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(Telegraph)   Monocles across Britain shattered as they fell to the floor and women collapsed onto fainting couches as it was announced the Queen's horse tested positive for morphine   (telegraph.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Silly, race horses, banned drugs, filly, British Horseracing Authority  
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3117 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jul 2014 at 1:07 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



76 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2014-07-22 10:33:38 PM  
I want this to be a photoshop contest.
 
2014-07-22 11:56:08 PM  
justmediakits.com

Yo dawg, we herd you like horse so we gave your horse some horse.
 
2014-07-23 01:10:14 AM  
I've only had it twice, when I twisted my back. It was wonderful. Wife was in immense pain during childbirth, they gave her some, was great until the next contraction hit...
 
2014-07-23 01:14:03 AM  
Catherine the Great is unimpressed by this Queen/horse-related scandal.
 
2014-07-23 01:14:51 AM  
By Jove...
 
2014-07-23 01:14:53 AM  
Yes! A horse will test positive for horse, duh!
 
2014-07-23 01:15:00 AM  

Ex-Texan: I've only had it twice, when I twisted my back. It was wonderful. Wife was in immense pain during childbirth, they gave her some, was great until the next contraction hit...

Did she stand up, in the stirrups?
 
2014-07-23 01:15:24 AM  
Why did it have morphine it its system?

ilovezebraprint.com
 
2014-07-23 01:17:01 AM  
The Queen's horse isn't a euphemism for her hooha is it because that's 88 years old and I'm not clicking the link if it is.
 
2014-07-23 01:18:21 AM  
At least it is morphine and not horse.
 
2014-07-23 01:19:40 AM  
 
2014-07-23 01:23:52 AM  
That's actually a fairly big deal in horse racing.

I know it's fun to make fun of the queen, but she's one of the most remarkable figures in all of European history, especially when you consider she was never really supposed to be queen.
 
2014-07-23 01:24:50 AM  
In keeping with my repeated attempts to convince Farkers that the English have very unattractive women:

Am I the only person in the English speaking world who thought Princess Diana was unattractive?  A real beak on that one, and the chest of a schoolboy.
 
2014-07-23 01:26:37 AM  
So it won clean the previous year and they ran it again this year? I'd need some meds on that schedule as well.
 
2014-07-23 01:29:18 AM  
With a helpful picture of what a Queen and a horse might look like:

dedetillmanblogs.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-07-23 01:32:42 AM  

nickdaisy: In keeping with my repeated attempts to convince Farkers that the English have very unattractive women:

Am I the only person in the English speaking world who thought Princess Diana was unattractive?  A real beak on that one, and the chest of a schoolboy.


Chest and backside, which would be considered attractive in England.
 
2014-07-23 01:35:00 AM  

nickdaisy: Am I the only person in the English speaking world who thought Princess Diana was unattractive?


No sir, you are not.
 
2014-07-23 01:39:27 AM  
Morphine contaminated feed? Where do they buy it from? Afghanistan?
 
2014-07-23 01:42:22 AM  

Pointy Tail of Satan: Morphine contaminated feed? Where do they buy it from? Afghanistan?


And, more to the point, where can I get some?
 
2014-07-23 01:42:25 AM  
Authorities were tipped off when the horse nodded off to the screeches of an electric violin.
 
2014-07-23 01:52:50 AM  
But the important question is; when will Downton Abbey season 4 be free on Amazon Prime?
 
ecl
2014-07-23 02:04:45 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: With a helpful picture of what a Queen and a horse might look like:

[dedetillmanblogs.files.wordpress.com image 640x380]


ib1.huluim.com
 
2014-07-23 02:27:01 AM  

C18H27NO3: nickdaisy: Am I the only person in the English speaking world who thought Princess Diana was unattractive?

No sir, you are not.


this
 
2014-07-23 02:28:00 AM  

nickdaisy: In keeping with my repeated attempts to convince Farkers that the English have very unattractive women:

Am I the only person in the English speaking world who thought Princess Diana was unattractive?  A real beak on that one, and the chest of a schoolboy.


We talking pre or post crash?
 
2014-07-23 02:30:13 AM  
www.talismancoins.com

She was a hottie at one time.
 
2014-07-23 02:37:08 AM  

nickdaisy: In keeping with my repeated attempts to convince Farkers that the English have very unattractive women:

Am I the only person in the English speaking world who thought Princess Diana was unattractive?  A real beak on that one, and the chest of a schoolboy.


You have poor taste to think this was unattractive
static6.businessinsider.comris.fashion.telegraph.co.uk

She was very beautiful and classy.
 
2014-07-23 02:40:48 AM  

Darth_Lukecash: nickdaisy: In keeping with my repeated attempts to convince Farkers that the English have very unattractive women:

Am I the only person in the English speaking world who thought Princess Diana was unattractive?  A real beak on that one, and the chest of a schoolboy.

You have poor taste to think this was unattractive
[static6.businessinsider.com image 850x637][ris.fashion.telegraph.co.uk image 409x669]

She was very beautiful and classy.


Very much agreed. I've never understood Prince Chuckles cheating on her with horseface Camilla Puker-Bowels.
 
2014-07-23 02:48:25 AM  

Darth_Lukecash: nickdaisy: In keeping with my repeated attempts to convince Farkers that the English have very unattractive women:

Am I the only person in the English speaking world who thought Princess Diana was unattractive?  A real beak on that one, and the chest of a schoolboy.

You have poor taste to think this was unattractive
[static6.businessinsider.com image 850x637][ris.fashion.telegraph.co.uk image 409x669]

She was very beautiful and classy.


I much prefer the porn star who sort of looked like her and did a parody spread in some porn magazine.  Her bush was even styled like the hair on her head.

And I'm not why you picked that first picture.  The's not unattractive in the 2nd one.  I'm not why you think she's classy.  I think you're giving her too much credit for marrying into royalty and spending a little time playing charitable princess.  It's easy to have causes when you're royalty.
 
2014-07-23 02:53:20 AM  

Piizzadude: C18H27NO3: nickdaisy: Am I the only person in the English speaking world who thought Princess Diana was unattractive?

No sir, you are not.

this


blogs.villagevoice.com

therogersrevue.files.wordpress.com

She was Marcia Wallace with good hair.
 
2014-07-23 02:54:07 AM  

MFAWG: That's actually a fairly big deal in horse racing.

I know it's fun to make fun of the queen, but she's one of the most remarkable figures in all of European history, especially when you consider she was never really supposed to be queen.


She was supposed to be King?
 
2014-07-23 03:03:17 AM  

TomD9938: She was Marcia Wallace with good hair.


Nice! Thought I was the only one to not find Di that hawt. Not a fan of short hair on women or blondes as a rule and yeah that nose.

She did do some good charity work in her time but her death turned her into some kind of mini deity in a lot of people's minds it seems. I find that a bit creepy.

That noted, I've always suspected that Charles must have some seriously farked up fetish he shares with Camilla "Why the long face?" Bowles-Parker in order to have strayed on Di for her.
 
2014-07-23 03:09:34 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: Very much agreed. I've never understood Prince Chuckles cheating on her with horseface Camilla Puker-Bowels.


Because Charles never wanted her in the first place.

Princess Diana was a virgin mare whose job it was to produce princes. And the deal was that he'd still be able to keep farking Camilla.
 
2014-07-23 03:48:21 AM  
Well I say there old chap..morphine.
 
2014-07-23 04:44:03 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: With a helpful picture of what a Queen and a horse might look like:

[dedetillmanblogs.files.wordpress.com image 640x380]


They shoot horses, don't they?
http://www.inquisitr.com/1356153/princess-diana-killed-by-prince-cha rl es-camilla-bowles-allegedly-claims/
 
2014-07-23 05:21:50 AM  
I protest! You all need to refrain from casting aspersions on the Queens good name.

As far as you silly Farkers questioning Her Majesties lineage, shame on you.

Queen Elizabeth II is British as Queen Victoria!


/don't judge without walking a mile in her shoes!
 
2014-07-23 05:26:24 AM  

Darth_Lukecash: She was very beautiful and classy.


You have the most British standards in the world if you mean either one of those non-sarcastically, and I don't mean that as a compliment.

Walking bloody tabloid scandal, that one.  The Khardashian of the 1990s.
 
2014-07-23 05:28:10 AM  
i.telegraph.co.uk

That horse has the crazy eyes.

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-07-23 05:30:16 AM  

Triumph: Danger Avoid Death: With a helpful picture of what a Queen and a horse might look like:

[dedetillmanblogs.files.wordpress.com image 640x380]

They shoot horses, don't they?
http://www.inquisitr.com/1356153/princess-diana-killed-by-prince-cha rl es-camilla-bowles-allegedly-claims/


The problem with the conspiracy theory about the royals killing Diana is that it just doesn't add up. What's the monarchy's motive for killing her AFTER they've paid her a multi-million pound divorce settlement? Why kill off a woman who was known for her beauty and public life who was getting older and spending all her time shagging a non-white playboy and trashing her image? She was going to end up bouncing between unsuitable men for the rest of her life, getting used and disposed.

Killing her just created a timeless beauty like Marilyn Monroe, instead of letting her become Liz Taylor.
 
2014-07-23 06:02:01 AM  
From you, alright! I learned it from you!
 
2014-07-23 06:14:52 AM  

farkeruk: Triumph: Danger Avoid Death: With a helpful picture of what a Queen and a horse might look like:

[dedetillmanblogs.files.wordpress.com image 640x380]

They shoot horses, don't they?
http://www.inquisitr.com/1356153/princess-diana-killed-by-prince-cha rl es-camilla-bowles-allegedly-claims/

The problem with the conspiracy theory about the royals killing Diana is that it just doesn't add up. What's the monarchy's motive for killing her AFTER they've paid her a multi-million pound divorce settlement? Why kill off a woman who was known for her beauty and public life who was getting older and spending all her time shagging a non-white playboy and trashing her image? She was going to end up bouncing between unsuitable men for the rest of her life, getting used and disposed.

Killing her just created a timeless beauty like Marilyn Monroe, instead of letting her become Liz Taylor.


Exactly.  In the months before her death the tabloids were full of stories about the many married men she was farking, the stalkerish 300+ phone calls in one day to one of them, the made-up stories (I just happened to be in a hospital ward at 3am- would anyone use that excuse now post-Savile?).

Suddenly she's the most wonderful being who ever lived and we should spend the rest of our lives in mourning for a dim but manipulative Sloane.

If the royals really wanted to destroy her they'd have just left her to carry on as normal, by now she'd be on her fourth marriage and considering a reality show.
 
2014-07-23 06:20:40 AM  
 
2014-07-23 06:20:54 AM  
I'm still not quite clear on how morphine is supposed to make a horse run faster rather than say break into parked cars looking for loose change or freaking out because there's a dead baby on the ceiling looking at them.
 
2014-07-23 06:33:57 AM  

quatchi: I'm still not quite clear on how morphine is supposed to make a horse run faster rather than say break into parked cars looking for loose change or freaking out because there's a dead baby on the ceiling looking at them.


If they don't feel pain, they don't slow down.
 
2014-07-23 06:34:32 AM  

mike_d85: quatchi: I'm still not quite clear on how morphine is supposed to make a horse run faster rather than say break into parked cars looking for loose change or freaking out because there's a dead baby on the ceiling looking at them.

If they don't feel pain, they don't slow down.


Comma.
 
2014-07-23 06:46:26 AM  

mike_d85: Comma.

mike_d85: Comma.

mike_d85: Comma.

mike_d85: Comma.

mike_d85: Comma.

farkeruk: Camilla.

dv-ous: on

 
2014-07-23 06:54:43 AM  

mike_d85: quatchi: I'm still not quite clear on how morphine is supposed to make a horse run faster rather than say break into parked cars looking for loose change or freaking out because there's a dead baby on the ceiling looking at them.

If they don't feel pain, they don't slow down.


Yeah, that makes sense.

Could it actually be a bad feed situation here as the story indicates or is that theory some sort of face saving distraction?
 
2014-07-23 07:07:03 AM  

nickdaisy: In keeping with my repeated attempts to convince Farkers that the English have very unattractive women:

Am I the only person in the English speaking world who thought Princess Diana was unattractive?  A real beak on that one, and the chest of a schoolboy.


I don't think she was unattractive, but yeah if she was not a princess she wouldn't be regarded as teh hotness. Like any actress who's name would be brought up in a discussion of hot women is like an entire league of hotness better.
 
2014-07-23 07:14:05 AM  

TomD9938: Piizzadude: C18H27NO3: nickdaisy: Am I the only person in the English speaking world who thought Princess Diana was unattractive?

No sir, you are not.

this

[blogs.villagevoice.com image 300x300]

[therogersrevue.files.wordpress.com image 477x403]

She was Marcia Wallace with good hair.


I'd throw a shot into her. But then I'd give Marcia Wallace a try
 
2014-07-23 07:19:39 AM  
So the queen is a juicer? Better than a squirter I guess.

/enjoy that visual
 
2014-07-23 07:32:34 AM  
Wilbur! I'm trippin' balls out here!
 
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