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(DNA Info)   I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of Williamsburg hipster voices suddenly cried out in terror, and suddenly ordered a grande double mocha chip chai decaf soymilk Frappuccino®   (dnainfo.com) divider line 28
    More: Ironic  
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1497 clicks; posted to Business » on 21 Jul 2014 at 9:57 PM (49 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



28 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-07-21 07:53:45 PM  
I only drink coffee from beans that have passed through the digestive tract of free-range civet cats.  Pepe, the 7-year-old illegal immigrant I have chained in the basement, can't grind those beans fast enough for me.
 
2014-07-21 08:25:10 PM  
"I like the burnt flavor," Steffen said. "I spend half my income on it."

Wtf?
 
2014-07-21 09:12:35 PM  
Williamsburg hipsters?

www.novatours.com
 
2014-07-21 10:05:56 PM  
Why do psycho mass shootings have to be at schools and movie theaters?
 
2014-07-21 10:28:04 PM  
That......that was satire right?  Because no one is that douchy.
 
2014-07-21 10:35:02 PM  
"grande double mocha chip chai decaf soymilk Frappuccino" is that even possible?  Maybe I'm not hipster enough but I have never ordered "soymilk" (not sure that's possible all by itself), or decaf (what's the point of ordering coffee then?) , or Frappuccino (because lets be honest, cold coffee is the work of Satan sucking the soul of any pleasure you might get).
 
2014-07-21 10:48:22 PM  

doomjesse: "grande double mocha chip chai decaf soymilk Frappuccino" is that even possible?  Maybe I'm not hipster enough but I have never ordered "soymilk" (not sure that's possible all by itself), or decaf (what's the point of ordering coffee then?) , or Frappuccino (because lets be honest, cold coffee is the work of Satan sucking the soul of any pleasure you might get).


It's a non-dairy coffee slushie. These people don't want coffee, they want coffee-flavored ice cream shakes.
 
2014-07-21 10:48:39 PM  

doomjesse: decaf (what's the point of ordering coffee then


Preach it, brother. It is a foul and bitter drug-delivery system.  Take out the drug and it is merely foul and bitter.  Unless you cloud the taste with tons of sugar and fake-milk, in which case you have earned your Type 2.
 
2014-07-21 10:57:45 PM  
Hey cool, humor revolving around complex orders for a beverage. Make this Humornaut's with extra monkey cheese.
 
2014-07-21 11:08:49 PM  
Kill yourself Hipster! You are feeling ashamed for going to a "corporate location" in Williamsburg, but are also so completely fine with going to Manhattan locations because of convenience that you are even a "Gold" member of that company! Are you doing that to be ironic or do you not understand the concept of actually standing up for what you believe in?! If you feel ashamed of walking to a Williamsburg Starbucks, then DON'T! There are plenty of overpriced coffee houses to choose from in Brooklyn.

FTA: "Chris Lates admitted to feeling slightly ashamed as he walked toward Williamsburg's first Starbucks , which opened Monday.
"I can't believe I'm going into a corporate location," he said.
Lates, 30, lives at Grand Street and Union Avenue, just blocks away from the new outpost located under a luxury condo building at 405-409 Union Ave.
Some have called Starbucks another shot to a neighborhood that became popular for homegrown businesses, and Lates, 30, didn't disagree.
But he is also a Starbucks "Gold" member who frequents Manhattan locations near work and likes the Venti-sizes for iced Americanos, which are larger than the offerings at other places."
 
2014-07-21 11:21:49 PM  
 
2014-07-22 12:58:20 AM  
Frapachinos are liquid crack.
 
2014-07-22 01:12:29 AM  

doofusgumby: Frapachinos are liquid crack.


So, a drink that tastes like ass?

Yeah. That sounds about right.
 
2014-07-22 01:35:55 AM  

Bumblefark: doofusgumby: Frapachinos are liquid crack.

So, a drink that tastes like ass?

Yeah. That sounds about right.


You're obviously a mistake prone youngster. So I'll just hint at Too Much Coffee Man and his experience with rabid trademark sharks.
 
2014-07-22 02:07:29 AM  
I would feel weird too if representatives from a corporate chain store abducted me off the street, marched me into a store at gunpoint, forced me to order from their menu, and then took stole my money to pay for the coffee.
 
2014-07-22 02:29:33 AM  
It's right by the Barcade, which is an amazing place you should go to for great beer and 80's video arcade games
 
2014-07-22 09:15:30 AM  
"I can't believe I'm going into a corporate location," he said.

Yet there you are.  God I hate hypocrisy.
 
2014-07-22 10:00:40 AM  
What a bunch of smug, pretentious, hipster douchebags.
 
2014-07-22 10:35:06 AM  

machoprogrammer: What a bunch of smug, pretentious, hipster douchebags.


There aren't any other kind.
 
2014-07-22 10:49:39 AM  

Mugato: machoprogrammer: What a bunch of smug, pretentious, hipster douchebags.

There aren't any other kind.


Excellent point.
 
2014-07-22 12:46:55 PM  

doomjesse: "grande double mocha chip chai decaf soymilk Frappuccino" is that even possible?


I tried to translate.  I was able to come this far:

Medium sized double-espresso shot in decaffinated chai (which, ew) with soy milk and chocolate chips.  In frozen ice and frothed.

Alternatively, the double might refer to a double-portion size of the chips - which would make more sense if you're actually bothering with 'decaf chai'.

Best guess.
 
2014-07-22 01:06:39 PM  
OK....  I came here to say this:

Hipsters can sit on a spike and die.... slowly and in as ironic a fashion as possible.

Seriously, they can farking die.
 
2014-07-22 03:11:59 PM  

AngryDragon: "I can't believe I'm going into a corporate location," he said.

Yet there you are.  God I hate hypocrisy.


In fact, I'm so distraught that I need to take a pic on my iPhone, upload that to Instagram, and link to my Facebook feed. God, I hate corporations.
 
2014-07-22 03:28:18 PM  
This is literally an article about a Starbuck's opening another store.

Is there something I am missing?

Is it on sacred Indian burial ground?

Did Starbucks kill a bunch of people to gain control of the coffee trade in this place?

WHY DID I JUST WASTE MY LIFE READING THAT ARTICLE?
 
2014-07-22 04:33:13 PM  
Lemme guess, because of Starbucks opening in Williamsburg now hipsters are looking for the next neighborhood they want to invade?
 
2014-07-22 04:34:26 PM  

AngryDragon: "I can't believe I'm going into a corporate location," he said.

Yet there you are.  God I hate hypocrisy.


This.

Mugato: machoprogrammer: What a bunch of smug, pretentious, hipster douchebags.

There aren't any other kind.


That.
 
2014-07-22 05:27:17 PM  
I really don't know people like this in real life and I thought they were an exaggeration made up on the internet but I guess they do exist. I also thought "hipster" was a universal slur, that no one would self identify as a hipster. I was wrong about that too.
 
2014-07-22 05:32:06 PM  

Rwa2play: Lemme guess, because of Starbucks opening in Williamsburg now hipsters are looking for the next neighborhood they want to invade?


Agrees

i.imgur.com
 
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