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(Irish Post)   Irish restaurant bans 'loud' Americans   (irishpost.co.uk ) divider line 192
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9417 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jul 2014 at 12:12 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-07-21 09:16:20 AM  
That's not 'loud', that's FREEDOM!

If it weren't for America, you's be speakin German you bog-sucking Micks!

etc...


/amidoinitrite?
 
2014-07-21 09:18:06 AM  
"All this drinking, violence, destruction of properly.  Are these the things we think of, when we think of the Irish?"
 
2014-07-21 09:19:24 AM  
They could've just installed a narrow front door.
 
2014-07-21 09:19:53 AM  
The sign specifically said "no loud Americans". Well, to tell a family secret, my grandmother was Dutch.
 
2014-07-21 09:31:35 AM  
I live in New Orleans and feel the same way about busloads of loud, obnoxious Americans who can't hold their booze.
 
2014-07-21 09:31:35 AM  
Some people could stand to be less loud.
 
2014-07-21 09:32:04 AM  
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish man?  None.
/some Irish ancestry
 
2014-07-21 10:11:51 AM  

nekom: How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish man?  None.
/some Irish ancestry



What is an Irish 7 course meal?
A potato and a six pack.

/ 1/4 Irish.
 
2014-07-21 10:27:36 AM  

nekom: How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish man?  None.
/some Irish ancestry


Ah, the Irishman's dilemma: eat the potato now or drink it later.
 
2014-07-21 10:37:54 AM  
So, an Irishman is stranded on a deserted island, and for twenty years, he's combed the beach every morning to see what has washed up. One morning, he finds an old lamp. He rubs it, and a genie comes out. "MASTER, YOU HAVE RELEASED ME FROM MY PRISON OF FIVE THOUSAND YEARS. I WILL GRANT YOU ANY THREE WISHES." The Irishman says, "Oh, well, I haven't had a drink in twenty long years. I want a whiskey jug that never runs dry." The genie bellows, "AS YOU COMMAND MY MASTER" and a whiskey jug appears before the Irishman. He grabs it, uncorks it, takes a number of swigs of the best tasting Irish whiskey he's ever had, put the cork back in, opens it, and looks in to see it has magically refilled. "Oh, it's wonderful!" The genie says, "I AM GLAD YOU ARE PLEASED, MASTER. WHAT ARE YOUR OTHER TWO WISHES?" The Irishman says, "Oh, that's easy. I'll have two more jugs just like this one."

/1/4 Irish, but I think if there are any full-blooded Irishmen who want to kick our asses, we might deserve it before this thread is over.
 
2014-07-21 11:47:59 AM  
C'mon, it's only fair play....


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-07-21 12:15:02 PM  
Do they charge extra if you can't speak Irish?
 
2014-07-21 12:15:12 PM  
Ib4 someone links to that professor who insists NINA wasn't a thing.
 
2014-07-21 12:16:30 PM  
img.fark.net

"Waldorf Salad!!"
 
2014-07-21 12:16:49 PM  

AGremlin: C'mon, it's only fair play....


I read an analysis of the NY Times help wanted section that found only a single ad mentioning not hiring Irish from 1851 to 1951.
 
2014-07-21 12:18:09 PM  
Only the Irish can be loud in an Irish Pub in Ireland.

On another note. Not all pubs are loud boisterous places and don't want to be.  Some of the U.S. bars etc receive business from quiet people who can't stand loud bars.  Granted I only know of 2 in my city.
 
2014-07-21 12:18:22 PM  
American not able to handle their p' & q's like the Irish.  Then they go on vacation and can't handle it.  I am shocked.
 
2014-07-21 12:18:35 PM  

Nabb1: I live in New Orleans and feel the same way about busloads of loud, obnoxious Americans who can't hold their booze.


To quote Seymour Skinner from "Chief Wiggum, P.I.":

"Funny, New Orleans isn't known for being much of a party town."
 
2014-07-21 12:19:52 PM  
Because the Irish, of course, are the very example of refined decorum when getting their drink on.
 
2014-07-21 12:19:56 PM  

mcreadyblue: AGremlin: C'mon, it's only fair play....

I read an analysis of the NY Times help wanted section that found only a single ad mentioning not hiring Irish from 1851 to 1951.


It was a joke.

But that's interesting.
 
2014-07-21 12:20:07 PM  
I kind of understand. We're pretty much all gigantic asses. When we were in Ireland, my dad got VERY upset that a restaurant didn't have a credit card machine. I just took the waitress aside and gave her cash to cover the bill; while he fumed. It was a very small Irish town and they probably don't get very many tourists.

/ I told dad before hand that a lot of places over there only deal in cash; he listened to my mom, who couldn't dream of a place that didn't have a credit card machine
 
2014-07-21 12:20:16 PM  

Facetious_Speciest: Ib4 someone links to that professor who insists NINA wasn't a thing.


huh?

eil.com
 
2014-07-21 12:20:20 PM  

Facetious_Speciest: Ib4 someone links to that professor who insists NINA wasn't a thing.


In America? No.

In England? Very much yes.
 
2014-07-21 12:20:43 PM  
www.hellawella.com
 
2014-07-21 12:21:45 PM  
Too bad that tag has an AMERICAN FLAG behind it which totally changes the meaning of the headline
 
2014-07-21 12:22:48 PM  
It's cool. I can use an irish accent and start a pub sing.
 
2014-07-21 12:23:37 PM  
I love Ireland. It is the only place where I've seen an eighty-year old try to kick a publican for not serving him another round, immediately followed by another old man in a tweed jacket with a bulbous, gin-blossomed nose recite poetry about the perils of excess, after which everyone nodded and said, "Aye."
 
2014-07-21 12:23:49 PM  
Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?
One less drunk guy.
 
2014-07-21 12:23:51 PM  
Also the poster has a retarded apostrophe, and the copywriter transcribed it incorrectly by omitting the retarded apostrophe.

Additionally, USA! USA! USA!
 
2014-07-21 12:24:22 PM  

ManateeGag: "All this drinking, violence, destruction of properly.  Are these the things we think of, when we think of the Irish?"


*crosses out "Irish"*
*writes in "Irish-Americans"*

FTFY
 
2014-07-21 12:25:23 PM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: The sign specifically said "no loud Americans". Well, to tell a family secret, my grandmother was Dutch.


I farking hate the Dutch.

/also people who don't respect other's cultures.
 
2014-07-21 12:26:06 PM  

oldfarthenry: They could've just installed a narrow front door.


I believe the proper term for that style of door is "Yank excluder".
 
2014-07-21 12:26:25 PM  
Well, there are a lot of Americans who don't have an "inside voice."
 
2014-07-21 12:26:30 PM  
Does this include the loud tourists from Brazil, Argentina and Mexico, because they too are (South or Latin) Americans?
 
2014-07-21 12:26:38 PM  

Nabb1: I live in New Orleans and feel the same way about busloads of loud, obnoxious Americans who can't hold their booze.


I don't blame you. N.O. does have a history with females who are noisy, destructive, and can't hold their liquids.
 
2014-07-21 12:26:45 PM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: The sign specifically said "no loud Americans". Well, to tell a family secret, my grandmother was Dutch.


So? If she lived in the US, your other grandparents lived in the US, your parents were born and raised in the US and you were born and raised in the US you are still an American, not Dutch.
 
2014-07-21 12:27:21 PM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: oldfarthenry: They could've just installed a narrow front door.

I believe the proper term for that style of door is "Yank excluder".


Persona non fattus.
 
2014-07-21 12:28:29 PM  

DerAppie: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: The sign specifically said "no loud Americans". Well, to tell a family secret, my grandmother was Dutch.

So? If she lived in the US, your other grandparents lived in the US, your parents were born and raised in the US and you were born and raised in the US you are still an American, not Dutch.


upload.wikimedia.org
Part Dutch.
 
2014-07-21 12:28:53 PM  

DerAppie: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: The sign specifically said "no loud Americans". Well, to tell a family secret, my grandmother was Dutch.

So? If she lived in the US, your other grandparents lived in the US, your parents were born and raised in the US and you were born and raised in the US you are still an American, not Dutch.


No, he's Dutch-America you racist farkface.
 
2014-07-21 12:29:29 PM  

Nabb1: So, an Irishman is stranded on a deserted island, and for twenty years, he's combed the beach every morning to see what has washed up. One morning, he finds an old lamp. He rubs it, and a genie comes out. "MASTER, YOU HAVE RELEASED ME FROM MY PRISON OF FIVE THOUSAND YEARS. I WILL GRANT YOU ANY THREE WISHES." The Irishman says, "Oh, well, I haven't had a drink in twenty long years. I want a whiskey jug that never runs dry." The genie bellows, "AS YOU COMMAND MY MASTER" and a whiskey jug appears before the Irishman. He grabs it, uncorks it, takes a number of swigs of the best tasting Irish whiskey he's ever had, put the cork back in, opens it, and looks in to see it has magically refilled. "Oh, it's wonderful!" The genie says, "I AM GLAD YOU ARE PLEASED, MASTER. WHAT ARE YOUR OTHER TWO WISHES?" The Irishman says, "Oh, that's easy. I'll have two more jugs just like this one."

/1/4 Irish, but I think if there are any full-blooded Irishmen who want to kick our asses, we might deserve it before this thread is over.


*holds left hand in the air while writing down names with the right*

Right here and yeah, I'll get to ya in just a minute.
 
2014-07-21 12:29:58 PM  
So some drunken Mick has a potato up his ass.  He's probably just sore because all his neighbors moved to America.
 
2014-07-21 12:30:04 PM  

rkiller1: Does this include the loud tourists from Brazil, Argentina and Mexico, because they too are (South or Latin) Americans?


Yeah, but their women are sexy and not fat.  That makes up for it.
 
2014-07-21 12:30:43 PM  
Listen, just keep my Tab and Irish whiskey full and we won't have any problems, and with some ice this time you warm beverage weirdos!
 
2014-07-21 12:31:03 PM  

AGremlin: C'mon, it's only fair play....


"No Irish" is actually the name of a legendary career temp worker/hobo who lived 1819-1896 and possessed a Hawking-level intellect, wandering the country, working at jobs for a few weeks or months and leaving every business that employed him 300% more profitable. In 2012, 143 of the Fortune 500 list could be verified through historical documentation to have employed No Irish in the distant past.

It was a common superstition among job-creators at the time to post intricate wood-burned signs welcoming No Irish to be employed, in the hopes that their family business may prosper in perpetuity.
 
2014-07-21 12:31:27 PM  
Ironic, seeing as the only tourists louder than Americans are the Irish and Aussies.
 
2014-07-21 12:33:22 PM  
But I learned all the words to Danny Boy just for this vacation.
 
2014-07-21 12:33:32 PM  

rkiller1: DerAppie: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: The sign specifically said "no loud Americans". Well, to tell a family secret, my grandmother was Dutch.

So? If she lived in the US, your other grandparents lived in the US, your parents were born and raised in the US and you were born and raised in the US you are still an American, not Dutch.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 288x238]
Part Dutch.


www.wearysloth.com
 
2014-07-21 12:33:40 PM  

ransack.: AGremlin: C'mon, it's only fair play....

"No Irish" is actually the name of a legendary career temp worker/hobo who lived 1819-1896 and possessed a Hawking-level intellect, wandering the country, working at jobs for a few weeks or months and leaving every business that employed him 300% more profitable. In 2012, 143 of the Fortune 500 list could be verified through historical documentation to have employed No Irish in the distant past.

It was a common superstition among job-creators at the time to post intricate wood-burned signs welcoming No Irish to be employed, in the hopes that their family business may prosper in perpetuity.


Wow.  Nice urban legend.  There is a version of it where IBM's 50s-70s success is attributed to a man named "Fark T. Jews".

//that might count as a Godwin...
 
2014-07-21 12:34:37 PM  
We'll take the African Americans and the people of Chinese descent BUT WE DON'T WANT THE IRISH!
 
2014-07-21 12:34:58 PM  

rkiller1: DerAppie: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: The sign specifically said "no loud Americans". Well, to tell a family secret, my grandmother was Dutch.

So? If she lived in the US, your other grandparents lived in the US, your parents were born and raised in the US and you were born and raised in the US you are still an American, not Dutch.


Part Dutch.


Who, if I had to bet, doesn't speak Dutch, is unfamiliar with Dutch customs and behaviours and probably has not ever been in the Netherlands for any extended period of time.

He isn't Dutch. There might have been a Dutch(wo)man in his ancestry, but he isn't Dutch.
 
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