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(CrushPlate)   There once was a man from Limerick/ Who stepped out back with an exposed dick/ He looked at two girls in a pool/ Which they thought was not cool/ And now a new lawyer he must pick   (crushplate.com) divider line 76
    More: Dumbass  
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3414 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jul 2014 at 7:31 AM (9 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-24 02:58:38 AM
Points for trying but that was horrible, subby.  The meter was all wrong.

Not that I could do much better, at least not at this time of night.
 
2014-07-24 03:27:54 AM
Okay, it's bugging me, I have to try.

There once was a man from Limerick,
Who really liked showing off his dick,
Two girls he did spy,
And foul they did cry,
So policed arrested the dumb prick.
 
2014-07-24 07:39:43 AM
Worst.
Limerick.
Ever.
 
2014-07-24 07:42:38 AM
A man from Limerick was found
waving his old boy around
two damsels were shocked
the cell door was locked
he now need a lawyer renowned
 
2014-07-24 07:43:08 AM

Ambivalence: Okay, it's bugging me, I have to try.

There once was a man from Limerick,
Who really liked showing off his dick,
Two girls he did spy,
And foul they did cry,
So policed arrested the dumb prick.


Came here for the same reason.

There once was a man from Limeric
Who liked to show off his little dick
Two girls he did spy
But his wang made them cry
Now this last line has something something I failed >_<

That "ick". Not as easy as I thought it might be.
 
2014-07-24 07:45:05 AM
Rose are red
Violets are blue
Some poems rhyme
Others don't
 
2014-07-24 07:45:50 AM

Ambivalence: Okay, it's bugging me, I have to try.

There once was a man from Limerick,
Who really liked showing off his dick,
Two girls he did spy,
And foul they did cry,
So policed arrested the dumb prick.


The meter's off there as well.

There once was a man from Lim'rick,
Who really liked showing his dick,
Two girls he'd spy,
And foul they did cry,
So police arrested the prick.

/still sucks
 
2014-07-24 07:48:38 AM

Ambivalence: Okay, it's bugging me, I have to try.

There once was a man from Limerick,
Who really liked showing off his dick,
Two girls he did spy,
And foul they did cry,
So policed arrested the dumb prick.


Closer

There once was a man from Limerick,
Who enjoyed showing off his dick,
Off he did jack,
When he showed girls his sack,
Now in jail he'll be someone's chick.
 
2014-07-24 07:51:30 AM
Link blocked by my work filter, but as a resident of Limerick, Pa... I'd like to make sure TFA isn't about me one of  my neighbors... can one of you farkers let me know if this is from Limerick Ireland, Limerick, Pa. or somewhere else?
 
2014-07-24 07:51:35 AM
Limerick is actually pretty awkward for limericks.   The emphasis is on the wrong syllable for the meter.
 
2014-07-24 08:00:42 AM
There once was a man from Limerick
Who showed two girls his rigid dick
The cops said pharkit
This isn't Nantucket
And hauled him off lickety-quick
 
2014-07-24 08:01:31 AM
fecking filters
 
2014-07-24 08:02:17 AM
A man who thought he was hung
Started jacking to girls much too young
Unless he is rich
he'll be someone's biatch
when his cellmate's dick enters his bung
 
2014-07-24 08:04:27 AM
Behold the man for Limerick
Now behold his exposed dick
It's not the first time
he committed this crime
So the judge must excise this prick
 
2014-07-24 08:06:24 AM
This old man, from Lim'rick he hailed,
His penis, about him, he flailed,
When two girls spied him
The courts, they then tried him
His proffered defense, well, it failed
 
2014-07-24 08:06:30 AM

Dino-Czar: Behold the man for from Limerick
Now behold his exposed dick
It's not the first time
he committed this crime
So the judge must excise this prick



needs coffee.
 
2014-07-24 08:11:21 AM

kevinatilusa: Limerick is actually pretty awkward for limericks.   The emphasis is on the wrong syllable for the meter.


It just needs to go somewhere other than the end of the line.
 
2014-07-24 08:14:44 AM
-8
 
2014-07-24 08:14:54 AM

theknuckler_33: Link blocked by my work filter, but as a resident of Limerick, Pa... I'd like to make sure TFA isn't about me one of  my neighbors... can one of you farkers let me know if this is from Limerick Ireland, Limerick, Pa. or somewhere else?


It's PA. Some 62 year old man named Barclay. Wtf kind of name is Barclay?
 
2014-07-24 08:22:30 AM
In a town with a name that I'm punning
An old man was laying out sunning
Then two little girls
Saw the man's little curls
Now into the bushes they're running
 
2014-07-24 08:27:59 AM

Earthworm Jim Jones: theknuckler_33: Link blocked by my work filter, but as a resident of Limerick, Pa... I'd like to make sure TFA isn't about me one of  my neighbors... can one of you farkers let me know if this is from Limerick Ireland, Limerick, Pa. or somewhere else?

It's PA. Some 62 year old man named Barclay. Wtf kind of name is Barclay?


There once was a man named Barclay
Who whipped it out one sunny day
The girls they did scream
Afraid he would cream
And then they told Dad straight away
 
2014-07-24 08:29:36 AM
A thread about lim'ricks began
and quickly got out of hand
discourse about peters,
meters and cheaters
could get a poor fellow banned
 
2014-07-24 08:34:13 AM

You Idiots: There once was a man from Limerick
Who showed two girls his rigid dick
The cops said pharkit
This isn't Nantucket
And hauled him off lickety-quick


A bit old and a bit obvious, but I feel compelled to leave this here....

img.fark.net
 
2014-07-24 08:35:22 AM
Never any love for Milton's blank verse.

Abashed the pervert stood,
And felt how awful second offenses are.
 
2014-07-24 08:45:28 AM
This thread has taught me two things.  1.)There are quite a few farkers more creative than I am, and 2.) exposing yourself to strangers if far more dangerous than I had previously thought.

From a Pennsylvania town a main hailed,
peeking over a fence as he wailed
"my god am I sick",
as he whipped out his dick
but his plans were quickly derailed

/Is this an appropriate place for sharing BIE?
//EIP
 
2014-07-24 08:46:41 AM
This thread got silly quick.
All over a man being a dick.

/I suck at this, I better quit.
 
2014-07-24 08:46:57 AM
The man from Haiku
Never gets into trouble.
Wonder why that is.
 
2014-07-24 08:49:09 AM

Devolving_Spud: A thread about lim'ricks began
and quickly got out of hand
discourse about peters,
meters and cheaters
could get a poor fellow banned


I enjoyed what you did with this rhyme
Meta humor, I think, is sublime
Though a limerick that's good
Should include something lewd
Coming up with some smut takes more time
 
2014-07-24 08:53:40 AM
A Limerick crime and quite recent:
Two girls spied a neighbour as he bent
A flagrant erection
In every direction
He's in for exposure indecent
 
Biv
2014-07-24 08:55:25 AM
In Limerick there lived a man
Who held his junk in his hand
By two girls he was seen
as he tugged on his peen
Now dude is locked in the can
 
2014-07-24 08:56:03 AM

Delta1212: kevinatilusa: Limerick is actually pretty awkward for limericks.   The emphasis is on the wrong syllable for the meter.

It just needs to go somewhere other than the end of the line.


No. You just shorten it to two syllables when reading it aloud. Lim'rick

There was an old pervert from Limerick [Lim'rick]

Take it away, James Joyce.
 
2014-07-24 08:56:20 AM
Good limericks can be a huge hassle
Without care they turn out quite facile
What we need is a pro
Someone in the know
This is a job for Carl Kasell
 
2014-07-24 08:57:11 AM
Top quality stuff here, meets my approval.

/Roses are red, fark you.
 
2014-07-24 09:01:57 AM
From Limerick once came a lad;
An impulse to exhibit he had.
Waved his wand at the pool,
Two girls in it said "Fool!
You had best lawyer up now, you cad!"
 
2014-07-24 09:03:19 AM
From Limerick a man he did come
When dressing, he was evidently dumb.
When out popped his dick
A laugh sprang from the chick
It was nearly the size of his thumb.
 
2014-07-24 09:05:37 AM
A Limerick man took a walk
But neglected to put up his cock.
Two ladies found out
and gave out a shout:
he now finds himself in the dock.
 
2014-07-24 09:09:21 AM
Man in Limerick
Waves his genitals at kids
He is so busted

//I loves me some haiku
 
2014-07-24 09:11:05 AM
Doing what no decent man should,
an old codger brandished his manhood,
found young girls outside,
then spread his legs wide
and blew loads to strip bark from a dogwood.
 
2014-07-24 09:14:11 AM
A Limerick fellow named Jock
Had a habit of flaunting his cock
But he went to a pool
To show off his tool
And wound up tout suite in the dock.

That's how scansion works, subby, you tard.
 
2014-07-24 09:23:13 AM

Son of Thunder: Worst.
Limerick.
Ever.


So the story about a bad Limerick man was submitted by a bad-limerick-man?
 
2014-07-24 09:53:26 AM

hillary: Delta1212: kevinatilusa: Limerick is actually pretty awkward for limericks.   The emphasis is on the wrong syllable for the meter.

It just needs to go somewhere other than the end of the line.

No. You just shorten it to two syllables when reading it aloud. Lim'rick

There was an old pervert from Limerick [Lim'rick]

Take it away, James Joyce.


It's not the number of syllables. It's the emphasis. Limerick/Lim'rick both have the emphasis on the first syllable and limericks traditionally use an anapest meter (da-da-DA) which would put the emphasis on the final syllable of the line. You'd need to emphasize the 'rick' in Limerick for it to work as the final word in the line. That sounds funny and most people reading it aren't going to naturally read the emphasis that way, which really throws off the meter.

You can probably get away with Lim'rick using the rick as an additional unstressed syllable in the first line, as that's not uncommon (See: traditional use of Nantucket), but that requires some additional playing around with the meter to make it work and that seems to be beyond what most people can comfortably pull off.
 
2014-07-24 09:53:30 AM
one TWO one two THREE one two THREE four
one TWO one two THREE one two THREE four
one TWO one two THREE
one TWO one two THREE
one TWO one two THREE one two THREE four
 
2014-07-24 09:54:20 AM
Limericks have a strict structure Subby. Where's the FAIL tag?
 
2014-07-24 09:55:52 AM

Delta1212: and that seems to be beyond what most people can comfortably pull off.



Writing funny lines to a specific meter so that the meter contributes to the humor is difficult?
 
2014-07-24 10:03:44 AM

yakmans_dad: Delta1212: and that seems to be beyond what most people can comfortably pull off.


Writing funny lines to a specific meter so that the meter contributes to the humor is difficult?


Have you read this thread?
 
2014-07-24 10:05:06 AM

yakmans_dad: one TWO one two THREE one two THREE four
one TWO one two THREE one two THREE four
one TWO one two THREE
one TWO one two THREE
one TWO one two THREE one two THREE four


There once was a literary critic by the name of yakman
Who, when it came to limericks, went on the attack, man!
His meter representation
Which educated FARK nation
Caused me to post bad doggerel with curse words and get ... ACK!  (Banned.)

Russ1642: Limericks have a strict structure Subby.


Sorry - pet peeve.

There once was a man hailed from Boston
Who traded his Ford for an Astin.
Found room for his ass,
And a gallon of gas -
But his balls hung out, and he lost 'em.

Close enough?
 
2014-07-24 10:07:48 AM

Ambivalence: Points for trying but that was horrible, subby.  The meter was all wrong.

Not that I could do much better, at least not at this time of night.


All of this
 
2014-07-24 10:11:03 AM

kevinatilusa: Limerick is actually pretty awkward for limericks.   The emphasis is on the wrong syllable for the meter.


A Limerick man was exposed
When he suddenly spotted some hos.
While down by the pool
They spotted his tool
So off to a prison he goes
 
2014-07-24 10:11:29 AM
There once was a man from Limerick/ Who stepped out back with an exposed dick/ He looked at two girls in a pool/ Which they thought was not cool/ And now a new lawyer he must pick

You could have at least tried to put this into the recognizable cadence of a limerick instead of this stroke victim rhythm.
 
2014-07-24 10:12:18 AM
MooseBayou: yakmans_dad: one TWO one two THREE one two THREE four
one TWO one two THREE one two THREE four
one TWO one two THREE
one TWO one two THREE
one TWO one two THREE one two THREE four

There once was a literary critic by the name of yakman
Who, when it came to limericks, went on the attack, man!
His meter representation
Which educated FARK nation
Caused me to post bad doggerel with curse words and get ... ACK!  (Banned.)

That wasn't a "representation". That was a limerick.
 
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