Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Huffington Post)   Egypt steps up for humanity and proves once and for all that John Kerry is not a robot   (huffingtonpost.com ) divider line 27
    More: Interesting, Egypt, Sisi, Jennifer Psaki, cashier's checks, State Department  
•       •       •

5554 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jul 2014 at 3:15 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



27 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2014-07-22 11:59:34 AM  
I don't believe you
 
2014-07-22 12:19:48 PM  
Footage taken at the Egyptian presidential palace and seen by Reuters showed an official briefly raising a handheld metal-detecting wand to the lower part of Kerry's jacket before waving him through for the meeting.

Little do they that John Kerry keeps several nylon fiber blades secreted about his person at all times.
 
2014-07-22 03:20:58 PM  
Umm, I think this is what's known as an intentional slight.
 
2014-07-22 03:20:59 PM  

Sybarite: secreted


Every time I see this I think that it the process of secretion and get really confused, as opposed to concealing or secreting an object.

TLDR I'm bad with words.

/I'd probably pay money to see Kerry secrete fiber blades
 
2014-07-22 03:21:19 PM  
They just want to make sure he wasn't recording. It's well known that they want to release an official Egyptian presidential live performance, and Kerry is a notorious bootlegger. He can often be seen blasting his recordings in his Trans Am while scarfing down a lukewarm Hamms.
 
2014-07-22 03:25:40 PM  
There was a female state department official that got searched by a foreign ambassadorial staff. After he found out about it, a highly-placed CIA guy walked back up to the security detail and told them very clearly what he would personally do to each and every one of them if they ever laid their hands on her again.

I think it was in Iraq but I can't remember the guy's name. I don't think it was Armitage. Oh well.
 
2014-07-22 03:26:30 PM  
"Hey why don't we intentionally harass the guy who represents the country paying our pathetic little junta's bills"

//We won't accept the possibility of another country taking over that job if we abandon them.
 
2014-07-22 03:27:31 PM  

Orgasmatron138: They just want to make sure he wasn't recording. It's well known that they want to release an official Egyptian presidential live performance, and Kerry is a notorious bootlegger. He can often be seen blasting his recordings in his Trans Am while scarfing down a lukewarm Hamms.


Pretty sure that would be Joe Biden.
 
2014-07-22 03:32:51 PM  
Everyone knows hemimetal alloys are nonmagnetic.
 
2014-07-22 03:33:09 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Orgasmatron138: They just want to make sure he wasn't recording. It's well known that they want to release an official Egyptian presidential live performance, and Kerry is a notorious bootlegger. He can often be seen blasting his recordings in his Trans Am while scarfing down a lukewarm Hamms.

Pretty sure that would be Joe Biden.


How can anyone tell the difference?
 
2014-07-22 03:33:22 PM  
I remain unconvinced.
 
2014-07-22 03:33:24 PM  
Yeah, this is a weird one... Why is Egypt trying to insult us now? Did I miss another memo? I gotta start having breakfast at the office, I guess.
 
2014-07-22 03:34:54 PM  

Sybarite: Footage taken at the Egyptian presidential palace and seen by Reuters showed an official briefly raising a handheld metal-detecting wand to the lower part of Kerry's jacket before waving him through for the meeting.

Little do they that John Kerry keeps several nylon fiber blades secreted about his person at all times.


This.
 
2014-07-22 03:40:04 PM  

worlddan: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Orgasmatron138: They just want to make sure he wasn't recording. It's well known that they want to release an official Egyptian presidential live performance, and Kerry is a notorious bootlegger. He can often be seen blasting his recordings in his Trans Am while scarfing down a lukewarm Hamms.

Pretty sure that would be Joe Biden.

How can anyone tell the difference?


Kerry's hair didn't start out on his butt.
 
2014-07-22 03:41:08 PM  
Should have checked him for a brain.
 
2014-07-22 03:41:52 PM  
Mikey1969: Yeah, this is a weird one... Why is Egypt trying to insult us now? Did I miss another memo? I gotta start having breakfast at the office, I guess.

Easy - they thought "The Interview" was about the Egyptian President instead of Best Korea's Kim Jung Un, and they mistook James Franco for John Kerry.....
 
2014-07-22 04:01:02 PM  
Legal trivia question:

So the Queen of the United Kingdom does not carry a passport, because passports from her realms are issued in her name.

Passports of the United States are issued in the name of the Secretary of State. Does the SoS have to carry a passport? The President does, but passports aren't issued in his name.
 
2014-07-22 04:04:08 PM  

worlddan: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Orgasmatron138: They just want to make sure he wasn't recording. It's well known that they want to release an official Egyptian presidential live performance, and Kerry is a notorious bootlegger. He can often be seen blasting his recordings in his Trans Am while scarfing down a lukewarm Hamms.

Pretty sure that would be Joe Biden.

How can anyone tell the difference?


Biden is 6' tall. Kerry is 6'4.
Biden has a personality, and employs inflection in his vocalizations to clue the listener in on his emotional state of mind; Kerry is bland and atonal.
Biden is cool enough to make tough-as-nails bikers his biatch, Kerry looks like a dork even while windsurfing.
 
2014-07-22 04:05:59 PM  

Lord Dimwit: Legal trivia question:

So the Queen of the United Kingdom does not carry a passport, because passports from her realms are issued in her name.

Passports of the United States are issued in the name of the Secretary of State. Does the SoS have to carry a passport? The President does, but passports aren't issued in his name.


www.thatsyogarbage.com
 
2014-07-22 04:16:05 PM  
Checking high-ranking foreign diplomats for weapons? Farking sissy.
 
2014-07-22 04:18:22 PM  

BigNumber12: Checking high-ranking foreign diplomats for weapons? Farking sissy.


Exactly. That hasn't been a problem since the tenure of Secretary of State Joe Pesci.

/ that guy got stuff done
 
2014-07-22 04:18:31 PM  

ikanreed: "Hey why don't we intentionally harass the guy who represents the country paying our pathetic little junta's bills"



Fortunately, Asimov's laws cover that.
 
2014-07-22 04:35:38 PM  

snocone: Should have checked him for a brain.


Bless your heart.
 
2014-07-22 04:46:39 PM  

worlddan: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Orgasmatron138: They just want to make sure he wasn't recording. It's well known that they want to release an official Egyptian presidential live performance, and Kerry is a notorious bootlegger. He can often be seen blasting his recordings in his Trans Am while scarfing down a lukewarm Hamms.

Pretty sure that would be Joe Biden.

How can anyone tell the difference?


Biden has personality?
 
2014-07-22 05:23:50 PM  

grumpfuff: worlddan: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Orgasmatron138: They just want to make sure he wasn't recording. It's well known that they want to release an official Egyptian presidential live performance, and Kerry is a notorious bootlegger. He can often be seen blasting his recordings in his Trans Am while scarfing down a lukewarm Hamms.

Pretty sure that would be Joe Biden.

How can anyone tell the difference?

Biden has personality?


`cause you got personality
Walk, personality
Talk, Personality
Smile, Personality
Charm, personality
Love, personality
 
2014-07-22 05:52:39 PM  

Snarfangel: ikanreed: "Hey why don't we intentionally harass the guy who represents the country paying our pathetic little junta's bills"


Fortunately, Asimov's laws cover that.


i.imgur.com
 
2014-07-22 07:35:24 PM  
Kerry has a little hatch in his abdomen; otherwise, you can't tell those androids from the real thing.
 
Displayed 27 of 27 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report