www.conservativecartoons.com
 
2014-07-24 07:51:55 PM

4seasons85!: I realized a short time ago I was chubby. Thankfully my step mom was straight with me when I asked her. I am eating right and I can already tell the difference. I used to eat like crap and that's why I gained weight. Every day I had Mexican food, burgers, and fries or onion rings. I ate giant portions too. I have started to exercise a bit but I just broke my foot yesterday so I can't do that for a bit. My point is it was my fault. Yes my metabolism slowed down which is genetic, but it was mostly the crap I have been eating and no exercise.


Sit in a chair, and punch the air. -Do that for half an hour really fast. Don't let a broken foot stop you from exercising. Just exercise something else.
 
2014-07-24 07:52:52 PM

Maggie_Luna: This still makes me doubtful that 90% of the fat asses out there are fat because of this.


Target population is not those with another metabolic/immune/hormonal disorder, there are many.
Many people start life just swell and then a switch flips. This point has progressed younger and younger in USA past 30 years or so.
Before that, often seemed to occur in teenage years.
And before that, when middle age changed the landscape.
In a nutshell, 'Tain't easy, McGee.
Only thing for certain here and now is that mainstream Medicine has not stumbled on a guess that is workable. So far.
 
2014-07-24 07:52:54 PM
i1.wp.com
 
2014-07-24 07:53:56 PM

Mugato: snocone: It is snark of the bullzhit foisted off as wisdom for the past few decades.

Eat less and run more is bad advice for someone trying to lose weight? And blame it on a virus is wise? And doesn't eat less go against consume? It's just a little confusing is all.



It is snark of the bullzhit foisted off as wisdom for the past few decades. deja vu
 
2014-07-24 07:54:44 PM
I thought I was fat because of beer. Who knew?
 
2014-07-24 07:55:31 PM

Mugato: How can anything trump simple physics? You can only be as fat as what you put in your pie hole and don't burn off.


Mostly because the physics aren't simple. If the fat-burning reaction doesn't start for whatever reason, you've got a problem.
 
2014-07-24 07:56:33 PM
If we put this virus in a car will it go from 160 to 300mpg, or will you just get a 300% larger trunk?

Can we isolate the virus and give it to all the kids in Somalia/Ethiopia/etc., allowing them to grow to normal weight with just a few grains of rice a day?
 
2014-07-24 08:00:53 PM

Gig103: I'm not fat, or big boned, I'm crAssphagic.


I just tell them i'm short for my weight.
 
2014-07-24 08:01:32 PM

snocone: give me doughnuts: I KNEW IT ALL ALONG!

I knew I couldn't be fat just because I'm lazy and I eat a lot.

So what did being correct again gain you?


I rewarded myself with a stack of Oreos.

Yay me!
 
2014-07-24 08:02:47 PM
"The "phage" part, Edwards says, comes from the name of viruses that infect bacteria - the so-called bacteriophages. And the first part, "crAss," comes from the computation tool, CrossAssembly."

Yeah, right.  You know they pulled that name out of their ass.
 
2014-07-24 08:04:49 PM

snocone: give me doughnuts: I KNEW IT ALL ALONG!

I knew I couldn't be fat just because I'm lazy and I eat a lot.

So what did being correct again gain you?


More than a couple pounds it sounds like.

I went from being "active" but stress eating to sedentary but with restricted access to food. I have been dropping 20 lbs a year for three years now. My muscle tone has melted away but I'm able to find clothes to wear at Walmart now. Almost don't need extended sizes anymore.

Main difference is not being able to go through a drive through several times a day for a Blizzard or a Reeces Pieces sundae on my way to and from seeing clients. Big rigs don't do so well in drive throughs.
 
2014-07-24 08:06:56 PM

Bonzo_1116: Mugato: How can anything trump simple physics? You can only be as fat as what you put in your pie hole and don't burn off.

The burn rate matters.  Apparently if your gut biome is incorrectly set up you can end up with the metabolic equivalent of Rolling Coal.


Around here, we call that 50 cent taco night at Taco John's.

And yeah, if your gut bugs are farked up, you'll have problems. Butt problems.

Also, auto-immune issues, nutrient deficiencies, and all sorts of other stuff that usually happens to celiac patients.
 
2014-07-24 08:07:02 PM

Branniganslaw: Gig103: I'm not fat, or big boned, I'm crAssphagic.

I just tell them i'm short for my weight.


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-07-24 08:12:33 PM

toraque: blow jobs for brussels sprouts


Great band name
 
2014-07-24 08:25:45 PM

Danger Avoid Death: Branniganslaw: Gig103: I'm not fat, or big boned, I'm crAssphagic.

I just tell them i'm short for my weight.


WTF doc, I told you no filming the exams anymore
 
2014-07-24 08:37:06 PM

Mugato: How can anything trump simple physics? You can only be as fat as what you put in your pie hole and don't burn off.


While what you say is true, it is not helpful. Both those variables are essentially impossible for the average person to measure, and they both depend on complex and interacting factors that we are only just starting to understand. Understanding those things will actually be helpful.
 
2014-07-24 08:45:19 PM

snocone: Nonsense, we need to double down on the old derp that has profited us for so long.

It is your "metabolism". Eat less, run more. Consume. Obey.


You sound fat.
 
2014-07-24 08:51:19 PM

vodka: what is the point of commenting on anything on Fark. The odds of anyone responding are like 0.^A%.... and the odds of discussion are even less. Good luck, farkers.

This is why I hardly ever comment on here.


You make a very salient and cromulent point.
 
2014-07-24 08:56:19 PM
If you people spent as much time exercising and watching what you ate instead of making excuses, you might not be fat.
 
2014-07-24 09:07:24 PM
img.fark.net
 
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