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(AZ Family)   Don't you hate it when you buy a house at an auction sight unseen only to discover 79 cats living inside it? Yeah, me too   (azfamily.com) divider line 53
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3594 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jul 2014 at 1:59 PM (35 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-22 12:16:37 PM  
simpsonswiki.com
 
2014-07-22 02:02:02 PM  
For some reason I read that as "horse" the first time around and was really, really confused.  And disgusted.
 
2014-07-22 02:02:27 PM  
Big bowl of antifreeze will solve the immediate problem in just a day or so.

/clean up afterward will still be a biatch, but.....
 
2014-07-22 02:05:42 PM  
www.hebdenbridgechessclub.co.uk
...now, they only eat cat...
 
2014-07-22 02:06:49 PM  
Was one of the animals named Top Cat?
 
2014-07-22 02:07:49 PM  
Can you even clean away that stink, or do you just have to gut the house?
 
2014-07-22 02:07:49 PM  
The house I live in had 13 cats in it when I bought it.  I think there were 6 'house' cats upstairs and 7 'rescue' cats in the basement.  It was about a $2000 price reduction per cat off of what the house could have sold for.
 
2014-07-22 02:08:36 PM  
are you kidding me?  79 FREE cats?!

i1207.photobucket.com
 
2014-07-22 02:08:50 PM  
Selling point: "I got sooo much pussy in this house!"
 
2014-07-22 02:09:22 PM  
media.azfamily.com
 
2014-07-22 02:12:47 PM  
I distinctly remember paying for 80.
 
2014-07-22 02:14:41 PM  

thornhill: Can you even clean away that stink, or do you just have to gut the house?


Burn it to the ground.
 
2014-07-22 02:14:48 PM  
Hope the auction "winner" got a good deal, because it sounds like the only value is the land, after the house is demolished and rubble carted away.
 
2014-07-22 02:15:03 PM  

Glendale: [media.azfamily.com image 600x338]


"I got your 'Hakuna Matada' right here.

spooky
 
2014-07-22 02:15:45 PM  

chevydeuce: Big bowl of antifreeze will solve the immediate problem in just a day or so.

/clean up afterward will still be a biatch, but.....


I was thinking a python, but your way is probably required less gorillas later.
 
2014-07-22 02:15:45 PM  

Gary-L: thornhill: Can you even clean away that stink, or do you just have to gut the house?

Burn it to the ground.


Yup. Cat urine is the absolute worst smell to get rid of.
 
2014-07-22 02:17:33 PM  
At least they did find two autistic men in the basement.
 
2014-07-22 02:23:44 PM  
I only wish I had the kind of cash to throw around that I'd buy a house sight unseen.

/it would be worth it for the initial squee of SO MANY KITTIES! followed by the horror of So. Many. Kitties....
 
2014-07-22 02:27:44 PM  

big pig peaches: At least they did find two autistic men in the basement.


Score! You could take them to Vegas and let them win the money back that you wasted on the house!
 
2014-07-22 02:29:12 PM  

usttsdw: Gary-L: thornhill: Can you even clean away that stink, or do you just have to gut the house?

Burn it to the ground.

Yup. Cat urine is the absolute worst smell to get rid of.


Ok, so remove all drywall, flooring, subfloor, etc, etc.  The buyers will have to gut the house entirely.  Let's hope that no one stole the plumbing or wiring, that's expensive to replace, drywall and flooring is usually doable.  Whole place will have to be coated in Kilz at the minimum and that's hoping that there's no mold or additional environmental contaminants floating around or coating any surfaces.

/ex-property preservation tech, saw this too many times to count, hope the house is otherwise structurally sound, otherwise these people paid for a big white elephant that will cost them a fortune.  And, demo is not cheap, either. I wish them luck.
 
2014-07-22 02:29:13 PM  
The former owner's three cats that pissed in the basement are bad enough.
 
2014-07-22 02:31:59 PM  

chevydeuce: Big bowl of antifreeze will solve the immediate problem in just a day or so.

/clean up afterward will still be a biatch, but.....


I was thinking some sort of 'tragic' carbon monoxide build up... and I would be finding the 'remains' of 79 cats before the press found out about it...
 
2014-07-22 02:33:23 PM  

thornhill: Can you even clean away that stink, or do you just have to gut the house?



Depends on what they got it for.  May take some extra cash and a few extra cases of febreeze / borax.
Anyone know the full address?  Looks like an OK floorplan from the outside.
 
2014-07-22 02:35:38 PM  
Honestly, if you buy a house unseen over the internet - think about it like a storage unit auction. You're getting the contents, good or bad.
 
2014-07-22 02:36:06 PM  
Actually, according to the will, the cats own the house. You'd be their tenants!
 
2014-07-22 02:40:25 PM  
Better than finding 79 dead cats. only a little better.
 
2014-07-22 02:41:22 PM  
The next door neighbor should have called animal control five months ago.
 
2014-07-22 02:42:07 PM  

ZzeusS: thornhill: Can you even clean away that stink, or do you just have to gut the house?


Depends on what they got it for.  May take some extra cash and a few extra cases of febreeze / borax.
Anyone know the full address?  Looks like an OK floorplan from the outside.


Trying to use Febreeze and Borax on cat urine would be like battling King Kong with a fly swatter. That stuff seeps through concrete, you can strip the house bare to its bones, and you will still be able to smell it. Any of the enzymatic cleaners on the market like Nature's Miracle will at best, cover up the odor, but usually just leave you with an awful cat urine chemical hybrid smell that is only slightly less bad than the cat urine itself.
 
2014-07-22 02:42:45 PM  
img.fark.net

Unimpressed.
 
2014-07-22 02:43:44 PM  

Somaticasual: Honestly, if you buy a house unseen over the internet - think about it like a storage unit auction. You're getting the contents, good or bad.


Yep!


coolandcollected.com
 
2014-07-22 02:44:44 PM  

thornhill: Can you even clean away that stink, or do you just have to gut the house?


Gut it, and even then it will be in the floor joists and studs if they've been peeing there long enough.

Burn it down and start over.
 
hej
2014-07-22 02:45:19 PM  

thornhill: Can you even clean away that stink, or do you just have to gut the house?


most likely would need to replace the floorboards and spray the joists with Kilz.
 
2014-07-22 02:49:25 PM  
If they've gotten into the walls (they probably have) then there's no saving any bit of the place.
 
2014-07-22 02:49:30 PM  

spman: ZzeusS: thornhill: Can you even clean away that stink, or do you just have to gut the house?


Depends on what they got it for.  May take some extra cash and a few extra cases of febreeze / borax.
Anyone know the full address?  Looks like an OK floorplan from the outside.

Trying to use Febreeze and Borax on cat urine would be like battling King Kong with a fly swatter. That stuff seeps through concrete, you can strip the house bare to its bones, and you will still be able to smell it. Any of the enzymatic cleaners on the market like Nature's Miracle will at best, cover up the odor, but usually just leave you with an awful cat urine chemical hybrid smell that is only slightly less bad than the cat urine itself.


Kilz.  That will get rid of it, but very pricey and when I said that the whole house would have to be coated in it, I wasn't kidding.  We're talking floorboards and joists here, not just one area of one room and that could run them into the multiK range of price. It does work, though is expensive. I'm not saying I have a lot of sympathy for these folks (I don't) but whatever bank was holding the property before the auction should have had better contractors out there to preserve it.  Ah well, get what you pay for...
 
2014-07-22 02:54:32 PM  
Technically, the cats own the house and you're their tenant.
 
2014-07-22 02:59:46 PM  
Why would you ever buy something as big as a house "unseen?"
 
2014-07-22 03:03:23 PM  

ZzeusS: thornhill: Can you even clean away that stink, or do you just have to gut the house?


Depends on what they got it for.  May take some extra cash and a few extra cases of febreeze / borax.
Anyone know the full address?  Looks like an OK floorplan from the outside.


Yes, but I won't post it here directly.  Fark posting of personal info policy, yada yada.

Go to google maps, first search "gilbert, az", then punch in the search box "1689 e mi" and choose the first one in the list.

Looks like a slab house.  Remove carpet, hose it out with bleach, leave the windows open for a year.
 
2014-07-22 03:07:12 PM  

Combustion: Why would you ever buy something as big as a house "unseen?"


I would at a tax sale for an amount of money I consider affordable without supplemental financing. Usually they're worth the wood and copper in the walls and the land the house is built on.
 
2014-07-22 03:12:14 PM  

Gary-L: thornhill: Can you even clean away that stink, or do you just have to gut the house?

Burn it to the ground.


blog.openstreetmap.org

/when cat pee is involved, it really is the only way to be sure
 
2014-07-22 03:18:09 PM  

Ed Becker: [img.fark.net image 160x240]

Unimpressed.


can't stand that douche... or his wife with the weird voice (sounds like a canadian drag queen).

he shows up on the job site (in some insanely customized car... different one each episode) to argue with the hispanic subcontractor over $100 in labor or materials.. then leaves.. .presumably to go purchase another insanely customized sports car...
 
2014-07-22 03:42:27 PM  
I looked at a house that was a cat lady house.  It is, to date, the single best laid out kitchen I have ever seen.  Beautiful French kitchen with a gas stove on the center island, in-wall ovens, dishwasher, and wet bar on the island.  Glorious.  The countertop was dated and all of the appliances needed replacing but the bones were there plus a copper exhaust hood over the stove and for about $5000 you could have my dream kitchen.

We looked at the house in about 20 second intervals.  We had to hold our breath because the 60 year old carpet had been destroyed by dozens of cats in the time between old lady's death and old lady's kids evicting cats.

/It was under contract by the time we saw it.
//I wanted it anyway.
 
2014-07-22 03:55:11 PM  
Wood chippers are cheap to rent for a day.
 
2014-07-22 04:03:05 PM  

lackadaisicalfreakshow: /it would be worth it for the initial squee of SO MANY KITTIES! followed by the horror of So. Many. Kitties....


That would be my reaction. The initial rush of squee would turn into horror pretty quickly, I'm sure. :(
 
2014-07-22 04:03:05 PM  
"Sight unseen" makes no farking sense. "Site unseen", or else find a completely different and useful phrase. Who buys something "Hearing unheard", or "Smell unsmelled"?
 
2014-07-22 04:06:45 PM  
My roomate would see the cats and pay double. She will be a crazy cat lady one day.

thornhill: Can you even clean away that stink, or do you just have to gut the house?


I saw one of those house flipping shows where they had bought a cat house that had its own circle of life. It had cats, rats and roaches. The cats ate the rats and roaches, the rats ate dead cats and roaches and the roaches ate dead cats and rats. They stripped out everything and IIRC had to put in new stairs. The tore the walls to the frames and sprayed some stuff on them that was supposed to eliminate the oder.
 
2014-07-22 04:14:56 PM  

barefoot in the head: "Sight unseen" makes no farking sense. "Site unseen", or else find a completely different and useful phrase. Who buys something "Hearing unheard", or "Smell unsmelled"?


Maybe they were planning on gutting or tearing down no matter what.
 
2014-07-22 04:52:24 PM  
Ed Becker: [img.fark.net image 160x240]

Unimpressed.

Sofa King Smart: can't stand that douche... or his wife with the weird voice (sounds like a canadian drag queen).

he shows up on the job site (in some insanely customized car... different one each episode) to argue with the hispanic subcontractor over $100 in labor or materials.. then leaves.. .presumably to go purchase another insanely customized sports car...


Husband:  I'm buying this cheap-ass house in a bad-ass neighborhood and reno it with cheap-ass materials so I can sell it for a killin'!

Wife:  Whaaaaaaa!   You're cheap!  You're cheap!  I can't buy anything nice for this house because you're cheap!  But I'm going to buy nice stuff for this house anyway because you're cheap!

Husband:  Whaaaaa!  What the fark is the matter with you?!  You bought nice stuff for this house?!!  I can't afford this!!  I can't make a profit!  You're killing my business.  Whaaaaaa!

*Reno is done*

Husband to Realtor:  You better sell this farker like yesterday or else EVERYBODY DIES!

*House is sold for a profit*

Husband to wife:  Let me take you out to dinner and feed you to show everyone that I'm not a blazing, farkin' bastard of a douche bag 24/7.
 
2014-07-22 08:34:04 PM  

SansNeural: ZzeusS: thornhill: Can you even clean away that stink, or do you just have to gut the house?


Depends on what they got it for.  May take some extra cash and a few extra cases of febreeze / borax.
Anyone know the full address?  Looks like an OK floorplan from the outside.

Yes, but I won't post it here directly.  Fark posting of personal info policy, yada yada.

Go to google maps, first search "gilbert, az", then punch in the search box "1689 e mi" and choose the first one in the list.

Looks like a slab house.  Remove carpet, hose it out with bleach, leave the windows open for a year.


I think you'd be safe as the twitter feed from the police that is in the article clearly states the "1600 block of milky way" and there is a picture with the house number clearly visible.
 
2014-07-22 10:03:18 PM  

browneye: Ed Becker: [img.fark.net image 160x240]

Unimpressed.

Sofa King Smart: can't stand that douche... or his wife with the weird voice (sounds like a canadian drag queen).

he shows up on the job site (in some insanely customized car... different one each episode) to argue with the hispanic subcontractor over $100 in labor or materials.. then leaves.. .presumably to go purchase another insanely customized sports car...

Husband:  I'm buying this cheap-ass house in a bad-ass neighborhood and reno it with cheap-ass materials so I can sell it for a killin'!

Wife:  Whaaaaaaa!   You're cheap!  You're cheap!  I can't buy anything nice for this house because you're cheap!  But I'm going to buy nice stuff for this house anyway because you're cheap!

Husband:  Whaaaaa!  What the fark is the matter with you?!  You bought nice stuff for this house?!!  I can't afford this!!  I can't make a profit!  You're killing my business.  Whaaaaaa!

*Reno is done*

Husband to Realtor:  You better sell this farker like yesterday or else EVERYBODY DIES!

*House is sold for a profit*

Husband to wife:  Let me take you out to dinner and feed you to show everyone that I'm not a blazing, farkin' bastard of a douche bag 24/7.


I couldn't remember their names... did some googling... the show is 'Flipping Vegas'... and he (Scott Yancey) has his own website... and actually talks about his weakness for cars...
http://www.scottyancey.com/whats-with-me-and-my-cars/
 
2014-07-22 10:18:57 PM  
An auction filled with cats would not be pleasant.
 
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