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(Daily Mail)   Woman runs over motorcyclist after taking the song "Jesus Take The Wheel" a bit too literally   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 59
    More: Scary  
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5692 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jul 2014 at 8:48 AM (21 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-22 07:44:29 AM  
"Let me take the wheel, my child"

"I dunno, God..."

"Have faith in me. I am here to help you. Feel my presence in your heart"

"Okay, but please be careful--"

*THUMP*

"God DAMMIT!"

"LOL"

"You're a real dick, God"
 
2014-07-22 08:06:23 AM  
i3.kym-cdn.com
 
2014-07-22 08:37:51 AM  

xanadian: [i3.kym-cdn.com image 599x449]


Someone get the lights. We're done here.
 
2014-07-22 08:54:10 AM  
Prionda???

Does she have a brother named Prius?
 
2014-07-22 08:57:13 AM  

xanadian: [i3.kym-cdn.com image 599x449]


Came for this, leaving satisfied.
 
hej [TotalFark]
2014-07-22 08:59:55 AM  
How long until this is a legitimate defense in the US?
 
2014-07-22 08:59:59 AM  
Surely her insurance will pay for damages incurred while God was at the wheel.
 
2014-07-22 09:00:01 AM  
I love how the motorcyclist also says "well, if this is how God wants this to happen," confirming a lesser version of the same delusion.
 
2014-07-22 09:01:56 AM  

Prey4reign: Surely her insurance will pay for damages incurred while God was at the wheel.


Most insurance doesn't cover Acts of God.
 
2014-07-22 09:03:15 AM  

monoski: Prionda???

Does she have a brother named Prius?


Two younger sisters. The middle one is Onda, and the youngest is Postonda.
 
2014-07-22 09:04:00 AM  

monoski: Prionda???

Does she have a brother named Prius?


You mean, Hondus?
 
2014-07-22 09:05:20 AM  

Joe Peanut: monoski: Prionda???

Does she have a brother named Prius?

You mean, Hondus?


Escaloyota.
 
2014-07-22 09:07:23 AM  
Excuse me. I'd... just like to ask a question.  What does god need with a Pontiac Grand Prix?
 
2014-07-22 09:08:51 AM  

Jaden Smith First of His Name: Joe Peanut: monoski: Prionda???

Does she have a brother named Prius?

You mean, Hondus?

Escaloyota.


Maybe her cousin is Mercedez from a few days ago?
 
2014-07-22 09:09:25 AM  
God was distracted, he was texting Sarah Palin at the time.
 
2014-07-22 09:09:38 AM  

Plant Rights Activist: Excuse me. I'd... just like to ask a question.  What does god need with a Pontiac Grand Prix?


He gave Janis his Mer-cedes Benz
 
2014-07-22 09:10:30 AM  

hej: How long until this is a legitimate defense in the US?


It's called "religious freedom," and it seems to be gaining ground.
 
2014-07-22 09:11:04 AM  
Wars, murder, natural disasters, horribly painful death by disease, getting run over etc... God is the greatest, most loving being in the universe. Don't worry. It's just part of his plan.
 
2014-07-22 09:11:08 AM  

monoski: Jaden Smith First of His Name: Joe Peanut: monoski: Prionda???

Does she have a brother named Prius?

You mean, Hondus?

Escaloyota.

Maybe her cousin is Mercedez from a few days ago?


God really has it out for this family.
 
2014-07-22 09:11:13 AM  
t2.gstatic.com
 
2014-07-22 09:15:03 AM  
God is your friggin CO-PILOT!
 
2014-07-22 09:23:53 AM  
Maybe she should have checked to see if God had passed Driver's Ed and had a valid license.
 
2014-07-22 09:25:25 AM  
I don't recall any deity getting a Masters of MicroManagement from Wharton, Harvard or Columbia. That would have been on the news.
 
2014-07-22 09:29:26 AM  
That motorcycle ride was one lucky fark.

People who do as colossally stupid things as this dips hit should be killed.  Then she can meet Jesus.
 
2014-07-22 09:29:34 AM  
Maybe the man was guilty of something and God wanted to punish him. Maybe he was wearing a leather belt on his jeans, who knows.
 
2014-07-22 09:31:25 AM  
Obscure?
content.internetvideoarchive.com
 
2014-07-22 09:38:26 AM  

xanadian:


You don't get points in GTA for running people over
 
2014-07-22 09:40:29 AM  

Frug Flapdoodle: Maybe she should have checked to see if God had passed Driver's Ed and had a valid license.


God is over 6.000 years old. She's just lucky there were no farmer's markets around.
 
2014-07-22 09:41:36 AM  

DoctorWhat: I love how the motorcyclist also says "well, if this is how God wants this to happen," confirming a lesser version of the same delusion.


Jaden Smith First of His Name: Joe Peanut: monoski: Prionda???

Does she have a brother named Prius?

You mean, Hondus?

Escaloyota.


I've seen one of these once.  Texting while driving is always a bad idea.
 
2014-07-22 09:41:52 AM  
The problem was he wasn't familiar with the Grand Prix, having never driven one before. Remember, the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury. He also had a Honda but doesn't like to talk about it because in the Gospel of John He said, "For I did not speak of my own Accord."
 
2014-07-22 09:44:30 AM  
How the fark can a POS Pontiac Grand Prix run over a farking Harley Davidson?
 
2014-07-22 09:45:04 AM  
Maybe the motorcycle's exhaust wasn't loud enough for Jesus to hear it
 
2014-07-22 09:49:23 AM  
Did I hit him, father?
No, but I got him with the door.
 
2014-07-22 09:59:04 AM  
Instead of crushing Oliveri's head, which would have meant sure death, it motored over his torso and left him with relatively minor injuries.


Good thing there's nothing important in there!
 
2014-07-22 10:04:24 AM  

Clint_Torres: How the fark can a POS Pontiac Grand Prix run over a farking Harley Davidson?


Since he only had minor injuries consistent with being knocked over, I doubt her car went OVER the Harley.  I'm not sure how you literally posted that.

/o.-
 
2014-07-22 10:18:46 AM  
Wow... Just wow. And people wonder why I'm anti religious. I want no connection whatsoever to anything to do with stuff like this. It would embarass me to no end. Also, they need to have psychotherapy for people like her, whether she wants it or not. A belief in god that strong that she thinks he can take the wheel has to be some kind of deep set psychosis. I know people would disagree, but the evidence here shows that kind of mental disorder she has is a danger to others. Just ask the guy on the motorcycle. And yes, I believe that a belief in god as devout as hers is a mental disorder. May not be true but who cares, I call it like I see it.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-07-22 10:19:47 AM  

The Larch: Frug Flapdoodle: Maybe she should have checked to see if God had passed Driver's Ed and had a valid license.

God is over 6.000 years old. She's just lucky there were no farmer's markets around.


Well, if he's not even seven yet then he probably doesn't have a license.
 
2014-07-22 10:23:11 AM  
Charged with:
Driving while woman
 
2014-07-22 10:24:01 AM  

Dirty J1: Wow... Just wow. And people wonder why I'm anti religious. I want no connection whatsoever to anything to do with stuff like this. It would embarass me to no end. Also, they need to have psychotherapy for people like her, whether she wants it or not. A belief in god that strong that she thinks he can take the wheel has to be some kind of deep set psychosis. I know people would disagree, but the evidence here shows that kind of mental disorder she has is a danger to others. Just ask the guy on the motorcycle. And yes, I believe that a belief in god as devout as hers is a mental disorder. May not be true but who cares, I call it like I see it.


Mental disorder that is assisted by narcotics
 
2014-07-22 10:31:37 AM  

DoctorWhat: I love how the motorcyclist also says "well, if this is how God wants this to happen," confirming a lesser version of the same delusion.


Maybe God isn't multitasking well.
 
2014-07-22 10:38:09 AM  

Dirty J1: Wow... Just wow. And people wonder why I'm anti religious. I want no connection whatsoever to anything to do with stuff like this. It would embarass me to no end. Also, they need to have psychotherapy for people like her, whether she wants it or not. A belief in god that strong that she thinks he can take the wheel has to be some kind of deep set psychosis. I know people would disagree, but the evidence here shows that kind of mental disorder she has is a danger to others. Just ask the guy on the motorcycle. And yes, I believe that a belief in god as devout as hers is a mental disorder. May not be true but who cares, I call it like I see it.


Stuff like this is hilarious to me.

If not "God", she would/could have claimed the radio told her to, her Hitler bobble head figurine, just about anything.  It has NOTHING to do with religion but idiots see "God" and wet themselves and have to state something to the affect of their beliefs.

Hell, can you prove that the guy on the bike wasn't a dick about something in his life and maybe the plan was to shake him up about something... the whole "works in mysterious ways" thing?

shiat happens and if you need to define it within a belief system, you're just as bad as any religious freak.
 
2014-07-22 10:39:18 AM  

WelldeadLink: DoctorWhat: I love how the motorcyclist also says "well, if this is how God wants this to happen," confirming a lesser version of the same delusion.

Maybe God isn't multitasking well.


He was probably busy doing subbie's mom at the same time.
 
2014-07-22 10:49:12 AM  

WelldeadLink: DoctorWhat: I love how the motorcyclist also says "well, if this is how God wants this to happen," confirming a lesser version of the same delusion.

Maybe God isn't multitasking well.


He never has been a good multitasker.

IIRC my bible correctly, the reason Jesus was conceived was that God's cell phone rang and startled him when he was about to pull out.
 
2014-07-22 10:49:49 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: xanadian:

You don't get points in GTA for running people over


I keep my own separate running tally.
 
2014-07-22 11:00:57 AM  

skinink: Proof that God views us the same way Calvin and Hobbes views their toys and that he's pretty bored with his toys at the moment.


I dont know how to break this to you, but Hobbes is a toy
 
2014-07-22 11:04:25 AM  

Dirty J1: Wow... Just wow. And people wonder why I'm anti religious. I want no connection whatsoever to anything to do with stuff like this. It would embarass me to no end. Also, they need to have psychotherapy for people like her, whether she wants it or not. A belief in god that strong that she thinks he can take the wheel has to be some kind of deep set psychosis. I know people would disagree, but the evidence here shows that kind of mental disorder she has is a danger to others. Just ask the guy on the motorcycle. And yes, I believe that a belief in god as devout as hers is a mental disorder. May not be true but who cares, I call it like I see it.


You should probably not listen to the voices in your head that tell you to be embarrassed by what other people do.
 
2014-07-22 11:05:25 AM  

jehovahs witness protection: God is your friggin CO-PILOT!


There is zero evidence Jesus drove or had a license. Don't just hand the friggin wheel over to him.
 
2014-07-22 11:06:38 AM  
Does this circumstance mean that religious people shouldn't drive or that women shouldn't drive?
 
2014-07-22 11:10:39 AM  
People can say we are a christian nation all they want, but when anyone actually follows their religion they get arrested. How many christians say they have faith VS how many are actually willing to let go of the steering wheel when the voices tell them to?
 
2014-07-22 11:11:54 AM  

DoctorWhat: I love how the motorcyclist also says "well, if this is how God wants this to happen," confirming a lesser version of the same delusion.



"Whatever happens, they say afterwards, it must have been Fate. People are always a little confused about this, as they are in the case of miracles. When someone is saved from certain death by a strange concatenation of circumstances, they say that's a miracle. But of course if someone is killed by a freak chain of events : the oil just spilled there, the safety fence just broke there : that must also be a miracle. Just because its not nice doesn't mean its not miraculous."

 Terry Pratchett
 
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