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(SeattlePI)   As Buddha has said, 'There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.' Admittedly, Buddha never met this guy   (blog.seattlepi.com) divider line 45
    More: Dumbass, burglary, robbery  
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8933 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jul 2014 at 7:11 PM (9 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



45 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-07-21 05:49:39 PM
a suspicious man entered her apartment through an unlocked door, saying he needed to take her laptop upstairs. The woman said, "no," so the man left

How did he know she had a laptop upstairs? Or did he just want to move her downstairs laptop from its current location?
 
2014-07-21 07:20:12 PM
No mugshot?
 
2014-07-21 07:21:53 PM
Those all read like crappy kōans.
 
2014-07-21 07:24:23 PM
Indecisive ignoramus interred. Idiotic incidents indefinitely iced.
 
2014-07-21 07:25:06 PM
WTF did I just read?
 
2014-07-21 07:30:24 PM
ITGIRL! All the bluster- none of the follow through.
 
2014-07-21 07:32:43 PM
He just missed his girlfriend.
cdn2-b.examiner.com
/methed up woman who hid under Seattle couple's bed last week
/tweekers hate eyebrows
 
2014-07-21 07:33:00 PM
A police dog responded to the area

He was walking his beat through the park when the call came in over the radio...
 
2014-07-21 07:36:32 PM
I even caught myself drivin' by convenience stores... that weren't on the way home.
 
2014-07-21 07:37:35 PM
It's no Arcadia Eye, but there was a certain poetry about the article.
 
2014-07-21 07:38:34 PM

skinink: I even caught myself drivin' by convenience stores... that weren't on the way home.


Wasn't easy with that sonofabiatch Reagan in the White House.
 
2014-07-21 07:41:49 PM
He came to a fork in the road and didn't take it. Yogi is unimpressed.
 
2014-07-21 07:42:28 PM

gravy chugging cretin.: It's no Arcata Eye, but there was a certain poetry about the article.


FIFY
http://www.arcataeye.com/
 
2014-07-21 07:43:32 PM

fusillade762: a suspicious man entered her apartment through an unlocked door, saying he needed to take her laptop upstairs. The woman said, "no," so the man left

How did he know she had a laptop upstairs? Or did he just want to move her downstairs laptop from its current location?


And how did he know who she was talking to on the phone later?
 
2014-07-21 07:43:58 PM
"...when an approaching man stuck his hand in his sweats and pointed his finger to imitate a gun."

I had a friend in grade school who always wore sweats and when he stuck his hand in them it wasn't to make it look like a gun.

And if he had a hole in them where all 4 seams met he'd stick a pencil part way in the hole and walk so that it bobbed up and down with each step.

/He was a few sandwiches short of a picnic
//Wondering how he ended up now
 
2014-07-21 07:48:51 PM

Boo_Guy: "...when an approaching man stuck his hand in his sweats and pointed his finger to imitate a gun."

I had a friend in grade school who always wore sweats and when he stuck his hand in them it wasn't to make it look like a gun.

And if he had a hole in them where all 4 seams met he'd stick a pencil part way in the hole and walk so that it bobbed up and down with each step.

/He was a few sandwiches short of a picnic
//Wondering how he ended up now


He's accosting random people in the street and threatening to take ladies' laptops upstairs.
 
2014-07-21 07:49:18 PM
In the downtown area we just call that Wednesday or Thursday or Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, or just about any other day!!!
 
2014-07-21 07:52:35 PM

Bondith: Boo_Guy: "...when an approaching man stuck his hand in his sweats and pointed his finger to imitate a gun."

I had a friend in grade school who always wore sweats and when he stuck his hand in them it wasn't to make it look like a gun.

And if he had a hole in them where all 4 seams met he'd stick a pencil part way in the hole and walk so that it bobbed up and down with each step.

/He was a few sandwiches short of a picnic
//Wondering how he ended up now

He's accosting random people in the street and threatening to take ladies' laptops upstairs.


I can't see him getting into the US when the border agents are denying people for taking antidepressants.
 
2014-07-21 07:55:05 PM
quotationmarksetsy.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-07-21 07:55:49 PM
So at the bottom of the page they have the following headlines for Seattle 911 Odd News.

    Woman assaults employees, drops pants at Broadway Dick's Drive-In

    Driver rams woman in West Seattle during parking spot fight

    Woman on 'meth rampage' emerges from under bed at U-District condo

    Couple's 911 call leads to their own bust in Seattle

    Medical Examiner asks: Who donated human skulls to Bellevue Goodwill?

    Naked man breaks into Denny-Blaine home to preach during LSD trip

    Convicted murderer steals knife, Snapple in Lake City

    Pike Place flasher to cops: I'm 'just hanging out'

    Pantsless man goes on crazy spree in Capitol Hill, Eastlake

    Police seek Central District poochnapper who responded to Craigslist ad for dog 'hit'

    Seattle police arrest man who tries to burn his own poop next to police station

    Naked man leads police on downtown chase, jumps in Elliott Bay

    Police arrest man who spit at officer after imagining he was carjacked

    Man steals Subway toilet in West Seattle

    State Patrol arrests man hiding between cab and trailer of semi truck near Covington

    Mount Baker man frustrated with pot he gets in the mail

    Seattle weather dampens apparent arson attempt

    Man robbed after dancers blocked his car near Seward Park

    Pantless man kicks in apartment door in search of coat

    Police: Burglar bites South Park resident at his home, gets zapped with stun gun

    Group carrying firearms on Seattle rooftop part of music video shoot

    'Sicilian mafia' mobster tries to duck scotch and fish tab in SLU

    Man stealing Seahawks sweatshirt stabs security guard in head

    Bonney Lake man featured on national TV with his guns arrested for ... owning guns

    Known criminal tries to steal truck with dry gas tank in Auburn

    Fresh animal skulls left on Fremont lawn

    Drunk Santa storms Ride the Ducks bus

    Man flashes Pioneer Square club after rejection from groped women

    Man arrested after attempting 'citizen's arrest'

    Police stop man's Capitol Hill office chair joy ride

    Officers find pig in sweatpants, panting dog, poop inside sweltering car

I think each one of those headlines has its own corresponding Fark thread. Gotta love that Seattle weirdness. It makes L.A. seem almost normal.
 
2014-07-21 07:57:03 PM
"A police dog responded to the area..."

Jeez this strung out guy spends half the day accosting people and they can't be bothered to send anything more than a police dog to check it out? Lazy SOB's!
 
2014-07-21 08:02:59 PM

Danger Avoid Death: So at the bottom of the page they have the following headlines for Seattle 911 Odd News.


...

I think each one of those headlines has its own corresponding Fark thread. Gotta love that Seattle weirdness. It makes L.A. seem almost normal.

If that's all recent news then Florida really needs to step up it's game!
 
2014-07-21 08:05:26 PM

Hoopy Frood: fusillade762: a suspicious man entered her apartment through an unlocked door, saying he needed to take her laptop upstairs. The woman said, "no," so the man left

How did he know she had a laptop upstairs? Or did he just want to move her downstairs laptop from its current location?

And how did he know who she was talking to on the phone later?


Maybe he's a wizard?
 
2014-07-21 08:05:28 PM

Danger Avoid Death: So at the bottom of the page they have the following headlines for Seattle 911 Odd News.

    Woman assaults employees, drops pants at Broadway Dick's Drive-In

    Driver rams woman in West Seattle during parking spot fight

    Woman on 'meth rampage' emerges from under bed at U-District condo

    Couple's 911 call leads to their own bust in Seattle

    Medical Examiner asks: Who donated human skulls to Bellevue Goodwill?

    Naked man breaks into Denny-Blaine home to preach during LSD trip

    Convicted murderer steals knife, Snapple in Lake City

    Pike Place flasher to cops: I'm 'just hanging out'

    Pantsless man goes on crazy spree in Capitol Hill, Eastlake

    Police seek Central District poochnapper who responded to Craigslist ad for dog 'hit'

    Seattle police arrest man who tries to burn his own poop next to police station

    Naked man leads police on downtown chase, jumps in Elliott Bay

    Police arrest man who spit at officer after imagining he was carjacked

    Man steals Subway toilet in West Seattle

    State Patrol arrests man hiding between cab and trailer of semi truck near Covington

    Mount Baker man frustrated with pot he gets in the mail

...


This would either be the funniest Almost Live Cops skit every, or cause the cast to quit in despair en masse.
 
2014-07-21 08:07:50 PM

fusillade762: a suspicious man entered her apartment through an unlocked door, saying he needed to take her laptop upstairs. The woman said, "no," so the man left

How did he know she had a laptop upstairs? Or did he just want to move her downstairs laptop from its current location?


English is hard.
 
2014-07-21 08:08:48 PM

Danger Avoid Death: So at the bottom of the page they have the following headlines for Seattle 911 Odd News.

    Woman assaults employees, drops pants at Broadway Dick's Drive-In

    Driver rams woman in West Seattle during parking spot fight

    Woman on 'meth rampage' emerges from under bed at U-District condo

    Couple's 911 call leads to their own bust in Seattle

    Medical Examiner asks: Who donated human skulls to Bellevue Goodwill?

    Naked man breaks into Denny-Blaine home to preach during LSD trip

    Convicted murderer steals knife, Snapple in Lake City

    Pike Place flasher to cops: I'm 'just hanging out'

    Pantsless man goes on crazy spree in Capitol Hill, Eastlake

    Police seek Central District poochnapper who responded to Craigslist ad for dog 'hit'

    Seattle police arrest man who tries to burn his own poop next to police station

    Naked man leads police on downtown chase, jumps in Elliott Bay

    Police arrest man who spit at officer after imagining he was carjacked

    Man steals Subway toilet in West Seattle

    State Patrol arrests man hiding between cab and trailer of semi truck near Covington

    Mount Baker man frustrated with pot he gets in the mail

    Seattle weather dampens apparent arson attempt

    Man robbed after dancers blocked his car near Seward Park

    Pantless man kicks in apartment door in search of coat

    Police: Burglar bites South Park resident at his home, gets zapped with stun gun

    Group carrying firearms on Seattle rooftop part of music video shoot

    'Sicilian mafia' mobster tries to duck scotch and fish tab in SLU

    Man stealing Seahawks sweatshirt stabs security guard in head

    Bonney Lake man featured on national TV with his guns arrested for ... owning guns

    Known criminal tries to steal truck with dry gas tank in Auburn

    Fresh animal skulls left on Fremont lawn

    Drunk Santa storms Ride the Ducks bus

    Man flashes Pioneer Square club after rejection from groped women

    Man arr ...


Just an average week.  People in Seattle get deranged when the sun comes out and won't set until 9:00 at night.  It's not all orcas and Space Needles, you know.
 
2014-07-21 08:11:41 PM
"Officers find pig in sweatpants, panting dog, poop inside sweltering car "


I...don't, even
 
2014-07-21 08:13:51 PM
When in doubt, flat out?
 
2014-07-21 08:21:08 PM

caddisfly: He just missed his girlfriend.
[cdn2-b.examiner.com image 521x350]
/methed up woman who hid under Seattle couple's bed last week
/tweekers hate eyebrows



I can see why, easy to hide amongst all that junk.
 
2014-07-21 08:23:48 PM

CornFedIowan: He came to a fork in the road and didn't take it. Yogi is unimpressed.


To be fair, it's a pretty big fork.

lh5.googleusercontent.com
 
2014-07-21 08:24:43 PM

just_another_asshole/jaa: In the downtown area we just call that Wednesday or Thursday or Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, or just about any other day!!!


I don't think we've ever died on a Tuesday.
 
2014-07-21 08:37:48 PM
Ok, I think we can all agree, drugged (probably meth or bath salts) or mental issues, or both since it takes mental issues to do meth or bath salts....

Hats off to the home owner took him down, it seems like everyone else could have done it as well.
 
2014-07-21 08:40:51 PM

Danger Avoid Death: So at the bottom of the page they have the following headlines for Seattle 911 Odd News.

    Woman assaults employees, drops pants at Broadway Dick's Drive-In

    Driver rams woman in West Seattle during parking spot fight

    Woman on 'meth rampage' emerges from under bed at U-District condo

    Couple's 911 call leads to their own bust in Seattle

    Medical Examiner asks: Who donated human skulls to Bellevue Goodwill?

    Naked man breaks into Denny-Blaine home to preach during LSD trip

    Convicted murderer steals knife, Snapple in Lake City

    Pike Place flasher to cops: I'm 'just hanging out'

    Pantsless man goes on crazy spree in Capitol Hill, Eastlake

    Police seek Central District poochnapper who responded to Craigslist ad for dog 'hit'

    Seattle police arrest man who tries to burn his own poop next to police station

    Naked man leads police on downtown chase, jumps in Elliott Bay

    Police arrest man who spit at officer after imagining he was carjacked

    Man steals Subway toilet in West Seattle

    State Patrol arrests man hiding between cab and trailer of semi truck near Covington

    Mount Baker man frustrated with pot he gets in the mail

    Seattle weather dampens apparent arson attempt

    Man robbed after dancers blocked his car near Seward Park

    Pantless man kicks in apartment door in search of coat

    Police: Burglar bites South Park resident at his home, gets zapped with stun gun

    Group carrying firearms on Seattle rooftop part of music video shoot

    'Sicilian mafia' mobster tries to duck scotch and fish tab in SLU

    Man stealing Seahawks sweatshirt stabs security guard in head

    Bonney Lake man featured on national TV with his guns arrested for ... owning guns

    Known criminal tries to steal truck with dry gas tank in Auburn

    Fresh animal skulls left on Fremont lawn

    Drunk Santa storms Ride the Ducks bus

    Man flashes Pioneer Square club after rejection from groped women

    Man arr ...


You just don't understand how wonderful the Seattle area is to live in! With all the rain, overcast gloom, over crowding and price pressures, it is nice to see people be individuals and just express themselves. You know just let it out...
 
2014-07-21 09:05:34 PM

fusillade762: Hoopy Frood: fusillade762: a suspicious man entered her apartment through an unlocked door, saying he needed to take her laptop upstairs. The woman said, "no," so the man left

How did he know she had a laptop upstairs? Or did he just want to move her downstairs laptop from its current location?

And how did he know who she was talking to on the phone later?

Maybe he's a wizard?


Contractor for the NSA.  They're having a hard time hiring good people these days for some reason.
 
2014-07-21 09:07:28 PM
This makes 3 weird crimes in as many days for Seattle on Fark. Nice. This guy, hands swinging woman, and Dick Drive-in mooning chick
 
2014-07-21 09:16:24 PM

zerkalo: This makes 3 weird crimes in as many days for Seattle on Fark. Nice. This guy, hands swinging woman, and Dick Drive-in mooning chick


That's Dick's Drive-In you know.

/cheap and reasonable quality burgers, fries
//may grab myself a bag of Dick's on the way back home.
 
2014-07-21 09:31:22 PM

Boo_Guy: Danger Avoid Death: So at the bottom of the page they have the following headlines for Seattle 911 Odd News.

...

I think each one of those headlines has its own corresponding Fark thread. Gotta love that Seattle weirdness. It makes L.A. seem almost normal.

If that's all recent news then Florida really needs to step up it's game!


That Craigslist poochnapper, it was Kramer, wasn't it?
 
2014-07-21 09:39:05 PM

Resident Muslim: Boo_Guy: Danger Avoid Death: So at the bottom of the page they have the following headlines for Seattle 911 Odd News.

...

I think each one of those headlines has its own corresponding Fark thread. Gotta love that Seattle weirdness. It makes L.A. seem almost normal.

If that's all recent news then Florida really needs to step up it's game!

That Craigslist poochnapper, it was Kramer, wasn't it?


I spent a few minutes looking at this because I thought it said poosnapper and I couldn't figure out what the hell Kramer had to do with it,  and what a poosnapper is.
 
2014-07-21 09:41:29 PM
Third mistake:  Meet the Buddha, fail to kill the Buddha.
 
2014-07-21 09:53:19 PM

bonobo73: zerkalo: This makes 3 weird crimes in as many days for Seattle on Fark. Nice. This guy, hands swinging woman, and Dick Drive-in mooning chick

That's Dick's Drive-In you know.

/cheap and reasonable quality burgers, fries
//may grab myself a bag of Dick's on the way back home.


Oh my! Yeah. I muffed that.
 
2014-07-21 10:34:20 PM

Boo_Guy: "...when an approaching man stuck his hand in his sweats and pointed his finger to imitate a gun."

I had a friend in grade school who always wore sweats and when he stuck his hand in them it wasn't to make it look like a gun.

And if he had a hole in them where all 4 seams met he'd stick a pencil part way in the hole and walk so that it bobbed up and down with each step.

/He was a few sandwiches short of a picnic
//Wondering how he ended up now


Stabbed himself with a #2 Lead Pencil?

/ old school style?
 
2014-07-21 11:03:21 PM
images.yuku.com.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2014-07-22 01:14:48 AM

Boo_Guy: "...when an approaching man stuck his hand in his sweats and pointed his finger to imitate a gun."

I had a friend in grade school who always wore sweats and when he stuck his hand in them it wasn't to make it look like a gun.

And if he had a hole in them where all 4 seams met he'd stick a pencil part way in the hole and walk so that it bobbed up and down with each step.

/He was a few sandwiches short of a picnic
//Wondering how he ended up now


He moved to Portland. Possibly Seattle.
 
2014-07-22 01:21:35 AM

PleaseHamletDon'tHurtEm: Third mistake:  Meet the Buddha, fail to kill the Buddha.


There was a Shriekback song about being on the road gunning for the Buddha.
 
2014-07-22 03:47:54 AM

PleaseHamletDon'tHurtEm: Third mistake:  Meet the Buddha, fail to kill the Buddha.


OK - bear with me here.  Maybe the destruction of the Bamiyan Buddhas was, in fact, the Taliban's perfect interpretation of Gautama's teachings against attachment.  They saw the Buddha on the road, and they killed him.

I probably need to refill my glass.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
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