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(Mirror.co.uk)   Don't you just hate it when you're so drunk you confuse the cabin door on your flight with the restroom?   (mirror.co.uk) divider line 17
    More: Scary, Dublin, Ryanair, Dublin Airport, Ryanair flight  
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4615 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jul 2014 at 9:13 AM (9 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-07-24 10:39:37 AM
2 votes:
I hate it when I'm getting good and drunk and well on my way to blackout island and the stewardess is all "sir, you need to wake up and land the plane."  Isn't that what she's there for?  I've seen movies.
2014-07-24 10:05:50 AM
2 votes:

johnny_vegas: moel: "...i am a man, and as such incapable of exerting the best part of 3 tons of force on a door"

so a woman could?

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 400x368]

/ok, maybe


fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net
2014-07-24 09:52:59 AM
2 votes:
Despite its name, passengers are not allowed to put their cocks in the cockpit.
2014-07-24 09:22:01 AM
2 votes:
(Back in the cockpit of the airliner. The two pilots sit there. Atmospheric noise of a big airliner in flight. Suddenly there is a banging on the door at the back of the cockpit.)
Zanie: (off-screen) Are you going to be in there all day? (the two pilots exchange a puzzled look, then shrug and go back to flying; suddenly another series of bangs on door) Other people want to go you know! (they exchange another look; pause; a heavier bang on the door) The door's jammed, if you ask me. (a crash as he attempts to force it; another crash and the door flies open; Mr Zanie enters) Ah. (suddenly realizing where he is) Oh my God. Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I thought this was the bally toilet.
Second Pilot: This is the control cabin.
Zanie: Oh I know that. I'm a flying man, you know... oh yes... Bally stupid mistake...
(A pause. Zanie remains sanding at the back of cockpit. The pilots go on as if he is not there.)
Second Pilot: Cloud's heavy ... What's the reading?
Mr Chigger: 4.8... Steady.
Zanie: If they had all those dials in the toilet... there wouldn't be room for anything else, would there. (another nervous laugh; not the slightest reaction from the pilots)
Mr Chigger: (into intercom) Hello, Geneva this is Roger Five-O ... What is your cloud reading? Hello, Geneva...
Zanie: I wouldn't fancy flying one of those sitting on the toilet... I mean it'd take the glamour out of being a pilot, wouldn't it, ha ha, flying around the world sitting on a toilet.
Radio Voice: Geneva here. 4.9 ... Heavy... Over.
Mr Chigger: Serious?
Second Pilot: No, not if it keeps at that level, no.
Zanie: Mind you, if you did fly it from the toilet it would leave a lot more space up here, wouldn't it. (finally he realizes his attempt at small talk is not working) Well, I'd better get back to the cabin, then. Sorry about the silly intrusion. Bally stupid. (he pushes lever down on the door which opens directly out of the plane) Door's jammed. (he gives it a shoulder charge and flies straight out of the plane) Aaaaaaaaaarrrggghhhhhh!
(Plane noise overhead Continue scream. Outside of a gent's lavatory, there is a big pile of straw. Pause, then Zanie drops onto the straw. He looks up at gent's sign.)
Zanie: Bally piece of luck...
(He brushes himself down and goes into gents. Cut back to cockpit. A hostess enters from the passenger cabin.)
2014-07-24 09:16:46 AM
2 votes:

ChipNASA: Diogenes: The court was told that the 26-year-old was drinking his own beer on the flight and moved towards the door to open it at 7.45pm.

I can't bring toothpaste on a flight but this guy slips a 6 pack on?

He's British. It's a rule.


What the hell would he need toothpaste for???


/if the joke went over your head
2014-07-24 11:36:30 AM
1 votes:

Limeyluv: All of these drunk idiots doing stupid and/or violent acts are going to get in-flight liquor banned altogether.


img.fark.net
2014-07-24 11:34:11 AM
1 votes:
Don't you just hate it when you're so drunk you confuse the cabin door on your flight with the restroom?  they serve booze on a flight for no reason other than to make another dollar and a cent more.

flying with Drunks is no way to fly.


if you need to drink on a flight somewhere, maybe you should check into AA for some discussion.  when you get off the plane, go get snockered at the airport watering hole. that way, we aren't stuck in the sky at 40,000 feet with your dumb ass.
2014-07-24 11:01:22 AM
1 votes:

ransack.: Don't you have to pay like four dollars to get in the bathroom on a RyanAir flight? That should have tipped him off.


That's the thing, the exit door costs $10.
2014-07-24 10:50:15 AM
1 votes:

dascott: I hate it when I'm getting good and drunk and well on my way to blackout island and the stewardess is all "sir, you need to wake up and land the plane."  Isn't that what she's there for?  I've seen movies.


i.stack.imgur.com
2014-07-24 10:36:20 AM
1 votes:

Schmerd1948: I know I should Google it, but I'm hung over. Does Ryanair really charge you to pee?


Only if you want to do it in the toilet
2014-07-24 10:24:17 AM
1 votes:
I thought Ryanair got rid of the toilets because no one was paying for them.
2014-07-24 10:12:20 AM
1 votes:

Spiralmonkey: ChipNASA: Diogenes: The court was told that the 26-year-old was drinking his own beer on the flight and moved towards the door to open it at 7.45pm.

I can't bring toothpaste on a flight but this guy slips a 6 pack on?

He's British. It's a rule.

Since when is a Polish guy flying to Ireland British?


Finally!  A Polish joke I haven't yet heard!
2014-07-24 10:02:14 AM
1 votes:

cgraves67: Despite its name, passengers are not allowed to put their cocks in the cockpit.


If you want that sort of thing, you need to hit on the stewardess really hard.
2014-07-24 09:32:37 AM
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
2014-07-24 09:31:37 AM
1 votes:

moel: trevzie:Those doors should really have a lock based on an altimeter so they can't be opened at 30,000 feet.

Not sure if serious....


Haven't you ever seen an action movie? Happens all the time.
2014-07-24 09:16:06 AM
1 votes:

Diogenes: The court was told that the 26-year-old was drinking his own beer on the flight and moved towards the door to open it at 7.45pm.

I can't bring toothpaste on a flight but this guy slips a 6 pack on?


He's British. It's a rule.
2014-07-24 09:05:15 AM
1 votes:
The court was told that the 26-year-old was drinking his own beer on the flight and moved towards the door to open it at 7.45pm.

I can't bring toothpaste on a flight but this guy slips a 6 pack on?
 
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