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(CNN)   From the Dept. of Never Open Pictures Ever (NOPE): A giant, pincer-laden flying insect has been discovered in China that is, and I quote, "large enough to cover the face of a human adult"   (cnn.com) divider line 124
    More: Scary, specimens  
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18622 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jul 2014 at 2:11 PM (49 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



124 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-07-22 01:53:13 PM  
www.reactiongifs.com
 
2014-07-22 01:55:45 PM  
media3.giphy.com
 
2014-07-22 02:09:39 PM  
reactionimage.org
 
2014-07-22 02:13:10 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-22 02:13:49 PM  
Has Australia been notified? I'm sure they can top it.
 
2014-07-22 02:14:01 PM  
1-media-cdn.foolz.us
 
2014-07-22 02:14:05 PM  
1. Someone tell the Chinese is makes your penis larger.
2. Problem solved.
 
2014-07-22 02:14:11 PM  
this scary-looking insect is also known among entomologists as an indicator of good water quality.

And you say you found this in China, right?
 
2014-07-22 02:14:14 PM  
 
2014-07-22 02:14:15 PM  
NUKE
SITE
ORBIT
 
2014-07-22 02:14:57 PM  
Well I think the only good news we can get from this article is that the insect can only be found in clean water. China is quickly running out of that, so the insect should go extinct soon.
 
2014-07-22 02:15:26 PM  
i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2014-07-22 02:15:32 PM  
blog.openstreetmap.org
 
2014-07-22 02:15:48 PM  
But is it good eatin'?
 
2014-07-22 02:16:03 PM  
i1.kym-cdn.com
 
2014-07-22 02:17:19 PM  
So this is pretty scary. No idea if they bite, at least not from my reading of the article.

i2.cdn.turner.com

rikdanger: [www.reactiongifs.com image 500x281]


See, this one should get the NOPE gifs:

i2.cdn.turner.com

F*ck bees. I would punch every bee in the face. I mean ... if it weren't half the size of my hand.
 
2014-07-22 02:18:23 PM  
If the water is slightly contaminated, the giant dobsonfly will move on to seek cleaner waters.

PISS IN EVERYTHING!!!

Everything?

31.media.tumblr.com

EVERYTHING!
 
2014-07-22 02:18:44 PM  

Nadie_AZ: So this is pretty scary. No idea if they bite, at least not from my reading of the article.

[i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]

rikdanger: [www.reactiongifs.com image 500x281]

See, this one should get the NOPE gifs:

[i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]

F*ck bees. I would punch every bee in the face. I mean ... if it weren't half the size of my hand.


I'm pretty sure that's a Cicada Killer. Not a bee.
 
2014-07-22 02:18:44 PM  
I think I've seen one of those during a bad acid trip
 
2014-07-22 02:18:46 PM  
And just what sauce did the Chinese use to cook it with?
 
2014-07-22 02:19:18 PM  
i77.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-22 02:19:45 PM  
They look more filling than the scorpion or grub kababs.
 
2014-07-22 02:20:32 PM  

farkingismybusiness: Nadie_AZ: So this is pretty scary. No idea if they bite, at least not from my reading of the article.

[i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]

rikdanger: [www.reactiongifs.com image 500x281]

See, this one should get the NOPE gifs:

[i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]

F*ck bees. I would punch every bee in the face. I mean ... if it weren't half the size of my hand.

I'm pretty sure that's a Cicada Killer. Not a bee.


Uhh, nope.
 
2014-07-22 02:20:33 PM  
splitlevel.org
www.dvdactive.com
 
2014-07-22 02:21:13 PM  
I thought insects of a certain size were selected against due to the limited oxygen in the atmosphere.  I would have expected something this large to not exist.  I wonder what the current limit actually is?
 
2014-07-22 02:21:40 PM  
I'm moderately impressed that some Chinese person opted to take it to a scientist for identification rather than eating it, turning it into some kind of backwoods medical treatment, or hauling ass, which is what I would have done.
 
2014-07-22 02:21:47 PM  
Aw fark China already has Cazadors.
 
2014-07-22 02:22:13 PM  

Relatively Obscure: Aw fark China already has Cazadors.


Yep. I sure hope they don't have rad scorps or deathclaws.
 
2014-07-22 02:22:33 PM  
Residents of New Jersey relax.  The humongous pincher-laden bug is very sensitive to its environment and will only live where there is clean water.
 
2014-07-22 02:23:17 PM  
TV's Vinnie: And just what sauce did the Chinese use to cook it with?

this one was found in Szechuan province, so you know it had a good spice.
 
2014-07-22 02:25:17 PM  

Nadie_AZ: F*ck bees. I would punch every bee in the face. I mean ... if it weren't half the size of my hand.


I have no problem with honey bees or bumble bees. Our flower bed runs right up to our front door, so coming in and out of the house during the warmer months means having those guys buzz around you, yet they don't bother you. Hell, bumble bees practically apologize to you for flying into your leg. "Oh, you're not a flower, sorry man".

Hornets and wasps, though? They can fark right off.
 
2014-07-22 02:25:29 PM  
I'm not normally one of those people who gets afraid of internet pictures, but DAMN!  That thing is freakin' ugly and weird.
 
2014-07-22 02:25:39 PM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2014-07-22 02:25:53 PM  

Flakeloaf: this scary-looking insect is also known among entomologists as an indicator of good water quality.

And you say you found this in China, right?


It makes a sort of sense - maybe everything is too afraid of the bug to piss in the water.
 
2014-07-22 02:26:28 PM  

Nadie_AZ: So this is pretty scary. No idea if they bite, at least not from my reading of the article.

[i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]

rikdanger: [www.reactiongifs.com image 500x281]

See, this one should get the NOPE gifs:

[i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]

F*ck bees. I would punch every bee in the face. I mean ... if it weren't half the size of my hand.


From what i remember about the dobsonfly, the females have short pinchers which can deliver a painful bite. The male's pinchers are elongated and not nearly as strong to cause much harm.
 
2014-07-22 02:26:43 PM  
I'm just saying that I've never before felt inclined to carry around a machete or sword until now.
 
2014-07-22 02:26:56 PM  
Actually very cool!  But I do love "Text is now purples"  solution to eradicate cause you know that it would absolutely work. :
1. Someone tell the Chinese is makes your penis larger.
2. Problem solved.
 
2014-07-22 02:27:47 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-22 02:28:05 PM  
Pretty sure these guys were featured in the second act of The Mist.
 
2014-07-22 02:28:05 PM  
Ptthhttt.

Meganeura is a genus of extinct insects from the Carboniferous period approximately 300 million years ago, which resembled and are related to the present-day dragonflies. With wingspans of up to 65 cm (25.6 in), M. monyi is one of the largest known flying insect species

3 times as large. Apparently, they died out when oxygen levels dropped.
 
2014-07-22 02:29:31 PM  
img.fark.net

No worries, she's got this.
 
2014-07-22 02:30:08 PM  
i216.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-22 02:30:11 PM  
You want to know how wildfires start?  Someone sees one of those out in wild is how.

That's a big ball of NOPE
 
2014-07-22 02:30:12 PM  

Prey4reign: Residents of New Jersey relax.  The humongous pincher-laden bug is very sensitive to its environment and will only live where there is clean water.

Feh, We have 51 species of mosquito. A little thing like that won't scare us. Come here, cutie pie.
MY EYES! MY EYES!
 
2014-07-22 02:30:34 PM  
Fools, all of you.  Judging  a book by its cover.  I think it wants to be friends and I'm pretty sure it probably grants wishes.

Hey Flappy Joe, I come in peace.  See, it's friendly and it really does fit comfortably on my faAAAAAAARGGAAAAHHHHHH I WISH YOU WOULD STOP FEEDING ON MY EYES!
 
2014-07-22 02:32:41 PM  

Killer Cars: Nadie_AZ: F*ck bees. I would punch every bee in the face. I mean ... if it weren't half the size of my hand.

I have no problem with honey bees or bumble bees. Our flower bed runs right up to our front door, so coming in and out of the house during the warmer months means having those guys buzz around you, yet they don't bother you. Hell, bumble bees practically apologize to you for flying into your leg. "Oh, you're not a flower, sorry man".

Hornets and wasps, though? They can fark right off.


The female carpenter bees are black; male carpenter bees are golden. The males are cool but the females have stingers and sometimes sting.

One of the most beautiful living things...the male carpenter bee

www.beelovehawaii.com

I fished one out of lake one day thinking it was dead but took a chance on it. Came back the next day and it was stiff as a board. Picked it up in my hand, looked at it a while and the thing started moving. It eventually warmed up enough and took off.
 
2014-07-22 02:35:00 PM  

Jiro Dreams Of McRibs: Killer Cars: Nadie_AZ: F*ck bees. I would punch every bee in the face. I mean ... if it weren't half the size of my hand.

I have no problem with honey bees or bumble bees. Our flower bed runs right up to our front door, so coming in and out of the house during the warmer months means having those guys buzz around you, yet they don't bother you. Hell, bumble bees practically apologize to you for flying into your leg. "Oh, you're not a flower, sorry man".

Hornets and wasps, though? They can fark right off.

The female carpenter bees are black; male carpenter bees are golden. The males are cool but the females have stingers and sometimes sting.

One of the most beautiful living things...the male carpenter bee

[www.beelovehawaii.com image 850x308]

I fished one out of lake one day thinking it was dead but took a chance on it. Came back the next day and it was stiff as a board. Picked it up in my hand, looked at it a while and the thing started moving. It eventually warmed up enough and took off.


He looks like he is sitting on a snake head.
 
2014-07-22 02:35:11 PM  
I've found the larvae of these things in creeks and rivers on occasion - freaked me the hell out.

static.squarespace.com
 
2014-07-22 02:35:15 PM  
randomgif.com
 
2014-07-22 02:36:58 PM  

Nadie_AZ: So this is pretty scary. No idea if they bite, at least not from my reading of the article.

[i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]

rikdanger: [www.reactiongifs.com image 500x281]

See, this one should get the NOPE gifs:

[i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]

F*ck bees. I would punch every bee in the face. I mean ... if it weren't half the size of my hand.


Is that one of those insane Japanese wasps?  If it is, I second the motion.  Those things are no effing joke.  I'm scared of Japanese people just because they settled an island with those things on it.  And they didn't have guns when they started.
 
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