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(MLive.com)   Gunman barricades himself in adult novelty store. Hopefully this story has a happy ending   ( mlive.com) divider line
    More: Scary  
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2225 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jul 2014 at 6:58 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



52 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2014-07-22 04:53:20 PM  
"WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED. COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!"

"I didn't hear you!"

"I SAID COME..."

"Too late."
 
2014-07-22 05:02:30 PM  
A: "Oh my God! He's going to shoot!"

B: "They have a desensitizing lubricant for that problem..."
 
2014-07-22 05:05:34 PM  
A: "Damn. He's holed up between the dildos and the butt plugs."

B: "Say 't'ain't so."
 
2014-07-22 05:52:28 PM  
I'd try taking a blow-up doll hostage. You never know, it could work.
 
2014-07-22 06:11:18 PM  

fusillade762: I'd try taking a blow-up doll hostage. You never know, it could work.


Kwameeeeee!!! Your woman is in danger!
 
2014-07-22 07:01:56 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-07-22 07:02:15 PM  
Seriously...I 69?
 
2014-07-22 07:05:17 PM  
Barricaded gunman at adult store in Coldwater, holding at least two hostage

Apparently nobody told him the ladies weren't for sale.
 
2014-07-22 07:09:34 PM  
some guy is obliviously getting his jollies in a glory hole booth right now totally unaware this is all going on

ain't he gonna be surprised
 
2014-07-22 07:10:13 PM  
A real dick would have handled it differently.
 
2014-07-22 07:10:15 PM  
"Officials said the incident started with a police chase over the state line in Indiana, and the suspect stopped and ran into the store, according to the report."

When ya gotta come, ya gotta come.
 
2014-07-22 07:14:52 PM  
I bet he went in looking for a job only find out they didn't have any openings he could fill.
 
2014-07-22 07:17:56 PM  
So, the crisis is already over?
Guess he ran out of tokens or something.
 
2014-07-22 07:19:18 PM  
I'm waiting for Fark's own barricaded gunman to tell us what's really going on.
 
2014-07-22 07:26:39 PM  

El Dudereno: I'm waiting for Fark's own barricaded gunman to tell us what's really going on.


SHHHH!
 
2014-07-22 07:41:46 PM  
Something tells me he isn't going to get off easy...
 
2014-07-22 07:42:22 PM  
Have any shots been fired?
 
2014-07-22 07:44:00 PM  
Is he still holed up?
Did anyone get plugged?
 
2014-07-22 07:44:31 PM  
Bring on the puns...
 
2014-07-22 07:44:43 PM  
This could have a novel ending...
 
2014-07-22 07:45:21 PM  
The last time that I was in an Adult shop some dude reached through a hole in the wall of the booth. I shook hands with him and then left. What a waste of a quarter.
 
2014-07-22 07:47:29 PM  
They say he could be nutz, but he just comes off like a dick.
 
2014-07-22 07:48:04 PM  
Is he busted?
 
2014-07-22 07:48:14 PM  
Talk about going off half-cocked.
 
2014-07-22 07:49:36 PM  
Will he get screwed?
I need updates, damn it! This is no time to hold out...
 
2014-07-22 07:49:59 PM  
"Is he done yet?"
 
2014-07-22 07:52:05 PM  

Ray Vaughn: Seriously...I 69?


I'm 99% certain that was intentional.
 
2014-07-22 07:53:01 PM  
As a kid (...well, teen) from the area, I used to think the Lion's Den was where the Lion's Club met...
 
2014-07-22 07:55:56 PM  

sirbissel: As a kid (...well, teen) from the area, I used to think the Lion's Den was where the Lion's Club met...


It is. They just agree not make eye contact.
 
2014-07-22 07:56:48 PM  

lindalouwho: fusillade762: I'd try taking a blow-up doll hostage. You never know, it could work.

Kwameeeeee!!! Your woman is in danger!


i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-22 07:57:33 PM  

sirbissel: As a kid (...well, teen) from the area, I used to think the Lion's Den was where the Lion's Club met...


Would they call that a 'Lion party'?
 
2014-07-22 07:58:00 PM  
untappedcities.com
 
2014-07-22 07:58:37 PM  

sirbissel: As a kid (...well, teen) from the area, I used to think the Lion's Den was where the Lion's Club met...


media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com

Those crazy Lions.
 
2014-07-22 08:00:14 PM  

zulius: Ray Vaughn: Seriously...I 69?

I'm 99% certain that was intentional.



getoffonbigbeaver.com
 
2014-07-22 08:02:37 PM  
Is he a gangbanger?
 
2014-07-22 08:29:03 PM  
He refused the appointed attorney.  He says he can get himself off.
 
2014-07-22 08:36:26 PM  

JimmySlicings: zulius: Ray Vaughn: Seriously...I 69?

I'm 99% certain that was intentional.


[getoffonbigbeaver.com image 555x312]


Detroit area?
 
2014-07-22 08:45:40 PM  

DanielElectro: JimmySlicings: zulius: Ray Vaughn: Seriously...I 69?

I'm 99% certain that was intentional.


[getoffonbigbeaver.com image 555x312]

Detroit area?


Troy.
 
2014-07-22 09:43:32 PM  

lindalouwho: DanielElectro: JimmySlicings: zulius: Ray Vaughn: Seriously...I 69?

I'm 99% certain that was intentional.


[getoffonbigbeaver.com image 555x312]

Detroit area?

Troy.


Which is the Metro Detroit area. That exit is roughly 8 miles north of Eminem's famous 8 Mile rd, which marks the northern border of the city proper. Big Beaver rd is also 16 Mile rd once it stretched into the neighboring town.

The exit is actually on I-75, though,

I-69 runs up through Michigan from Indiana to Lansing, then heads west through Flint and on to the bridge to Canada in Port Huron.
 
2014-07-22 09:59:06 PM  
WOOD TV News...
 
2014-07-22 10:09:39 PM  

lindalouwho: DanielElectro: JimmySlicings: zulius: Ray Vaughn: Seriously...I 69?

I'm 99% certain that was intentional.


[getoffonbigbeaver.com image 555x312]

Detroit area?

Troy.


Yes, but this gunman was far west and south, barely in Michigan. Coldwater might as well be Indiana.
 
2014-07-22 10:16:40 PM  

BeepBeepMeep: WOOD TV News...


It's weird. Lots of things in Grand Rapids are "wood" something. It IS the uber-Christian, uber-conservative part of the state, so maybe the obsession with wood is deeper than just a love of oak floors, but yeah... There's a lot of stuff over there with the word or call-sign "wood".

And for the record, WOOD TV 8 sucks. I've never seen a TV news crew hype themselves or their importance as much as WOOD TV 8. They act like they're the glue holding the community together, and without their sensationalist stories, stupid small-pond interviews, and stunning personalities, all of Grand Rapids would descend into fires and cannibalism.

I've met three of the personalities (they ain't journalists) from WOOD TV 8, and they were all narcissistic, head-up-their-ass, arrogant jerks who thought they deserved to be treated like  celebrities.

Attention TV news readers: You're not celebrities. You're manikins that read what the actual journalists write.
 
2014-07-22 10:17:14 PM  
sorry - was asking about the sign for Big Beaver Road Exit 69 being in Detroit.
 
2014-07-22 10:18:05 PM  

DanielElectro: sorry - was asking about the sign for Big Beaver Road Exit 69 being in Detroit.


Ah. Yes. Well, kinda. Troy might as well be Detroit. It just has more stores and fewer packs of wild dogs in the mall.
 
2014-07-22 10:26:31 PM  

DanielElectro: sorry - was asking about the sign for Big Beaver Road Exit 69 being in Detroit.


;-) I know
 
2014-07-22 10:51:14 PM  
imgs.xkcd.com

Tangentally related


///Han shot first!
////"Sorry about the mess."
 
2014-07-22 11:48:18 PM  

The Man With Crazy Super Animal Powers: BeepBeepMeep: WOOD TV News...

It's weird. Lots of things in Grand Rapids are "wood" something. It IS the uber-Christian, uber-conservative part of the state, so maybe the obsession with wood is deeper than just a love of oak floors, but yeah... There's a lot of stuff over there with the word or call-sign "wood".

And for the record, WOOD TV 8 sucks. I've never seen a TV news crew hype themselves or their importance as much as WOOD TV 8. They act like they're the glue holding the community together, and without their sensationalist stories, stupid small-pond interviews, and stunning personalities, all of Grand Rapids would descend into fires and cannibalism.


Just wait until their teleprompter breaks..

img.sharetv.com
 
2014-07-23 07:17:48 AM  

krispos42: [imgs.xkcd.com image 255x371]

Tangentally related


///Han shot first!
////"Sorry about the mess."


You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought!
 
2014-07-23 01:34:52 PM  
~Sigh~

Okay, subby, here ya go!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V93_rDhxrXk
 
2014-07-23 03:40:51 PM  
Come out with your hand up!
 
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